Day 314, Who am I in relationship with the word:" money." Part 3

I am continuing with the more self-forgivenesses in this blog related the blog of day 311

In the second part from that one blog, I finished at the following self-forgiveness statement:

" I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto other people my own self-accepted beliefs/ideas/opinions about morality and ethics of treating me as if I don't have money myself to buy own thing, thus that I belief that the person is seeing me as being less fortunate then themselves, thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat other people because I belief within myself that they are less fortunate then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality within and as myself where I think/belief that I have to go somewhere where a fee is being charged, because I think/belief based on my upbringing that not giving any money is in reality abusing others and profiting from others."

Now with the next self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I do not have money to stay inside the house and avoid coming in contact with other people, because I fear a point where I might be in a position of having to use money, when I don't have it can come up, and so to not go into the embarrassment of all that, I rather stay at home all by myself and avoid as much as possible people contacting me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to avoid answering phone calls, because I fear that the people calling, especially if they are family members and friends, that they might ask to see me or want to invite me to come when all of these are points that will cost money, because maybe at home I don't have much to go by and thus if they come to visit, I will not have something to give/offer them, like a drink or something. Thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of letting someone I know see my situation I am in that is financially not stable and good at all, thus I avoid the contact with all these people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to receive the help from people that know me or are in my immediate circle, just because I fear they might tell everyone else about my situation of not having money and that they even had to help me. Thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my own projection on other people as myself of believing that they might tell everyone else. Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also tell other people close to me if I had helped someone that needed my help, thus because I have done this myself and I am now in the situation where I am the one that can be talked about to other people I judge and project my judgment to/towards those who want to help me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to more easily accept help from an organisation or some other governmental institute because I see the people working there as strangers and that they are just doing their work and they don't really know me, thus that I am just another person and they have no close connection to me or any care to/towards me and thus I do not have to fear being embarrassed and ashamed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to allow myself to get into a negative energetic experience as emotion, known as sadness, where I just sit there and contemplate on me not having money and feeling sorry for myself not having money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to get into the experience of thinking and believing that life is hard when in reality I have made myself belief that about life being hard as a manifestation into my life, when in reality it is me allowing myself to follow my believes/ideas/opinions about life, and not seeing/realizing and understanding that it is the survival part I have taken to hardship as how I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within my life and this world, where survival is being interpreted as life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stressed about not having money when I don't have money, because I have already the experiences of myself and others as myself when having money not being stressed or experiencing any stress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money not being interested in doing anything neither for myself nor for others as myself, because I have accepted and allowed myself to only move myself wheh I have money, thus that having money directs me instead of me directing me and in so doing directing my money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to be around or with people that do have money, because I fear that the possibility may exist that I might be having to buy something and then I will be in trouble because I don't have money, and thus be ashamed in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only question the existence of money more when I don't have money, because it is in that moment that all the practical points of not having money and having to live in a situation of not having money or very little money will press, thus making me react to not having money. Thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based my questioning of the existence of money on a reaction to/towards money, thus meaning; I will only question something when I have a reaction to/towards it and within this not standing within and as the point itself and questioning it from the perspective of common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to have lots of fantasies envolving me winning great money-prizes, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am in fact letting myself be sabotaged to move myself and find practical solutions that are realistic within my reality to my money problem.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money, to only then really pay attention to prices of products and services and see then that they are expensive, just because I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have money I just buy stuff without really paying attention to the prices just because I have the money in that moment and I feel like I have a lot of money, when I am aware that I am not a rich man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to see/interpret and perceive the days to feel longer, because I don't move myself and do something that is practical, I just sit there and don't do nothing but thinking about not having money and how I am going to get money now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to not take good care of my human physical body, because I then try to avoid spending money on food and stuff like that or avoid spending money on things that may make things worst in the very near future.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to belief that I am bumping into people that also don't have money or have little money, without seeing/realizing and understanding that most people are now in financial difficulty, but yet I made of the situation a point of finding a way to justify me not having money and finding a way of avoiding myself feeling alone all by myself having similar problems as the others as myself, thus by sharing our problems with each other I feel a sense of  belonging to the group and I am not so alone within the problem of not having money or having not enough money.





More will come in the next post.................................



Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

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Day 313, The desteni of living - My declaration principle.

