Day 363, The winds of Back-Chat Part 2.

Now I am continuing with the second part of what I started with in the previous part.


I am in this blog going to write my self-commitment statements.

Self-commitment statements:

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into allowing myself to be blown away side by side, back and forth, within myself by my self-created back chats, I stop------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that allowing the back chats in a moment, results into back-chatting even more.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure I in the moment itself apply forgiveness immediately instead of letting it continue building up and becoming me spewing more back chats in my head.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into becoming impatience because of the debts that I have and that I
.. want to get rid of, I stop-------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I become impatience with having debt, because I want to solve that problem as like right now, or yesterday and this is not possible at the moment.

Therefore, I commit myself to make a plan and stick to it, in agreeing with myself to make sure I attend to my debt problems in a way that will be best for me and that I practice being patients and remember that I have to do all this one breath at the time.

When and as I see myself going into or I am to go into blaming myself into having to get myself into a situation of debt, I stop................... take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that blaming is not a solution however more an adding to the problem, because what is done is already done, and the consequences of that which was already done, are also part of the same problem and the solution can only be a practical one, real physical action, and blame is not part of that practical/physical solution.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure  that I take the necessary steps with my finances that I already know I have to take and within this stick to it till I free myself of these debts and be able to support myself and everyone else that needs my support financially.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into generating the emotion that contributes to the hate of debt in the money system, I stop..........take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am allowing the emotion as hate to exist within me, because I do not agree with this system of money as to HOW it functions, and by having the emotion of hate generating within me about it, I somehow think/believe that I am taking a revenge on the system, when in reality I am just in puny/little world in my mind, generating energy to keep this world alive.

Therefore, I commit myself to remind myself to breathe in these moments and hold my hands together or do whatever that is a physical movement and focus on it to bring me here, and after I see that I am calm and quiet inside I do self-forgiveness about the emotion that I have accepted and allowed to come up within me to release it, and take note if it is necessary to work it out later more specifically to find out what triggered it exactly to come.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into feeling shame, I stop------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am ashamed of myself of being into situation of debt, because I live a life of struggle and mostly because people judge people who are in debt problems as somebody that is stupid.

Therefore, I commit myself to little by little push myself to get rid of this shame that exist within me as me, by focusing on the moments when I know I am going to use it to energize myself to experience that word as an emotion, energy. I do forgiveness to myself in that moment and when I have a moment alone I have a look at it more deeply in writing and work myself out of it, and continue doing so, till there is no more shame existent within me.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into deliberately choosing women that are very far away from me to start something with them, I stop-------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back till I am clear are stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am doing this, because I do not want any woman to come and visit myself home, because of me being ashamed of my home not being ready yet, not having furniture yet, only the basic things I need I have, like a fridge, a washing machine, a bed and of course internet.

Therefore, I commit myself stop looking for women for awhile and just focus on little by little buying the stuff I need to put in my apartment to have it ready, and to not have it ready to receive women as guests or so, however to have it ready so I myself can live comfortable in my apartment.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into using the back chat: " I am tired of this S***," I stop---------------  take a deep breath and bring myself here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using this back chat, because I have the experience to want to give up on myself, like I cannot take this anymore, tired of living a life where survival has become a form of struggle instead of what one have to do to support ones body and the environment one lives in with everything that is here.

Therefore within this, I commit myself to little by little work on this experience I have placed/created within myself where I want to give up on myself, I write myself out and forgive myself and focus my living on practical actions so I can help myself working myself out without having my consciousness/mind being in the way.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into feeling like I do not want to do anything, I Stop--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am feeling like I do not want to do anything, because this feeling of not wanting to do anything is one of the consequences when I am giving up on myself, so I literally slowly but surely rot away without actually doing nothing, thus in reality creating that which represents " giving up on myself."

