Day 282, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part-7

I am now going to work out the next dimension in regards to these points.
What I wrote in my previous blog in the end as a summary was the following:


Self-Reward:



Within this Thread I have seen/realized and understood within and as myself that I am creating believes about my voice as how another will perceive and interpret it and based on this belief that in its own turn is also my own perception and interpretation put me in a position where I judge myself, sabotage myself and give the belief more importance and value from which I go through an reaction of anxiety to/towards myself in realtion to what I think/belief others may find about myself, and also within this when it comes to starring at women's legs I have placed a judgement within and as myself to be dishonest and unacceptable because I have set my own moral code and I then break it, thus react in anxiety for deliberately breaking my own moral-code of conduct. Thus now within all this I have given myself the opportunity to clean up this mess within and as myself till I will be free of these reactions to/towards myself and to/towards others as myself.


So now up to the next dimension which will be, the Physical/Behavioural-Dimension.




                                                                       

                                                                           


Physical/Behavioural-Dimension:


***  My heart beating faster by having the thoughts/imaginations about kissing her or a woman

***  My penis reacting and becomes hard because of me having thoughts about how her lips must feel on my lips

***  My hands caressing my own face as I get into the starring at the shineness of her or womens body(ies)


Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have my heart beating faster by having the thoughts/imaginations about kissing her or a woman, because I can see that this is the way I always prepare myself for probable, in real time opportunities, if they should ever present themselves, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am preparing myself within and as and through my mind for something that can only happen physically, in order for it to be real.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into my mind preparation for an actual even that may or may not happen in the Real reality, I STOP-----------I breathe, and I focus on my breathing till I am calm and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that my heart is beating faster due to the excitement I get from the thoughts/imaginations about kissing her or a woman, and this give me then a platform through the mind to prepare myself for an actual event that may occur or may not occur in the future, but it is to be ready so to speak, when in reality I am aware that an actual, in real time event in a moment is that what it is, and cannot be prepared for by imagining it, because the other person has their own way of expressing themselves which is not known within my mind, my mind only focus on itself and what it can get as energy out of any situation as myself as it.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure I am aware of myself as my breath in each moment and be patient with myself when I do miss breaths, to just stop and start again, focusing again and help myself remind myself through doing something physical, like for example, simply holding my two hands together or take a short walk outside or just move from one place of the room to another in the house, and if this point keep on coming up, it does not stop, then I know that there are some points within it that I have missed, so I go to my writing of Self-Forgiveness and my commitments to life again till this point is completely worked out and is no a point anymore within my life that affect my living and also the living of others as myself within my life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have my penis react to thoughts I have about how her or a woman's lips must be feeling, because this gives me an indication of liking her or a woman sexually and that my penis getting hard just because of a thought means that she or the woman is approved by/through my mind consciousness system as myself, in way telling myself, convincing myself that my penis reacting as becoming hard is a validation I can trust, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I have made my penis addicted to react to these thoughts, because somewhere, deeply within myself I am aware that these thoughts can never be experienced as real if there is no physical interaction in some way involved.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into having my penis react to thoughts about kissing her or a woman's  lips and how it must feel like, I STOP---------------take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. 

I realize that my penis is very reactive to thoughts of sexual imprinted images, because I have made it addicted to react to these pictures and images as thoughts within and as my mind and through this give myself as these thoughts the validation of being experienced as if they are real as me.


Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to work out all these thoughts that make my penis react and becomes hard, and the next time my penis becomes hard to immediately remind myself to slow myself down and look within myself as my thoughts to see what movement i took within my thoughts that made my dick react and become hard, because that will indication, especially if there is no woman in actuality with me touching for real, just myself alone with my thoughts and my penis reacting as becoming hard, and if this continues even when I am slowing myself down in breath, then I am aware that I have not write myself out completely on this point and thus, I have to go to the drawing board again to dig more deeply into my mind consciousness system to find the specific point till I am free from it all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to caress my face when I am starring at her or a woman's body and liking the shineness of it, my hand caressing my face gives me the indication that in reality I want to caress her body, therefore my hand is doing that out of pure indoctrination or programming that I myself have placed within myself as a physical reaction to my thoughts.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into caressing my face because of what I have as thoughts coming up within me as starring at her shiny body, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am caressing my face when starring at her body but this is something that is going on in my mind and is not happening in real reality, in the physical reality, there is no woman physically here in that moment with me to stare at, thus this is just make me stay within and as my mind consciousness system that will eventually lead me into actually trying to find to look for woman to match these thoughts as images and pictures in my mind, thus from there will never ever actually really communicate with someone entirely because I am looking for a match within my mind and within this my hands just go to my face as an indication that in my mind I am having these kind of thoughts but I am in that moment unaware of them but my hands are the proof, because they have been programmed to react in certain ways when certain/specific thoughts are within and as my mind.


