Day 374, who Am I in the Word Support, Part 2

Thus within the understanding what I have experienced within my own living, I have come to have an understanding about this word.
So the question is, How do I support myself within my own process.

Keywords that I need, to deconstruct the patterns I have created for and about myself.

•  Priority
•  Being nice
•  Refusal
•  Self-judgement
•  Lacking in procedure

This list represents what I have to let go of or change and also what I need to work on, about myself.
For example, when it comes to prioritizing what I need to do or not to do, what comes first and so on I need to work on all that.

                                                               

                                                                   
                                                           

Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life in a certain way wherein I do not prioritize anything, however just do some things in some of the moments they present themselves to me and others I put them on hold and then time keep on passing without me doing them anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put what I have placed as separate from me on hold as not me and in this not attending and assessing me so I can stand one and equal with and as who I am in this moment and then making sure that  I can direct myself as me as one as equal as all as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand, that prioritizing my personal life on any level means me standing up within and as myself, pushing me to take a stand and stance within myself to what I will accept  and allow within me and to what I will not accept and allow within me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to prioritize my personal process in a way I am aware I can live it to my best abilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not personalize and prioritize my process in a way that will work best for me, because I keep on looking for ways to find a way to do all of that in my head but not put any into practice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for a way to compress my own process in my head, however not seeing/realizing/ and understanding that the only compression that will take place is in the actual doing itself, and not looking for ideas to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for too long to live this character manifestation of " being nice" in my life, to an extent that it has become part of who I am in this world, where I see that within it, I suppress myself for others, I neglect myself, my own personal process to heed the plight of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind this character of " being nice" in order to not really be direct as what I see is not acceptable, however use this " being nice" character to not get myself into so called: " trouble."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as a nice person, because of my fear of being in trouble with other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting into trouble with other people because of what I have told myself about myself, because of a few incidents that happened within my life in the past wherein I would literally become rage, because I have accepted and allowed anger to turn into rage and then use rage to force my body into real physical fights, wherein only rage as anger exists and I accept and is willing to even die like this in that moment.

let me take a moment here, to really look into this rage thingy. First there is this fear that comes up within me as backchat and I say then to myself: "  I might get my ass kicked by this person,"  then this fear because of what I have told myself turns into anger, and it turns into anger because I do not accept another abusing another just because they believe they can, thus me having this judgement about them in that moment turns into this rage wherein I do not give a F*** anymore, and I in that moment embrace the rage totally, like cacooning myself into this rage, because when I do that there is no more experience of fear, just rage is left over, I feel no more pain, or if there is pain, it makes me as this rage worse. Like the pain makes the rage go higher. I found that when the other person look at me they can see that rage in me and I can see they get scared, and because I can see that in their faces, I become abusive, because I have learnt that when someone else see no fear in your face or eyes or the way you move your body, it makes them fearful, thus when one does not express fear, the one that fears will get into more fear within themselves. Thus because I could see that I abused them. Thus in other words, the rage possession takes over, I allow it to take over, and use it totally into my self-interest advantage. Thus I took a moment of abuse done to me and turns it into abuse done BY me, exactly what I, myself did not accept about others abusing another. Thus I became the abuser myself in that moment.

Thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: " I might get my ass kicked by this person," to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the fear within me to be ass-kicked by another person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fear of possibly being ass-kicked by another person to transform it into anger and then use anger to transform it into rage, all by all energies within and as my mind consciousness system to fuel itself within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another as myself as being abusive, without seeing/realizing/ and understanding that there exists self-abuse within myself that I haven't worked out yet, thus instead of working them out, I make the decision to separate me from them and project it out of me unto another as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get into rage, because within this energy within myself I can abuse another physically, because it gives me a false sense of power and control over another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have power and control over another and  in a way fear it and like it at the same time, making sure by fearing and liking it, to continue with having it within me, because by fearing it, I am trying to avoid it, and by liking it, I accept it and can abuse another as myself with it to suit my self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of power within me when I see that I am busy igniting fear in another as myself and within this use that as a weapon to abuse the other, because he is accepting and allowing the fear about me to exist within him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become the very manifestation of abuser that I in the beginning of starting a fight did not accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have abused others more than a dozen times in my life, because of having power and control over them, because I see fear in them, instead of choosing to assist and support them to not be in fear and also for myself to assist and support myself to not go into fear myself that turns into rage, that than have an outflow of physical abuse to/towards another as myself.


To be continued..................................



Thanks.


