Day 12, Taking To Much Of Myself To Others.

In this blog i am going to write self-forgiveness about how many times i give to much of myself away just because, of a pattern i have of ''being a good person.''  Within this i am abdicating my responsibility to/towards myself and also to/towards others, meaning; ' i take their consequences on myself and in this not letting them go through their own consequences so they may see/realize/understand what they are creating, and that it has consequences.'


Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be nice and good to people just because i myself fear the shame/regret/embarrassment/pain they have to go through if they were to face their own consequences, so i take it away from them before the consequence arrives, so they don't have to go through it themselves, just because i see how i would fear going through it myself and then being shameful/embarrassed/regretful and in pain.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be governed by my own patterns as what i have accepted and allowed myself, as i have been raised to be a '' good person'' and a '' good person'' should be one whom does not let people go through pain and embarrassment and regret and shame.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed such patterns to come up within me and most of the time follow them,just because i fear the person going through the consequences as i would fear myself going through the consequences.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern within me that take responsibility for me instead of myself being the directive principle and in such i accept and allow a system within me as programs of my mind to direct me.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to say ''no'' when i know i should say ''no''.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to say ''yes'' when i know i should say ''yes''.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be nice to people just because i don't want to hurt them if i were to tell them the things as they really are, tell it as it is..!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own self-responsibility within me being a nice person and in this manner at the same time abdicate my responsibility to/towards the world outside.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a fear within me to tell it as it is.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my own fear within to/towards others as me, instead of me being the directive principle and breathe, and from there express myself in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how i could by not being straightforward have an outflow of circumstances that postpone myself and someone else to go through their own consequences and in so doing support the compounding and accumulation of what it is that needs to be faced, that they have accepted and allowed to be as part of themselves.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be reacting to sayings like: '' you are such a good person'' '' you are an angel'' '' you are sweet'' '' you are well mannered'' ''you are a very clean person'' to be existing within me as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ''feel good'' when they say these sentences to me, like: '' you are such a good person'' '' you are an angel'' '' you are sweet'' '' you are well mannered'' '' you are a very clean person''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect sentences like: '' you are such a good person'' '' you are an angel'' '' you are sweet'' '' you are well mannered'' '' you are a very clean person'' to a feeling that is good.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be talked into believing that i need validation of these people for me to be the so-called: '' good person'' when all that i am really doing is postponing their own consequences, which they as myself fear to go through.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to brainwash myself into believing that by being a ''good person'' alone in this world will at least ease a lot of the problems that we have accepted and allowed to be here as our self-created experiences, without seeing/realizing/understanding that by doing this i am in fact contributing to the problem, because i am avoiding the problem, trying to shovel it away by being nice, instead of exposing the problems as they are, and direct myself into stopping participation in them.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes not look into the eyes of others just because i fear them fearing me, when i look with my penetrating eyes and that they will find out for themselves that in the way i look at them, that i know what it is they did and what it is they meant.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own way of looking to people which is very penetrating and choose always to not do so, and instead turn my eyes away, so the other doesn't have to ''feel'' like i am looking to deep and may find some secrets they don't want to share running in their secret mind.




I commit myself to always to be direct in the best possible way as to support and assist others to go through their own consequences, and not abdicate my responsibility and also make room for accumulation and compounding of consequences that may become more in their future.


I commit myself to always expose all and everything that is not for what is best for all life, and stand my ground no matter what the consequences, because i know i acted from the starting point of that which is best for all.


I commit myself to always look straight into the eyes of people even when they will feel uncomfortable, because of the way i look into their eyes that is penetrating.


I commit myself to not abdicate my responsibility to/towards my own life and all life.




I commit myself to not be reactive to/towards sentences that make me feel good, but instead just breathe and stand my ground and express myself one and equal in and as breath.




Thanks.




Larry Manuela






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