Therefore, I commit myself to pay attention to my hands when they caress my face, to immediately in that moment to slow myself down in breath and start looking what thoughts I was having just before I started caressing my face, and when I do find the thought(s) to in that moment forgive myself that thought(s) and keep on breathing and focusing on my breathing and if the same reaction keeps on repeating itself, I then have to take it to writing of self-forgiveness to sort out the point completely, because that would be an indication that I have missed some vital points within my self-forgiveness statements that did not release the point completely.





Self-Reward:


Within this writing I have found within myself that I have made my body addictive to certain/specific patterns, but yet at the same time I can now use these pattern to identify when I am participating within and as my mind, because the body does not lie, it just follows the input that it has been given, or to put it more correctly, I manipulate through my mind my body to react in certain/specific ways in order to keep my mind going coming up with more thoughts and then to get the experience as if these are real by making the body react to them. Thus now that I am more aware of these, I can use these body behaviours to sort out myself as to what happens within my mind and forgive myself for allowing myself to have such thoughts that affect my body.






Thanks.



Larry Manuela



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Day 281, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part-6

                                                                     

In my last blog I finished of with the following:



Self-Reward:

Within this thread I have come to see/realize and understand about myself that I am using certain specific backchats as starting point to generate energy and to get me excited within and as my mind to eventually look for actual sex through either having sex with a woman or by masturbating, because through this, I as my mind consciouness system can aquire more energy through having an orgasm, for my existence as this mind consciousness system. Thus now that I have become more aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it, I can stop and change myself in the moment and do not participate in such backchats at all and eventually in the end where I won't participate in any backchat, because these are all illusions and delusional, and are not what is BEST for me nor for all of LIFE.



Now I'm moving to the next dimension which will be, the Reaction-dimension.


Reaction-Dimension:

*** There is this anxiety that maybe my kiss will not fall into her liking.

***  An reaction as/of anxiety of being caught starring at her legs.

***  An reaction as/of anxiety about my voice maybe not being found as sweet as I believe and think.


Self-Forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this anxiety within me existing, of maybe my kiss will not fall into her liking, within which I judge myself and also rely on another for what and how I want to express myself within and as a moment, separating myself completely from reality and sabotage myself to in the end up doubting myself if I should kiss her or not.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into the anxiety within me of maybe my kiss not falling in her liking, wherein I judge myself and also rely on this judgement of another for what and how I want to express myself in a moment, separating myself completely from reality and sabotage myself into doubt about kissing her or not kissing her, I STOP--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-florgiveness and also through my out loud speaking of self-forgiveness to eradicate this fear I have created within myself that obstruct myself in a moment of self-expression, making doubt myself and if this does not stop and it continues, I then go into investigating more thoroughly what it is I have missed within my self-forgivnesses that still give rise to the fear and that it still exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my self-expression and choose my fear that exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into judging my self-expression and choose instead the fear that exist within me as me as the mind as energy, I STOP---------------- I breathe, and I ground myself within and as my human physical body/form and focus on my breathing till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am choosing fear above/over self-expression, because I have made myself to do so all the time, I have brainwashed myself to always choose fear above/over self-expression and don't even know how to self-express, because I never lived it before. All I did before was reacting through the mind in certain/specific moments, events and circumstances to the consequences I myself created within/without myself together within the world outside where I participate in the collective consequence creations with the rest of what is here as human beings.

Therefore, I commit myself to little by little, step by step to teach myself to express myself as ME as the living body as this human physical body/form that I am in fact, as all of what it consists of and exists as, till I am one and equal with it in fact. And do this through self-introspection and self-investigation and forgiving myself for not living as my human physical body/form but instead live as personalities within my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anxiety of  being caught starring at her legs, which implicates to myself that I am having this anxiety, because of what I myself have accepted and allowed to be morally unacceptable and within this, secretly trying to watch anyways, and trying also at the same time not to get caught doing so, because the woman in fact may not approve of this.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into reaction of anxiety because I am aware of my own dishonesty within and as my mind to/towards her/woman, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am going into anxiety because I am aware of my own dishonesty within myself to/towards her/woman.

