DAY 368, Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) PART 2

So now, I am continuing with having a look at this point of GSA.

For those of you who haven't read the earlier blog, here is the link to it.

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2015/12/day-367-genetic-sexual-attraction-gsa.html


                                                                     

I left off yesterday questioning; " love," " bondage," and " sex,"  within these cases. With these exceptional cases, suddenly words that are regarded as highly powerful/valuable and wonderful and right and what not, are being seen as weakness, as powerless, as having no value, bad and negative, disgusting even for some people, however for the individuals in question experiencing them, the words are as they are being defined and agreed upon within humanity collectively. So what does this mean? Does it mean that because these are all words not necessarily lived, however more so, experienced as an energetic experience that they are deceptive? Can they be trusted? No matter which side one chooses, it is the physical part that is what is being used as measurement to give these words that have an energetic charge as an experience within, their value.

Now lets talk about what is the reason behind people treating these cases as incest. Understand that incest in this world, or majority of countries if not all is punishable by law. People can go to jail for this.
Within incest the words: " disloyalty,"  " dishonesty," " bullying," " physical/psychological abuse," and " morality"  come into play. Now understand we are still looking at the " how something that is being felt as good within the human beings, is sometimes to be not acceptable in certain circumstances?"  With this I mean, the experience of the feeling of love that occurs between these individuals is the same as others will go through when they also fall in love with someone else, it's the same experience, even though they( individuals in these exceptional cases) say that the feeling is deeper and the bond is more powerful. This of course is personal, within their comparison of what they had before as an energetic experience when were in other relationships.
So, how come we humans can agree on the experience of the feeling of love to be something good, only when it is in accordance with what we determine in a moment what " good"  should be?
Can one see where I am going with this? I am focusing on the " the feeling of love." I am showing you through walking through these questions, how the feeling of love even though it is experienced as something " good," " positive," " wonderful," " powerful," " beautiful,"  and what not, it is not equal in practicality, in what the human do with his/her body. The outcome in the physical reality is not always the words that I have shared here that we the human beings use and give to love.
It is as the saying goes: " How can something be so wrong but yet feel so good and wonderful inside?"

Now that we have seen this, what is the lie? Is it not the energetic experiences? So how come we are still measuring our relationships with these? We are measuring relationships based on energy inside of us that are not equal in reality.
To give an example, two people cheating with one another, will tell you that they feel very good inside, they may even love one another, but yet their action/what they are doing together is unacceptable and they are aware of it being unacceptable, however, the FEELINGS inside are being experienced as " positive" " good"  " wonderful" " beautiful" ...............and what not, all these wonderful positive charged energies are being experienced and coined out in words such as these for description and definition of what they're going through.

So the BIG question remains;" how come we are still trusting these things, these energies, when we can see that they are not trustworthy at all to measure reality with?"
Within this we can see when Self-interest steps in, because now we are going to fight against one another to convince or convict one another when these wonderful feelings turns out to be something " wrong," " bad," " negative," according to our own findings.
They will only be what we all describe and define them to be, when it suits us personally in our doings!!!!

Now, how can we solve these problems?

As one can see, this is not only the problem with these people within these particular exceptional cases, however what they experience inside, that which they are using for their defense is the same that all humans experience when they are in love.
So WHO are we to condemn these individuals, calling them names and ostracizing them, when we are aware that what they are going through on the level of experiencing love is the same what we experience in our own relationships we have. Why is their love wrong and ours right? Love cannot be two things, understand that the experience itself is the same inside these people, it is the same positive energy charge that they are going through.

Thus to solve this problem, we all need to start forgiving these feelings, these emotions, these energetic charges we are experiencing inside ourselves, and we also make sure to measure the physical reality with common sense. And common sense is, that which is best for all practically measured and lived, that will have an outcome that is equal and one, best for all.

At desteni, this is what we do, we investigate ourselves, we assess what we do and what we do not do and to see if what we are doing will have an outcome that is best for all practically. As I have walked with you here to show you how we as humans are using love to measure our relationships with, to give it value and importance and to see it as something good, when love itself is not equal in the physical reality as it is being felt inside, the feelings do NOT match the reality outside. The physical reality, how we treat each other in the physical reality IS our truth! This is the WHO we are! What we accept and what we allow.

Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study this  proposal which is:  LIG

Day 367 Genetic Sexual Attraction ( GSA)

Let me start with first defining  what this Genetic Sexual Attraction is according to many.

