Day 331, Very Naughty Children?? Part 2

I am now continuing with more self-forgiveness statements in regards to what I wrote yesterday in my blog.
I will place here the link and also beneath it a few lines of where I left off.

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/09/day-330-very-naughty-children.html






                                                               





" I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be very angry at people whom want to give me an advise that has to do with a future projection of positivity and telling me not to worry because everything is going to be alright, when I am aware that without me taking my responsibility to/towards my children and all children in this world and to do whatever it takes to make sure that the possibility exists that they will come to the realization for themselves that they have to choose life above anything and anyone else, would be a living  reality.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have memories of me being with my children and sometimes when they do not listen to me, that I have to raise my voice to go above their voice in order for them to then be quiet and listen to me.



                                                                          

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I can do this." 


More self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself that they have become like this because it was me whom made the decision to leave them with the mother behind when I found out the mother cheated on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the mother for doing something whereof I had to made the decision to leave her and children behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always have doubts within myself about leaving them behind with the mother, if I had made the best decision, since I cannot trust the mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to because I cannot trust myself I project it on the mother, thus I see untrustworthiness within her instead of seeing solutions that denote responsibility within myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I also have some points within me that cannot be trusted or are not trustworthy, but yet seeing the point within another has more impetus then seeing it within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be a point of support and assistance within solutions that would have been best for all involved in the past in regards to me leaving my children with my ex. behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the situation about my children as hopeless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I cannot solve this problem and look for ways to not have to deal with it and yet also having mix feelings about it, because I am aware that I am responsible for them no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not pay attention to my children well, and blame it on the distance between us, as they are in another country far away from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a form a releaf because they are away from me where I can be myself without the direct relationship and responsibility in practical matters and   direct physical support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take the responsibility to my children and sometimes deliberately avoid to having to find myself in a situation with them where I would have to face myself having to take my self-responsibility towards myself and also towards them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to deal with having to fix what is done already, within this implying; that I am giving up on life as it exists within and as myself and within and as my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat within me as: " I don't want to deal with all this shit right now on top of all the shit I am already in," to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my responbsibility for my children through my mind as a shitty thing to deal with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see dealing with the problems my children are going through as shitty, because in my mind I am avoiding taking my responsibility to come up with the best possible solution that could be best for all involved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take my self-responsibility because I am aware that I then have to give up the life I have as living on my own away in order to have them with me.


I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to sharte my life with my children as I have programmed myself into a comfortable wasy of living being on my own without anyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up my life alone for that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to take responsibility and then afterwards fail and find myself into more trouble doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find excuses for not wanting to take my self-responsibility to/towards life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just because of avoiding trouble I decide to not take my self-responsibility and in doing so, I then use "avoiding trouble" as an escapegoat in order to keep on being irresponsible to/towards myself as life and others as myself as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pospone responsibility to/towards myself and others as myself because of fearing having to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear responsibility, because it implies commitment, and I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself not commiting myself to anything or anyone, thus therefore avoiding responsibility to myself and others as myself as life here as one as equal as all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always wanted to commit myself but then again in the middle of the commitment when things are seemingly not working out as expected them to work out I start to look for ways to leave or find an excuse to leave or making it possible for the other to find an excuse to put out of the relationship with them, because in that matter I have then made it possible for me to not have to take my self-responsibility to/towards life.


To be continued.......................


Thanks.


Larry Manuela

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