Therefore, I commit myself to work out this anxiety reaction within and as myself to/towards her/woman in relation to my own dishonesty, through my writing of Self-forgiveness and my commitment to life so I can not only stop participation within this reaction, but also delete it from within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anxiety because of myself thinking and believing that my voice will not be found sweet by another, within this jugding my own voice to be sweet and that a sweet voice should be something acceptable.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into reaction of anxiety because of what I think/believe my voice will found as by another, wherein I judge my own voice to be sweet  and that a sweet voice should be something acceptable, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am thinking/believing that my voice will not be found sweet by another and within this belief, I judge my own voice based on this self-created belief and then give what I perceive and interpret would be an " acceptable voice," more value then my actual/real voice itself.

Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life, to workout this reaction of anxiety to/towards my own voice as what I perceive/interpret another might find of it and make sure I focus on my breathing while communicating with others and when having that reaction coming up within me to immediately remind myself to stop the conversation and excuse myself for a moment and just do something in that moment that is a physical application that can be as simple as holding my two hands together or take a short walk away from the person and come back when I have stabilized myself within and as myself within and as my breathing, and my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be programmed to think/belief what a sweet voice should be or not be and use this self-manipulation to go against my own real physical voice that my physical body/form produces to put my perception/interpretation of what it should sound like and/or be like first and of more importance and value.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into my self-programming of what I think/belief a sweet voice should be or not be like and use this self-manipulation to go against my own real physical voice and find the self-manipulation voice having more importance and value, I STOP--------------I breathe, and focus on m,y breathing till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I Realize that I am using what I think/belief a sweet voice should be like, against my own real physical voice and give this belief more importance and value then my real voice itself.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to little by little to put more trust and importance within and as my own voice and stand within and as my own voice when I communicate/speak with another and make sure I stick to my breathing and focus on it so I do not loose myself within and as my mind with its judgement of my voice while in communication.




Self-Reward:



Within this Thread I have seen/realized and understood within and as myself that I am creating believes about my voice as how another will perceive and interpret it and based on this belief that in its own turn is also my own perception and interpretation put me in a position where I judge myself, sabotage myself and give the belief more importance and value from which I go through an reaction of anxiety to/towards myself in realtion to what I think/belief others may find about myself, and also within this when it comes to starring at women's legs I have placed a judgement within and as myself to be dishonest and unacceptable because I have set my own moral code and I then break it, thus react in anxiety for deliberately breaking my own moral-code of conduct. Thus now within all this I have given myself the opportunity to clean up this mess within and as myself till I will be free of these reactions to/towards myself and to/towards others as myself.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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Day 280, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part - 5

I move now to the Backchat-Dimension.


                               

                                           

Backchat-Dimension:


***  Hmm, if I can only hear that sweet voice in my ears right now

***  I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now

***  Wow, look at those wonderful legs and beautiful glow upon her skin


                                                 
                                                                   

Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: " hmm, if I can only hear that sweet voice in my ears right now," to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into having the backchat: " hmm, if I can only hear that sweet voice in my ears right now," I STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that this backchat I am using is specific to start my engine going, because through this backchat:" hmm, if I can only hear her voice in my ears right now," leads me into a future projection within my mind that is not here physically in a moment.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure through my self-forgiveness out loud in a moment or later on in wrtitten form to deal with this backchat the moment in comes up and make sure to use my own breath to stabilize myself and also do some physical task while focusing on my breathing to remind me that I am here, so I do not participate within the backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the backchat: " I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now," to exist within me as me as the mind consciousness system.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into this backchat: " I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now," I STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using this backchat: " I would give anything for a lovely passionate french kiss right now," because this backchat gives me the incentive to want to kiss a woman but, it is not happening in fact, and this " wanting to" is generate some positive energetic experience within and as my mind, to make me feel good about myself.