" Genetic Sexual Attraction, is an attraction that occurs between family member whom got reunited for the very first time in their lives, family members whom have never met each other before." 

                                                

This is a highly controversial topic to talk about, because people in this world have certain ideas/believes/judgments about what should and should not be acceptable in societies.

Understand that these cases are more often cases that are exceptional. These are not an everyday occurrences.

About 50% of these people when they first meet, experience a deeper level of bondage that slowly but surely transforms into what we term: " love"  and with love comes: " sexual attraction." 

The majority of the cases wherein this happens is always between a daughter that meets her dad for the very first time after never have met him before in her life. It mostly never happens with a mother meeting for the first time with her son, or a father meeting for the first time with his son. Also brother and sisters or first and second cousins etc etc.....

Let me also add, the WHY, I have chosen this topic to write about, mostly because of 3 words. However also to walk some common sense points in regard to this topic to show how messed up we are in our minds, not condoning nor condemning these particular individuals.

***  LOVE

***  BONDAGE

***  SEX

Because of this phenomenon it makes me question love even more. Now what is love really? What is this intense deep level of " bondage" these individuals go through with one another however they don't go through it with other people? And why is it so intense that it becomes sexual, that it needs an outlet?

Before I continue I also have to add another question: " where in time did we all decide what kind of love is " good" and what kind of love is " bad ?"   Is there such a thing as " good love" and " bad love,"  or are these just figments of our imaginations that have become judgments and justifications. If love was real, would it not be just one thing, just as the word itself, one word, just: " love?" 

Within this, one can already see/realize and understand how we have split/separate/divide love into two things, a love that is being seen as " good " and a love that is being seen as " bad " 

And when do we see it as " bad? ".........................  When there is SEX  involved in relation to these particular EXCEPTIONAL cases.

Seen from the perspective of the individuals experiencing love about one another within these cases, they will tell you that it is " good thing." 

Now they have a problem, because the world is telling them that what they are experiencing as good inside themselves is actually bad, however they do not experience it as bad. They might feel bad about themselves for experiencing these feelings of love about one another, however because they are aware that they are being judged for it, they feel bad about being judged by others, and not per say because the feelings themselves within them is being felt like " bad."

As one can see we have a dilemma now. What is the dilemma? Well it is the following. 

On one side we have two individuals experiencing love within themselves as love is being defined as in this world, you know? Something: " good,"  " beautiful,"  " profound," " serene,"  and what not.............however because it is unacceptable in the eyes of the majority, it MUST be not this kind of love, it must be wrong, they are confused. Are they? Purely looking at the experience of the feeling of love about one another alone, are they?

So now let me add BONDAGE in the mix. The moment these individuals experience what they term a profound and deep level of bondage with one another, is the moment where the body will start to want to have SEX.

Sex for most humans in this world is the ultimate form of intimacy on a physical level, but also on a psychological level. So in other words, for the bondage and the love to have any form of legitimacy and any kind of realness on a physical level, sex must come into play. Sex is like the measurement these individuals take to measure their bondage and love to see for themselves if it is " good." Sex is what makes the circle complete. And because the level of love and bondage is very high between these individuals, sex will be experienced as highly exceptional too, just as is their case.

Here is a video one can watch:

                                                             

Will continue with this in the next blog............

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study this  proposal which is:  LIG

Day 308, When looking for validation started in my life.

I'm going to put the story here first from what happened and then I can work the points out that will come up in the story or because of the story when walking the points, because of this other points that are connected will also come up.

