Day 319, Telling my daughter that I am not her Biological father.

Fathersday I told my 14 year old daughther that she is not my biological daughter.
She asked me to tell her the truth, and so I did. That on itself was not a problem really.




                                                   

The problem started when she started crying about it and went into her room, that is what the mother told me via Whatsapp. But she was angry that I and the mother did not tell her long ago. The mother, then asked me what it was I told her that made her upset, and I told her too, that I told her the truth.

Now here is where the whole thing became a problem. Now the mother got angry with me too, because she found that as she decided a time ago, that she was going to tell her when she is 18. But looking at how my daughter communicates with me, I can tell that she is old enough to handle the information.

The reason why I in the past, way before I met the desteni people, decided with the mother that it would be best to not tell her, was because of how her real dad was behaving. He was a very agressive man and was stalking the mother constantly, everywhere she goes he will look for ways to find her, so he can continue being vex with her.

In the beginning when I met my ex. girlfriend she already had this girl, that became my daughter, she was back then only 1 year and a few months old.
Back then when the mother asked if it was o.k. for her father to come and see her, I agreed with it, because I saw that as no big deal, I mean who the hell am I to decide if the child can see her dad or not?

But the mother would put the child ready and they will wait and wait and he will not come. And then he will appear late in the evening drunk and high, when the child already slept. But his aim was to look if he can get back with the mother, trying to sleep with her and the lot. And this happened over and over, he will use the excuse of wanting to see the child but would never actually come and see her, it was just to find a way to get close to the mother and try to get her back. So then after all of that the mother decided that she don't want anything to do with him anymore, because he was lying  to everyone, but especially to the kid, because she will wait and wait and he won't come.
When the mother told the biological dad, that she don't want anything to do with him anymore, is when the stalking started becoming more, he will look for her everywhere, and ask everyone for her and even when she will change her phone number he will find it anyways and keep on bothering her late in the evening and harassing her and stuff like that. There were times that my ex. had to call the police on him just to make sure that if something happens that they know that this was going on for awhile already, because when it come to the police they have these strange rules that they apply, if there was not a lot of notification given if it is something that has to become a court case they will not put him in gail for stalking and being vex. Here is a simple example of how the police does not function on prevention, but are functioning on almost waiting for something to happen to then take action. And everytime I was out of the country he will go there and be vexing and always using the excuse of wanting to see the child, when it is late at night and always drunk and high.


So back then I agreed with the mother on not needing to tell the child yet who her real dad is, because we found that, that would mean that she would start to want to look for him and it would be my ex. that would have to look for him for her first, to tell him that his child is looking for him and then he will get the chance again to start to get close to the mother to try and get her back. Because the mother have managed after years to move to another town and he couldn't find her that easy anymore.  From the very beginning the biological father of my daughter did not want her, according to the mother he did not even go to the hospital to see her being born and nothing and did not even came to see her afterwards either. A lot of things had happen between them before I came into the picture, but that is her responsibility to take, I will take my responsibility here as what I did and what I did not do and correct the emotions and feelings and thoughts that I lived during that period of time and look at how I could have done it differently that could have resulted in what would be best for all.



Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to most of the times followed what my ex. would say, believing her all the way and agreed with her without question and sabotaging myself to not look at things in a practical manner that could have resulted into that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even though I did not trust everything my ex. was telling me, still I let myself get influenced by the way she talks and tell her story and from that go about evaluating to agree with her or not and eventually agree with her in the end most of the times.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually allow myself to have more saying in the relationship I had with my ex. and most of the times left things for her to take care of since I saw within her always jumping first in trying to solve the problems her way, and not actually listen to someone else solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be like a person who was a follower of what my ex. will decide and never really take much decision in what is going on, and became more like an observer and a listener.