Therefore, I commit myself to deliberately when I preparing myself to do nothing, I push myself to do something that is physical and practical, moving out of the situation of ending up all the time doing nothing. I go take a walk, I can write anything, or do anything that involves some physical action.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into being angry at people who are saying that they have no money in conversation, when in reality they do have money, I stop------------ take a deep breath and ground myself till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am angry at people acting as if they have no money, when I am aware that they are lying, because of the way they live their lives with money that indicates that they have money, and because I am in a situation wherein I really do not have money or have very little money, I find than that my statement when I say I have no money is valid and theirs not. Thus in reality I am angry at myself for not having money or very little money.

Therefore, I commit myself to little by little getting myself out of this situation of not having money or very little money and do my best to be as best I can be in what I am already doing so I can place myself in a position where I can have some room to breathe and can end up having some money left after I have paid my expenses. I realize that this is at the moment the only way I can do it as a start.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into lying, I stop---------take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the  mind as energy.

I realize that I think/believe that if I tell I lie about " something that matters"  it is than o.k. to tell a lie, not seeing/realizing and understanding that a lie is a lie no matter how I judge it and telling a lie is actually perpetuating the lie that exists in this reality.

Therefore I commit myself to just stop the lie that exist within me, and just shut up, and do not say nothing and if there comes a back chat in relation to stopping myself to tell a lie, I immediately move into focusing on my breathing and just do self-forgiveness in that moment for myself within myself and when I am at home and is getting ready to go to bed I come back to the moment and write it all out for myself and work it out.

Self-Reward:

Within this writing about myself I have come to see/realize and understand that there are much more points that came to the surface that needed my attention to be worked out. I have seen/realized and understood that whatever state of mind I am in, I can always choose to get out of it and to actually do something practical about getting out of it.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 230, Not Wanting/Willing/DARING To Communicate. Part 5

So, here i am continuing with the walking of the dimension in regard to this point of communication.


For more context, from what i wrote a day before, here is a little excerpt:







Self-Reward:



I can see now that i am fearing exposing myself in order to not get rid of what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as a mind consciousness system, thus now that i can see myself within my writing i then will be more vigilant and attentive in other similar moments/circumstances when these arive/present themselves, in order to little by little move myself out of this pattern and also to STOP myself from being like this, till i move myself as myself as my directive WILL, within the principle of Oneness and Equality, that which is BEST for all LIFE.




Problem:




Imagination-dimension:


*** Imaginging saying what i have to say, and then due to that getting into conflict/friction with her, just because i exposed myself.


*** Imagining myself being very annoyed/bothersome with expressing myself as the mind consciousness system with myself or with another due to the fear of Maybe/possibly having to work on it.


*** Imaging the other also going through the experiences of being annoyed and/or being bothered by what i have to say.





Solutions:





Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine saying what i have to say to her, because i belief that by saying/sharing myself to her, i will be getting into conflict/friction with her, just because i exposed myself as the mind consciousness system, something i need to stop and correct within myself and that i need to see for myself in words and actions first, before i can stop myself as this LIE that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become wherein i am completely unaware as the whom i am as LIFE, as the human physical body/form and as my breath of LIFE in every moment.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that i really NEED to see myself in words and action First, when in reality i can see all of this if i pause and stay within and as my breath, and just be HERE so i don't communicate words of separation to SELF as myself and others as myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words in separation to myself as SELF as LIFE, and therefore create an outcome that is NOT best for all.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine being annoyed/bothersome with myself to share myself as the mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become with another as myself, as i fear having to maybe/possibly having to work on it as myself as what i have become.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my imagination as to see something annoying/bothersome as a way to try and see how i can avoid working on myself, because i know within me that this means that i have to change me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to Fear changing me, because changing me means according to myself as a mind consciousness system that I won't exist anymore, as the various of stages of what i have been is not here anymore. Thus within this i realize that i fear that which is as me as a system as a memory within my mind consciousness system, without seeing/realizing/understanding that Me as the human physical form as an expression of LIFE has always and is still HERE. Thus i Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR to Be HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine another as myself also maybe/possibly going through the same experiences of being annoyed/bothersome if i am to say what i have to say as me exposing myself as the mind consciousness system.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link imagination to fear of not exposing myself as a mind consciousness system.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even have an imagination about another as myself being annoyed/bothersome, just because i am annoyed/bothersome within myself with my own thoughts.