So now. When I was a kid I used to LOVE soccer, and I mean really really LOVE soccer. I will watch soccer games on t.v. and look for the movements the players are making to go afterwards and excercise the movements till I got them and can use them. I would sleep, dream, eat, walk soccer. I knew all the professional players names, when they were born, how many goals they scored, in what position they played on the soccer-field, what were their best movements, what their weaknesses were, I knew the sizes of the soccer-balls, what the strength of them were and the rest of it. All I was thinking about was to become one of the best soccer players in the world. I would come from school and go immediately in the heat of the sun to excercise and excercise till the night will break. Most of the times it would be my mother calling me to come home, that will break my training. When I look back at that period in my life I have to say, that I never did anything thereafter with so much care/passion and dedication in my life practically and mentally, like I did with playing soccer. I just wanted to play, and I got so much fun and satisfaction out of it, that nothing else I did could top that. I was fully commited. I could see how I was becoming better and better. So one day my uncle started training a soccer-team. They asked my uncle to train a soccer-team, because he used to be a great soccer-player when he was young and represented the island very well. He was among the few in his time who was great at playing soccer.  So now I had a team to play in. That was my first time playing for real in a team. On the field I started to noticed how I was becoming more and more one with the ball and everything else that is happening on the field. The moment I get the ball, it's like something changes within my body, I can sense everything. And the more I excercised the more this was becoming evident. But in the beginning I was playing without looking around and made bad passes when passing the ball, and my uncle will tell me to remember to look up and look where the other players are so you can make the decision to whom you are going to pass the ball to next and how you are going to do it, what kind of situation you will create with the pass you will make and things like that. Of course I believe my uncle and the rest of the players did not know what was going on within me, but I was thinking it must be something normal that all soccer-players must be experiencing when they are on the field, so I never spoke about it to anyone. After a while I could just pass the ball to anyone without having to see where they are, this " not looking up" that was kind of like against the soccer-rules, because it is more practical and logical to look up so you can see where you are going to pass the ball when playing, which became my greatest strength. I just knew where they are, and some I did see in the corner of my eyes, but mostly it was just the flow of how everyone is moving on the field that I got. That was what I called it. The flow of the game. When I got into this flow moment on the field, it was like everything was just one, I could hear my heart beating, felt every step my feet made with the ground and the ball, every breath I took I could feel it, when someone comes and touches me with their full body contact on the field I would physically like get lots of information of their condition in that moment, if they are tired, how tired they are, and if they are left-handed or right-handed players I would  know which side they will be very weak at when having to turn, they will always choose to turn on their most strengthful side, thus I will force them to try and turn to their side where they are weak in that moment, because of being tired. All of that happened in seconds of course. I could measure by how my team-mates are running and also the other team, if the team-mates I am playing with will get to the ball I will be passing before one of the defenders of the other team will, and will also choose to pass the ball on the side of the defender where I knew in that moment would be his weakest point to turn and run, all these few little things gave the team I was playing in a little bit more time to move faster and outrun the other team.


                                                             

But with all that I also noticed, that I changed within myself energetically and I couldn't understand it. It felt like when I look back at it, like I was playing for my life, like it was a matter of do or die kind of thing to me. But only to me, no-one was brainwashing us to be like this when we are playing, it just happened to me. And I will turn this energy within myself and place it in the game. But still after playing I could not understand why it was coming up within me so strong. Because I at that time was a very quiet guy, was very introvert as is said. Soccer became like a way to deal with this, warrior kind of feeling thing. Completely not as I understood myself to be when I am not playing. I did look at it within myself but it was more like observing myself. But of course as a kid and not having any ideas at all as to how the mind works and all, would never find out what was happening within me, why I became like this warrior type of guy on the field.


On the field everyone was admiring me, they liked the way I was playing. So when my uncle stopped coaching the team, we went to play in another team, me and my two cousins. And there is where the whole point of this story and the point of validation in my life will become part of my life. It was in that team that I started to want my dad to come and watch me play. This one point I took it at heart as is said.

Everyone liking me on the field did not matter at all, even though I was enjoying myself playing the game very much, but it was this one point that bothered me; my father not coming to watch me play at least once. Because when we went to play in the stadium, all the other kids their fathers will come, but my father never came, he was always working, helping someone with some machine that broke down. That is my fathers passion in life, helping people in that way, and he is really good at fixing things technically, he is very practical in that. So even though I understood why he was doing what he did within myself, I still wanted him to come and see me play at least just once. But as I said, he never came. One day when I was a kid I did ask him why he never came to see me play, he said, it was because he never in his life liked being in crowded places like stadiums and such. I couldn't understand it really as a kid, but I just accepted it. And on the field itself or better. in the team I was at that time playing, the coach even though that he was finding me very good playing when we are practising, but  would always let me sit on the bench when we have a match to play, because he had already at that time when I came into the team his star-players, the players that would always form part of the playing team when we have a match. And the day that he eventualy did put me just for maybe 5 minutes in the game because of my uncle almost bagging him to do so when the game was near finishing, I did showed everyone that I could handle those big guys and did very well almost scored even after slaloming between everyone, but took the decision in the end to be a team-mate, but yet the other guy I passed the ball to did not give me the ball back and decided to shoot at the goal and missed, when I was totally open and with 100% certainty to score. I knew for sure that, that moment would have changed my soccer-carreer for good. Little by little all these points became like unbearrable and I started to treat my beloved game, my true passion as a joke. I didn't take it serious any longer and eventually I stopped playing completely, and never became what I dreamt to be/become.


