318, Who am I in relationship with the word: " Sadness." Part 1

Now I am continuing where I left of yesterday with the self-forgiveness statements. Today I am going to do the self-corrective/commitment statements.

Here is a little of what I wrote in my previous blog.

" I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that because of me not actually being the point of sadness itself within and as myself I cannot be effective in coming up with solutions that will be best for me and also best for all, because the moment I understand sadness within me I will then understand sadness as it is, I can then support others that are also experiencing sadness within them if they have not realized themselves that the sadness they experience is whom they have accepted and allowed themselves to be/become yet, thus through understanding the structure of sadness within me I automatically understand sadness within all human beings, because it is the same construct within all human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see sadness as a point of experience and not seen sadness as point where I can direct myself to solve problems, thus that sadness actually makes me be directive of myself to come up with pracitcal solutions to that which I see as something to be sad about." 

Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to stop and release myself from separating myself to that which is an emotion of sadness within me, so instead of me being directed by the emotion of sadness, I direct me to investigate and introspect the emotion within me and thus make sure that I stand within and as the emotion of sadness and embrace it, in order to understand myself within and as it, and in so doing be able to look at it within various dimensions of its exitence within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to stop using the experience of sadness within me to measure my reality, because I can see within me that as long as I am separate from the experience itself within me, I am not in anyways whatsoever able to direct myself and instead continue being directed by something that I myself create within and as myself, therefore, I commit myself to push myself to go beyond the point of no return within myself to move myself to measure something with common sense reasoning, to see if it is what is best for all life or not.

I commit myself to push myself to hear all the EQAFE interviews done on sadness to help myself with these information to digg deeper within myself in regards to this emotion that I have accepted and allowed to be part of me as me as the mind consciousness system.


I commit myself to whenever I see myself going into or I am about to go into indulging into the experience of going through the emotion of sadness to make sure to remind myself to focus on my breathing to not allow myself to be influenced by the emotion and loose myself and be directed by it, but instead clear and stand within and as my breath to then direct myself from this perspective.

I commit myself to embrace the sadness that I experience within me as me as the mind as energy, as my own creation and to see/realize and understand that it is not an energy creation of a moment as I experience it in a moment, but that it is a accumulation of what I have been accepting and allowing throughout my life that manifest in that moment as if it is something that is created just then and also that it is being done without my consent, when in reality I am aware of it on a deeper level just, but not Self-aware as it yet within and as me.


I commit myself to make sure I stop participating little by little and step by step through the emotion of sadness, because I do understand that I created it through time, thus it will also take time to uncreate it and that I remind myself to have patience with myself in my process of changing me and birthing myself as life here in the physical.

I commit myself to stick to the understanding that sadness is a self-interest point and that with all the people in the world just like me experiencing sadness and going through the emotion of sadness still all of us have not change into human beings that really care about ourselves and each other as life and also the rest of what is here as life. Therefore, I commit myself to create myself to be effective in changing me to be a human being that actually care about all life on earth and use that which I interpret/see/perceive as sad now on earth and in my life and turn and transform that into a practical application where that which I see as sadness will be no more a manifestation to judge reality of.


I commit myself to stop judging sadness that exist within me as something that is negative and avoid circumstances where the probability exists where by seeing what is going on I can experience the emotion of sadness based on my own accepted and allowed definition of what I would see/preceive/interpret as being harmful enough in order to go into the experience of the emotion of sadness, and thus only experience the emotion and not actuaully move myself to bring about a change that will be best for all. Thus within this I commit myself to make sure that I bring about within myself the necessary change that will be practically applied by myself about releasing sadness first and then live to tranform myself into a human being that actually live by takling action that will result into what which is best for all life and stick to that in practise and not keep on using my judgement of my mind where I see something and just judge it or blame it, or react to it, but does not actually do anything about it that will result into that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to place myself in the centre of the emotion of sadness within and as myself and stand here within myself completely till I can direct myself completly within and as it, and move myself to change myself in that moment, and also to remind myself that it takes time to do so and to give myself patience doing so, till I release myself from it through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life to be free from this and be effective and assisting and supporting myself in living without it and through that application of living without it to also assist and support others as myself to do so.

I commit myself to look at sadness temporarly within me as a point where I can direct myself to not use it to measure reality outside myself with, but to actually measure reality with common sense, that which is best for all life in the physical reality practically here.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela

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Day 261, The '' THEY and THEM '' vs the '' ME and WE/US '' Part- 6

now moving to the next dimension which will be the Physical/Behavioural-Dimension.