Larry Manuela

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Day 366, Do You Think You Are Gonna Make It? PART3

So no continuing with now the last phases of the working out of the points regarding this particular question to myself.

For context here are the links to the previous blogs relating to this point.

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2015/11/day-365-do-you-think-you-are-gonna-make.html

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2015/10/day-364-do-you-think-you-are-gonna-make.html

Self-Commitment statements:

I realize that I am within my mind wanting to give up on what it is that I need to do within my life, within this world, thus I keep on back chatting about it within my mind consciousness system.

I realize that I am not in every moment when I am allowing back chats to surface within me. to actually stop participation in them, however I go with the flow of the back chat within my mind.

I realize that I have created  fear based personalities in order for me to be against myself to make sure I do not have to change me into someone that only do what is best for all life.

I realize that I fear my own creations within myself forgetting and/or not seeing/realizing and understanding that I am the creator of them within and as me.

I realize that I let fear influence my decision makings instead of my common sense directive, life principled based.

I realize that I want to get rid of my mind consciousness system, because I think and belief that would be the easy way out, even though I am aware that the mind consciousness system is what I have become and cannot do that in the moment.

I realize that I am seeing and treating my own mind consciousness system as THE enemy, without wanting to understand the HOW I created this so called enemy to represent myself.

I realize that I am thinking and believing that I can win from my mind, even when I am on some deeper levels of myself aware that this process is not about winning or losing, however it is about standing within and as myself as life HERE. I do see/realize and understand that winning and losing is of and as the mind, a polarity/opposite game where the mind is always the winner, because when I participate it can generate energy from my body to continue its existence within and as my body and within and as the world through me.

I realize that I too much focus on all the points I have to work out about myself to change myself, telling myself to give up or give in, however I avoid focusing on the part of me that do not want to give up nor give in, however more want to really just stand and take stance and live that which is best for all of life.

I realize that I am doing less and less, because of letting/allowing myself participation within and as my mind consciousness system, wherein I loose focus in what needs to be done in every moment.

I realize that I am wishing and desiring and wanting a big shit to hit the fan, my world to collapse before I can direct myself into doing much much more, as if that is the only way I accept about myself that I will then be able to really stand and take a stance.

I realize that my wishes/wanting/desires for shit to hit the fan in my life and in everyone else life has to do with me keeping the judgment alive within myself in order to not move myself and actually change myself in be/becoming that which is best for all life, thus using all of this as a justification to not engage in changing myself.

Thus within all this, when and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into wanting to give up on myself and on life, I take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself making decisions based in fear or on fear and not common sense, as that which is best for all life, I take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into treating and seeing my mind consciousness system as THE ENEMY, I stop----------take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to fix my focus on those things that make me want to give up and give in on myself, I STOP..................... take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

When and as I see myself deliberately acting as if I am not aware that I am the one creating the the creations as thoughts/fears/emotions/judgments within myself, I stop.............. take a deep breath and bring myself back here, ground myself till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to stick to my focus on changing me in real moments of application within my personal daily live, and put the focus on the solution side of the coin and not on the problem side of the coin, because I am aware within myself that EVERY problem has a solution.

I commit myself to really have a very good look at myself within making decisions, so when I do so they are not fear based, however are common sense based with an outcome embedded in it that will lead to that which is best for all practically.

I commit myself to really practicing in moments really embracing myself as mind as who I am now first and forgive me as it to not treat my mind as my enemy, however as the part of me I need to understand




Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

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Day 365, Do You think You Are Gonna Make It? Part 2

Now continuing with the second phase of forgiveness statements.

What I wrote previously is to be found HERE

Self-forgiveness statements continuation:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly wanting/desiring/wishing to get rid of my mind consciousness system, even tho I am aware that I cannot do that in the moment, because it is what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as whom I am in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mind consciousness system as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as my enemy, as that something that I have to defeat, that something that I have to be against it, that something that I have not try and follow what it tells me to follow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly be fighting within myself against my own mind, forgetting that within this fighting I am actually keeping the mind at bay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can win from my mind, when I am aware that within this process there is no such thing as winning or losing, only just standing as myself within and as life here equal and one, and that within this point it is not a point of winning from the mind, however it is a point of me being aware of who and what I am as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to many times wanting to give up on myself, seeing no way out but to just give up and give in, ignoring that part within me that still no matter what wants to keep on standing/going/not giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give value and importance within this point of myself where I am aware that I am standing even tho I am also aware that I am like in some points doing less and less, and by focusing on these less and less of my doings, I am in actuality really doing less and judging myself about or feeling bad about within and as myself, because of myself being aware of what I am accepting and allowing within and as myself, and especially being aware too as to what to do to stop me in participating in doing less and less.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes see like there is nothing changing within me as me as the mind as energy and that I would rather just give up and leave it to what ever happens, happens.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so angry at myself and also at other people in my environment, because of us not really really standing and taking a real stance and say, till here and no further, enough is enough, and thus wishing/wanting/desiring for a big shit to hit the fan for everyone so we can all see together in that there is no other way out but to be one and equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to many times wish/desire/want the system of money to just collapse, not today or tomorrow, but yesterday, so we can all go through what many people and other life forms are going through in this world now and for many generations, so everyone can understand in one go, that we need to stop what we are, how we are creating and create only that which will be best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that within my suffering wishes for everyone I am having, that I am actually being self-centered and also not having trust within myself that I can do something about it without having to have so much suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to too much thinking/believing that in order for me and humanity as a whole to really stop and take a stand and stance, would be to first go through major catastrophes of all kinds, all happening together at the same time so no one is left out as a special one without experiencing some suffering/hardship/difficulty in their lives, so that we can all have a real chance of changing the course and the way we are living with one another and everything else.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly wish/desire everyday for things to get really really difficult for everyone including myself, all our buttons being pushed together at the same time so we can all see/realize and understand where and why we need to be responsible for all of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this wanting, this wish, this desire so much that I use it as an excuse within my mind in order for me not to move, not to do something, not to really do all I can do within my power to bring about that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept anger to exist within me and wherein my focus and attention is on the anger and on the reason I believe I am angry about someone or something and wherein I loose myself being against it within my mind and actually not moving myself to change myself to be/become a beacon in this world and truly do what is within my power to change those things that I am angry about in the world.



To be continued................

Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Day 361, The anger that consumes me, Part 2

O.k. Here I am with the continuation of the blog that I wrote before this one,  For context, I suggest to read that one here if one will here.

This where I left off in previous blog:



" When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into reacting against something in anger within my mind consciousness system, I stop................take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that by allowing anger to exist within me, within my mind I am thinking and believing that it means that at least I am caring somehow, because " I am thinking about others that have less than me," as if "thinking about it is caring." 

Therefore, I commit myself to just stop myself thinking about those whom I have judged as living in circumstances and situations that are challenging, and actually start to get myself involved more practically with the actual doing, moving to/towards solutions that will bring about a change that will be best for all life." 

Self-commitment statements continuing:

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into participating in anger within and as myself and allowing it to be fueled up within myself, by myself, I stop........................ take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am allowing anger to be fueled within myself by myself, because of a deep seated self-created believe that somehow if I am angry at something or someone, I am being against that which I, myself has judged as faulty/wrong/bad/negative, within my own mind consciousness system, thus being angry against all of these is a " good/positive/right"  thing to do/to be, when in reality it is a war I am creating within and as my own mind, using projection judgement about what I see happening in the world, that have some similarity, or are totally similar to that which I have judged as faulty/wrong/bad/negative, thus reason enough within my mind consciousness system to be against it. However instead of working it out practically, I dwell in it, and allow it to consume me.

Therefore, I commit myself to really push myself into actually moving myself and doing what needs to be, because I already have the tools to work with, now rests the applying part. Thus I work on the applying part little by little till it becomes like brushing my teeth facing each point within myself, bringing myself to clarity and clearness, the point of understanding.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into in a creepy/strange way, enjoying being angry within and as myself to/towards myself and others as the whole world, I stop----------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I enjoy in a " creepy/strange way,"  being angry within myself, because I have become addicted to the energy of anger within me, and justify it with " being right"  about being angry at certain outcomes and certain groups and certain specific people in this world, including myself.

Thus within this, I commit myself to first release myself from this anger that consumes me and that I see, that I even enjoy, because it gives me a point of wanting to be against that which I have judged as " faulty/bad/wrong/negative specifically, using the tools provided by desteni as in Self-Forgiveness and Self-Commitments derived from common sense introspection.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into being angry at humanity at large because of what I see I have accepted and allowed to happen to life on my watch, I stop--------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am putting the blame on humanity for where I lack doing something that is practical solution-wise and will have an outcome that will be best for all.

Therefore, I commit myself to push myself to look more into coming up with practical solutions that is best for all that I am capable of doing in a moment and in this manner learn little by little how to be like this, and taking little by little more complicated practical solutions as part of my living expression.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into fearing a self-created imagination of what might become an outcome that is even worse than what exists now on this earth, I stop--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am fearing these imaginations of possible outcomes within myself not so much because of what can happen to humanity and/or to life on earth, however more so, because of self-interested reasons as in, myself having to go through these or members of my family having to go through these.