                                                                           

So the whole validation point to this story, was my father that never came to the games to see me play. It felt like what I did was not of his interest enough to come see me playing. I never hated my father for that or anything like that, because I did understand his fear for being in crowded places when I grew older and also his passion for always helping people with their broken machines by fixing them. But yet I did let this judgment of him not being there to see me play influence the game I truly loved as I said and also the decisions I made and will make in my life in my future. I felt like this great sadness within me, like what I was doing for myself that I really cared about was not really worthy enough for my dad to come see me play at least once.




Self-Forgivenesses:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never do anything else with so much passion and dedication as I did when I was playing soccer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up the enjoyment of actually expressing myself physically as I did when I was playing soccer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that only one thing that I aspire to, should be something that I can commit myself to completely and fully.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself feel defeated and thus create within myself a defeated mechanism that will give up on what I am making myself believe that I was defeated on or against.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud within myself about my uncle being a soccer-caoch, just because he is my uncle and then he is representing the whole family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that someone's achievements is about the representation that person will project that will make others within his/her immediate circle to be proud or stand out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to be proud or stand out within a group or even alone, where I will be judged and validated by others as myself as better then them or others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I have to be better then others as myself in order to be better in whatever I am busy expressing myself within and as, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am creating a separation within and as myself to/towards others as myself and then from there see them as competitors instead of other people where I can share my expression with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I was almost obsessed with the game of soccer, so much so that it became a matter of do or die to me, even though I was liking and enjoying the game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conceptualize the experience of " do or die," within me as me being passionate and satisfied with the game, when in reality I was feeding my ego as this personality that will come up when I am in the heat of the game, as I will enjoy becoming this personality as this personality is the driving force of the energy I will gain to play very good when playing the game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let energy be the decisive factor within my expression of playing the game of soccer without seeing/realizing and understanding that little by little I was not expressing myself physically here anymore within and as playing the game, but was more stisfying my energy desire that was being energized within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like it when my mother will call me home, interupting my training, when I knew I have had more then enough training for that day and will be irritated by the fact of my mother calling me home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold in the secret of my mind my father responsible for the my failure of becoming a professional soccer player, when in reality all of it was purely my own responsibility to/towards myself to just continue pushing myself and not give up on myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself unconditionally for what I have accepted and allowed about myself as what I experienced as failing at soccer, the game I loved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find my father telling me that he doesn't like to be in crowded places as an excuse to not have to come to see me play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that when my father told me that he didn't like being in crowded places that he was just lying, because I have seen him being perfectly well in crowded places when there were carnaval in the country.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare the crowd at carnaval and the crowd at the stadium as being the same, when in reality I do know that the crowd in a stadium is different then a crowd at te carnaval standing along the sideway of the road and watching.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an energetic emotion of anger mixed with rage within me when I am playing soccer, and that I liked being in this state, because I was using it to transform the game I was playing, and that when I become like this within myself I was playing better and being very much focused within myself with everything else that is happening on the field and around the field.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that the emotion of anger mixed with rage was something all the other soccer players must be going through also, just because they are also soccer players and that is what all soccer players must be experiencing inside.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my believe I have created within myself about the personality I have created within myself to use it in my self-interest in order to perform better in the game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the personality I have created within and as myself to make decisions on my behalf when I am busy playing the game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as being something special because I could sense certain information about other players when playing on the field, especially when there is full body contact in a moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that the special feeling was a my gift that was given to me that would propel me into becoming one of the best soccer players in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have patience with myself when everything was not going my way and due to this, instead of stopping myself and change myself to push myself to stand up and continue, I gave up and eventually stopped playing soccer forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from that first day that I have given up on the game I loved the most, I have taken this behavior into other aspects of my life, that will become part of my life in my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern of giving up as in: "when the tough get going, the going get tough," to exist within  and as my life.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I was actually giving up on my own dream without giving it my best and my all.



To be continued.............................................




Thanks.



Larry Manuela




Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

Day 198, Why Can't We Let Love Go And See Reality..??

Common sense is very difficult for intellectual people, and for people that have all kinds of believes.  The moment the topic of love is on the table everyone seem to become personal about it.

                                                                     

Common sense about this love is easy. One can look at it on many levels and from different approaches.