Physical/Behavioural-Dimension:


***   feel like this physical tension in my chest area when having a look at what ''they'' are doing or not doing within and as this world.


***  I have to continously scratch my head on one specific spot, which is on top of my head in the middle, it starts to ich when i am having a look at the ''they'' as in what they are doing or not doing


***  My body being uncomfortable, not able to get into a position to sit still and stable and comfortable, always trying to find a cozy way of sitting.



Self-Forgiveness Statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go through physical tension in my chest area when i am having a look at what ''they'' are doing or not doing within and as this world.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that the judgements and blames i have about ''they/them'' is affecting my physical body to go into tension within my chest area.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that the tension i was experiencing in my chest area is my body giving me a sign for this specific judgement or blame.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that judgement and/or blame are NOT real, and that i only BELIEF them to be real, because i am the one creating the judgement and the blame within and as me and experience them as ME, and thus based on the experience of them in/as ME, i think/belief that they must be real, forgetting completely that an experience is NOT what LIFE is, because LIFE is a FACT, it is right HERE always, doesn't have to be waited on to be experienced, it IS HERE regardless of an experience.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have my head itch enormously on the top in the middle because of having thoughts about what ''they'' are doing or NOT doing.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to my head itching as in trying to make me aware that i am heavily in thoughts again about what ''they'' are doing or not doing.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to instead of seeing the itching, and stop and look at what i am doing as in participating in my mind, i continue scratching on the area where it itches with the thoughts in my mind coming up still.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that my body always goes into an immediate reaction as in this case itching of specific spot on my head, indicating that i am participating in thoughts, but yet due to me being heabily involved/participating in the thought(s) i don't notice the warning my body is giving me through the itching of me scalp on that specific area/spot.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT sit quiet and stable, because inside of me i am experiencing some uncomfortability and instead of investigating/doing some introspection as in WHAT it is making me inside of myself having these experiences of uncomfortability, i choose to find way to sit comfortable and cozy but NOT deal with the problem of the experience inside.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my experiences inside of me and try to brush it off by trying to look for a comfortable way of sitting, without seeing/realizing/understanding that the uncomfortability of the body is the indication that i am going through some uncomforable energetic experiences inside of myself which makes the obdy react as it reacts as in; NOT being able to find a comfortable/cozy/stable position to sit.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make my body to feel physically uncomfortable by participating in uncomfortable energetic experiences inside myself.




Self-Commitment statements:

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into allowing myself to go into physical tension that will result within and as my chest area, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize i am experiencing physical tension in my chest area, because of my participation in thoughts about what ''they'' are doing or not doing within and as this world.


For this i commit myself to make sure that i do NOT participate into these thoughts and make sure that i am busy with some physical task/chores in order to keep myself HERE within and as the physical touch as the breath and within and as the task/chores that i am doing, either it be doing the dishes or vacuming the living room, or washing the clothes or just writing and being here on whatever point.



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into judgements and blame, to immediately take a stand within and as myself and Say: STOP!!  ------------- take deep breaths till i am completely stable and HERE and nothing moves within and as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that by participating in judgement and blame, results into my chest area having some physical tension.

Therefore, i commit myself to make sure that to pay attention to when i am in a moment feeling some tension to immediately stop myself in that moment in breath and investigate what i participated in, in a moment that made me have a chest tension, because i have seen now that it is based on some judgement and/or blame.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into loosing myself into energetic experiences, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i loose myself into energetic experiences in my mind and in this; makes my body have a physical reaction as in my chest area.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure i am constantly focus on my breath so i don't loose myself within energetic experiences in my mind and if i am to loose myself to immediately catch myself back and bring myself back HERE in breath so i can see slow myself down and look within me to see what exactly made me go into ''loosing it'' in a moment in energetic offshoots. And when these are seen even not clear to take notes in oder to direct myself in them through my writing of Self-Forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into scratching my head that is itching, I immediately, STOP------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that most of the times when i am scratching my head exactly in the middle on top, is because i am in some sort of thought participation that invloves judgment of myself or another as myself.