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually look at all dimensions of what could have been done and prevented and look if it was possible to tell the child that I am not her real dad, so that no consequences of possible harm and abuse can come out of it.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually sit and talk with the biological father of my daughter and hear his side of the story when I had the opportunity to do so and now I only have the side of my ex's story about who he was and also a little about what I experienced myself from his behaviour to/towards my ex.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the biological father of my daughter, based on the stories my ex. was telling about him and agreed with her on the decisions she will make in regards to him seeing the child or not.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and defend my ex. based on the story she was telling about her ex. and in so doing most of the times agreed with her on the decisions she would make.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually go for what I found was not a big deal anyways, which was telling the child that I am not  her real dad, but instead have chosen to make decisions on emotions and fears.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to agree with my ex. on not telling my daughter that I am not her real dad from an early age, because in my mind I was weighing all the consequences of what could go wrong alone if I together with her mother will tell her at an early age, within this not seeing/realizing and understanding that I was making a decision not based on what is best for all, but only what was based on what was best for my ex.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based my decision of not telling my daughter at an early age that she is not my biological daughter, because of fearing having to go through lots of possible troubles with her real dad, and that he will continue harassing my ex. with every chance he gets.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the biological father of my daughter as a drug addict and a drunk  and based on that together with his persistent harassing of my ex. that it would not be such a good idea to tell the child that he is the biological father, because it would be my ex. that would have to then look for him after she have managed to get away from him where he couldn't find her, thus within this purely based on this knowledge and information and some personal incidents found that it would be best to not tell my daughter in that period that I am not her biological dad.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my daughter at an early age will not understand what was going on and then would want to meet with her biological dad and make me and the mother having to look for the him when the mother does not want anything to do with him anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that telling my daughter that I am not her biological dad at an early age will force me and the mother into a consequence we do not want to face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what the consequence might be in my mind and not look at the whole situation on common sense practical solutions that will be best for all people involve and then make the decision and stick by it no matter what.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the fear of what might happen influence my decision making and thus choose not to go with the real truth as it is manifested and choose to hide it to protect the point of fear that exist within me as to what might happen and which is usually what might go wrong actually.



To be continued...................


Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

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318, Who am I in relationship with the word: " Sadness." Part 1

Now I am continuing where I left of yesterday with the self-forgiveness statements. Today I am going to do the self-corrective/commitment statements.

Here is a little of what I wrote in my previous blog.

" I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that because of me not actually being the point of sadness itself within and as myself I cannot be effective in coming up with solutions that will be best for me and also best for all, because the moment I understand sadness within me I will then understand sadness as it is, I can then support others that are also experiencing sadness within them if they have not realized themselves that the sadness they experience is whom they have accepted and allowed themselves to be/become yet, thus through understanding the structure of sadness within me I automatically understand sadness within all human beings, because it is the same construct within all human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see sadness as a point of experience and not seen sadness as point where I can direct myself to solve problems, thus that sadness actually makes me be directive of myself to come up with pracitcal solutions to that which I see as something to be sad about." 

Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to stop and release myself from separating myself to that which is an emotion of sadness within me, so instead of me being directed by the emotion of sadness, I direct me to investigate and introspect the emotion within me and thus make sure that I stand within and as the emotion of sadness and embrace it, in order to understand myself within and as it, and in so doing be able to look at it within various dimensions of its exitence within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to stop using the experience of sadness within me to measure my reality, because I can see within me that as long as I am separate from the experience itself within me, I am not in anyways whatsoever able to direct myself and instead continue being directed by something that I myself create within and as myself, therefore, I commit myself to push myself to go beyond the point of no return within myself to move myself to measure something with common sense reasoning, to see if it is what is best for all life or not.

I commit myself to push myself to hear all the EQAFE interviews done on sadness to help myself with these information to digg deeper within myself in regards to this emotion that I have accepted and allowed to be part of me as me as the mind consciousness system.


I commit myself to whenever I see myself going into or I am about to go into indulging into the experience of going through the emotion of sadness to make sure to remind myself to focus on my breathing to not allow myself to be influenced by the emotion and loose myself and be directed by it, but instead clear and stand within and as my breath to then direct myself from this perspective.

I commit myself to embrace the sadness that I experience within me as me as the mind as energy, as my own creation and to see/realize and understand that it is not an energy creation of a moment as I experience it in a moment, but that it is a accumulation of what I have been accepting and allowing throughout my life that manifest in that moment as if it is something that is created just then and also that it is being done without my consent, when in reality I am aware of it on a deeper level just, but not Self-aware as it yet within and as me.


I commit myself to make sure I stop participating little by little and step by step through the emotion of sadness, because I do understand that I created it through time, thus it will also take time to uncreate it and that I remind myself to have patience with myself in my process of changing me and birthing myself as life here in the physical.