We all know we are NOT walking around in every breath experiencing this feeling we call love, it have to be impulsed according to specific symbols we have created and hold as valuable within ourselves. So whatever that is outside that we see/hear/touch that are specific to these symbols as ourselves within ourselves will give of a signal, an impulse, a frequency. When we experience this we will experience this as the feeling of love. Now all this is happening within oneself.

No-one is giving it to oneself, it is oneself ALONE creating it. For a indepth explanation of the man who can stand as what he speak as the words he is, i suggest to hear this interview so you can grasp it:

The more i explore this love thingy, the more i see how insignificant it is to love like we love in this current world, which only implies, having FEELINGS about another or something. And this feeling we are having about another and other things are preferences we have, that is why it is impossible to love everyone and everything the same in the current world as we humans love. We have different levels of feeling love. So how can one trust someone that is like this, like a rollercaoster inside ..??


Thus, because people are allowing themselves to fall in love and feel love as an energy within them, they will with much difficulty stop this within themselves and start to physically feel reality as the physical reality that is constantly and consistently here.



If you are reading this and you have HEARD the common sense explanation done by Bernard Poolman, i will suggest you start to question seriously your love that you are feeling, it is so simple to find out that it is equal and one with this physical reality.

You can ask yourself the following questions by being self-honest with yourself:

Why do i love..??
Is love LIFE as is being said in many religions..??
Why do the love i feel for certain people vary..??
Why do i accept that love have to happen to me unexpectedly..??
Why do i not feel this love for strangers..???
How come i can't love strangers...??
Love is suppose to be that which binds/unify/to care/to have compassion, but yet i do not see this binding and unification nor caring and compassion going on in this world in humanity at all, the ones that love, how come...???
Why am i not 24/7 feeling this love for the ones i so-called love, i only feel this love for them in certain moments, when i am impulsed and it's intensity gets less and less as the years passes by, how come...??
If it was true that in every family the mothers and the fathers are loving their children and teaching their children how to love, how come the world is still not a lovely place, because the majority of things we create are not things that people that love would create at all, so how come...??
What is really important and of value..........love or LIFE...???   Which one is always HERE..??
Can i really conclude that to love is NOT to live...??


And if God is love as many belief, those whom belief that there is a God, then this God is less then LIFE and is something that appears and disappears and needs to be generated.


So if you belief that there is a god and that this god is love, well lo and behold what this love is capable of, look at the whole world very very closely that was supposedly created by this god and ask yourself if this is a creation out of love where ''kill or be killed'' is the mode everywhere....???


So let god and love go, they are not needed for you to LIVE, to live is to express yourself as LIFE....!!!



Thanks.


Larry Manuela




Join us at: DESTENI







Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world in the form as:EQUALMONEY








Support our research and buy one or more educational products that will for sure blow your mind, at: EQAFE








Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/


And for better understanding of the living words, visit our destonian Wiki website: http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Day 185, The Whole love Story Again..!!

Now i have a friend that is a girl and she is going through some troubles within her relationship with her boyfriend. Because she can see that i know a lot of stuff about love and relationship and things like that she is asking me questions and wanting to find out about what is going on with her, why she feels the way she feels and why it is she just can't let him go, that she must keep on trying to make the relationship work, even though the boyfriend cheated on her like 4 times already.

                                                              


Now understand in my life, i have dealt with lots and lots of girls/women whom have been into these kinds of situations. There is this peculiar thing about the men of my race, of my culture so to speak, most of them are womanizers. I say this because the boyfriend is a guy of my race. Having a lot of women, or worse yet lying to a lot of women in order to get them in bed. It is like a common thing. In my culture it is almost broadly acceptable in a way, even though the women are critisizing it, don't like it but yet it is still there, or HERE. They are like accepting it that the men are just men and that is what men does, walking around like horny individuals looking for holes to fill. Some of the men whom are doing these things are so proud of themselves when they can say i have 10 or 12 children, and each with a different woman. Because to them (the men) it means they are very good at looking for woman to have sex with, like this is a job to be proud of and a very honorable thing to engage in.

Now most of the times between all the women they are having sex with there is always one they will like the most, and this one is the one that they are going to abuse even more. I am talking about being very dominant to her, being very jealous, hitting her, lots of verbal abuse, and sometimes even murdering them. Because they so-called: ''love'' that one woman. Now because they(the men) know what they are doing and also know that the majority of men in their country or culture are just like them, the possibility exists that when they are busy humping one of the other women, that the one they love may be doing the same thing. Because most of the times these women have found out that they are fucking around. So these men now become very affraid to ''loose'' their so-called: '' my sweetheart, the one I love.'' I am being sarcastic here......loll


So i was explaing to this friend of mine, that she is forgetting the I that is loving, The I that is going through hurt, the I that is being emotional about the whole thing, and the I that is trying to fix the relationship.  As i was talking to her i also realized within that moment even though i did see this in common sense already, but it really dawn upon me so to speak, like it is very clear, it is in my blood that this is so, not as a belief but as a direct seeing it as this is whom i am, this is ME.

