Thursday 27 June 2013

Day 248, Positive Findings/Remarks/Feelings regarding attractiveness for a woman/women. Part - 6

So continuing up to the next dimension, which is going to be the Physical/Behavioural-Dimension.


For a little context of the the previous post, i leave a bit of the last part in that post here:











Self-Reward:



Now that i have walked these specific fears, i am now more aware of the patterns i have accepted and allowed within and as myself and thus this give me now a window of opportunity to actually Do something about it, thus this point of '' LIVING SEX'' is what i must get practically as an expression of myself as the human physical body/form. Thus my Reward that i give to myself HERE within this post in relation to this specific Dimension is, that i can see what the fears i have created within and as myself can do in the form of me NOT taking my Self-Responsibility when i have to and able to in a moment and turn everything around as to what will be BEST for me and also for others as me that are in my direct environment.




Problem:



Physical/behavioural-Dimension:


***   itchy scalp

***   can't find a way to sit comfortable

***    i cannot relax my arms and just leave them in a comfortable position, i have to move them constantly trying to find a comfortable way of keeping them






Solutions:




Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not understand and pay attention to the little changes that happen to my physical body as in, when my scalp itches and i have to scratch it in a moment of being in her presence and that this is an indication that there is something about ME not understanding HER going on within me and the reason being because i am trying to understand  her from the perspective of my mind and not from a perspective of common sense.


I forgive myelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT use common sense in critical moments of being HERE, and instead let myself get lost into thoughts and making the understanding long and weary.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that i am not paying attention to my body that is actually HERE and missing myself as manifested LIFE right HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT be able to find a way to sit comfortable when i am in her presence, because of what I think/belief she might think about how i sit, with other words, ME thinking/believing that she is going to judge me on how i behave physically.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not be able to find a way to relax my arms in a comfortable position, and thus have to constantly try to find a comfortable position, just because i want to touch her skin, and choose not to do it within myself, because of what i think/belief she might think about me doing that or what she might think/belief the reason is for me doing that which to my mind will be something that is negative.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge her that she might be negative about me within her own thinking, when meanwhile all of this is my own self-created delusion about her, that has nothing to do with the actuality that is going on in her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to avoid touching her and feeling uncomfortable wanting to do that, because of my own self-created belief that she might not like it or wanting to be touched.




Self-Commitment statements:


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into scraching my head, i STOP   and i take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i scratch my head in her presence because i am trying to understand her from my mind perspective and not from a common sense perspective.


Thus within this i commit myself to pay attention to when i am in her presence and she is communicating with me and i scratch my head to immediately remind myself to look within myself in that moment as to find out what it is i am NOT understanding common- sensically, and if the opportunity present itself that i can investigate that point in that moment through self-forgiveness i do it and if it not, i take note and then do it later when i am at home by myself and can go through it more deeply.



When and as i see myself going into being uncomfortable within and as my body because of what i think/belief she might be thinking/believing about me, I STOP------ i take a deep breath or many deep breaths till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize when in her presence i go into a lot of what she might think/belief about me instead of just being HERE in the moment.

Therefore i commit myself to no matter what to focus on my breath when i am with her and to remind myself constantly to do so and if reactions do come up either positive or negative to forgive them immediately or take notice and do that later when i am alone and can sit alone and dig deeper in a quiet moment with myself.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into finding a comfortable position to place my arms, i STOP------------ i take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy/.


I realize that i am uncomfortable with my arms in her presence because i am in my mind thinking/believing what she might be thinking/believing if i were to touch her and that what she is thinking/believing is NOT at all what is the reason why i want to touch her and that touching her would be seen as something bad to do in that moment.

Thus i commit myself to make sure to when these moments arrive where i see that i am participating in these kind of mind delusions, to take my directive will and direct myself to NOT participate in them and give them attention and focus on my breathing and if when i have done this several time and it still continues every time again i then make sure that i do self-forgiveness about them in that moment or make notes and than do self-forgiveness when i am by myself and can sit more quietly and dig deeper into myself to see what i have missed and have not worked out yet, and thus apply myself accordingly.





Self-Reward:



So, within this post i have seen/realized/understand that my body is giving me some hints when i am partcipating in my mind delusions. Now all i have to do is to be very attentive when these physical behaviours occur to sort it out immediately or if they are not clear yet to me to investigate within me in what exactly i am participating within in my mind.



Thanks.





Larry Manuela







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Sunday 16 June 2013

Day 247, Positive Findings/Remarks/Feelings regarding attractiveness for a woman/women. Part 5

So, now i am moving to the next Dimension, which will be the Reaction-Dimension.