I commit myself to stick to the understanding that sadness is a self-interest point and that with all the people in the world just like me experiencing sadness and going through the emotion of sadness still all of us have not change into human beings that really care about ourselves and each other as life and also the rest of what is here as life. Therefore, I commit myself to create myself to be effective in changing me to be a human being that actually care about all life on earth and use that which I interpret/see/perceive as sad now on earth and in my life and turn and transform that into a practical application where that which I see as sadness will be no more a manifestation to judge reality of.


I commit myself to stop judging sadness that exist within me as something that is negative and avoid circumstances where the probability exists where by seeing what is going on I can experience the emotion of sadness based on my own accepted and allowed definition of what I would see/preceive/interpret as being harmful enough in order to go into the experience of the emotion of sadness, and thus only experience the emotion and not actuaully move myself to bring about a change that will be best for all. Thus within this I commit myself to make sure that I bring about within myself the necessary change that will be practically applied by myself about releasing sadness first and then live to tranform myself into a human being that actually live by takling action that will result into what which is best for all life and stick to that in practise and not keep on using my judgement of my mind where I see something and just judge it or blame it, or react to it, but does not actually do anything about it that will result into that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to place myself in the centre of the emotion of sadness within and as myself and stand here within myself completely till I can direct myself completly within and as it, and move myself to change myself in that moment, and also to remind myself that it takes time to do so and to give myself patience doing so, till I release myself from it through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life to be free from this and be effective and assisting and supporting myself in living without it and through that application of living without it to also assist and support others as myself to do so.

I commit myself to look at sadness temporarly within me as a point where I can direct myself to not use it to measure reality outside myself with, but to actually measure reality with common sense, that which is best for all life in the physical reality practically here.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

Day 317, Who am I in relationship with the word: " Sadness."

So now I am  going to put into writing how I have lived sadness and also How I will put into writing practical applications of changing myself in relation to the word sadness.





                                 

Here is the definition is it is placed within the merriam webster dictionary online:

sad
 adjective \ˈsad\

sad·dersad·dest






Definition of SAD


1

a :  affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness : downcast




b (1) :  causing or associated with grief or unhappiness : depressing <sad news> (2) :  regrettable, deplorable <a sadrelaxation of morals — C. W. Cunnington>




c :  of little worth



2

:  of a dull somber color

— sad·ly adverb

— sad·ness noun



 See sad defined for kids »







So I have noticed that I become sad a lot when I see  harm and abuse going on in the world to/towards people and animals and plants, anyways the whole planet with it's children.



Now what I also noticed is that I do not experience sadness for myself or about myself, I might use the word directed to myself but there is no actual feeling of sadness within myself about myself. Now this is an interesting point. I ask myself: " how can it be that the sadness I experience within myself is always about or to/towards others and things outside myself, why don't I feel sad within myself for myself?"  I may feel sad about something that is happening to me, but the sadness I noticed is more about what "they" did to me, or the circumstance itself that I find myself into. Now, thus it is always directed outwardly, even when it has to do with me. So within this it implies very clearly that I have NOT embraced sadness as actually who I am in order to understand this construct I have accepted and allowed to be within and as my mind consciousness system and within and as my human phyiscal body to form part of me, where I use this construct to measure what happens outside of me, to judge it,..........to blame it,..........to react to it.







So therefore, I am now going to write myself to freedom using self-forgiveness statements first.





Self-forgiveness statements:







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always direct the experience of sadness to/towards someone or something outside myself, because within me I see that I am separate from the sadness that I experience, therefore I only experience it and I am not one and equal with and as it in awareness of myself as it.













I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed sadness to be part of me as how I live with and as my human physical body in this world in this reality, where I use this experience of sadness to/towards someone or something as a measurement to not actually take any real practical action that will result into what will be best for me and aslo best for all.















I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have questioned the experience I have of going through the experience of feeling sad and see/realize and understand that I am experiencing something within me that I cannot see yet where it is coming from, from within me and how it is created from where it is coming from, and how it is there and can direct me without my awareness of it.















I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge circumstances in my life and other's life as something to be sad about, just to generate the experience of sadness so I can indulge in it and in so doing keep it existent within me as me as the mind as energy.
