Self-commitment statements:



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into believing that sharing myself with/to her i will be getting into conflict/friction, when this all part of myself imagining stuff that are not even happening at all in the moment, To STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and from this clarity andstability i communicate to her in a way that will be BEST for both of us, thus taking my directive will and direct myself in a way where i can communicate better to what is really happening within myself and so i can deal with the fear of exposing myself in order to get rid of the self that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as a LIE.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into trying to create a need within myself that i need to see myself as in the words and actions first, which when one is not constantly and consistently in Breath is not possible to do this, and thus i immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and from this starting point I then Speak, use words as myself right HERE in breath one and equal.


I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using words in separation to mySELF, i STOP-----------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and grounded and within this clarity and stability i then use words as myself within my breath one and equal.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using my imagination based on what i myself experience within myself and by believing that using this imagination avoid me from having to facing myself as the mind consciousness system, I STOP------------take a deep breath and Earth myself back HERE and hold my hands together to remind myself that i am HERE and also to keep on focusing at the same time within/as my breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and from this starting point i then act/move/communicate with another as myself.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into Fearing myself because i am about to stop and change myself, I STOP-----------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and i continue breathing and focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and no fear exists within me as me as the mind as energy, and i am totally clear i then act/move/communicate.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into imaging others as myself maybe/possibly going through the same experiences as i do, when this is an assumption and a belief, I STOP-----------------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.



I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into linking imagination to fear or to better yet strengthen the fear within myself, I STOP-------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then i can communicate with another as myself within and as my breath and my human phsysical body/form, one and equal.






Self-Reward:





within this i gift myself the gift of using my imagination to NOT sabotage myself and/or strengthen my own self-created fear of exposing myself, but to actually use it to See/realize/understand myself as the whom i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world in a moment, so that in these moments i can then STOP myself and correct myself to function effectively in communication and within the principle of what is BEST for all.






Thanks.






Larry Manuela

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Day 203, Why Lies..?? Part 2

Now within this blog i am going to do self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements in regards to the blog from the day 201.

Here is the link: day 201

                                          



Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to LIE, because of the fear of facing what i have accepted and allowed to be HERE in this world as the reality as it exist within this world, that is in reality a reality that is existent and being fueled by myself as the ''ME'', as the whom i am in this world in relation to whom each one is in separation from me as their own ''i am.''


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by lying about whatever in this world to protect my self-interest, is in fact fearing myself as LIFE, as how i'm NOT expressing myself as the body that i am right HERE, as the real being of earth and the manifested form as/of substance as LIFE.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when i do not say anything, because of a question that might have been asked to me, that is a question related to my own truth and i am aware that if i am to say my truth it will lead to consequences that i do not want to go through i remain silence, and within this not seeing/realizing/understanding that i am also lying, because i am in my mind trying to coward away from my consequence that is in that particular moment being shown to me and wherein i choose to be quiet because of fear of not going through the consequence.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortableness when i am confronted with my own truth and that by weighing it carefully to avoid an outcome that will manifest in some form of loss, and if i see this, i remain silent. Thus within this i see/realize/understand that this remaining silent is to protect my own self-interest and NOT a remaining silence because that would be what is BEST for all.  Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to remain silent to protect my own self-interest as in avoiding to go through the fear of loss.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by lying i am in fact giving LIE as the whom i am power over myself and also giving it as within humanity more power to reign, making sure that how i participate within this world is a LIE and all of humanity through my participation continue fueling this existence with the LIE that i have become together with the rest of humanity equal and one.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a world exist where LIES has become the whom we are and how we live with each other.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide my own truth with a LIE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to every time i saw people lying without saying anything about it, i was in fact supporting it, thus within myself supporting myself also as a LIE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to lie about my age, just to get into the disco.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to LIE to women in the past, just to make sure i could maybe/possibly make them fall for me after they have heard my LIE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to LIE many times in my life in order to manipulate someone else to do my bidding.