The Desteni of Living

1. Realising and living my utmost potential
2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all
3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa
4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others
5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others
6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well
7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others
8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own
9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me
10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have
shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what is means to LIVE
11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone
12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today
13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves
14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one
15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.
16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come
17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth
18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in
our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.
19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath
20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me
21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without
22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth.


                    ===============================


In future posts to come , I will be walking each principle as how I live them, and how I practically corrected myself and changed and is still in the process of correcting myself as I go along applying the principles.

Day 312, Who am I in relationship with the word: " Money." Part 2

So now i am continuing with the Self-forgiveness statements and Self-commitment statements:



I left in my previous blog the following in writing:


" I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself the power to be based on assumptions and believes about money, and due to this create a whole personality around money and how I am going to be dealing with money in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more credit on what men do with money than what women do with money, just because I believe that I am a man and man thus stick together in what they do as man especially in close circles of family." 




The continuation of the Self-forgiveness statements & Self-Commitment statements:





                                                                  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that the way to live with money, and using money is to spent it like the men in my family is/was spending it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the women in my family as how they live and treated money as something that is not fun to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that the way the men in my family is/was treating money is much more fun and what should be lived by all that do have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to be more generous when I have money, just because when I have money in a world where money has become life, I am in my mind expressing and giving life and thus doing something that is "good/positive," when in reality I am just showing off and see myself as having more then others thus, using it to feel good about myself or better about myself in comparison to others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for things I can spent money on when I have money, because in my mind I believe I am contributing to the economy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy things without really paying that much attention to the prices, because as long as I can see that I can afford in that moment I will brush the awareness off of myself as seeing that I am creating a consequence for myself in the future where I will be without money that I will be needing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to donate a lot of money to charity foundations and found it a challenge to say no, just because I judge the donations to charities as something "good."


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat others that are with the individual I am personally going to treat, because I see it as something not nice to do, to treat only one person when they are all together, because I see it as excluding the others as less valuable to also receive a treat from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat myself mostly with foods that I like, like ordering foods of restaurants, and going out for a walk and go to places where food is being sold so I can spent money on food or just go into the supermarkets and look for foods I would normally not buy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself as more communicative when I have money in comparison when I don't have money, because I experience myself as more freely expressing myself with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have money I get myself into a mood where I will be interested in wanting to buy that thing I always wanted to buy, just because I have the money to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have money to be happy and sorround myself with people that are fun to be with, because I believe that when I have money I can be fun, without seeing/realizing and understanding that fun have nothing to do with money, but in how I express myself fully physically in a moment and thus within this I also exclude people, as people that are fun to be with versus people that are not fun to be with, thus creating and supporting the status quo as what the system that I participate within and as is paved for me through my participation in it and also with the participation of all humanity equally.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that when I have money I can do anything, because everything that is as/of an example in this world where people are in positions of doing lots of things that seem impossible, money is behind it, in some form or another.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be more understanbable when I have money, because when I have money it appears as if I have time to actually listen to someone and can dedicate more time to them, because money buys me time to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that when I have money, I have a better reason to care for others, because I have the money to back me up, I rely on the money in my pocket to prove the act, to use it as a proof to myself and others that I care through and via money, when in reality it is not true/real care, because the care is not my own movement, it is a movement based on having money, thus money is then the directive principle and not me, thus I did not move myself or direct myself to care for another as I would care for myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I go out with someone and I invited them, I must be the one that pays for everything because of the simple fact that I invited them, and also even when they invited me I also look for ways to pay at least most of the things, because I see my paying for most of the things as being a thankful gesture to the one that asked me out, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am playing out a pattern that I have seen within and as the examples I have gathered through/via the men that are/were in my family and because it feels good to do it, I belief that it must also be a "good thing," when in reality I am sabotaging my own survival putting myself into financial difficulties when it is totally unnecessary and abusive to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when someone else insist to pay for me, especially when I have money to pay for whatever it might be myself, because I have created myself to not feel good about others paying for things for me, I experience it and project this experience as if I am profiting from the other person, which through my examples within my family is something that has been labled as something "bad," and dishonest, thus within myself I experience a friction as I feel like I am going against my will, going against my morals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto other people my own self-accepted beliefs/ideas/opinions about morality and ethics of treating me as if I don't have money myself to buy my own thing, thus that I belief that the person is seeing me as being less fortunate then themselves, thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy a treat to/for other people because I belief within myself that they are less fortunate then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality within and as myself where I think/belief that I have to go somewhere where a fee is being charged, because I think/belief based on my upbringing that not giving any money is in reality abusing others and profiting from others.