I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the sadness that I experience within myself as an actual creation within and as myself but always see it as something that is happening within me without my consent.













I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live sadness completely within myself when it presented itself so I can understand sadness, and thus can be more effective in changing myself and even stopping this construct within me that I have accepted and allowed to be part of me as me as the mind consciousness system, as energy.













I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that sadness is something that I can use to measure reality with, when in reality I can also see that the usage of the experience of sadness does not produce the best living conditions for all life as and within all forms of life this life expresses itself within and as on earth.













I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sadness within me as something that is negative, and in so doing accept and allow myself to avoid the experience of the feeling of sadness, because I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed that, that which is negative is always something to avoid or something to hide, thus this is what I do within and as my mind even though I am the one that is experiencing it.
















I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that because of me not actually being the point of sadness itself within and as myself I cannot be effective in coming up with solutions that will be best for me and also best for all, because the moment I understand sadness within me I will then understand sadness as it is, I can then support others that are also experiencing sadness within them if they have not realized themselves that the sadness they experience is whom they have accepted and allowed themselves to be/become yet, thus through understanding the structure of sadness within me I automatically understand sadness within all human beings, because it is the same construct within all human beings.













I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see sadness as a point of experience and not seen sadness as point where I can direct myself to solve problems, thus that sadness actually makes me be directive of myself to come up with pracitcal solutions to that which I see as something to be sad about.






















Thanks.














Larry Manuela




















Join us at: Desteni






Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.








Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE






And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP






Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

Day 316, Who am I in relationship with the word: "money." Part 5

Now continuing with the last part of self-commitment statements that have to be walked here.

I left off with the last words in my previous blog:

" I commit myself to stop the judgement that exist within me as me as the mind as energy wherein I think and believe that not paying for something is not caring and is abusive, without seeing/realizing and understanding the whole situation. Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to investigate within me this point till I free myself from it and then live as an example to myself to show myself first that I can change in a moment when I stick to my decision and then as I walk the change I become the example to others as myself." 







                                                                                   

                                             
Self-commitment statements continues:


I commit myself to push myself to when I do not have money to do go out and mingle with other people to not challenge my fear, but to face my fear of being embarrassed when I may find myself into a situation where I will have to spent money I do not have, thus within this I make sure to tell whomever I will meet or go out with that I do not have money and that I also do not intent to use his/her money. I am going out to enjoy myself and to move myself out of the confines of my home or my comfort zone where I hide from the reality and judge myself and sabotage myself into submitting myself to the reactions that come up within my mind.

I commit myself to push myself to have contact with the people around me and stop avoiding them, because of my conviction I have made within my mind about how I deal with myself when I do not have money and also how I deal with others when I don't have money. And if there are any reactions within me during the meetings, I make sure to put them in my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life, to clear myself from all these delusional misconceptions and fears, that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in order to not change myself and thus sabotage my own change.


I commit myself to stop and push myself to walk little by little and step by step through the fear that exists within me of what people may think and believe about me of the fact of me not having sufficient money to actually live a dignified life with, into my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to change myself into a human being that take care of it's finances properly and also make sure that when all is in place and stable to support with that finance those whom work to bring about that which is best for all life into this world, this reality.


I commit myself to stop the judgement of governmental institutions actually being a point of hiding my fear of not having to be exposed by those whom are in my immediate circle and thus not accepting the help that can come from them and instead accept more easily the help of the outward bigger system where people I don't know are working, so it can be more easily  justifiable to myself, within and as my mind. Thus within this I implore myself to invesitgate this point through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life to find it within me a point where I become more humble with myself in relation to my survival.


I commit myself to when I see myself going into or I am about to go into an energetic experience of emotion as sadness to immediately  remind myself to stop myself in focusing on my breathing and when I see that the point keep on coming up I make sure that I put it into my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, in order to solve this problem of experiencing sadness that I have accepted and allowed to be part of me within  and as my mind consciousness system.


I commit myself to stop the idea and concept that exists within me that "life is hard," because I see/realize and understand that I am interpreting my surival that I have accepted and allowed to be hard as if that is life, when I am aware that it is not so, but yet still will let this concept and idea rule over my awareness of what I can see in common sense here in a moment. Thus by pushing myself to stop this idea and concept of life being hard through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, I am actually moving myself to change myself to be that  which I see within myself that I have participated within and as the world system, wherein survival is a challenge especially when one does not have money, and bring forth the necessary adjustments to my life in order to be effective in my personal life as in the greater system outside myself and be a point of change where survival eventually will be not a hardship, and just practical actions that have to be taken to meet the need of the physical human body in harmony with all other physical expressions of life that are here.

I commit myself to stop first the reactions I have accepted and allowed within and as myself  about being stressed in my mind first about not having enough money to survive with that eventually will manifest as a physical stress in the body, and work out the points that are related to this problem through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life in order to release myself from the stress in my mind and then also the stress that manifest in my body, and to remind myself to have patience with myself that it is a process and not a miracle pill.


I commit myself to instead of my reaction about not having money getting the best of me and directing me, I decide to make sure I direct me, in order to from that application push  myself to direct the way I manage and use and spent my money.

I commit myself to push myself to little by little and step by step to stop myself feeling ashamed of not having money and be in the presence of people that do have money, because I created within me a belief/idea/concept that not having money is something to be ashamed of and embarrassed about, within this sabotaging myself to stay within this mind concept and idea and thus never actually stepping out of it in real practical living, thus within this I commit myself to face myself as this fear I have created within myself to protect my own fear of being ashamed and embarrased for not having money and being around people that do.


I commit myself to not only question the monetary system when I do not have money, but to question all aspect of it all the time, whether I have money or don't have money and  look for solutions that can be implemented to best support what is best for all life here on earth.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into or about to go into fantasizing about winning a great money prize when I don't have money, to stop myself in breath in that moment and keep doing so till this stops and if it does not stop it means that there are more points related to this practicular point that I have missed within my self-forgiveness statements and thus can then write myself to freedom out of this contstruct I have accepted and allowed to be part of me as me.


I commit myself to pay very good attention to prices when I do have money, and push myself to really buy stuff I really do need and not just spent money like crazy without any self-responsibility, and make sure that I use my money constructively so that I can support myself better within the system and also support solutions that are supportive of life on earth, that will be best for all life.

I commit myself to stop the interpretation of days feeling longer when I do not have money to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, because I can actually let myself get influenced by the experience of the interpretation and just do not move myself into the physical to come with practical applications that will be best for myself and also best for all life.


I commit myself to when I don't have money to not abuse my body by trying to save a little money and eat not healthy, and make sure that when I do have money to manage it accordingly that it will meet my survival needs, and thus in that way not abuse my body. Thus I make sure I take good care of my body.


I commit myself to stop interpreting coming into contact with people that also have little money as something magical that in the moments I don't have money that I bump into them and we talk about our experiences of living without money, so I have a crossreference of not being alone in the situation of not having enough money. And make sure that I work out the feeling of belonging to these people with similar problems as me so I don't have to look for ways to change myself and the situation and also mingle within groups that have no actual solution but only have points of blame to/towards the system at large. By changing at how I look at these people I can use their experiences to transform into looking for solutions that will be best for all practically.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

Day 315, Who am I in relationship with the word: " money." Part 4

Now within this part I am going to write the commitments and corrections.

Here is where I left off in previous post:

" I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to not take good care of my human physical body, because I then try to avoid spending money on food and stuff like that or avoid spending money on things that may make things worst in the very near future.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to belief that I am bumping into people that also don't have money or have little money, without seeing/realizing and understanding that most people are now in financial difficulty, but yet I made of the situation a point of finding a way to justify me not having money and finding a way of avoiding myself feeling alone all by myself having similar problems as the others as myself, thus by sharing our problems with each other I feel a sense of  belonging to the group and I am not so alone within the problem of not having money or having not enough money."





                           

Self-Commitment statements:

I commit myself to not only see money as not the real wealth but also to be clear about money being just a representation of the real wealth in this world and to commit myself to use to do what is necessary within my own survival and also to support with it those whom are doing their best to bring forth into this world and existence, that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to question money and the money system and do what is necessary to be done in order to udnerstand this very important point that has become a major point in influencing how I and the rest of everything that is here live, thus I have to take my self-responsibility to/towards money and the monetairy system, because I am a participant within it and supporter of it as it exist within this world right now, thus by changing who and how I am within and as it I then see more of what I can do in order to come up with practical solutions that will be best for all thus best for me too.