I forgive  myself that i have accepted and allowed myself deliberately tell half the truth just because i know within myself that by telling half the truth the other half that is the LIE will be strenghten even more, because of the whole world revering LIES and supporting LIES.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a world exist wherein in order to get a job sometimes it is required to LIE about oneself, because apperently the truth of whom one is in that particular moment will not be of any value in a world of LIES.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to LIE many times in my life, just for the purpose of being nice to people. Within this i see/realize/understand that ''being nice'' itself is a LIE, because i am in that moment NOT nice and thus have to pretend that i am. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be nice to avoid the consequence of people saying or finding out about  me NOT being someone that might NOT be nice.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to LIE to people about how they look pure for the purpose to NOT hurt their feelings, but within this not seeing/realizing/understanding that i am in FACT supporting a LIE based on preferences that are all rooted and based in self-interest. Thus within this if i am asked by someone how they look, instead of lying i can just say: '' i am sorry but what i might find beautiful or not may not be the same for you, thus i will not give you an answer because my answer will also be tainted by what i have defined as what looking beautiful is or not.'' 



Self-commitment:



I commit myself to make sure that every time i am about to LIE or i find myself Lying to immediately just STOP, take a deep breath and make sure i continue breathing and focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to make sure that i am always within/as my human physical body breathing, one and equal so that i am than always self-honest and thus when i am self-honest i know that my words and deeds will always be what is BEST for all, and thus i will know when exactly to say something or choose to be quiet.


I commit myself to little by little to debunk all the lies that we as humanity have become in this world so we may stop ourselves and creating ourselves as such over and over.


I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or about to go into lying to protect my self-interest to just STOP, take a deep breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to make sure i am aware of myself when i am going to engage into or i am engaging into selling half truths so the LIE part will be the one that triumph.


I commit myself to make sure to NOT lie to people just because i want to be nice, and just express me within/as breath one and equal with/as my body, so my expression as me as one as equal as my body and as my breath is always REAL, constantly and consistently.


I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or about to go into lying because of any fear that will come up within me, i just imeediately STOP, take a deep breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.





Thanks.




Larry Manuela




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Day 201, Why Lies..??

Now within this blog i am going to look at lies. At how we lie, and why most of us lie. 

 

                                                       
The thing about lying is, that everyone knows why they are lying, but yet no-one is daring to face the CAUSE of what they themselves have managed to manifest outside themselves as the current system we live in, which is in fact a projection of what is happening inside,thus what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be/become as the whom we are and the whom we must be of each ONE individually and of all collectively, where sometimes to survive we are going to lie, because we fear the consquences. We are aware of the consequences that will manifest if we were to really say it as it is. One can loose friends,family,job, all material possessions, one can be rediculed, bullied, killed, treated as not existing, been sent into jail, etc etc..........Thus all the things we have come to value can come to an End if we were to tell the truth of ourselves, without seeing/realizing/understanding that it is the Reality of ourselves as LIES, that will come to an END. Thus what do we value..??  We are right now valuing ourselves as LIES...!!!  All our wordly systems we built and construct and invent is to support ourselves within our living participation as LIES..!!