Thanks.



To be continued............................................




Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

Day 311, Who am I in relationship with the word: " Money." Part 23

So now continuing with the next word, which is going to be:  " money."

So here is the definition of money as we know it from the Merriam- webster website:

¹mon·ey

 noun, often attributive \ˈmə-nē\

: something (such as coins or bills) used as a way to pay for goods and services and to pay people for their work

: a person's wealth : the money that a person has

monies : amounts of money

plural moneys or mon·ies 

Full Definition of MONEY

1

:  something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment: as

a :  officially coined or stamped metal currency

b :  money of account

c :  paper money

2

a :  wealth reckoned in terms of money

b :  an amount of money

c plural :  sums of money :  funds

3

:  a form or denomination of coin or paper money

4

a :  the first, second, and third place winners (as in a horse or dog race) —usually used in the phrases in the money orout of the money

b :  prize money <his horse took third money>

5

a :  persons or interests possessing or controlling great wealth

b :  a position of wealth <born into money>

=============================================================

So now within this I am going to walk the point of not only what money means to me, but also how I have created myself to be controlled by the situation I place myself into in relation to how I use money or not use money.

I have to bring a little story here into perspective. I was brought up into a family that would be considered middle class in this world system.

The example I have gotten from my parents in relation to money and also from other people close to me like my grandparents on my mother's side have shaped the way I view money and also how I use money and how I carry myself when I have money or don't have money.

So from my father I got the example of money being something to spent on the people you care about when you have it.

From my mother I got the example that I have chosen not to follow by the way, that money is important to pay the expenses and also the importance of saving money for the rainy days.

From my grandfather from my mother's side I got the example of again money being something to spent when you have it and make people around you happy doing this, and the people around you can be family members, or friends or sometimes people one doesn't even know. 

From my uncle of my father's side I got the example that money can be used to give people gifts, when one have it, and be very easy with spending it without having the fear of being without it when one is spending it.

From my grandmother, from my mother's side, I got the example and once more, did not use this example that money is important to pay the expenses and to also safe an amount for the rainy days.

So as I look at all this I can see that I have chosen to follow the examples of the MEN within my family and all the men I have chosen to follow their examples are/were people that treated money as if they didn't care about it, like it is something to spent and make themselves happy spending it and also making other people happy by sharing their money with them in whatever form that sharing may come.

Now thus within my life, I have taken this example as valid and created within myself a repulsion against money, and from there always treating money when I do get it as not something that is important and due to this not paying attention to my survival, and I litterally specifically mean: "my survival," because there were many times where I would give money to people that I see are more in need of it then me, meanwhile my need I push aside and believe that it won't matter, because when the situation where I will be in trouble arrives I will deal with it then. But then again when I do get into the situation that I will be dealing with, the situation will have many many dimension I did not take into consideration and then will be stressed within myself as in how I am going to solve the particular problem that presents itself.

Thus when I do have money I am like the following:

*  I am more generous to/with people
*  I look for things to spent the money on that I see that will be a good thing

*  I buy things and don't worry about the prices that much, I only see if in that               moment I  will be able to afford it or not, the future consequences I brush them         of.

*  I donate a lot of my money on lots of charity foundations, and it is a challenge          for me  to say NO.

*  If I am treating someone and that someone is with some other people, I treat           them all, not just the one I know.

*  When I have money I treat myself mostly with buying foods that I like.

*  When I have money I am more communicative and have lots to say.

*  When I have money suddenly I have the interest to buy that thing I wanted for          so  long.  

*  When I have money I am happy and have lots of fun and soround myself with fun      people to.

*  When I have money I get the experience within myself that I can do anything           and  nothing is impossible, and I am not even rich......lol

*  When I have money I am more understandable then usual.

*  When I have money I believe I then have a better reason to care because I can       show for it, meaning I can back it up with money.

*  If I go out with someone and I have money, I believe that I must be the one that     have to pay for everything, because I invited them, and even if they invited me,       still I will look for ways to pay for most of the things, because I see it as a way to     be thankful for inviting me to spent time with them.

