Now understand in my life, i have dealt with lots and lots of girls/women whom have been into these kinds of situations. There is this peculiar thing about the men of my race, of my culture so to speak, most of them are womanizers. I say this because the boyfriend is a guy of my race. Having a lot of women, or worse yet lying to a lot of women in order to get them in bed. It is like a common thing. In my culture it is almost broadly acceptable in a way, even though the women are critisizing it, don't like it but yet it is still there, or HERE. They are like accepting it that the men are just men and that is what men does, walking around like horny individuals looking for holes to fill. Some of the men whom are doing these things are so proud of themselves when they can say i have 10 or 12 children, and each with a different woman. Because to them (the men) it means they are very good at looking for woman to have sex with, like this is a job to be proud of and a very honorable thing to engage in.
Now most of the times between all the women they are having sex with there is always one they will like the most, and this one is the one that they are going to abuse even more. I am talking about being very dominant to her, being very jealous, hitting her, lots of verbal abuse, and sometimes even murdering them. Because they so-called: ''love'' that one woman. Now because they(the men) know what they are doing and also know that the majority of men in their country or culture are just like them, the possibility exists that when they are busy humping one of the other women, that the one they love may be doing the same thing. Because most of the times these women have found out that they are fucking around. So these men now become very affraid to ''loose'' their so-called: '' my sweetheart, the one I love.'' I am being sarcastic here......loll
So i was explaing to this friend of mine, that she is forgetting the I that is loving, The I that is going through hurt, the I that is being emotional about the whole thing, and the I that is trying to fix the relationship. As i was talking to her i also realized within that moment even though i did see this in common sense already, but it really dawn upon me so to speak, like it is very clear, it is in my blood that this is so, not as a belief but as a direct seeing it as this is whom i am, this is ME.
I told her, what she is forgetting is herself, all that she is going through is all her creation within herself as the feeling/emotions she is experiencing, without her there will be no feelings of love, and her boyfriend cannot GIVE her these feelings ever. All that is going on within her is all her own energetic creation about this boyfriend of hers. So she is in reality LOVING herself.
Now this what i just wrote up here, it may be common sensical to some of you or maybe to some not at all. The thing is, that i see this very clear, it is totally clear in common sense what this means. So clear that falling in love for me will never happen again, because i know it is false, it is not practical nor factual, it only exists because I give it my power to exist, so whom am I, when I am the ONE who give love the power to exist and be experienced within me..?? So i asked this friend these questions. I asked her, where is the YOU, that is letting yourself feel the thing you call love..?? How is it possible for the creator of the feeling to now that you are going through the feeling and have accepted it, have allwoed yourself to go so low that The feeling is now MORE then YOU..?? And YOU know within you that this feeling of love is NOT 24/7 in every moment of breath existent within you, but yet YOU are HERE in every moment of breath Existing. Why do rely on something just because it ''feels'' good...??? Are you not the Creator of this ''feeling good'' experience..??? This YOU is very important to understand, this YOU that is going through all these experiences..??
So to Sabotage oneself as this YOU, this I for what this YOU/I itself have created to be experienced within itself as itself where the creation itself now is MORE then the YOU/I, something must be terribly wrong. Without the YOU/I, there is no experience of LOVE at all, none of these things can exist without this YOU, this I...!! So how come i can give my whole living away for something that i just experience for awhile/occassionally...?? What does this tell me about myself..?? This tells me that i DO NOT know at all whom I am as LIFE, as the ONE that can create such experiences within me. Now the specificity of HOW i am creating these experiences within me is another story, that i myself still will have to walk for years in order to see how i do that in specificity and detail, so i can STOP myself creating myself in separation to myself and to harm LIFE by doing so, thus harming myself.
So, any of you whom are reading this, i ask you to ask yourself these questions to yourself, be honest with yourself. These questions can open up a new avenue for you to make a decision in your life to choose LIFE...!!! And then your walk starts to finding out whom you are for real, and then change you so we can change this world. For this world to change all of us HAVE to change. Within humanity as a group it is all the YOU's as the I's that are making it possible for us to live the way we live, and the way we live at the moment is NOT what is BEST for all of us nor for the REST of the manifestations and forms of LIFE equals as US.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
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