Thus in order for NOT wanting to go through all these consequences if one would tell it as it is, one would rather LIE, and keep on creating the reality as it exist NOW where to LIE is accepted by many if not all as ''normal human behaviour.''  And on top of all this, we created a justice system that punish one that tell the truth, it doesn't prevent lying in the first place, its sole purpose is to punish those whom so-called: ''lied.'' But in reality, in order to find out that one has lied, one needs to find out the truth of what truly happened, and when this truth is spoken out, then one will be punished as being a liar, thus one is in fact being punished for telling it as it is/the truth. What a conundrum isn't it...?? Thus telling the truth has become a fearful thing instead of finding out ways to make sure we don't repeat our mistakes again, thus to prevent ourselves in creating ourselves as such over and over and over.......... ~into infinitum. Our system that supports punishment and reward, is in FACT supporting LIES and not Truth. Thus LIFE, that which is actually HERE as what is happening in fact right HERE as to how everything and everyone functions for real, as what is actually in fact going on right HERE is being punished and NOT prevented to become an outcome/affect/consequence that is NOT BEST for ALL. Thus to make it clear; 'we do NOT prevent ourselves in creating a reality for ourselves and everything else where we do NOT have/need/require to LIE.' Thus LYING in its turn flourished by the reward provided to the punishment of the truth as how we live HERE with each other and everything else in FACT.!!





Lying has become part of our living together and some have even managed to lie so much so, that they will lie about anything, to make themselves appear in the eyes of another as if they are someone that is of  great stature, when all of it behind the scenes is just LIES, deliberatly orchastrated lies, to manifest an outcome that will benefit self-interest. We have also managed to justify lying by saying that sometimes we need to or we have to lie in order to protect ourselves from apparent danger to ourselves or to our loved ones or to protect our survival as we are now surviving based on fear in this current system.



Why is it so difficult to NOT just see what is HERE, with this i mean; 'to see that our society at large and the systems we created are all our own projections as the whom we are within, and that they are not supporting us at all so that LIFE as ourselves, as the human physical form manifest and as other life-forms can have a pleasant living expressive application of themselves, that is dignified here without harm/abuse/suffering done to themselves or others as themselves..??'

Instead of us stopping the cause as where it orginated from, which is within ourselves, we want to tackle the outcomes/affects/consequences. Desperately trying to fix the outcomes/affects/consequences. When in reality, what we really have to do is to STOP ourselves in creating ourselves as such, as to what we are NOW within and then correct ourselves through forgiving ourselves self-honestly and hence live as the correction within and without one and equal, which then leads to a physical living expression of each participant that will lead to a world that is BEST for all. Exactly what we are doing NOW and have been doing for eons of time, but then in reverse this time we live as what is BEST for LIFE, which is BEST for ALL and NOT what is best for self-interest, which is Against LIFE..!!


Thus the solution to this living as a LIE because of the fear of the consequences we are aware of, is to make sure we do NOT create a reality wherein we have to LIE, wherein we are the very pawns of the LIE, wherein we have to built systems which are in fact continuation/extention of our own existence as LIES.



I will be doing self-forgiveness statements and self-corrective statements in the next blog.



Thanks.



Larry Manuela



Join us at: www.desteni.org



Have a look at THE solution to ALL the problems we are causing in this world in the form of: www.equalmoney.org






Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/


And for better understanding of the living words, visit our destonian Wiki website: http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

136, When Love Is Not Here.

When your mother and father love you and your siblings alone above everyone else and everything else, KNOW that, that will be the love that you will live also which is like a love of revenge wherein every family is revenging other families, as they each show each other, that they will only love theirs and not yours---------------- you love yours and i will love mine, fuck you with yours..!!

When the people in the country and the country itself with the meaning it has for you, where you were born in have much more value than other people in other countries and other countries themselves, Know that your love is separation and love was suppose to be that which joins/binds/unifies.

When we participate in a system that dictate to us, that in order for us to have a LIFE worth living we MUST PAY some individuals whom have declared themselves as OWNERS of land and resources as if they really are the ones that created this earth, when not any human here created the earth, we all have been given the gift of LIFE to thrive here on this planet and all we need to survive and to have a fruitful LIFE with as we live HERE, have been given freely to all of us equally to support us and not JUST humans, all creatures of the earth, for we are all made out of the DUST of the earth. So as long as we continue allowing this foolishness/stupidity we DO NOT love at all.