I told her, what she is forgetting is herself, all that she is going through is all her creation within herself as the feeling/emotions she is experiencing, without her there will be no feelings of love, and her boyfriend cannot GIVE her these feelings ever. All that is going on within her is all her own energetic creation about this boyfriend of hers. So she is in reality LOVING herself.
Now this what i just wrote up here, it may be common sensical to some of you or maybe to some not at all. The thing is, that i see this very clear, it is totally clear in common sense what this means. So clear that falling in love for me will never happen again, because i know it is false, it is not practical nor factual, it only exists because I give it my power to exist, so whom am I, when I am the ONE who give love the power to exist and be experienced within me..??  So i asked this friend these questions. I asked her, where is the YOU, that is letting yourself feel the thing you call love..??   How is it possible for the creator of the feeling to now that you are going through the feeling and have accepted it, have allwoed yourself to go so low that The feeling is now MORE then YOU..?? And YOU know within you that this feeling of love is NOT 24/7 in every moment of breath existent within you, but yet YOU are HERE in every moment of breath  Existing. Why do rely on something just because it ''feels'' good...???  Are you not the Creator of this ''feeling good'' experience..???  This YOU is very important to understand, this YOU that is going through all these experiences..??   


So to Sabotage oneself as this YOU, this I for what this YOU/I itself have created to be experienced within itself as itself where the creation itself now is MORE then the YOU/I, something must be terribly wrong. Without the YOU/I, there is no experience of LOVE at all, none of these things can exist without this YOU, this I...!!   So how come i can give my whole living away for something that i just experience for awhile/occassionally...??  What does this tell me about myself..??  This tells me that i DO NOT know at all whom I am as LIFE, as the ONE that can create such experiences within me. Now the specificity of HOW i am creating these experiences within me is another story, that i myself still will have to walk for years in order to see how i do that in specificity and detail, so i can STOP myself creating myself in separation to myself and to harm LIFE by doing so, thus harming myself.




So, any of you whom are reading this, i ask you to ask yourself these questions to yourself, be honest with yourself. These questions can open up a new avenue for you to make a decision in your life to choose LIFE...!!!  And then your walk starts to finding out whom you are for real, and then change you so we can change this world. For this world to change all of us HAVE to change.  Within humanity as a group it is all the YOU's as the I's that are making it possible for us to  live the way we live, and the way we live at the moment is NOT what is BEST for all of us nor for the REST of the manifestations and forms of LIFE equals as US.




Thanks.



Larry Manuela





Join us at: DESTENI







Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world in the form as:EQUALMONEY








Support our research and buy one or more educational products that will for sure blow your mind, at: EQAFE








Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/


And for better understanding of the living words, visit our destonian Wiki website: http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Day 183, Am I Cold-Hearted..??

So, now i am going to write about myself.  You see since i was young i have managed to create a defence mechanism within myself as to just let something go completely in the moment, especially if it has to do with something traumatic, something that i know for sure it is out of my control, that i can't do anything about it, so i just let it go.  I don't keep thinking about them and ingite emotions within myself about them, when all this to other people may seem as if i am a cold-hearted individual. Because i am suppose to be emotional about these things like anyone else, this is what is being considered ''normal behaviour.''

  

                                                                       
                                                                 

But am i cold-hearted or am i just looking at reality as it is and how there are some things within it that i cannot change in the moment or ever, i just leave it to what it is...??


Now my mum and dad are little by little starting to become forgetfull. Alzheimer is kicking in slowly but surely. Now this thing to most people that have their parents going through this, will find it hard and all the stuff, but i just embrace it as what it is, it doesn't touch me emotionallly at all, i don't feel sad or anything. It is just what it is, and it is something in this moment on planet earth that i cannot do anything to STOP it for being here when it is here and from my understanding there is no cure for it either. So by embracing all this i can let go of all these emotions/feelings other people will normally go through. I have noticed within myself that by giving them attention, i am fuelling them, so i embrace them instead of following them and giving them attention.