Therefore, I commit myself to pay very close attention to when my scalp itch in the middle to then have a look within myself if i am really participating in some judgements in my head and to then immediately take notes of the specific judgement either from myself or others as myself and later if i am in a place that i cannot write them out immediately to then when i am at home to investigate what the specific judgements were about and why i had them, in oder to come to a solution for myself that will little by little remove all judgements.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into energetic experiences within me, I immediately STOP,------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that when i experiencing some uncomfortable energetic experiences within myself, my body reacts in uncomfortability as in; not finding a way to sit comfortable and/or stable or cozy.

Therefore, I commit myself to the moment i see that i am busy not finding a way to sit comfortable, to immediately have a look within myself to see what uncomfortable energetic experiences i am busy participating in, in my mind, and to take notes of these and to write them out in the form of Self-forgiveness and Self-commitment.




Self-Reward:


Within this writing i have seen/realized/understood that there are some physical reactions of my body that are clearly indicating or giving me some hints when i am lost in my mind participation regarding certain/specific judgements and blames either of myself or others as myself, but usually about others as myself. Thus within this now that i have seen this, i can be more attentive and get the hints my body gives in forms of physical reactions when it will happen again, wherein i will be able to work the points out immediately.






Thanks.


Larry Manuela

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Day 260, The '' THEY and THEM '' vs the '' ME and WE/US '' Part- 5

So i am now moving into working out the next dimension, which is going to be the Reaction-Dimension.

                                                 Art done by: Andrew Gable






Reaction-Dimension:



***   Feeling a little anxiety when talking about the ''them'' as in; the ones that have control in the world system

***  Feeling a sense of nervousness when having a look at what ''they'' think/belief against what factually is going on and that ''they'' most of the times if not ALL of the time; choose their thoughts and beliefs above the facts of LIFE.

***  I have anxiety reaction when i see ''they/them'' talking about things as war, as if it is a ''normal'' thing and very much something that MUST take place.




Self-Forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in anxiety when talking about ''them'' as in; the ones that have control in the world system.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in anxiety when talking about ''them,'' because i can see within and as the world system that those whom are in control of it, are using it to abuse and to harm LIFE in all kinds of ways.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let anxiety for/about ''them'' within and as my mind to exist and in this way obstruct me from seeing reality for what it is right here and to do what is best for all life in each moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that anxiety can only exist when there is fear within and as me as my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blind myself with and within anxiety in order to not see the fear that is behind it, that i really need to STOP within and as me, as the mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feeling a sense of nervousness when having a look at what ''they'' think/belief against what is factually going on, and that ''they'' most of the times if NOT all of the times; choose their thoughts and beliefs above the facts of LIFE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that i too, am NOT looking at the facts of LIFE in each moment of breath, right HERE.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to within those whom i call; ''they,'' that they are showing me the whom and what i accept and allow myself and others as myself to be in this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge ''they'' without seeing/realizing/understanding, that judging ''they,'' is judging myself, because when i am judging another or even myself it is within and as ME that judgement is existent and not in the other i am busy judging.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a reaction of anxiety when i see ''they/them'' talking about things as war, as if it is a ''normal'' thing and very much something that must take place.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand within and as war as to understand it completely and in this matter i can direct this point within and as myself and within and as this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see that i am part of humanity that sees war as ''normal,'' and therefore do not stand up and really END all wars forever more.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame those whom are sending people to war or are willingly wanting to participate and are killing others in war as the reason war exist, when in reality the war starts within myself as the frictions/conflict that are within and as myself as my mind consciousness system that make way for the war outside to manifest, therefore making me and all mankind responsible for any war that goes on within and as this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for letting ar exist within and as me and thus; within and as this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see war as something ''bad,'' without seeing/realizing/understanding, that seeing war as something ''bad'' is just an interpretation of me as my mind consciousness system playing out the program of the ''good vs evil,'' wherein the ''bad,'' that which is  the way of evil must be fought and destroyed in whatever means thus perpetuating and making sure that war continues in the world outside, because inside equals outside, and outside equals inside.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project ''good vs evil'' outside myself and think and belief that what i interpret as ''evil'' in my mind must then be destroyed in the world outside, because apperently that which is bad is evil and must be eradicated.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that to see ''they'' as the ones doing the ''bad'' thing, either ''they'' actually are doing it or not, STILL makes me responsible for all that happens HERE in this world because i am part of this world as all other creatures that share this world together with me. It is OUR home, not MY home.



Self-Commitment Statements:


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into anxiety when talking about ''they,''  I STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy as the mind consciousness system.