Thus, within this I commit myself to in the moment this backchat wants to come up or I am a little bit in it, to immediately remember to focus on my breathing and make sure I do something that requires a physical task so I can help myself to stay here within and as the physical, within and as my breath one and equal and to not give this backchat attention, just look at it without a direct participation but as something that I am just looking at that is passing by, but does not have an effect on me and just breathe. If the backchat continues then I know that there is some points I have missed within my self-forgiveness that more thorough indepth investigation and introspection and I then go about doing that till the point clear and released and and corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use "french kiss" within and as my backchat indicating the one thing that I like to do mostly with a woman to get myself and her excited and ready sexually, thus "french kiss" is the trigger point/starting point to commence the generation of necessary energy to built up till I get to the actual sex, that will lead to in the end, the highest of experience within myself of energy, which will be the orgasm itself as a mind orgasm using/abusing the body to get it from.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into using the "french kiss" starting point to commence generation of energy within myself that will lead to the utmost/highest energy consumation in the end, I STOP--------------- I breathe, and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using the words: " french kiss" within and as my mind consciousness system as a starting point for the generation of energy within and as my mind consciousness system that will get me excited to look for ways to engage into actual sex or masturbation just to reach an orgasm that wherein my mind consciousness system can consume much more energy in that moment of an orgasm and leave me with just a feeling good about myself, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am consuming the substance of my human physical body/form to be tranformed into energy for my feel good experience in my mind consciousness system.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life, to not only do introspection and investigation within and as myself within and as the words, " french kiss" but also to actually make sure I just stick to the fact of it, meaning, when it is actually happening and then only focus on the physical real feeling of it and not the energetic experience within and as my mind consciousness system and from there learn to express myself within and as french kissing.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the backchat: " wow, look at those wonderful legs and beautiful glow upon her skin," to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into the backchat: " wow, look at those wonderful legs and beautiful glow upon her skin," I STOP--------------- I breathe, slow myself down and bring myself here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using this backchat again to get myself starting the process within my mind consciousness system to generate energy that will lead me to in the end look for a way to get the ultimate energy experience itself as orgasm, looking for the physical act of sex either with a woman or through masturbation.

Therefore, I coomit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life and make sure I focus on my breathing and do something that requires physical application in order to remind myself that I am here within and as this physical reality, this physical world and this physical human body and not get lost within my mind that has nothing to do with what is actually here in every moment within and as this physical reality.



Self-Reward:

Within this thread I have come to see/realize and understand about myself that I am using certain specific backchats as starting point to generate energy and to get me excited within and as my mind to eventually look for actual sex through either having sex with a woman or by masturbating, because through this, I as my mind consciouness system can aquire more energy through having an orgasm, for my existence as this mind consciousness system. Thus now that I have become more aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it, I can stop and change myself in the moment and do not participate in such backchats at all and eventually in the end where I won't participate in any backchat, because these are all illusions and delusional, and are not what is BEST for me nor for all of LIFE.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela



Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

Day 279, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part - 4

Moving to the next dimension which will be the Imagination-Dimension.



                                                           

Imagination-Dimension:


***  Imagining myself being whispered by her in my ears and the sound of her voice making me excited

***  Imagining myself kissing her on the lips ever so gently and passionate

***  Imaging gazing at her body, letting my eyes wonder her wonderful body



Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself being whispered by her in my ears and the sound of her voice making me excited.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into imagining myself being whispered by her in my ears and the sound of her voice makes me excited, I STOP--------- I breathe and focus on my breathing till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I Realize that I am letting myself get excited through the sound of her voice as a whispered in my imagination and thus through my imagination prepare myself for when that will occur in real live event, I can then react within the same matter I react within my own imagination.

Therefore, I commit myself to little by little defuse myself through my application of self-introspection and self-investigation, through Self-forgiveness to not abuse sound but to teach myself how I can make myself express this in a real physical expression that is best for me and for all life, till the sounds that now excite me, become my expression and not something I can react to within and as my mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a voice of a woman in my head in order to use this as a reason for me to get excited in my mind.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into imagining a voice of a woman in my head in order to use this as a means to get myself excited in my mind, I STOP-------- I take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy

I realize that I am through imagination of a woman's voice letting myself get excited, when in the real physical reality there is nothing happening as physical real touch to my body itself in order for me to get excited physically and not in my mind.

Therefore I commit myself to not allow myself to imagine myself getting excited through a woman's voice, and just stick to my breathing and make sure that when something like that comes up to do some physical task or put it in writing so I don't go into participation of the imagination, and just breathe and do the task simultaneously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have programmed myself to think/belief that the sound is what is important when wanting to get excited and if there is no sound or very little sound it affects my excitement and in so doing also affect my desire to get physical support through sex.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into thinking and believing that the sound is what is important when wanting to get excited, I STOP----------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that without the sounds made during sex, I do not get excited and sex then is not enjoyable any longer, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am trying to get excited through/via the mind and not a real physical excitement, and use my human physical body to do so.