Now even to the people i said i loved them, like family members and my kids, i just said these things in oder to fit in so to speak, because within myself i didn't feel these kinds of feelings everybody is talking about, like it is a great thing to have these feelings, what i can see within myself are moments of an outburst of energy for awhile within me, nothing as grand as everyone is talking about, it is like a minor thing, not something to brag about like everyone is doing, i could never understand this in myself and kept it also always to myself. From all the women i have said that i loved them, whatever that means, i really didn't feel that thing that they were telling me they felt for me, it didn't happen to me like that. But back then because i didn't want to hurt them, i just play along with the whole thing, but it felt really uncomfortable inside. It is  when one knows one is lying, but have to do it anyways, sabotaging oneself to say or do things one would not really like to do or say.


Now i don't want to sound as if i am a special individual or anything or a weirdo or that i  have a gift or whatever of these kind of none sense. I am walking through my process in identifying why i am the way i am and how did i create myself to be like this.  So i have to write my own story in a way to see what will present itself or open up so i can dig into myself and see when and how i created myself to be what i am.


What i can see within myself that there is this fear that comes up first before i take the decision to let go of something that many will go crazy on, or get totally emotional about. It is like an adrenaline rush that happens in seconds, and it overwhelms me and it is so uncomfortable that i want to NOT go through it so i take it completely, as a form of acceptance/an embrace and in this it just stops. Now i have been doing this my whole life in situations that i know for sure are out of my control, where my input won't bring any change at all to the outcome.  I wrote a while back how i went through the whole experience of my son getting very sick and almost died, when he caught a virus when he was just 2 month old. In that situation to, when the doctors told me and the mother that there is nothing they can do to help him and that all depends on his own body, if he is going to live or die, i just took it as it is. My ex. broke down immedaitely by hearing this. Me in that moment felt this adrenaline rush i just mentioned which is a fear of being helpless/powerless and out of control, so i just embrace it and in that embracement it just stops and nothing happens in me and i just focus in this case of my son, by staying with him as much as possible and await and see if his body will fight the virus and win or will the virus win, and then if the virus win, that will be it, he will be gone. So all this i went in fractions of seconds in my mind. 

The reason i embrace these fears is because i don't see their purpose by prolonging them or letting them be in me, because for me to breake down and cry and be emotional is NOT going to change a damn thing about what is really going on anyways. That is how i looked at these things back then. It is a form of anger against the fear that is coming up. Taking revenge on the fear by being angry at it within the embrace of it, thus like taking a hold on it so it doesn't go anywhere.


Now when i look at it now it is that i am fearing my own fear and my way of coping with it was to NOT break down emotionally, because that doesn't change the thing. Thus i create a character/personality within msyelf to deal with these kind of emotions and  psychological traumas. And when this character/personality take over i am relieved in a sense, i experience nothing, because this is the whole purpose and reason for me to create such a character/personality within my mind, you see..?? Because i fear going through emotions that don't make any sense and don't change the situations anyways. So this whole thing is a complete mess, a mix of fear and anger which in reality is the same thing anyways. Anger for not being able to do anything about what is going on, thus being powerless and anger because of some shit emotions wanting to come up that i have no fucking use for anyways, that doesn't change the situation.



Now in the whole love story is another story. Herein i will look at the whole thing as just two people finding each other attractive and then they will have sex and all this is just exciting, but to call it ''love'' i couldn't understand that ever. The love part seem to me, like an adding that is unnecessary. This is how i looked at it back then. So i could see within myself that this excitement is the same excitement i will get for something else to, just the excitement itself, that is all. So what did i do in this one, well i feared wanting to get into something i saw as unnecessary, that didn't make any sense. Because the only reason we were feeling happy is because of the excitement that we were in of knowing that we will fuck each other and how all of that is going to playout. And most if not all of the people that are in love when one ask them what they feel is always this ''happiness.''  Thus to me why that love if it is the excitement that i am feeling, why making it more then it is...??  But we want to give all this some special meaning, and this we will call it love, and the speciality about it is also just because one individual alone out of many will make us ignite such feelings within ourselves, so we then give this individual the power as if it is him/her that did something or whatever, when it is just us alone experiencing our own self-created feelings about them,just because they represent what we ourselves have already in the past have set forth as what it is in a particular person we would like to have in order for us to be loved and all the none sense that goes with it.


I will be doing self-forgiveness and self-commitments in another post................................within the self-forgiveness one can see more layers and patterns,...........




Thanks.