*  When I have money and someone else insist that they are going to pay for               whatever we are buying in that moment I feel guilty that I let them pay when I         have money in my pocket too.

*  When I have money I don't like people treating as if I don't have money myself.

*  When I have money I like going to places that will cost money and are not free,       they don't have to be expensive, but they do have to cost money.

And now moving to the point when I do NOT have money, the following happens:

* When I don't have money I try as much as I can to stay inside the house and             keep on avoiding people contacting me.

* When I don't have money I don't answer phone calls that easy, especially if it is       someone I know, because I fear them inviting me to go somewhere.

* When I don't have money, I don't like being helped with money by someone that      easy, if it is something that is system based, like a social service system, I don't      worry about it,    because I don't see it as a personal point, the system I                    experience it as outside my immediate personal life.

* When I don't have money I am sad most of the time.

* When I don't have money my life seem a challenge and is hard.

* When I don't have money I am stressed about not having money.

* When I don't have money I am not interested in doing anything, neither for                myself or  others as myself.

* When I don't have money I don't like being in circle of people that do have money    in  that moment, because the fear exists within me that the point may come up        that I am  going to have to pay for something, when I know I am without money.

* When I don't have money I question the existence of money more.

* When I don't have money I have lots of fantasies and imaginations of winning a        great prize of money.

* When I don't have money suddenly I noticed that things are expensive.

* When I don't have money I experience the days as taking a very long time to            pass by.

* When I don't have money I take less care of my body, like eating less, drinking        less and sleeping more and sitting more and walking less and going out for a              walk less.....so all physical applications I avoid.

* when I don't have money I seem to bump into people that also don't have money    more then often and we can share our story of not having money with each other.

===============================================

So these are the points I face when I have money and when I don't have money. 

Self-forgiveness statements & Self-commitment statement:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see money as representing the real wealth and only see money as being the wealth itself, that which is needed to be wealthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question money in itself when I heard of money for the first time in my life. 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take the example of my mother and my grandmother and have chosen to take the examples of the men within my immediate family to use later in my personal life in relation to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see less value in the example of my mother and my grandmother, in the way they were/are dealing with money and more value in the example of  the men in my family, their way of dealing with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go for the example the men in my family was showing me, because in my eyes it looked as a fun way to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself the power to be based on assumptions and believes about money, and due to this create a whole personality around money and how I am going to be dealing with money in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more credit on what men do with money than what women do with money, just because I believe that I am a man and man thus stick together in what they do as man especially in close circles of family.

Will be continued..............................

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

                                                              

                                                                                                                                                                    

                                              

Day 310, When looking for validation started in my life. Part 3

So now continuing with the next phase.

I am going to walk the Self-Commitments in this blog related to Part 1+ Part 2 blogs about this validation point.




                                                                   

                                                              Art done by: Kelly Posey.



Self-Commitment statements:


I see/realize and understand that with my decision to end my soccer game that I had a passion and dedication for/to, I within that, also ended everything else within me when I will be participating in them, because I have programmed myself to not be passionate and dedicated anymore after I have left the game of soccer that I truly loved.

Therefore, I commit myself to make the decision to stand within and as myself to find out in other areas where I can develop my passion and dedication and stand firm within and as it, just like I did when I was playing soccer, and not sabotage myself to give up on something when I did not even start with it, trying it out to see if I can be effective within it or not and through this make it  be/ become a passionate application that have my full dedication.

I see/realize and understand that I created within myself a defeated mechanism that will support my mind consciousness system in giving up on myself and make myself believe that I was defeated somehow.

Thus within this I commit myself to let go of this defeated mechanism everytime that comes up within me as me and make sure I take long breaths before I continue doing what I am doing or about to go do what I would be about to do and remind myself that it is just a fear of being defeated that I created myself in order to not do something and expand myself and see for myself if I can do it or not, and that it will be something I like to do or not.

I see/realize and understand that feeling proud about my uncle being a soccer-coach boosts my ego, just because through/via him, because he is my family I can also be in the spotlight, thus be known.

Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life in self-honesty to make sure I work out this point of proudness, because I see that it is a ego point and is self-dishonesty, thus I make sure that everytime I feel proud or I am going to go into that whole experience within myself I just stop myself in breath and focus on my breathing reminding myself that I already commited myself to not do this to myself and be dishonesty to myself and others as myself, and thus I stand that within my commitment to not allow myself to fall for my own self-created trap of using proudness to boost my ego.