Thus within this, I commit myself to practice with making what is now excitement through/via the mind for the mind into excitement with the body for the body and learn within this to give myself patience, because I am aware that this is a construct I created within and as myself as my mind consciousness system that took a long time. And also to make sure I am sexually more stable within and as my body through practising through masturbation first before I go into having sex with a woman.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made myself addicted to sex with lots of sounds in it, either it being moans and/or very heavy breathing or screams of excitement, so I can have my energetic experience within and as my mind through/via my human physical body.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into this addiction of getting excited because of the sounds during sex, as moans, heavy breathing and screams, I STOP--------take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I have created myself to be addicted to specifically sounds during sex with a woman, thus when the woman is making sounds, and if it's not so, the excitement within me as a mind personality becomes less and less and at the same time the interest in the woman, like I in that moment in my mind immediately make the decision to have to start looking for a woman that do make sex sounds during sex, because the present one does not do so, and then within this search the one that I will find makes the best sounds in my ears will be the one I will stay longer with or as long as it takes.

Thus, within this I commit myself to investigate more thoroughly what sex sounds really means to me and how it is I have created myself to be so addicted to it through my  mind instead of making it and transforming it to support my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to sexual sounds, so much so that I have been focusing on that mostly, because it suits my Self-interest and within that I then help the woman I am with the get to an orgasm, and out of this I can then on my turn get my own orgasm, sometimes even without penetration, just because of the heavy excitement as feedback I get when she have orgasms with sounds.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into putting all my focus on the sexual sounds a woman makes to suit my self-interest so I can benefit from it too within and as my mind, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I have lead myself into this addiction of only being in heavy need of having to hear sexual sounds in order to reach an orgams and be satisfied sexually, without the sexual sounds, sex then turns into something boring.  I have programmed myself to respond within and as my mind when it comes to sex specifically on the sounds I will hear.

Thus, within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness to step by step, step out of this addiction I have created myself to be and become as the whom I am in this world, till I express me with and as the sound of life here as the physical, because I do see/realize and understand that the sound itself is of and as the physical it is the sound that body makes, it is not the sound recordings that exist within and as my mind, that m,y mind have copied/recorded. And within this I am then step by step teaching myself to move with the sounds I hear coming from others and keep it physical right here in the moment I am with a woman having sex and she is making sexual sounds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself kissing her on her lips ever so gently and passionate, making a complete movie about the whole imagination within and as my mind, in order to feel good about myself, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am in fact in that very moment of imagining all of this not in actuality doing all these things to her, but yet just because I get a positive energetic experience out of it, I let myself continue coloring the imagination up, giving it more allure, so I get more positive energetic experiences upsweeps.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into imagining kissing her lips ever so gently to get positive energetic experience from it, I STOP------------- I breathe and ground myself right here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I use this imagination of kissing her on her lips ever so gently as a start off point, to get the imagination itself rolling and then within this I can color it up and give it more and more allure and the more I do that, I notice an energy increase within the experience of the positive energy I go through.


Thus within this, I commit myself to when this imagination is to come up again to just not give it the attention and immediately switch to focus on my breathing and how the I physically breathe to calm myself down and be here and within this also make sure that I put my two hands together and rub them against each other or something in that faction in order to remind myself that I am here within and as this physical reality as this physical form.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself use the imagination of letting my eyes gaze her body and how I wonder her wonderful body just to make sure I generate energy within me to start the engine where I will go more deeply into the imagination and start to include body parts within the gazing of her body in my mind and the more I do this, the more excited I get within and as my mind, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am in fact deluding myself to separate myself from my human physical body in that moment by not being one and equal with and as it and just continue with the participation within and as my mind.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into imagining having my eyes gazing her wonderful body within and as my mind, I STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am again using my imagination to make myself excited within and as my mind to generate energy and the more energy I generate the more the imagination continues adding more and more to the imagination because that helps with the intensity of the energy experience, so the more sexual body parts I put into the imagination the more energy I get out of it all.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure deliberately not choose to participate in the imaginations when they pop up out of nowhere within and as my mind consciousness system and instead choose to pay attention and participate within and as my breathing one and equal till the imagination stops and then make sure I look for something physical to do in order to stick with being here within and as this physical reality and not loose myself within and as my mind reality. And if this continues I make sure to put more of it in writing till the point is resolved and is not a point anymore.