And to give some context, i leave just a little bit of the last part from my previous post:


Self-Reward:


Within this post i have seen/realized/understood that i have placed certain words to have certain and specific values for me, just in order for me to USE them to get myself energized and participating in the mind and NOT be HERE as my Human Physical Body/Form as i Breathe Right HERE. Thus my reward is that i am now aware of what i do and how i do it, so i can do something about it, that will eventually have an outcome that will be BEST for me and BEST for all.





Problem:






                            art done by: Andrew Gable



Reaction-Dimension:



****   fearing missing out on the passion

****   fear touching her, because of NOT knowing for sure if she will approve or not, and especially fearing how i will react if she would say NO to me, when i want it.


****   within lusting for her, there is also a fear underneath it, because i know that sex is never going to be the same again for me, because i have to express myself now as the body that i am with another body, and not having sex based on feelings/emotions/thoughts.








Solution:



Self-forgiveness statements:



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i will be missing out on passion if i do not engulf into and as passion as i perceived it in my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotion within me of missing ''passion'' as in missing the energy flow of what i used to get when having sex passionately according to how i defined  passion in my mind, and because of this i have this fear now within me existent. I fear having to go through expressing me as passion, something i have never done before and the fear of this is specific to the fear of failure.


Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project myself through my mind as a failure in the future if i would dare to Express myself as passion for real without thoughts/feelings/emotions being the starting-point or my motivation to engulf in the act of sex with her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind use fear in order for me to NOT make the decision to make sure that i work on perfecting myself practically and learn little by little HOW to actually/factually truly have passionate SEX with her, as an Expression as Self.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear touching her, just because of judgments i have placed within/as myself that if she would NOT approve  ME touching her, it will ''hurt'' me emotionally, because i wanted to touch her and she did NOT want me doing so, and therefore i rather choose NOT touching her at all, so i don't have to face that point, thus in this NOT taking my Self-Responsibility to actually just DO it and walk through this resistance and judgement to/towards her, which is in actuality Self-judgement.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to also fear HOW to touch her exactly, because i fear she might think/belief that the way i touch her is the way people touch each other when they are in love, which IS being seen as normal in this world, and that this will make her react within her to/towards me with negative remarks when in reality all i want IS to touch her as in really wanting to get to REALLY know how it really feels physically for real without any feelings/emotions/thoughts coming up within me to feel the skin of her body when i touch her, either with my hands or with my lips as in kissing her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to Fear going through Rejection.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed  myself to have the Fear of Rejection to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, because it suits me as my Mind Consciousness System BEST. It keeps me from NOT taking physical Action/Movement, thus within keeping Fear itself well and kicking in and as ME.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to lust her in a way and yet also at the same time Fear of going into having sex with her, because i know within me that i will be uncomfortable when i engage into sex based on energy as in having as starting-point; 'Lust!'  


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOW that i know that i have to learn/practice SEX as REALLY being the body totally/completely as one as equal and NOT having any reactions/judgement/thoughts/feelings/emotions coming up within me, is making me fear this having SEX with another/her enormously as IT is an Unknown territory for ME, where i never have been before, because where i was before when engaging in the act of sex with another, was just to USE the body to satisfy my personality in the mind, thus having a mind-orgasm, energy rise up all the way to the head.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to Fear the Unknown within me just because i have NOT lived it yet, thus proving in this way to myself right HERE in this post that I NEVER LIVED SEX BEFORE!





Self-commitment statements:



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into creation of fear within me as IF i am missing passion, I immediately STOP. I take a deep breath or many deep breaths till i am clear and stable HERE as my human physical body/form and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i use this concept that i have created myself of passion in order for me to NOT Really get to the point of actually living passion, thus that passion is my expression as the whom i am, as for example walking or talking.



Therefore i commit myself to work on this passion and learn/practice it till it becomes the whom i am, as i express myself within and as passion through the act of sex with another and also thus with everything else that i will do, because it is one of the many expressions that pertains to my human physical body/form.



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into  judgement/justifications, i just immediately STOP----------------- Take a deep breath and remind myself within and as my breath that i am HERE, and make sure that i stay HERE focused within/as my breath and my human physical body/form till i am  clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.



I realize that i am using these judgement and justifications because i fear being rejected or fear how i will react being rejected.


Thus within this, I commit myself to utilize the tools of Self-forgiveness and Self-commitments in Self-honesty to tackle this specific fear and little by little as i walk this fear of rejection through and push myself to go through resistances till i am effective in living as the whom i am as the human physical body/form without fear, without judgement, without justifications, and to keep reminding myself that all of this is a Process is NOT something that happens over night.