I see/realize and understand that I think/belief that someone else's achievement is about their representation they're projecting and within this projected representation of themselves it can influence another around them to be proud of them and stand out of the croud.


Thus within this I commit myself to stop looking at the picture presentation of what a person is projecting and see/realize and understand that whatever the person is projecting and I am reacting to or are judging is in actuality what I desire within myself to also have or what I also judge as something I don't want, within a form of spiting the other as what they are seemingly projecting, when in reality it's my judgement I am looking at in another projected. Thus I make sure I write out these points when they come up within me and look for a practical application that is doable within my timeline. If there is nothing I can find to practically do I make sure to invent something practical to do so I stay grounded within and as myself.

I see/realize and understand that I  think and believe that I have to be a competitor against others in other for myself to express myself within what I want, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am creating a separation within and as myself and to/towards the other as myself where there is no sharing of anything, but only looking for ways to be better then the other.

Thus within this I commit myself to instead of seeing another as myself as a competitor, I instead change my approach in a moment and make sure that I am stable first in breath and then look for ways to be free in myself sharing myself and enjoy myself sharing myself with another.If there still comes up reactions within me when I am expressing myself I just take a little break to ground myself in my breathing and when I am sure I am stable I continue with me expressing me in whatever it is I am doing.

I see/realize and understand that I made of the soccer game a matter of do or die, because within this mindset I could deal with the difference in body mass, because I was smaller and thinner then the other players.

I commit myself to make sure I never in my life made of something that I like to do a matter of do or die, because it comprimises my passion for the game or whatever it is I am doing, and I also make sure to never let my judgemtent determine what must happen and what I must do to cope with the believe that because others being larger then me, I must be hard when I play, because they might take advantage of me. If in a game or whatever event or circumstance I happen to be in or on. If this point continues to appear within me, I make sure to bring it all to myself and write myself out, till I have no more reactions within me and from there move on the apply myself.

I see/realize and understand that I used the personality of "do or die," to aquire more energy and to play the game very wel, thus relying on a personality when in reality it is my body actually doing the actual work of playing the game.

Thus within this I commit myself to NOT have to create myself to rely on my personality that I have created within and as myself to have a mentality of do or die when playing the game of soccer. When I see that I am going into or I am already within this mentality I just take deep breaths to release myself from this reaction and pattern that I have created within me as me and if it persists I immediately, if I have the chance in that moment to put what is happening within me into writing so I can look at why the pattern is still persisting, and after that I can make the decision to make cool practical applications that I can actually live to commit myself to.

I see/realize and understand that I am stubborn and like to do what I want and if I am disturbed in what I am doing even though I aware within myself that I have done more then enough on it, I will get irritated to/towards the person that in my eyes will disturb me from doing whatever it is I am doing.

Thus within this I commit myself to through/via my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to work out this point of stubbornness full out within what I can see in that moment deep within me in self-honesty and from there make commitments to myself that I am aware I can live them into practical application.

I see/realize and understand that I have blamed my father for me not making it in my soccer career, when it is all about myself not actually pushing myself to go through the challenges that came on my path where instead of standing firm within and as myself I gace in and acted out as a victim and then use someone to blame for me not standing within and as myself to push myself to continue with what I liked doing and actually perfect myself within what I am doing or were doing.

Thus, within this I commit myself to stop any point of blame that exists within and as myself and also to write out all the points of blame I have made to/towards my dad, blaming him for my failure and my giving up on te game I liked so much expressing myself within and as. If after all the self-foergiveness statements written out and I still go through some reactions of blame, I remind myself to stick to my breathing to ground myself
to not fall into the temptation to blame others as myself, because I am not only blaming them, but in reality I am blaming me, all blame is self-created.

I see/realize and understand that I haven't unconditionally forgave myself for what I have for what I have labled within and as myself as me failing at the game of soccer which I liked very much.

Thus within this I commit myself to unconditionally forgive all the points I have within myself that are in relation to how I look at that time of my soccer career and how I manifested a pattern within and as myself to give up on anything without ever really pushing myself to go all the way and see how far I can reach in expressing myself within a certain specific discipline and really enjoy myself even expressing myself.