Self-Reward:


Within this thread I have seen/realized and understood about myself that I am using my imagination about women purely to generate more energy within and as myself, within and as my mind consciousness system, because I have let myself believe that without this energy, sex is not that excited anymore and I find it even boring, and within all this I only focus on the sounds during sex that a woman makes which give more impetus to have more and more sex with a woman and also decide to stay with her. So now that I am aware of this I can work on myself to change myself and invent creative ways to instead of using sexual sounds to generate energy, I use it to spread energy throughout my human phyiscal body, and this will take a step by step learning application, because I have made myself addicted to the sexual sounds a woman make so much so that I have to become my own clinical rehab centre and correct myself through writing of self-forgivenesses about sexual sounds as I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced and directed by them within the perception and interpretation of my mind consciousness system to generate energy within and as my human physical body to then afterwards be consumed by my mind consciousness system itself as enjoyment of the positive energetic experience I get from all of this.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela



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Day 278, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part - 3

                                                                               

                                                                           


                                       
Now moving to the next dimension, which is: Thought-Dimension.



Thought-Dimension:


*** picture of me being whispered in my ear 

*** picture of me kissing a woman on the lips

*** picture of her body being gazed upon by me





Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of me being whispered in my ear to get me excited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be more excited when hearing the sound and voice of a woman in my ears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become much more horny if I hear sounds of sex made by a woman, then her making no sounds at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have programmed myself to get excited when there is sex sounds to be heard.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I am focusing a lot on the sounds a woman makes during sex with her then focusing on being together with her itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that only when being with a woman and we are having sex, and she is making sex sounds, am I able to get more into the sexual act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if a woman is not making sex sounds during sex with her, that there must be something wrong with me, and that she probably is not as interested in me as I believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure my sexual action with a woman through the sex sounds she makes, and if there is little to no sounds, I loose interest in sex with her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that sound is the most valuable aspect of sex with a woman for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture in my mind of me kissing a woman ever so gently on her lips.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get very excited when I kiss a woman on the lips, where an energy builts up in my solar plexus and because of this giving me the impression that i have to kiss her more and intensely so, in order for the experience of the energy in my solar plexus can increase.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give the energy built up in my solar plexus more importance and value then the actual kissing of the physical touch of the lips coming together itself, they are only as important as what i can get from them when engaging in kissing a woman on her lips.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture within my mind of me gazing upon the body of a woman.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I need to have pictures within my mind about a woman I am with when she is not around in order for me to feel good about myself and generate energy within and as me as my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create within myself an addiction of shooting picture within my mind in order to generate energy for my mind and in this, not making sure that I just remain here in my breath within and as my human physical body not having the necessity to rely on pictures in my mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that having pictures of a woman or women in my mind give me a reason to exist as in having something to do, when in actuality I am in fact not doing anything, I am just lost within the pictures within my mind.



Self-Commitement statements:


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into having picture of being whispered in my ear by a woman, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and ground myself, bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using this picutre of being whispered into my ear by a woman, because it makes me excited.

Therefore, I commit myself to when such moments arrive to make sure I remind myself to put my focus on my breathing by grounding myself and also making sure that in conjunction with this breathing to do a physical task so the bringing of myself back here is more assured and physically directed.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into becoming more excited by hearing the sound and the voice of a woman in my ears, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I get more excited when i hear the sound and voice of a woman in my ears, because i have programmed myself to be more reactive to the sounds itself with a woman during sex or just before sex.


Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to not react to sounds during or before sex, but to move with and as the sounds when I am with a woman, as part of the whole sexual intercourse that is going on, and if I do continue getting excited because of the sounds, I ask the woman I am with to give me a moment to take some breaths to stop participation within the getting excited based on the sounds I am hearing and when I see that I am clear we can proceed again with the support of each other through sex.

When and as I see myself going into or i am about to go into thinking and believing that if a woman does not make sexual sounds, that there must be something wrong with me, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that because I have programmed myself that I must hear sexual sounds made by a woman during sex with her when I am touching her, and if this does not happen then there is something wrong with me within my touch, that I am not good enough.

Thus, within this I commit myself to when I am in the act of having sex with a woman to focus on the physical movements of my body and her body and just be totally here in the moment, either there will be sounds or no sounds to just focus on the totality of the whole physical experience of having sex with each other, and if a something comes up within me as energy because I react to the sounds, I just take a break within the act of having sex with the woman for a moment and ask her to wait for a moment and I then clear myself through self-forgiveness from this energy that comes up with me as a thought and wait till i am grounded in breath, to then proceed.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into becoming more horny, because of the sounds of sex made by a woman, then little to no sound, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I get more horny when i hear sexual sounds made by a woman then little to no sound, because I have programmed myself to react on the sounds woman make when having sex with them and making this as THE most important thing for me.


Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to make sure I step by step de-program myself and then create myself to be fully as myself as all that I am in a moment of having sex with a woman and express myself as such and not react to sounds or little to no sounds a woman makes.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into looking for ways to focus more on the sounds made by the woman when having sex with her to get more into the sexual action itself, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am letting myself get used by my own addiction to sounds a woman makes when having sex with her, so i can get more into the sexual action itself as if need the sounds to make the sex worth while.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life to dedicate and teach myself to make sex an expression instead of trying to use the sounds a woman make to make sex worthwhile, and making a mockery of sex, by making it into something that is or worth doing or not, when it is to express and in the expression support and assist my own body together with the body of the woman also.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into making up a picture within my mind kissing the lips of a woman ever so gently, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I make picture of kissing the lips of a woman ever so gently, because this is the way i can get into my groove as preparation to the actual thing, without seeing/realizing and understanding that the picture I make up within my mind is not actual reality and actual reality will always not match with how i pictured it within my mind.


Therefore, i commit myself to focus on my breath when i am a woman and also when i am aware that i am going to be with a woman, and just do not participate into making up pictures of kissing her within mind, and justwait till the moment is here and if i want to kiss her i just ask so and if it is a "yes" i then kiss her, thus making it a practical real kiss without the stimulation of having to make up a picture of kissing her beforehand.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into getting excited when kissing a woman and geenrating energy within my solar plexus, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me the mind as energy.


I realize that I am letting myself get excited through a kiss for the purpose of generating energy within and as my solar plexus and to intesify the kiss more to also intensify the energy generation more.


Thus, whithin this I commit myself to stop participation in using a kiss to generate energy for the purpose of experiencing energy within my solar plexus and instead kiss her as an expression of myself as how I want to express myself within and as myself within my lips touching her lips.

When and as I see myself going into or i am about to go into giving the energy I experience in my solar plexus more importance and value then the actual kiss itself, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am giving the energy experience in my solar plexus more importance and value then the kiss itself, because I can get more energy this way.


Therefore, I commit myself to give actual value to the kiss itself and not to the energy till I clear this point and if it continues I work it out through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life till the point is cleared.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into using picture of a woman i am with without her physically being here to feel good about myself and generate energy within my mind consciousness system, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I am using picture of woman I am with to feel good about myself and generate more energy within my mind consciousness system.

Therefore, I commit myself to stop participation into making pictures of woman I am with within my mind when she is not around in the flesh and focus on how to physically/practically to approach her and express myself together with her when the moment is actually here and that is it.

When and as I see myself shooting pictures within my mind to feed my addiction to energy, I STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realilze that I am shooting picture in my mind, to keep my addiction to energy as my mind intact, and thus relying on them.

Thus, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to little by little and step by step to clearing my addiction and make sure that I focus on physical tasks so i do not participate within my mind fueling the addiction, till I am no more addicted nor creating addiction within me.

When and as i see myself going into or I am about to go into having picture of a woman or women to make me feel as if I don't have them I don't exist or have nothing to do, I STOP--------- take a deep breath till I 
am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that I am lost within the pictures in my own mind and thinking and believing that by having these pictures I am doing something, when in actuality I am not.


Therefore, I commit myself to make sure that i actually DO something as in the form of moving myself to express myself with a woman in the moment of being with her and let the expression in the moment be just that, and not looking for having a reason to express either.



Self-Reward:

Within this writing I have seen/realized and understood that I am using lots of pictures of woman or women within my mind to generate energy for my mind and because of this not actually expressing myself here in the physical when with a woman for real, but focus on how I experience the energy within me when with her. Thus now I am aware that I just have to teach myself to express myself in the real physical world with a woman and not rely on pictures in my mind to just react and in this supporting me and also the woman.



Thanks


Larry Manuela


Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG