Day 213, Confusion With Words In Other Languages.

Problem:



I am going to work out some problems i have been having in regards to translating words from other languages into my native language  which is Papiamento, or from my native language into other languages as for e.g.  Dutch or visa versa or from Papiamento to English or visa versa. And understand that this is my own experience, it doesn't necessarily mean that it happens to all people that are bilingual or multilingual.

                                                       

 I have noticed that if i have to translate a sentence from Dutch to English for example, i first translate the Dutch into my language, which is Papiamento within myself and from there i move to English, the same will happen too if i would have to translate from English to Dutch, i go into myself translate it in my language first and then to Dutch. This happens very fast, that it may appear as if i am translating directly from English to Dutch for example, but i am not. So what is the problem within all this.? And sometimes when i can't find a word in Papiamento i suddenly remember the word in the other language, when i then switch and really look for it in the other language, i can than find it and i say to myself in my own native language afterwards: '' see, that is the word i was looking for''    what a mind-fuck isn't...???  Let me give an example of this:

I am going to use the word: '' walk.''  Now this word translated into Dutch is: ''lopen''  in Papiamento it is: '' kamna.''   Now lets say i have to translate ''walk'' into Dutch. Now what i would normally do is go to my native language first and translate it as ''kamna'' and then i know, ooh yes, ''kamna'' is ''lopen'' in Dutch, understand that this what i am writing here goes very very fast( speed of light...lol). Now here comes the tricky part, if i forget that ''walk'' is ''kamna'' in Papiamento, i block Papiamento out and go directly to Dutch and i then find it as ''lopen'' and then from here i say to myself: ''ooh yes, ''kamna''  that was the word i was looking for.  ..lol  This looks like 3 characters/personalities in support of each other or sometimes canceling each other out. Now each one of these languages and also including Spanish, even though i don't use it that much, have their own starting-point as in to what country and group of people i have copied them from. Can be from television/movies/books/songs and also the pictures in the study-books and magazines and newspapers. In each of these languages i copy the way the people move within/as their language, thus the way they speak the language, how they express themselves verbally using the language in certain/specific countries and also from certain/specific people that i myself will choose as articulating the language more assertively. There are people within their own languages that are very good at articulation and at making one attentive to what they are saying, as in making it very spectacular and interesting, like for example; Dr. Martin Luther King, to name just one that most people know or have hear him speak. So now that i have done all of the copying in my mind i then use them in all the languages and what happen then is that i become confused, because certain ways of saying something in one language will not come out as it will be in another language when it is translated. It is like saying something funny in English, but translating it in Dutch suddenly it is not funny anymore. And there is another problem too. Dutch for example sounds very monotonic, it doesn't sound like Spanish and English and Papiamento, these other 3 are more assertive and aggressive in way of speaking, makes one like more attentive to what they are saying, depending of course whom is speaking and in what manner, but all in all there are differences, and in order for  you the reader to get a better understanding of what the heck i'm talking about here, i will place as example from each the languages a video from a political leader from certain countries speaking these specific languages. One will note that the language that is closer to the one one speaks oneself with everything of the language included, that one will tend to like that one more or better, or have that one as a preference.

Hugo Chavez From Venezuela in Spanish:

Mark Rutte From Holland in Dutch:

Martin Luther King From America in English:

Jopie Abraham From Bonaire in Papiamento:

So there one can see in all 4 of these languages the body languages and the tone of voice and the way they voice themselves within their own language. Now this is not for purposes of critique or something like that, it is to just let one see the differences in the way the languages i understand are being voiced by these leaders. And these are the things i copy for example when i am speaking one of these languages, thus the way they speak, not the same, in my own way of course.