I realize that i create anxiety within and as my mind in order for me to not put myself in a place of responsiblity to what i can see clearly already that is unacceptable in this world, and then based on this project it on the ''they,'' so leaving me as Self out, then it looks like i am the one free of responsibility, when in reality i am responsible because i am HERE.

Therefore, I commit myself to STOP anxiety within myself everytime it arises and investigate  it/have self-introspection through my writing of Self-forgiveness in Self-honesty to see how i created myself to respond in such a irresponsible manner and understand that which is anxiety completely so i can be free of/from anxiety.

when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into initiating anxiety within me to reach a certain level of fear within me, I STOP----------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am using anxiety as a pretext to stay within and as certain levels of fear, or that generate fear, so fear can continue having its existence within and as me, as the mind consciousness system, perpetuating within this the fear that it exists within all of humanity within and as this world.


Therefore, I commit myself to make sure that i take little by little, step by step these anxieties that pop up within and as my mind consciousness system, to find out through my writing of Self-forgiveness in Self-honesty to find out where they come from and which specific fear they belong to, so i can stop myself as this fear and delete this fear together with the personality/character that holds the fear as its weapon within and as my mind and act as me in my behalf.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into feelings of nervousness about others as myself, I STOP------------ take a deep breath and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i get this nervous reaction within me when i interpret within and as my mind that ''they,'' only go for their belief and thoughts and not for the facts as how things really function in this physical world.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure to pay very good attention to my own reactions and then stop myself through my writing of Self-forgiveness in Self-honesty wherein i  based these reactions within my interpretations that might or might not be so in reality and just look at the facts of what is being presented within and as this world as it factually happened or is happening, because when the fact is HERE, then it is not a judgement nor an interpretation but an actual occurence of what happened or is happening.


When and as i see myself going into or about to go into judging ''they,'' to immediately STOP and take a deep breath or many deep breaths if the judgements doesn't stop, till i am clear and stable HERE, and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am judging ''they'' when it is because what is existent in the world is also my responsibility and i am trying to put it on someone else, acting as IF it is only their responsibility and not mine, when it is also mine,because i am equally responsible for everything that happens here in this world wether directly or indirectly.

Therefore, I commit myself to always bring my judgement of others to myself to look at what is acceptable or not acceptable and what is not what is BEST for all life and if these are not clearly understandable within myself to use my writing of Self-forgiveness and my commitment to LIFE in Self-honesty to investigate within myself why it is i am not understanding my own judgements and what it is i am trying to protect in Self-interest and to bring it HERE for me to face it within/as myself.

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into seeing something as ''bad'' to immediately STOP within this mind participation, and take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am seeing something as ''bad'' to keep the program as ''good vs evil'' alive within and as my mind consciousness system, where judgements and justifications and blame, frustration,anger can all mixed with each other and create a wonderful energy mix which is nothing else but abusing my human physical body.

Therefore, I commit myself to throuhg my writing of Self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE, to make sure that it becomes clear to me when i SEE something, i see it for what it is as fact without mind interpertrations as in ''bad'' for example and then base on the fact i can direct me in my decision in a moment to choose what will be BEST for LIFE.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into my mind interpretation of what ''evil'' is I STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am using the word ''evil'' to come to the conslusion that it is something that must be destroyed and then based on this mind interpretation of what i have defined the word ''evil'' to be, i then project this into the world and then think and belief that it must be destroyed outside too in the world, what i myself will interpret as whati will see as ''evil'' outside.

For this, I commit myself to investigate the word ''evil'' wtihin and as myself and its opposite and polarity to really really understand it through my writing of Self-Forgivenes and my commitment to LIFE in order to end it within and as me.




Self-Reward:


Within this writing i have seen how i am wasting my time focusing on the ''they'' outside myself in judgement and blame instead of bringing to myself as what i see in common sense that is happening in this world that can be what is BEST for all LIFE to myself that which will be BEST in order for me to be able to give as what i have received myself to give to all of LIFE equal to/as LIFE itself have given to me as itself which is itself as LIFE.




Thanks.



Larry Manuela

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Day 229, Not Wanting/Willing/DARING To Communicate. Part 4

So, here i am continuing with the walking of the dimensions in writing.


This is an exerpt from the previous day:






Self-Reward:



As i now have worked out my thoughts in regards to how i want/will/dare to communicate with another and i see how i fool myself and also sabotage myself into NOT being HERE when taking participation within them, it makes it easier to for the next time(s) similar points arrive to immediately see them for what they are and i can then STOP myself much faster and be more attentive to how i interact with another and in this case with her, thus i have open a door/an opportunity for myself to find a way to NOT get lost in thought off shootings as pictures in my mind that are not real, and that are only past memories of what the mind interpreted.



The next dimension i am going to walk HERE is the BackChat-Dimension.

Problem:


Backchat- Dimension:


*** I am certain that she is not going to like what i have to say.

*** She will also be annoyed/bothersome when she hears what I have to say.

*** This is so annoying/bothersome to speak about.

*** I better shut the hell up.





Solutions:




Self-forgiveness statements:




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' I am certain that she is NOT going to like what i have to say,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' I am certain she is not going to like what i have to say,'' to exist within me also as my own self-created belief-system, that protect my the fear-character/personality of '' NOT exposing myself as this mind consciousness system, that i think/belief i am.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link the backchat: '' I am certain she is not going to like what i have to say,'' to a character/personality of NOT exposing myself as the mind consciousness system.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that i am using the backchat: I am certain that she is NOT going to like what i say,'' as a protective mechanism in order to NOT have to expose myself to myself or another as myself, because then i am forced to look at myself as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become and that i then have to STOP myself and correct myself in order to live the correction and STOP the lie as the mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' she will also be annoyed/bothersome when she hears what i have to say,'' to exists within me as me as the mind as energy as my own interpretation/view as IF that is what will in FACT happen, when it is NOT happening in fact at all.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link the backchat: '' she will also be annoyed/bothersome when she hears what i have to say,'' to what i think/belief she might feel/experience within herself AS IF my thinking/believing is FACT so.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my own self-created belief on to her and then react upon it as IF it is her belief that she will have on what i will say to her, when in reality i did not even say anything to her at all, all is just busy happening in my mind and NOT in fact so HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that projecting what i am thinking/believing is actually going to change something in reality just because i thought it to be so in my mind, and thus taking my mind-reality as REAL and the real REALITY as something that have to mold itself to what i think/belief is real.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take this belief that what my mind creates is what is real and NOT the physical Reality as it exists as REAL, because all i know myself as at the moment is only what i have made myself to accept and allow myself to be/become as this mind consciousness system, thus that the I as the mind consciousness system IS what i see/view/perceive/interpret myself to be as what is REALLY real, and the body is just a vessel for this mind consciousness system that i have created myself to be/become to exists within/as for awhile.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to treat/view/interpret/perceive my human physical body/form as Nothing of importance and of value, whereas i abuse it to such an extent that its own Death IS its only solution to make sure this Abuse does not exist forever in existence.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand to what extent i am abusing myself as an expression of life as the human physical body/form AS LIFE in order to exist within it AS an ILLussion.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make an illusion in my mind as my mind having more Value then LIFE, and give LIFE itself to supports me NO Value at all, as the world i live in proves day by day and as the body that i live in/as also decay and becomes old, day by day as i literally suck it dry of the energy that it has to produce for the ME as the Mind Consciousness System to survive and have the ILLusion as Being Real.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' this is so annoying/bothersome to speak about,'' to exists within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this backchat: '' this is so annoying/bothersome to speak about,'' to be part of how i see/perceive/view my reality trough my mind and that i trust my mind with what it will come up with as what it has as database of information of past events/occurences/circumstances that i participated within either directly or indirectly, and use These as facts, when they are all Opinions and BeLIEfs pertaining to my mind-interpretation.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' this is so annoying/bothersome to speak about,'' to appear within me, because IT as the backchat takes in that moment my self-responsibility to STAND HERE as within and as my breath and my human physical body one and equal as LIFE, so IT haven't had to NOT be the director of my LIFE within each moment as I have throughout my life given IT( my mind consciousness system) as myself permission to do so in every way and in every moment.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to GIVE my mind consciousness system power over my Directive WILL to make LIFE-based decisions, when in reality my mind consciousness system is not suited to do that, because it IS a system of polarity/opposites, a system of separation, and NOT as that which LIFE is As Oneness and Equality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' I better shut the hell up,'' to exists within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use this backchat: '' I better shut the hell up,'' as a means to protect myself to not expose myself as the LIE that i am, but yet not aware of as the whom i am in a moment and every moment of breath, so i can STOP myself to create myself as such.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a fear of exposure exist within me as me as the mind as energy. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link exposure to fear, thus that exposure is something to be feared when in reality exposure is just the who/what/how/why/where/when I am/


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to choose ''being silent'' as a means to avoid any conflict/friction that might arise, so i won't have to be exposed as my mind consciousness system.



Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into having any backchat within myself as myself, I STOP-----------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into trying to protect myself as the mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become, I STOP, take a deep breath and earth myself, bringing myself back HERE, and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then from this clarity and stability i move as one as equal as my human physical body/form and my breath.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using a backchat to expose a character/personality in any moment, I STOP take a deep breath and earth myself back HERE, making sure that i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into NOT wanting to expose myself as a mind consciousness system, I STOP-------------take a deep breath, bring myself back HERE, earth myself and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into being annoyed/bothersome to immediately STOP,-----------take a deep breath and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then within this clarity and stability i can then move and communicate as my human physical body/form one and equal with and as my breath.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting my own mind interpretation about myself on another as myself, I STOP--------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into thinking/believing what another might think/belief about myself, I STOP--------------------take a deep breath and focus on my breathing and make sure within this process of bring myself back HERE in the moment, to hold my hands to remind myself that i am HERE and not up there within my mind having thoughts/beliefs/opinions.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into giving my mind More Value then LIFE itself, I immediately STOP,-----------take a deep breath and earth myself back HERE and make sure i continue focusing on my breathing till i am totally clear and stable and i am sure that there is nothing moving as energy within me, and then i can proceed in moving and directing myself within/as my human physical body/form and communicate one and equal as it.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using my mind consciousness system database of information as FACTS, I immediately STOP, --------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, within and as my human physical body/form and keep on focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into letting my mind consciousness system take over the power over my self-directive WILL, I STOP,------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and there is not energetic movement within me, and then from this clarity and stability i then move/communicate with another.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself NOT paying attention to myself and NOT focused on my breathing wherein i loose myself within and as my mind consciousness system, I immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, giving my total attention to myself as my human physical body/form and remain focus on my breathing so i don't loose myself within and as my breath.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using fear to hide my own exposure with, I STOP,------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and i can then look within myself as the whom i am in that moment and see if the whom i am is my human physical body breathing alone and not some energy movement within it, and from this clarity and stability within and as my human physical body/form i then act/communicate.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into avoiding friction/Conflict to stand still, STOP myself before i go into it and Take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then i can speak from a point of being HERE and not from a point of my mind interpretation where conflict/friction are derived.




Self-Reward:

I can see now that i am fearing exposing myself in order to not get rid of what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as a mind consciousness system, thus now that i can see myself within my writing i then will be more vigilant and attentive in other similar moments/circumstances when these arive/present themselves, in order to little by little move myself out of this pattern and also to STOP myself from being like this, till i move myself as myself as my directive WILL, within the principle of Oneness and Equality, that which is BEST for all LIFE.




Thanks.



Larry Manuela

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Day 228, Not Wanting/Willing/DARING To Communicate. Part 3

I am now continuing with my next dimension, in relation to this point that has open up as the title of my blog.

For context here is a bit of what i wrote yesterday:




Self-Reward:


I have seen what for FEARS i have accepted and allowed myself and have seen/realized/understood for what reasons i hold on to them, thus now that i am aware of myself as how i created myself to be the whom i am as a mind consciousness system in relation to this specific fear, i can now gift myself the gift to make sure i am more attentive and focused on myself and my words and thus is now able to move withinself-honesty with much clarity and stability.

Problem:




Thought- Dimension:


** Picture of myself trying to explain myself to her
** Picture myself being annoyed/bothersome with hearing what i myself want to share
** Picturing her being annoyed/bothersome with what i want to share with her, thus i keep my mouth shot.