I commit myself to now that I have seen within myself that in situation where I have to take care of myself for my survival I have to make the decision and live it to remember to save some money for the rainy days, because it is a practical point within my own survival and especially when my financial situation is not stable yet, thus taking the example of my mother and grandmother I have seen in the past, because it is practical when dealing with my personal survival.

I commit myself to see value in money in the sense of what I can practically do with it for my own survival and also how to use that to support bringing about in the world system what is best for all, and come up with practical solutions that will be as fun as spending it in selfish manner.

I commit myself to not use any idea about money as in how I interpret gender in relation to using money, being part of my life, because it is unnecessary and just make sure I commit myself to use money as a point of support for myself and others as myself in the system that will be best for all.

I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to make sure I stop being generous when I have money, and instead be practical and use money in the form that is best for me and for all in a very constructive way that suits not only me but all.

I commit myself to make sure that I start seeing contribution of money not to the economy just for the sake of believing it to be so, but instead redefining contribution of money and that the spending becomes support of life and not a spending on products that does not support life or my real needs.

I commit myself to from now on, really have a look at prices and only buy things I really really need and to not spent money on things that are unnecessary and to also treat myself something small once in a while, but to not spent money like crazy without being constructive about whaat to spent it on.

I commit myself to stop all charity foundation because I can see they are not what would be best for all, they are just here to support the inequality that exists within this world, and do not support life and are not a system that will bring that which best for all of life. So I commit myself to support the EqualLifeFoundation instead of a charity foundation that is not busy with coming up with solutions that permenantly stop and eradicate all the problems we have created within this world, this existence.

I commit myself to stop giving treats to people in the form of buying drinks or whatever for them, and then when they are with more people feel guilty of not treating the rest and then force myself to treat them to, because I see/realize and understand that I am compromising my own survival to do unnecessary spending wuth my money, just to have a feeling of me being a good person and that is not a cheap person. Thus within this I also commit myself to writing this point fully out till I am clear about all the reactions that are related to this point if they will come up in do time, and to remind myself to stand firm within my convication and my commitment to not fall pray for my own limitations and sabotaged my own survival.

I commit myself to stop spending money on foods I don't really need, jsut because I like to enjoy "good tasting foods," and in so doing when I have money I spent money on that. Thus I make sure that I remind myself when these moments present themselves to remember to not go into them and remind myself to focus on my breathing and continuing doing so till I am clear within myself and then out of that clearness I move and direct myself to make the decision to do in that moment what would be best for me and best for all.

I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to stop myself letting myself be influenced by money when it also comes to communication, wherein I communicate more freely when I have money then when I don't have money. Thus within this I commit myself to direct myself to communicate freely without having to be influenced by money.

I commit myself to look at my finances and use my money that I get constructively and make sure that whatever it is that I always wanted to buy, if it is not really necessary, to not buy it and instead direct myself to use my money and invest into something that will support life, like the equallifefoundation.

I commit myself to whenever I see myself going into or I am about to go into treating other people when I am aware I don't have to, I just make a decision and do not do so in the moment and just choose not to treat at all, and remove myself from the situation and stay firm within my decision and breathe, and if any discomfort arises within me, I just continue breathing till I am clear and then from there proceed to act in the moment and direct myself to just move here without having to feel obligated to treat no-one, or guilty for not treating people using my money.

I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to introspect and investigate within myself the guilt I experience when someone else insist to pay for me, and just stop myself in that moment in breath and keep on breathing till I am clear and from there I can proceed by either say yes or no, without having to react within myself about the situation.

I commit myself to stop the ideas/believes/opinions that exist within me about other people treating me, because I believe that they believe I am less fortunate then them, thus I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to investigate these believes/ideas and opinions till I work them all out one by one step by step, so in the moments where the same situation present itself I can direct myself in making a pratical common sense decision that would be best for me and also best for the one that wants to treat me.

I commit myself to stop the judgement that exist within me as me as the mind as energy wherein I think and believe that not paying for something is not caring and is abusive, without seeing/realizing and understanding the whole situation. Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to investigate within me this point till I free myself from it and then live as an example to myself to show myself first that I can change in a moment when I stick to my decision and then as I walk the change I become the example to others as myself.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela

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