Thus within this, I commit myself to only look at the self-interest that exists within me from the perspective of measuring myself as to see/realize and understand where I am taking self-responsibility to life or not, and doing what needs to be done to actually bring about in this world, that which will be best for all life, and in this way transforming self-interest into that which is the best interest of/for all.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into fearing losing a job in this world, I stop-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am fearing losing a job, because of what I already am aware that will happen when one looses a job in this world, especially in this day and age, where it is very challenging to get a new one, and having many other factors relating to it which makes it even more challenging, and bringing it all to the base, it is about being aware that one will be in a situation where one will be having to go through less money or no money, or at least not enough to cover all the monthly expenses that will not change to accommodate ones situation, which I find unfair given the amount of time gives to the system when one DO have a job in the system. One support the system 100% when one is working, however when one falls out of the system, the system will only support one 60 to 40 % depending where one lives, in which country and in some countries, it is basically ZERO support.


Thus within this, I commit myself to focus only on that which I do in each moment physically when it comes to my job and make sure I learn everything that needs to be learnt in order to get better at what I am doing, so I can support myself better within the system even when I loose a job, the possibility to find another one is greater then.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into fearing being in the middle of a humanity gone mad, I stop------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am fearing being in the middle of a humanity gone mad, because of what I can imagine could happen as what I already see happening in the world at the moment, only much worse than that.

Thus within this, I commit myself to focusing on solutions to the problems that are here, and focusing on bringing out more information about solution than information about the problem that is already here and is getting worse, so that my contribution to the world is one of solution and not one of focusing on what the problem is without a practical solution.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into thinking and believing that I cannot live oneness and equality within and as myself, I stop------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am  thinking and believing I cannot live oneness and equality within and as myself, because I judge it as something too big for me to live as if it is out of my reach, when in reality I have been given all that I need to live this, which is LIFE itself. LIFE is right here within as me. All I need to do is realize myself as this life and than all this thinking and believing will be no more.

Thus within this, I commit myself to focus more on LIFE that is the gift that is right here within me, which I for 100% am aware that I can trust this life no matter what, and the form of life that this life is expressing itself within and as and through, which is my human physical body. All I need to do is actually LIVE the trust I already have as common sense and remind myself that this trusting of life is going to take application/dedication/time/patience and grounding of me as self as life here. Thus baby steps to/towards myself in my application of remembering the who I am as LIFE here.

Self-Reward:

I see/realize and understand that my anger was related to/towards world events and outcomes due to my participation within the anger that I generate within myself as myself, in so doing supporting even in small ways the anger that is existent within this world through humanity at large, because of the anger comes in separation making one wanting to choose sides, as in thinking and believing always that whatever side one chooses is the " good/right/positive"  side when in reality the only choice to choose if choice was a matter, would be to choose the side of LIFE, which will not be the side that is "  good/right/positive"  or  " bad/wrong/negative,"  however, will be the only choice that will be BEST for all of life.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

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Day 360, The Anger that consumes me.

So here I am again with another same old problem or should I say challenge.



                                                                       

I have noticed lately that there is this anger that consumes me. And this anger I project on all of us, including myself, because of this thing we are doing, which I will call: "waiting." 

Because every single problem that is right here, right now can be stopped and changed forever more. However, because we do not really want to come together and work to/towards practical solutions that will be best for all of us, we keep on keeping on with the blaming game and looking at a so-called: "elite."  

We act as if the elite have soooooooo much power than all of us put together, which of course is not so.

I have noticed that this anger within me is related to a fear, and this fear is specific to experiencing unnecessary hardship.
Thus my anger that I project to/towards others as myself, is in relation to not wanting to go through unnecessary hardships and because I see that in reality, humanity is not really coming together anytime soon and the problems we have keep on mounting up, I become angry, but mostly deep inside myself it is a fear of the consequences that I can imagine could take place if we do not stand together as one & equal and stop, than change all the problems that are here, that we have created. Thus; OUR problem is MY problem!