As long as we wish to also OWN land and resources that are detrimental for all LIFE on earth for ourselves, LOVE will NOT exist in this world.

When your work is about you working to survive and sustain yourself and the ones you proclaim you love and is NOT work that is about SUPPORTING life in the BEST way possible for ALL living things on earth including yourself of course because you are also part of this ALL, KNOW that your love is not HERE.

When you have friends, KNOW that there is NO love in you, for you have chosen to walk with those whom you call friends in separation to those whom you will NOT be friends with.

When you choose any side of a polarity, KNOW that there is NO love in you existent. So for example if you want to be ''good'' and live a ''good life,'' KNOW that it is not out of love, but out of selfishness and FEAR.



When you have any belief that you live by in this world, KNOW that there is no love in you, for beliefs are NOT practical/physical/factual as that what your body that is real consists of and exists as.



When we can go to WAR to so-called protect our country and our people, KNOW that there is NO love HERE in this world in us. For War only destroys LIFE, so can NEVER EVER be an act of peace NOR of love nor of honor..!!




When we can see people and animals  starving but yet do NOT move at all to make sure that STARVATION NEVER ever exist anymore on this planet, know that there is NO love in this world.




When people and animals and plants are dying all over the place without us having any feeling at all about them dying, KNOW that there is no love at all in us existent.




Every time you belief you deserve to be paid more because of your functionality in your pathetic job, KNOW that there is NO love in you, because you want more for you and LESS for others as you as the dust of the earth, as physical manifested form and bodies of LIFE equal as you are.



When opinions of humans are more important and determine what MUST take place and NOT the FACTS of life as how life functions HERE, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.



When education is JUST copying, and NOT learning about how LIFE in all it's forms and manifestations functions HERE for REAL, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.




Every time one allows someone else by oneself to be seen/treated as MORE or LESS then oneself and others, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.




If you hate someone or blame someone for whatever reason, KNOW that there is NO love in you.



If you are unwilling to take your self-responsibility for what is being allowed to be done to LIFE while you are HERE, KNOW that there is no love in you.




If you wish/want/desire to be SAVED by any saviour or by aliens, KNOW that there is NO love in you.



If you want/wish to be succesful in this system and move ahead in this system, KNOW that there is NO love in you, for this system is a system of abuse and rape to LIFE, a crime against LIFE. Real succesful living is when one live always in all ways to bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE in every moment of breath.




When our values are placed in what we belief, whatever they might be and NOT placed in LIFE, that LIFE itself IS the MOST valuable thing, and align everything to it to support ALL LIFE in the BEST possible way, KNOW that there is NO love in this world.


If there exists any reason at all, that you have to/need to LIE, know that there is NO love in this world.



                    ===========================================




Therefore, please forgive yourself as i forgive myself for what we have accepted and allowed to be here, as we are marching on destroying everything in our path for a so-called love that is just a feeling, which is energy, but is NOT real as it NEVER LIVES in this world practically/physically/factually.



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Day 99, Me As A Parent.

Now i have 2 children, a boy and a girl. The girl is 12 years old and the boy is going to be 7 soon. As things turned out to be, i am NOT in their lives constantly and consistently enough as to be there and walk with them hand in hand step by step as i am walking myself here in correcting myself.

 

 

Did i wish for my children..??  how can i change it..??

You see, since everything is depending on fucking money i am lost as a parent for them, because of this money problem that is making me unable to be with them as i would have liked it, so i can be the example for them as i walk this process of correction. The times that i can see them and be with them for a few days is NOT enough, because the rest of their days will be spent with their mother and the people they have to deal with, that don't know anything at all, about how to live in way that is BEST for all LIFE, not even ONE..!!   Is this an excuse you might ask...??   Can i go back and live with them there and start a new life with them, is it going to work..??  