When and as i see myself going into fear of an unknown territory, I immediately STOP. I take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE through focusing on my breathing long and deep and slow, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i have this specific fear of the Unknown as in this case actually expressing me as sex during sex as my human physical body/form totally and completely as one as equal as Self, with another because i NEVER LIVED it before, thus as i said: '' I NEVER LIVED SEX BEFORE!''





Self-Reward:



Now that i have walked these specific fears, i am now more aware of the patterns i have accepted and allowed within and as myself and thus this give me now a window of opportunity to actually Do something about it, thus this point of '' LIVING SEX'' is what i must get practically as an expression of myself as the human physical body/form. Thus my Reward that i give to myself HERE within this post in relation to this specific Dimension is, that i can see what the fears i have created within and as myself can do in the form of me NOT taking my Self-Responsibility when i have to and able to in a moment and turn everything around as to what will be BEST for me and also for others as me that are in my direct environment.






Thanks.


Larry Manuela






Join us at: DESTENI



Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world, and i mean ALL: EQUALMONEY



Support our research and by one or more of our educational products that will surely blow your mind:   EQAFE



Walk yourself out of your illusion back into the physical LIFE substance through using the tools in this course: DIP








Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/








































Saturday 15 June 2013

Day 246, Positive Findings/Remarks/Feelings regarding attractiveness for a woman/women. Part- 4

Continuing with the next Dimension.


The next Dimension is going to be the Backchat-Dimension.



For a little bit of context, here is a little of the previous post:



Self-Reward:



Within this post i have seen/realized/understood through my own writing that i am using imagination to trigger energies, within and as my mind in order for me to get my energetic highs as feelings and emotions, and thus keeping myself in this matter away from actually/factually/practically Expressing ME, as the Human Physical Body/Form, thus NOT living as the body but as a personality in a mind.





Problem:



Backchat-Dimension:





                                                    Art done by: Andrew Gable




***  if i could only get that point of passion again with her

***  lord have mercy, look at how beautiful she looks and she doesn't even know it

***  why not just have sex and then we deal with the practice of what come up when we are done?

***   i can still remember touching her skin, it felt so nice

***  why is her skin-color still having impact on me?

***  damn, her voice is making me crazy, so soft!





Solution:







Self-forgiveness statements:



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' if only could get that point of passion again with her,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to have  this backchat: '' if i only could get that point of passion again with her,'' to exist within me, because i am looking at satisfying my own sexual desire based on energy, as a form of fulfillment that i just have got to have.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link, the backchat: '' if only could get that point of passion again with her,'' to fill in a point of fulfillment within myself as implying to myself that i am somehow empty if i do NOT get to experience this passion as in the act of having sex with her, thus projecting my desire onto her as if she is the one i need in order to get this passion, NOT seeing/realizing/understanding that this passion as i have define it within me is nothing but experiencing energy in the mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define emptiness in relation to NOT getting an energy kick as in passionate sex.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that there is a huge difference between passion related to energy and passion related to actual real expression as the body itself right HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' lord have mercy, look at how beautiful she looks and she doesn't even know it,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy as i based this ''looking beautiful'' as a trigger-point within myself in order to engage into energetic built-ups.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link the backchat: '' lord have mercy, look at how beautiful she looks and she doesn't even know it,'' to  a trigger-point within me as to create feelings of desires to/towards her to fulfill my own self-interest.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' why not just have sex and then we deal with the practice of what come up when we are done?,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, which is a way of looking to satisfy my own self-interest in the form of experiencing sex with her pure for the sake of getting energy out of it for my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want/wish/desire more energy-sex instead of pushing myself to learn expressing myself within/as SEX as the totality of the whom i am as the human physical body/form.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' i can still remember touching her skin, it felt so fine,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use this specific backchat: '' i can still remember touching her skin, it felt so nice,'' because it allow me to participate in memories that can induce certain/specific feelings as to drive me to eventually make the move to when their is an opportunity to feel her skin as in touching it, i can than be satisfied within and as my mind as i interpret this within/as my mind as a winning-point, an energetic boost just to keep the energy existent within and as my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat as a question to myself as: '' why is her skin-color still having impact on me,'' to exist within me as me as i see that by emphasizing the words: '' skin- color,'' i am feeding the feelings and emotions and memories that are pertaining to it, so i can keep all of that alive and well within and as my mind as energy as the whom i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within and as this world, wherein a simple thing like a skin-color can make me react in feelings and emotions based on some set of values i have given to it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to color-in what i see as in her skin-color in my mind, instead of just looking at the skin-color as i see it with my human physical eyes and that is it, without any energy racing within and as me as what i think/belief about the skin-color.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' damn, her voice is making me crazy, so soft!,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give a positive value to the softness sounding of her voice to utilize this to charge certain/specific memories and feelings within me all of which are related to SEX, as i have valued SEX as a means to get me lots of energy, especially when i reach an orgasm.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a value-system within myself in relation to a woman's softness of voice to be a VERY important point for me to extract/suck more Substance from/of my body to transform it into energy for my mind as the Feelings i then experience as the reward of my participation in the value-system of my own creation within and as myself.