Larry Manuela





Join us at: DESTENI








Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world in the form as:EQUALMONEY










Support our research and buy one or more educational products that will for sure blow your mind, at: EQAFE









Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/




And for better understanding of the living words, visit our destonian Wiki website: http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

136, When Love Is Not Here.

When your mother and father love you and your siblings alone above everyone else and everything else, KNOW that, that will be the love that you will live also which is like a love of revenge wherein every family is revenging other families, as they each show each other, that they will only love theirs and not yours---------------- you love yours and i will love mine, fuck you with yours..!!

When the people in the country and the country itself with the meaning it has for you, where you were born in have much more value than other people in other countries and other countries themselves, Know that your love is separation and love was suppose to be that which joins/binds/unifies.

When we participate in a system that dictate to us, that in order for us to have a LIFE worth living we MUST PAY some individuals whom have declared themselves as OWNERS of land and resources as if they really are the ones that created this earth, when not any human here created the earth, we all have been given the gift of LIFE to thrive here on this planet and all we need to survive and to have a fruitful LIFE with as we live HERE, have been given freely to all of us equally to support us and not JUST humans, all creatures of the earth, for we are all made out of the DUST of the earth. So as long as we continue allowing this foolishness/stupidity we DO NOT love at all.

As long as we wish to also OWN land and resources that are detrimental for all LIFE on earth for ourselves, LOVE will NOT exist in this world.

When your work is about you working to survive and sustain yourself and the ones you proclaim you love and is NOT work that is about SUPPORTING life in the BEST way possible for ALL living things on earth including yourself of course because you are also part of this ALL, KNOW that your love is not HERE.

When you have friends, KNOW that there is NO love in you, for you have chosen to walk with those whom you call friends in separation to those whom you will NOT be friends with.

When you choose any side of a polarity, KNOW that there is NO love in you existent. So for example if you want to be ''good'' and live a ''good life,'' KNOW that it is not out of love, but out of selfishness and FEAR.



When you have any belief that you live by in this world, KNOW that there is no love in you, for beliefs are NOT practical/physical/factual as that what your body that is real consists of and exists as.



When we can go to WAR to so-called protect our country and our people, KNOW that there is NO love HERE in this world in us. For War only destroys LIFE, so can NEVER EVER be an act of peace NOR of love nor of honor..!!




When we can see people and animals  starving but yet do NOT move at all to make sure that STARVATION NEVER ever exist anymore on this planet, know that there is NO love in this world.




When people and animals and plants are dying all over the place without us having any feeling at all about them dying, KNOW that there is no love at all in us existent.




Every time you belief you deserve to be paid more because of your functionality in your pathetic job, KNOW that there is NO love in you, because you want more for you and LESS for others as you as the dust of the earth, as physical manifested form and bodies of LIFE equal as you are.



When opinions of humans are more important and determine what MUST take place and NOT the FACTS of life as how life functions HERE, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.



When education is JUST copying, and NOT learning about how LIFE in all it's forms and manifestations functions HERE for REAL, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.




Every time one allows someone else by oneself to be seen/treated as MORE or LESS then oneself and others, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.




If you hate someone or blame someone for whatever reason, KNOW that there is NO love in you.



If you are unwilling to take your self-responsibility for what is being allowed to be done to LIFE while you are HERE, KNOW that there is no love in you.




If you wish/want/desire to be SAVED by any saviour or by aliens, KNOW that there is NO love in you.



If you want/wish to be succesful in this system and move ahead in this system, KNOW that there is NO love in you, for this system is a system of abuse and rape to LIFE, a crime against LIFE. Real succesful living is when one live always in all ways to bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE in every moment of breath.




When our values are placed in what we belief, whatever they might be and NOT placed in LIFE, that LIFE itself IS the MOST valuable thing, and align everything to it to support ALL LIFE in the BEST possible way, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.


If there exists any reason at all, that you have to/need to LIE, know that there is NO love in this world.



                    ===========================================




Therefore, please forgive yourself as i forgive myself for what we have accepted and allowed to be here, as we are marching on destroying everything in our path for a so-called love that is just a feeling, which is energy, but is NOT real as it NEVER LIVES in this world practically/physically/factually.



Join us at: DESTENI


Have a look at our solution that is REAL practical/physical/factual LOVE, as: EQUALMONEY



Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in how existence functions for real, at: EQAFE




Do the course that will truly for real change your life, so you become a real caring human being, that will live that which is BEST for all LIFE, at: DIP