Solution:




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself trying to explain myself to her, to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that having a picture in my mind have nothing to do with the actuality of the moment within reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed msyelf to think/belief that by having a picture of what myself and another might think/belief is actually going to be real in the reality i find myself in.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my thoughts on to her thinking/believing that what is presented within me as my own thoughts is how she will be responding basing this entirely on my mind intepretation as what it has stored up within itself as memory being in separation with reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have given my mind permission to decide for me how to act/move within/as my human physical body/form.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT take my directive WILL and decide for myself in a moment in Breath, what will be BEST for me and others as myself.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture appear within my mind of myself being annoyed/bothersome with myself as to what i want to share with her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a picture within myself of me being annoyed/bothersome and then project this onto her as if this is exactly how she will react if i were to share what i want to share with her.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that projecting a picture on to her is actually doing something that will change the reality, when the only reality that it is changing is my own mind-reality and not the actual reality as this physical world/reality/existence.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to change myself as i interact with another, in this case with her by having thoughts and thus by changing my interaction i perceive this as changing reality, but in reality i am NOT changing reality but i am creating consequences within reality for myself and others as myself that are NOT Best for ALL.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through my thoughts, to influence myself to act/move in certain/specific way that have an outflow of a world/reality of inequality/separation.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand to what extent i am busy influencing reality through my participation within/as thoughts that have nothing to do with this physical world/reality.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to by picturing her being annoyed/bothersome with what i might share with her, i then choose to remain silent.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself be silent just because of my own mind interpretation of what reality could be like, without ever standing still and realize that what i am busy doing as thinking how reality could be like and how she could react or not within it, that that reality itself IS NOT like that at all in the moment i am busy thinking that the reality would be like, and also that it could actually happen like that or not, all of it is NOT HERE.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that by NOT being HERE within and as my breath and my human physical body one and equal i am in fact NOT HERE and i am missing what is HERE in every moment of breath.




Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into picturing myself trying to explain to her what i want to share, I STOP take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then from this clarity and stability i then communicate with her in a moment what i need to share with her in a moment.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into having pictures within my mind, which have nothing to do with reality/are NOT reality, I STOP----------take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using thoughts to intepret reality as IF what appears within my mind as thoughts are what really are going to take place, I immediately STOP--------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focus on my breathing, and meanwhile i am focusing on my deep breathing i hold my hands together to remind myself that i am HERE, and to not give attention to the thoughts that are appearing within my mind, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting my thoughts onto her, I STOP------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focus on my breathing and do not give the thoughts attention just observe them and if there comes reactions within me i self-forgive myself for having that particular reaction within me and let it all go in my Out-breath.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into giving my mind permission to decide for me in a moment, I STOP-----take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and remind myself by holding my hands together that i am HERE and the one that is actually HERE as the human physical body/form IS the one that have to take its self-responsibility and its own dirtective-WILL.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into picturing myself being annoyed/bothersome with myself as in what i want to share with her, I STOP-------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and within this see/realize/understand for myself that my thoughts are NOT what reality is and can never be.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting my thoughts onto her, to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and remind myself by holding my hands together that what i am busy doing, thus the thoughts i am busy creating within my mind have nothing to do with what is actually HERE, and thus i keep on breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this clarity and stability I then act/move/communicate.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into changing my self-behaviour or my self-movement, based on thoughts that have nothing to do with reality with her, I STOP------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the miond as energy, so i can then interact with her form a basis of clarity and stability within and as myself one and equal.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself NOT going into directing myself to act/move in a way that is BEST for all, to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, within and as my breath and my human physical body/form and remind myself that as being one and equal with and as my human physical body/form alone i can be REAL.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into having pictures within my own mind about her maybe/possibly becoming/being annoyed/bothersome with what i want to share and thus i want to remain in silence, I STOP, take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this stand and stance of clarity and stability i can then see if i being silent is necessary or not, and thus NOT from my mind perspective but from the perspective of BEING HERE, as the whom i am as the human physical body/form Breathing.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into missing out on reality through my own participation in thoughts, I immediately STOP------take a deep breath and Earth myself back HERE and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this point of clarity and stability i then act/move/interact/communicate.






Self-Reward:



As i now have worked out my thoughts in regards to how i want/will/dare to communicate with another and i see how i fool myself and also sabotage myself into NOT being HERE when taking participation within them, it makes it easier to for the next time(s) similar points arrive to immediately see them for what they are and i can then STOP myself much faster and be more attentive to how i interact with another and in this case with her, thus i have open a door/an opportunity for myself to find a way to NOT get lost in thought off shootings as pictures in my mind that are not real, and that are only past memories of what the mind interpreted.




Thanks.




Larry Manuela

Join us at: DESTENI

Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world, and i mean ALL: EQUALMONEY

Support our research and by one or more of our educational products that will surely blow your mind:   EQAFE

Walk yourself out of your illusion back into the physical LIFE substance through using the tools in this course: DIP

Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/