  

                                                       <<<<<<......>>>>>>

Now what i have been noticing is that in each of these languages i have copied the words as i hear them and as i see how people use them and for what purposes and reasons, coupled with all the body language/tone of voice/face expressions/way of speaking the words. I have noticed within myself that most of us, if not all, we don't get educated from early on when we are kids, when we are being taught our languages as to learn the words exactly as how they are written in the dictionaries, we all think/belief that we know the definitions of the words we speak, but if we would to ask anyone in their own languages what the definitions are of the words they all speak in their own native languages one will notice that many if not all don't know the definitions of the very words they speak everyday, and i mean as exactly as how it is defined within the dictionaries. Thus everyone in this way are using the words according to how the words FEEL to them, and sometimes even assuming that the words may mean this or that, when it means something entirely different if one would look it up in the dictionary, but yet they have managed to use it correctly in a sentence. Thus, how it was said to them in certain specific tonality and mannerism, and all of this as a child, one will copy and mimick, and from this having a virtual understanding of what the word might mean. Thus we have made all words personal, every person with its words are carrying the words according to how he/she feels about the words personally, the personal relationship as how he/she has experienced the word in his/her environment and from the culutre and so forth. And this whole mess brings lots of confusion, because we don't understand the words we use with the same meaning, as in having the same understanding based on the definitions of the words we use. Now let alone using words to bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE, thus words that support LIFE, which does NOT separate us from life, but that we are equal in our words as we live the words we speak. Thus we have to understand the words we speak now from the perspective of our minds as they are written exactly in the dictionaries, and from there redefine them into words that when they are spoken/written and lived they bring that which is BEST for all LIFE and don't harm LIFE or bring confusion/debates/separation/conflict/friction.

I know Spanish too as i already mentioned, but since i am living here in Holland, i don't have much use for it, and thus little by little because of not using it, because of not needing it here it has become very weak, especially if i were to write it down or read it, it doesn't flow like it used to be in the past. The understanding of it however when it is spoken by people whom speak spanish is fine, i understand it.


Where i come from is a little island with at the moment having 16541 inhabitants. In our history we have been influenced by many cultures and beliefs/superstitions and also through languages coming from many directions. My great great grandparents were living in the slave period, and the slave mentality has left its mark in the people of the island and of which made them people whom don't speak out or stand up for their rights that easily, lots have to happen before they do so, we are mostly timid and quiet. My great great grandparents from my father side were a red indian and a black man, married with each other, thus my great great grandmother was a red indian and my great great grandfather was a black man. From my mother side they were all indians, thus my mother's mother and father were both descendants of indians, the indians from South America, from Venezuela to be more precise. 

On regards to the history of the people there, i leave here a link to wikipedia, where some of the history is written: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonaire


The solution:


Self-forgiveness statements:



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words in relation to how i feel them within me and with how i experienced myself for the first time hearing these words, and from this perspective i think/belief that i know the definition of the words i use, when in reality i only know what i have define myself as, according to what the word means to me based on memories i have imprinted within my mind according to how my mind interpreted it in the past at the moment i first heard it, in relation to how it was sounded to/towards me and in what tonality and also for what purpose.


I forgive  myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand in to what extent knowing more then one language will influence my life, as in understanding others and my participation in communication to/towards them sometimes difficult but also easier, because i have lots of angles/direction to look at a point(s).

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make from each language that i understand and speak a character/personality that sometimes cancel each other out but also support each other so all of them can keep on existing as the characters/peronalities behind the languages they are within my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect languages within my mind together in order to enforce my own participation into and as my mind, but not speak all of them from the perspective of the words as the whom i am as the words and that they support me as life and all of life equal and one.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to engage into comparison within myself in regards to the very languages that i know, making me have back-chats in each of them sometimes as if the languages are pawns of the characters/personalities behind them.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create personalities within me in order for them to speak as if they are the real me, which is my human physical body producing the real sound, which is my voice.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that ONLY the voice that i make with my body and the voice that i hear coming from my vocal cords IS the real voice and NOT the voice i hear within my mind that sounds like it is the real one, because the one i hear in my mind(head) is the one that my mind copied from the real one, which is the one of my human physical body.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not just be HERE in the moment when i open my mouth and speak as the words that will come out as the whom i am as the human physical form and NOT as the personalities/characters pretending to be the real one, speaking/talking as If they are Me, the human physical form, the REAL being of EARTH.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that i am relying on a lie as personalities/characters to define the whom i am as LIFE, instead of just being here as one as equal as all as LIFE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to copy tone of voice/way of speaking/body language/assertiveness when speaking/face expression all to be part of my personal data base where i will use them in order to coin out my own words and from this tjhink/belief that when i speak the words, that they are me, when they are all coming from memories from within me that i copied, but yet i use the real being, which is my human physical form to express them as to make them REAL.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself comprehend/understand words from my mind perspective/view/insight and totally NOT as a living expression as the whom i am as the living words, expressed from the real living being as the human physical form.