Self-Commitments statements:



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into back-chatting about passion in my mind, I STOP-------------- take a deep or many deep breaths till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am using the word ''passion'' as a means to fulfill some energy experience within and as myself and NOT '' Passion,'' as in me expressing me passionately as the whom i am as my human physical body as one as equal as LIFE, HERE.

Therefore, I commit myself to be attentive in every moment and look within me for certain energetic feelings that trigger some backchat that on their turn trigger a longing and a want, a desire to fulfill the crutch so to speak. And thus to investigate the point through the writing of self-forgiveness and corrective statements to STOP and eventually learn to walk as ME as the body as the Real being of earth, Expressing itself as a manifested Life-Form.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into, having a backchat with ''beauty'' in it to create energies within me, i immediately STOP,------------- take a deep breath and ground myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize i am using my own interpretation as what i have defined as ''beauty'' within me to trigger some memories and feelings in order for me to experience energy within and as myself through/as my mind.

Therefore, I commit myself to investigate and work out these point when they appear within me as in writing them out in order for me to see what it is i am accepting and allowing and thus change myself to NOT participate in such energy and to just be HERE.



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into participating in backchat in relation to wanting to have sex with her, I immediately STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and make sure i continue focusing on my breathing till nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am looking for ways to have sex with her, just to satisfy my own selfish desire to go through the experience of sex and to engulf into energies that are prevalent to come up during sex and especially when having an orgasm.

Thus, therefore I commit myself to NOT give in, into this backchat neither into what makes me react because of this and to NOT give them attention and instead place my attention on my breathing and invent anything that physical to do, in order to be just HERE physically and not lost in my mind, and if there are points that come up, that i see within myself that i haven't investigated yet, i then make sure that i write them out in the form of Self-forgiveness and Corrective-Statements to attend and workout the point in order for me to be/become my own directive principle instead of my feelings/emotions/memories doing that for me, which have proven to me are NOT doing things that are BEST for me and all of LIFE, only what is BEST for Self-interest as the personalities i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.


When and as i see myself going into any backchat related to skin-color, I immediately STOP myself in participating in them, and make sure i take a long deep breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize i am using backchat that have to do with her skin-color just to generate some feelings within me.


Therefore i commit myself to make sure i do NOT participate in these backchat when they do come up again, as i already did self-forgiveness on them thus i know they will come again as to see if i will give-in into them, thus i will let myself get distracted of my being HERE as my human physical body and my breathing, and if this continues for too long and doesn't STOP, than i know that i have missed some points, that i have NOT gone deep enough investigating and out-rooting the cause of them existing within me as me. Thus i will take on writing them out through Self-forgiveness till i am satisfied with myself that i have reach a point of depth where there is nothing within me anymore about this particular point.


When and as i see myself going into getting myself all worked out because of what i perceive her voice is ''doing'' to me, I STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i have placed many emphasis on the sounds of voice of women in and hers in particular as something i need in order to make me feel certain/specific way in me as a '' good feeling.''


Thus within this, I commit myself to little by little to workout all this delusional belief that i have placed within me as a value system to energize myself positively. Thus i write myself out in Self-honesty and make sure to place commitment statements that are doable for me to practically engage into, so i can walk the point more effectively.




Self-Reward:


Within this post i have seen/realized/understood that i have placed certain words to have certain and specific values for me, just in order for me to USE them to get myself energized and participating in the mind and NOT be HERE as my Human Physical Body/Form as i Breathe Right HERE. Thus my reward is that i am now aware of what i do and how i do it, so i can do something about it, that will eventually have an outcome that will be BEST for me and BEST for all.






Thanks.



Larry Manuela





Join us at: DESTENI



Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world, and i mean ALL: EQUALMONEY



Support our research and by one or more of our educational products that will surely blow your mind:   EQAFE



Walk yourself out of your illusion back into the physical LIFE substance through using the tools in this course: DIP








Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com