Points that I need to work on:

***  anger to/towards humanity and myself included

***  projection of anger to/towards humanity and myself

***  Fear of possible future outcomes

*** Fear of having to go through hardships

*** Fear of  having to go through a world gone totally mad, because we do not share equally for everyone.

Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go through the experience of being angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that by allowing anger to exist within me as me, I am somehow doing something or at least I am caring, because I am against that which is not right in the world that I see?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give the anger that exists within me more impetus and value, through participating in it, fueling it up without actually working it out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work out my anger I have been accumulating within me as me, because little by little it has become a point where I even like being angry all the time in my mind about the situation  I am in and that the whole world is in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself and humanity at large, because of what I have accepted and allowed to be here on earth, while I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the possible outcomes that can become part of my reality in this world and the reality for lots of people in this world, and not just people but lots of beings on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to go through hunger, to not actually have something to eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to pay for my monthly expenses and thus get into a lot financial problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, due to not being able to pay my rent get be put out on the streets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to tell someone else, whomever this someone else is, a family or not, that I am in financial difficulty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to ever coming to a point of rest financially, a safe base where I can take care of my children financially as I wanted and as I have to, because I do not have a job anymore to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be in the middle of a humanity gone mad, because there is no equal sharing among humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at humanity, including myself for not accepting and allowing equal of everything to exist within and as this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that I cannot for myself live equality within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at " those people" whom make decisions in this world, which have an impact and effect the lives of lots of humans and other beings on earth that does not lead to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make decisions in every moment that I am here that will accumulate and eventually become that which will be best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that humanity is doomed, because I judge humanity by what I see humanity allows to occur to life on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe  that I am doomed, because I judge myself for what I allow to accur to life on earth on my watch.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself because I am aware that I am not doing much about changing the whom I am now to be/become a human being that can truly stand within and as myself to live in every moment, that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be consumed with anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lash out within and as my mind to all people out of desperation, because of my own self-created anger within myself to/towards humanity at large, myself included.

Self-commitment statements:

When I see myself going into or I am about to go into Anger, I stop.................take a deep breath, bring myself here, quiet myself within and as my breath, focusing on my breathing, the phyiscal feeling/touch of my breath and stick with it right here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that the anger that consumes me can only do so, because I am allowing it to be within and as my experience within and as my body.

Therefore, I commit myself to whenever there comes a moment when I in anger because I forgot to breathe to immediately remind myself that I am here and my breath here, my body is here and the whole earth here to support me with that which is life, all I need is to bring myself back here within and as myself and focus on that which is my breath and my physical body by touching my arms or holding my two hands together so that my focus is than here, which is that which is actually here as expression of life.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into reacting against something in anger within my mind consciousness system, I stop................take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that by allowing anger to exist within me, within my mind I am thinking and believing that it means that at least I am caring somehow, because " I am thinking about others that have less than me," as if "thinking about it is caring." 

Therefore, I commit myself to just stop myself thinking about those whom I have judged as living in circumstances and situations that are challenging, and actually start get myself involved more practically with the actual doing, moving to/towards solutions that will bring about a change that will be best for all life.

To be continued in the next blog............................

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

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Day 291, Who am I in relationship with the word: "Anger." Part- 6

Now I move to the next word that I have placed within the list of words in  the first blog about understanding. If one have not read that blog yet, I place here the link:

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/02/day-286-what-is-understanding.html


The next word in that list is: " Anger."

Thus let us see how we have define the word anger within and as this world. I have chosen dictionary.com for this:


                                                                     

                                                           