Well it is not going to work, because i will be in constant arguments with the mother, and that is not healthy for them, because the mother does not approve with what i am doing here.
When i talk to her on the phone and use common sense reasoning with her, she can see some points, but it is NOT seeing as in really seeing a point clearly and that will make one make the decision to STOP living the way one lives. It is just like trying to be nice to me, for who knows what reason.  

So how the hell am i going to get out of this one..?? It is only when i get a real good job, with this i mean a steady job, which who knows when that is going to happen or ever going to happen, as this crisis is not to be measured nor trusted, because even those whom have a steady job can be without a job tomorrow.

All i can do for now is make sure that every time they are with me to show them how to live practically and how to question everything that is here and make sure to always make the decision to choose for life that is BEST for all.

What i really really would have liked was to let them be with me, but i just can't right now, there is no way this can happen now, due to money and the way i have to survive within this system now is not an ideal environment to have them be with me, because i work in shifts, and it is NOT like i make so much money where i could pay someone to watch them for me when i am busy working. So it just won't happen.

So i have to deal with this situation till things become a little better for me, but still what is important is that i work on myself to change myself so they can see the change, and take this as an example for themselves.

Self-forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to mess up my own life so now that i have kids, my decisions that i have made are now affecting them.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that bringing a child in this world when one is completely unaware as to how to really live and co-exist with each other, there is just no way one can be a BEST example for the children, because it was never one's own practical living principle nor from anyone else that constitute the whole human society.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to worry for my children, when i can clearly see that within worrying for them won't change anything for them, for worrying is not a physical movement. So within this i realize that worrying has nothing to do with being physical and being physical has everything to do with living.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger to/towards the system when i know damn well that the system is me as it is the whole of humanity for it is what i and the rest of humanity is accepting and allowing to be here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wish many times that the system could just collapse as soon as possible so all can see/realize/understand what we are really accepting and allowing and that it never supported LIFE. Within this i realize that this to is self-interest for i am not looking at the whole of humanity and that others need time to get what i now get as to understand what the heck is really going on, thus that i have to have patience with people and let them realize on their own pace what the heck is really going on, and just make sure that i can be the BEST example i can be, because this is all i can really do for myself and them at the moment, being an example as to walking within and as my process of birthing myself into the physical.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief i was a good parent when i was ''feeling love'' to/towards my children, when this ''feeling of love'' is exactly as the emotion as ''worrying'' for neither of them are a physical movement as in being practical, so within this, ''feeling love'' to/towards my children won't change a damn thing about their living conditions within this world and how this world functions at the moment. Within this i realize that there is NOT one parent that love their children that ever made sure that the world is the BEST world ever that their child and all other children will be living in, when they are here, within this making this whole ''feeling of love for the children'' a total LIE and an abomination. Because the feeling of love will never go as far as a feeling inside the one that is feeling the feeling of love, practical it will NEVER get, for the feeling was not intended to ever BE practical. All feelings are intended to be energetic experiences, and energetic experiences are NOT as in LIVING LIFE. Living LIFE is all about being practical in oneness and equality, that which is BEST for ALL LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the teachings of my parents as of valuable to my living when in reality, they knew nothing of what it means to really LIVE as to make sure all of life on earth is expressing themselves at their very BEST, all my parents knew like any other parent world wide, is to teach me how to accept and allow this system and how to survive within it, because that is what has been passed down  onto them also, it is all they ever knew, because practical love was never in their lives and was never lived on this planet.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the patterns of my parents and pass some of them to my own children. So within this i realize that i am now responsible for assisting and supporting them to break themselves free form these patterns of selfish living/survival of the fittest as i am doing here to transform themselves into a pattern that is living what is always in all ways, that which is BEST for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be a parent that looks and act much like any other parent, as for all parents all they ever were was just trainers of their children to accept authority no matter what and to never ever question authority, hence we have society that doesn't question any authority in this world.

I commit myself to show that we as parents have failed drastically for we know NOT what it means to live as equals, all we know it to live to win and make sure not to loose and within this we will even go as far as to kill all oppositions.