I see/realize and understand that I have judged my father and found that what he told me about himself not liking being in crowded places as an excuse just to not have to come and watch me play soccer, but instead have all the time to spent fixing machines for other people.


Within this I commit myself to work out through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, all the points I have attributed within myself where I judged my father for not attending to my soccer matches, and make sure that I am totally honest within and as myself to/towards my father and in so doing face myself within and as myself to stop all judgments not only to/towards my father but also to/towards anyone or anything else, and most certainly to/towards myself, because ALL judgments are self-judgments and my own creation, so as I created these within and as myself to be part of the whom I am, I can also uncreate myself of/from these and instead of that create myself to be a none-judgmental human being.

I see/realize and understand that I place the word: "lying" within my words of choices when I see within myself that the person I am judging is doing something that is similar to what I judge him/her of, and thus then he/she must be lying about the other similar thing that is within my self-interest.

Therefore, I commit myself to stop calling other people liars when  they do not adhere to my self-interest according to what I consider as important within what I am doing, not seeing/realizing and understanding that I do not consider another within my application of what I consider important for myself. And if this point is not released within and as myself I commit myself to release myself through my writing of self-forgiveness and writing of self-commitments to make sure I walk this point all the way till I free myself from such blame and judgment.


I see/realize and understand that use the emotions of anger mixed with rage within myself to perform better at what I am doing, and the reason I do it is to be directed by this particular personality that I have created within and as myself to direct me to not express myself  and make my body addictive to personality and what it generates within me as me as the mind as energy.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life in self-honesty to stop this mixed anger and rage personality to make decisions on my behalf, pushing me to remain in the background not being able to direct myself within myself. Thus when I see I am going to go through this personality or I am already within it, to stop myself and remind myself to ground myself into and as my breath till nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and from this perspective look for more practical applications to express myself within and as that does not give the personality any chance to direct me and continue directing myself till there is no more personality of anger mixed with rage to direct me in my decisions.

I see/realize and understand that I have judged and place all soccer players under the same roof, as if all of them are going through the same feelings and emotions I am going through within and as myself, when I have no idea if it is actually so, but I follow my belief i have created within myself about all soccer players.

Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life done in self-honesty to stop myself within and as my breath everytime I am in this belief or I am about to take part within and as the belief, to actually remind myself to breathe and stay focus on my breathing till nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and from this application make sure I do something that requires physical application in oder to ground myself and stay here within and as my breath and my human physical body.

I see/realize and understand that I have created a trust to/towards my personality I have created within and as myself to make decisions  on my for me to just follow instead of me taking my directive principle and make my real decision to without having to rely on any personality I myself have created within and as myself.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to not only not trust my personality, but also not to follow it and make sure that I remain within and as my breath to ground myself here within and as my human physical body. If this personality persists I make sure to continue digging within and as myself through my writing of self-frogiveness till I am released from it and make room within and as myself to come up with a practical application that will work at best for myself within and a specific moment so I do not allow myself to trust anything else but myself and my human physical body.

I see/realize and understand that because I could sense certain specific information about other players, especially when there is a body contact in a moment and because of this I saw myself as being special, having special capacity or ability that others do not possess.

Therefore, I commit myself to stop the thinking and believing that I am special just because I belief I have certain/specific ability and capacity that is uniquely to myself and no-one else have them. Thus within this when I see myself going into this ability I make sure to not the feeling of specialness rise within me as me as the mind as energy, to stop myself through my breathing within and as my human physical body to make sure I remain here within and as the physical and trust myself within and as myself as the physical. And if this point keeps on coming up, I make sure to through my writing to work the point out till I am satisfied within and as myself as having anything moving within and as myself as mind as energy.


I see/realize and understand that I have created within myself a behavior where I give up on myself and sabotage myself to instead not be able to push myself to actually walk through a point that seems a challenge within a moment, and thus making sure I am always giving up on myself instead of pushing myself through the point.

Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life done in self-honesty to write out my behavior of giving up on myself to release myself out of that which I have created within and as myself to avoid taking my self-responsibility to/towards myself and to/towards others as myself to. And thus I make sure I stick within focusing on my breathing and grounding myself to stay here within and as the physical, so I do not get lost within my behavior of giving up on myself and never trust myself to actually walk through a point self-honestly and be done with it. Thus whenever a point arrives within and as myself that brings up this behavior I make sure to be stable within and as myself and apply myself into a physical application to keep myself busy and not focus on the physical application I am busy doing.

