Here is a few sentences of where I left of:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spent lots of time on the internet chasing my sexual desire, abdicating my responsibility to myself and to all of life as equal as one as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly and deliberately let my guard down so to speak in order to procrastinate more and more, and finding ways to come up with excuses and justification to protect my procrastination.
More will follow into the next blog........
Self-forgivenesses continuation:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly be thinking about sex, that it is constantly in the background looking for ways to come up and delude myself into believing that I need to satisfy myself in accordance to what I have made valuable to me, based on my self-interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience exhilaration when I find some lady on the internet that is extremely horny, because in accordance with my judgement of myself, this is also who I see myself as, as equal to, thus finding someone that I think and believe is what I think and believe I am, makes the whole experience and moment seem much more interesting and desirable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and stop myself in the moment I start to see that I am going to go into this whole situation, however I keep on letting myself fall into my own trap, and then justify to myself saying to myself: " just one more last time, and then we can get to really working myself out," when in reality I never get to working myself out, because I keep on repeating this " one more time" every time, almost daily.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to put my process at an halt just in order to be able to satisfy my self-interest in relation to my virtual sex addiction.
I forgive myelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to put all, if not more of my focus on online young ladies in oder to satify my self interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that having virtual sexual acts with young ladies online give me some sense of still being sexually attractive and appealing to young ladies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become astute within manipulating young ladies in order to get my self-interested, self-indulgence met.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give up looking for a opening, a way to get into their minds and see where I can effectively convince them to the participation that will have an outcome that will satisfy my sexual desire.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still feel that I am too weak to actually do this STOPPING of myself in my participation within my self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take this point of getting my sexual desire met, so extremely effective that I would spent money that I could instead spent, or direct to outcomes that would be best for all LIFE, however rather use it to manipulate the ladies of my choice so I can have an positive outcome according to my addiction.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to workout this point of sexual addiction I have become, because I do not trust myself enough, that I can stop myself and change myself through my self-will, to do that which is best for all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made countless sexual accounts on virtual sexual related websites, where like-minded people come together to share themselves in their addiction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that one day, all the pictures and vidoes that were hacked by hackers will be used against me to measure my integrity as who I am here if I dare to stand for life, making myself abdicating my Responsibility and make me halt my process in midways.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear if others would find out about my addiction I have about sex, especially those that " know" me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being shamed for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as a sexual addict, constantly looking for orgasmic mind pleasure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a seeker and experiencer of orgasmic mind pleasure, one that would do anything to get that experience, that high.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let this entity I created within myself to rule over my decision making, making sure I always end up, choosing what would not be best for myself, nor what would be best for all life, because I have something to hide, something that I secretively hide, something I am too scared to face, as my addiction, that is actually making me the convict of my conviction.
To be continued..........................
Thanks
Larry Manuela
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