I commit myself to show that the love of any parent in this world, means nothing for it never produced children that will become grownups that always does what is BEST for all LIFE, and to co-exist with one other and all lifeforms.

I commit myself to make sure i walk my process to be an example to my children and all children and also an example to all parents, so they can take the decision to start their own process.

I commit myself to continue looking for solutions as to how to be more in my children's life.

I commit myself to show that energy as love as what one feels has never been enough as to be physically practical so that love is equally a reality for all living beings.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 94, Why I Believed..?

I use to be a believer. Now a believer in god, a believer in spirits, a believer in theories that people use, that may sound great, and very believable, but are they true or are they lies, and when i say lies, i am talking here about not being REAL.

 

 

Let me give the reader(you) an example. I can tell you with a straight face, that i have been to China for example. Now you don't know this, you are going to have to belief me or not belief me, and you will belief me according to how you judge me, or not belief me also according to how you judge me. But you will not look for facts as to find out if i for real went to China or not. If you would see in me, as me being someone nice and well mannered you will probably belief me that i am telling the truth, when in reality i never went to China at all.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be brainwashed into beliefs and took beliefs as more then LIFE itself, without seeing/realizing/understanding that LIFE is the REAL deal, and beliefs are illusions, and for any belief to exist, LIFE is NEEDED, and not the other way around.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take my mind, the place where beliefs exist as more important and as of more value then LIFE itself, so much so, that everything coming from my mind is being glorified and deified and all that is HERE as LIFE is being abused for the illusion as my mind to experience itself as if it is real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief in love, when love is just another tool of the mind to keep me imprison in it, to make sure i do NOT realize myself as LIFE HERE.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how in love i had to also belief the other person based upon my assumption as what was presented to me as how the person look like and how she behaves or act, and based on these i will then decide if i will let myself follow the feeling as love within me, because i am clearly not the one creating the feeling of love within me, i just experience the feeling of love within me, thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand that I was never in love ever, not even as the feeling itself, because the feeling i just felt it, i was not the creator of the feeling, i was not the one directing myself to feel the feeling as love.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief the that LIFE is something to be experienced, without seeing/realizing/understanding in common sense that LIFE is to be LIVED. I realize that experiencing LIFE is not being one and equal with and as LIFE, because experiencing life is being separated from LIFE, it means i am NOT LIFE, i am just experiencing what i perceive within my mind LIFE should be.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that in order for me to LIVE on this planet i require to be a slave, i require to be in DEBT, i require to pay someone, i require to never question authority, i require to at all costs to follow my thoughts/feelings/emotions, when none of these are necessary at all in order for me to LIVE, because the real ME as the human physical body IS already LIFE manifest, and LIFE always supports itself in all ways.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the beliefs of my parents and from other people without questioning them, because back then i was just a believer and as believer one just belief. Within this i realize that there is no living involved in believing, and beLIEving is always a LIE from the very start, because it takes one away from what is HERE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create world as i see it in my mind, hence i live in a world where my mental stuff is being superimposed on that which is real,and abuses that which is real for my illusion and delusion to exist. For me to belief my believes, i MUST use that which is HERE, which is real to try and validate and give my belief a value as if it is real. And that which is real itself i am not being responsible at all for it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEf that a beLIEf can be true and real without seeing/realizing/understanding that IF beLIEves were true they would have never been beLIEves, they would just be REAL, no-one would have to beLIEf them in order for them to have a validity of truth.

 

I commit myself to show that  beLIEfs will always be LIES, because the very starting point of any beLIEF it to take someone AWAY from what is HERE, Away from taking their responsibility for what is here.

I commit myself to show that the system of money that we see as so valuable and even more valuable then life is just another belief-system that does NOT have LIFE as value at all within it, it only abuses LIFE and make sure that LIFE suffers.

I commit myself to show that beLIEves MUST come to an END, because they were born, it was not part of what is HERE, had to be invented. What is here as LIFE will always be HERE, because LIFE is HERE.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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