I see/realize and understand that when I did not understand my father I left it to that without questioning myself any further and ask what was not clear within and as myself, what I did not understand or was clear to me, does not being specific in asking my father a question related to the WHY he is afraid of being in crowded places.

Thus within this I commit myself to when something is not clear within and as myself within and as my understanding I just simply make sure I ask the question in specificity and detail so I can have a better understanding about the person in fact and what they are saying and not based it on assumptions/believes, but on actual real understanding.

I see/realize and understand that I have created a pattern within and as myself that does not question something that is not clear and especially if it is coming from a point of what seems an authority in this world.

Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to make sure I put anything and everyone that is seemingly as a point of authority within this world and within my personal life to stand equal and one with them on paper and then in real physical application so I can approach them on an equal basis and thus not let myself be influenced by what I perceive as a authority within and as this world and within and as my life. Thus I make sure that I have questions that are reasonable but yet to the point and direct so all can be more clear within myself.

I see/realize and understand that I have created a belief around parents that parents because they are parents they know better, when in reality they don't really actually know better, they only have experiences and examples of what ought to be good or bad and follow mostly what is to be a good thing, a good behavior, thus anything that is good needs to be followd and looked for, and everything that is to be bad, must be avoided at all costs, and what would be BEST for all life practically no-one ever considers, because no-one actually ever lives what is BEST for all of life here in the physical.


Therefore, I commit myself to live for myself what is best for all life, little by little creating myself to live like this principle till it is who I am as I live here in the physical expressing myself, and not fall for and follow the brainwashing that went before me through my parents representing a false authority within this world where I believe that my parents know better, without question, that the world is the way it is because of myself and everyone else's accepted and allowed acceptances and allowances. Thus therefore I commit myself to make sure to redefine authority as that which is BEST for all life instead of authority being something or some people being above me or been seen more then me, or knowing more than me. Thus I make sure to in a moment if I am not clear within myself to take long breaths to ground myself till I am clear and then walk/talk within my self-stability in that moment as the authority as what is best for life as myself here for myself.


I see/realize and understand that I have created a defense mechanism within and as myself in order for me to not have to change myself in a moment and thus not having to change myself at all, especially when I experience myself within myself as being uncomfortable.

Thus within this, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life done in self-honesty to make sure to release myself from this belief of ucomfortability and find out when it was I created this belief within and as myself and use it as a defense mechanism to protect my personality in order for me to not have to change. I make sure I focus on my breathing and do physical work that envolve me actually doing something that is physical in the moment to remain here within my breathing and my human physical body grounded and stable.

I see/realize and understand that I live according to what is within and as my mind as concepts and interpretations and not live as actual expressing myself as life here at all, thus not principled living but conceptual living and interpretive living.

Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life done in self-honesty to release myself from concepts and interpretation of how to live and about life and actually get into actual living for real and not just live like crazy but live on/according to life-principles, which is to do/live that which is best for all life in the physical. I make sure I start within small things and grow from there and expand myself till my expression is including all of life here in the physical.

I see/realize and understand that I use the believe of things not working out for me as a way to excuse myself and make the choice to give up on myself and thus on life.

Thus within this I commit myself to instead of letting my decisions being made according to what I belief, I direct my decisions as myself and make sure that when I make a decision I make it based on what is best for all life and stick to it, till I manifest it and I remind myself to be patience with myself and that everything takes time and that I just move within and as my breath time, which is each breath at a time.

I see/realize and understand that I am using the quiting personality to not go through with a point and push myself to actually understand it, because by understanding it, I will understand part of myself that exist within the world outside myself as a projection of myself, therefore it is of highly importance that I prepare myself and learn and move myself within understanding myself and looking at how I project myself in the world as the collective of myself and then as an individual within the collective I can come up with solutions that are best for myself and for all.


Thus within this, I commit myself to change myself first through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life and make sure to live my self-change within and as the world at large imprinting within the greater system outside a voice that little by little will aspire others to also partcipate till this is done and to remind myself to never give up on myself even when things seem impossible and when challenges present themselves in my way, to never give up and just continue standing and pushing myself to not give up on msyelf as life and all as life.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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