an·ger   [ang-ger]  Show IPA noun 1. a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire. 2. Chiefly British Dialect . pain or smart, as of a sore. 3. Obsolete . grief; trouble. verb (used with object) 4. to arouse anger or wrath in. 5. Chiefly British Dialect . to cause to smart; inflame. verb (used without object) 6. to become angry: He angers with little provocation. Now for those whom are not aware of this, as I said in previous blogs related to these subjects, thus feelings and emotions, in this world we are really confused about our understanding of what these really are and what are the difference between emotions and feelings. And as I said as I have learned and not only learned but can also see it within and as myself by introspecting and investigating my own thoughts/feelings and emotions, that indeed: " Feelings are positive charged energetic experiences."                                            And " Emotions are negative charged energetic experiences." Thus anger cannot be seen nor be experienced as a " feeling," because it is an " emotion." If we have a look in this world how we use words and how we form sentences we often use this confusion a lot. Most people when they ask the question if one have noticed: " How do you feel?"  most people will answer that question in two ways, depending in what energetic state they are. Thus if they are "happy" which is a feeling, they will say they are happy. But if they are "sad" for example they will also say, they are sad, but yet "sadness" is NOT a feeling. And the question was specific, thus: " how do you FEEL?" If one is more aware of this one could ask the question in another way as for example: " what are your experiences inside yourself at the moment?" This way one can answer the question with either an negative experience of energy or a positive experience of energy, thus that one is going through an emotion or a feeling and thus an energetic experience. And then one can be best assisted and supported in a best and specific way. So anger is an emotional reaction we create in our minds. For those whom are reading this and do not know yet that thoughts, feelings and emotions are ALL of and as the mind and within the mind, I'll suggest to do read the desteni material about all of this and also visit the EQAFE website for there are lots of interviews that go into detail explaining what these are and not only that but also how to work these out in practical application. I understand that people in this world do not know that feelings and emotions are also of/from/within the mind. They are the mind's constructions and specific program that keeps the mind going generating energy to keep on existing. The main reason we think/believe that feelings and emotions are not of/from and within this mind, is because we see and believe that the mind is specifically allocated in the head area thus something in the brains, and there is where we mostly experience the thoughts. And the feelings and emotions, because we are experiencing them within our Solar Plexus in our chest area/ our hearts we think and believe that they are not of/from and within the mind, thus that the mind is only thoughts and memories. So we have separated the programs we experience in our minds and bodies to. For an more indepth explanation about what to do when caught up in emotional reaction, I suggest to read the heavensjourney to life blog. In this blog there are practical application written that can assist and support one in one's process. http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/10/eternal-darkness-part-3-day-465.html http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/10/if-i-can-stop-emotions-i-am-responsible.html Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in world where I and the rest of the humans have accepted and allowed ourselves to emotions and feelings to direct us, abdicating our responsibility for ourselves as life here. When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into accepting and allowing emotions and feelings to direct me, wherein I am deliberately abdicating my responsibility, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I realize that I am deliberately abdicating my responsibility to/towards my emotions and feelings, because I blame it outside myself to/towards someone or something and also within my own mind I blame my memories for letting me go through the emotion or feeling. Thus within this, I commit myself to take my responsibility and really see/realize and understand that my emotions and my feelings are all MY creation, they exist because I am accepting and allowing them, and thus because I am creating them I can also uncreate them and thus change my relationship to/towards the feelings and emotions as Self being responsible thus alsonmeans, taking responsibility and direct me to move me and stand within and as myself and not accept and allow feelings and emotions to direct me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that emotions and feelings are not of/from and within the mind, because of the allocation in the body where I experience them is not the same area or point/place. When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into thinking and believing that emotions and feelings are not of/from and within the mind, I STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I realize that I am thinking and believing that emotions and feelings are not of/from and within the mind, because of my experience of them in another area, the chest area within my body that is not my head area, where I also think and believe that the mind is therein allocated. Therefore, I commit myself to work out my emotions and feelings in specificity and detail and follow them to the core to really see/realize and understand that they are all coming from within and as the mind and I can through my writing of self-forgiveness and also spoken out loud of self-forgiveness statements in self-honesty release myself from the relationship I have created to/towards these feelings and emotions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize and understand that I am the only one that actually in real space time allow myself to create emotional reaction as anger to exist within me as me as the mind as energy. When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into not seeing/realizing and understanding that I am the creator of an emotional reaction as anger to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, I STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I realize that I do not see/realize and understand that I am the creator of my emotional reaction as anger, because I do not allow myself to slow myself down in breath sufficiently to go through the whole thing so I can see the whole construct within and as me and also see that no-one can place any reaction within me but me, the experience of whatever reaction can only be experienced in me, because I am the one experiencing it and not someone or something else, and that someone and something else cannot give it to me either, it is solely my creation and my experience, thus my responsibility. Therefore, I commit myself to take my repsonsibility to/towards my emotional reaction as anger and do not allow myself to participate within it and make sure that I uncreate it within me through my writing of self-forgviness or spoken out loud in self-honesty and breathe to slow myself down so I can see more clearly what it is I am accepting and allowing to exist within me as me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let anger be a part of me as me as the mind as energy. When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into letting anger be a part of me as me as the mind as energy, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I realize that I am letting anger be part of me because I can then spite another or something. Therefore, I commit myself to step by step through my writing of self-forgivenes and spoken out loud in self-honesty to stop all action and interaction in emotion as anger till I do not participate in anger anymore nor is anger part of me anymore. Self-Reward: Within this writing I have come to see/realize and understand more about me in my relationship to anger and emotions and how I can assist and support myself to NOT participate in them and the how to little by little change the who I am in relation to them within and as myself. Thanks. Larry Manuela Join us at: Desteni Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world. Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG