Day 62, I Miss You.

I miss your cuddling.

I miss your hugs.

I miss your kisses.

I miss your touch.

I miss your smell.

I miss your warm body.

I miss your soft skin.

I miss talking to you.

I miss your cooking.

I miss your laughter.

 

 

 

Now basically when i was saying this to the woman i was with,i used all of these but meant one thing only beneath it all, and yes, you already guess:'' SEX.'' So when she is back home all those lovely words she will play them out and give me the thing i was really longing for when she was not present. It was just to built the energy up within her and letting her thinking and thinking about me, till she gets home and have to let all that energy built up go, and i will be happy man then.

So the point here is that i was not missing the person herself but what I was used to get from her, which is basically: '' SEX ''   Her being there for me to have sex with. That is all that is behind all of these other words i use as in trying to make her belief/think that i miss her company and all the stuff woman in most cases see as important in a relationship. Now woman are always more deeply into this whole relationship thing, the serious one i mean. Mostly women are the ones whom want to be serious within a relationship. We as man is more about of course the SEX you are going to have within the relationship with the particular woman you will be with. Even though the woman also want SEX of course but see the relationship point with ONE man as the utmost importance, when men don't really care that much about serious relationships, as i have been saying in many of my blogs already....lolll   We don't really like this whole binding ourselves to ONE woman, because we want MORE then just one, it is for us like we have been sentenced to jail.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the words: ''i miss you'' purely for the purpose of wanting to have sex again when the woman i was with was not there in that particular moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate the woman based on what i knew they would like to hear, in order for me to get what i would like to experience which is SEX.

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use an emotion that i knew will stir things up within the woman so i can keep the scoring rate high with her, and within this getting my energetic fix.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge within me that because of me wanting sex, i will be successful in getting it, if i can use some words that have emotional charge to them, so the woman will feel all fuzzy inside and give me what i was really after, which is SEX.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never really meant what i was saying, to never really stood for what i was saying and walked it in a way that is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link/connect the words '' i miss you'' to SEX.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even link/connect the words ''i miss you'' to my judgements to/towards others as me.Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the women i was with as emotional beings that will fall for anything emotional.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself into believing my own lies, and in this sabotaging others as myself in also falling for my own belief in my own lie, render both participant to live together in a relationship built on the foundation of lies.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use lies in order to experience physicality that is real in the form of physical real SEX.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand in using such words or play of words i was creating an illusion within myself and in the world at large to try to take the place of what is real as the physical as in this the act of sex itself which is a physical action, and render the physical action of sex and my physical body as slaves to my feelings as illusions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand how i was contributing to the whole game of seduction in order to be physical as in believing/thinking that in order to get physical: ''having sex'' i need to seduce the woman, instead of just asking. In this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see in ''just asking'' as to simple and meaningless and in seducing as more playful and a nice way of getting to have sex, which in essence means: ''manipulation.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to rely on manipulation to get something as SEX, when all i really need doing was just asking and if it was a ''no'' let it be ''no'' and if it is a ''yes'' let it be ''yes.''

I commit myself to show through my writings of self-forgiveness and my commitments to show how i as one of the men in this world really think/belief about relationships and how we act within them, especially within romantic ones, so for those woman and man whom are still without the real practical information can get a glimpse before they engage themselves into believing all these lies and let themselves fall into the trap and get hurt.

I commit myself to show in my writings the dark secrets of me as one of the men in this world whom loved manipulating woman into getting what i wanted which is sex, so all may learn from it and we can stop ourselves together in these delusions of grandeur, and start to really live with each other as beings that truly respect themselves and each other as life for real practically.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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