I forigve myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to rule myself out as the human physical form that is real as the only one being that really speaks and can speak in this world as the ME, by replacing it with characters/personalities in a mind that are as/of energy and that they need energy from the very body that is the substance of earth as LIFE forn consumation in order to exist as IF they are real.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get confused sometimes within myself in regards to the languages i know and understand, for i mix them when i don't need to or unnecessarily, or i use words in one particular language that have a slightly different meaning in another language, and due to this i will then be understood incorrectly.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get a little frustrated with myself if i use words that may be understood in another language completely different if they were to be  translated without paying attention to the sayings in another language.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react a little impatient if someone does not get what i am saying according to me, without me seeing/realizing/understanding that in the very way i used a particular word or sentence within their language, i was interpreting it from my perspective of how i understand it within my own language and thus bring it into theirs as if that word have the same value/worth/understanding when it is not always like this.






Reward:


Self-commitment statements:

I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into trying to understand words i don't really understand in fact what their definitions are, to just STOP and take a deep breath till i am clear and stable, and if i am in a position where i can look the words up i do that, if not i just breathe and use words that i for sure know what their definitions are and then redefine them so that they support LIFE and not my self-interest.

In this i commit myself to little by little to learn myself to speak words that i can live that are words that bring that which is BEST for me as i participate in this world, that in their turn are equally what is BEST for all LIFE, so when i live them as the whom i am, the outcome as i participate in this world is always what is BEST for all LIFE.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into giving the languages together with the characters/personalities behind them value as if they are the whom i am, i STOP. I take a deep breath and focus on me breathing as the totality as my human physical body till i am clear and stalbe and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as the energy and from this clearness and stability in the breath, i then word myself, so the words are the real me, as the human physical form/body.


I commit myself to be very vigilant in putting attention on the movements of my mind to make sure  i don't fall into the trap of switching characters/personalities that are behind the languages i understand and speak and make sure i slow myself down in breath to see these movements and in this matter i can direct myself to NOT participate giving my mind illusions power over me as the human physical form that i am as the real being on/of earth.



I commit myself to little by little to bring myself back here, thus earthing myself so when i speak whatever language whatever comes out of my mouth is truly ME, and not mind personalities/characters, and for this i wil use self-forgiveness done in self-honesty to find the patterns and structures within me in order to identify how i created myself to be like this and from there deprogram myself to a clean slate and then program myself as living words that are BEST for all LIFE as one as equal as all.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into back-chatting in one of these languages to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and continue doing so if there are any reactions coming up within me, till i will be clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this clearness and stability i direct myself to speak as the words, as the whom i am one and equal.



I commit myself to little by little to delete all learn copied information done in separation to myself as words and then speak words that i live as the whom i am that only produce and bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE always in ALL ways.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself becoming frustrated for what i myself have inflicted on myself within myself using the words as have copied them, i immediately STOP, i take a deep breath and earth myself/bring myself back HERE and continue breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into reacting within my mind as being impatient, I STOP, take a deep breath and make sure i am clear and stable and remain in breath till i am totally one as my breath, breathing as one as equal with and as my body.



Thanks


Larry Manuela



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Day 148, What Is There In My Name: Larry.?? Part 3

I am continuing on where i left of the other two previous days. Here are the link to the other previous days:

Day 146

 

Day 147

Now i am going to write some positive energy experiences related to my name being pronounced and within what tonality.

 

                                           

I remember my mother saying my name in a sweet way, but without that much change of her voice and way of pronouncing my name just a slight way of saying it a different way, in her voice according to my mind interpretation there is this deep worrying, like when one is sick in bed and your mother comes and tuck you in and talk to you and ask you how you're doing...?? well that kind of way. My mind interpret this as someone deeply worrying about your well being. The voice is moderate and with a little whisper.  How would i react ?  i will like melt and talk slowly and with a soft voice and also with a whisper. It is as if one is soothing ones own positive energy experience that is busy building up in oneself.   So this one is the one that is the more manipulative one that others can use to manipulate you in order to get whatever they want from you, because whenever someone will say my name in the same tonality and manner my mother said my name when i was little and where i will react in a soft/calm way as how i felt then, this is exactly how i will react to the person whom will say my name in this similar way.  As you can see we are just junkies to our mind interpretations...loll

 

Another one i have is of my father talking to me in a funny way using my name, and laughing a lot when talking to me, making me feel all happy, it is not as if he would change his voice, he is just being funny and make jokes and being funny. So whenever i am in a group of people or within someone using the same way of talking and making jokes and having similar voice tonality i will react the same way as i react when with my father.

 

I also have one as when my older sister talks to me with her sweet little voice, it makes me feel very energetic and happy inside, so whenever someone and this is especially woman, or girls speak to me in the similar way i will react in the same way i react as i react when my sister speak my name like that.

 

 

o.k. So tomorrow i will start with self-forgiveness statements and self-commitment statements that will be used to deconstruct whatever there is in me that i will find in the moment of writing.......

 

 

Thanks.

 

Larry Manuela

 

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Day 100, I Am Such A Goood Person....Is It So..?

I am going to look at this  '' i am a good person personality/character'' in the mind. As one can already see it in the word ''PERSON.''

 

 

A PERSON is always in the MIND, it's existence is therein. There is NO reality for the person, as the body is already real, so now what does this person do, enslave that which is real, abuse it, impose stuff on it, making it a self-produced drug addict.   So every time one say: '' i like his/her personality,''  you are in FACT liking the parasite in the BODY that is NOT real, and who is really liking this personality..??  Another personality, for personalities can only see themselves and value themselves as personalities.

So am i ''good'' when i am being perceived by myself and others as a ''good person'' for real..???  Is being ''good'' necessary as to LIVE, as to express as manifested LIFE...??  Does LIFE depend on some goodness coming from a personality/character in the mind, to be LIFE...??

So what am i doing with this trying to be ''good'' thing, when LIFE/LIVING is NOT about that at all..??

Who the hell taught me that trying to be ''good'' whatever that means is the way to go, because understand that this trying to be ''good'' fluctuates a lot, depending where on this planet one was born,meaning in which culture/belief-system and traditions.  What is understood as ''good'' human behavior in the Western countries is NOT so in the Eastern Countries.  So how can i trust this perception of ''goodness'' when it varies and take other meanings depending on where one comes from...?? So what is being inputted in peoples minds become their behavior in the outside world. And try as we may, all the different good try outs of different cultures and traditions, they never managed to make humanity become one and equal.  So can i trust this ''goodness'' when i look at the face of the earth and how we live with each other and everything else, can the way we live with each other be considered something to be ''good'' as what is to be understood as what implies ''being good'' is all about...??  Or maybe i have to delete this perception of goodness totally within me and start expressing/living as the LIVING BEING OF EARTH, which is the HUMAN PHYSICAL BODY...!!

 

Self-forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a ''good person'' without ever questioning this ''good person personality/character'' for if i was GOOD in fact, my whole living as the who i am will be in every moment of breath that which is GOOD as what is implied to be a ''good person'' in this world, that does not do bad/wrong/negative things, don't accept and allow these nor any other abuse and atrocities in anyways whatsoever,and not one thought of judgement will be existent within me about myself and others as myself.  Within this i realize that nothing that is energetically experienced within me can be considered to be of any value, for they are proof by the very fluctuation they have, as they are not constant and consistent HERE as my breath and my human physical body or anything that is physically HERE manifest. So i ask myself how can i trust my whole life on something that i have to follow within me, that i am not as yet aware of how exactly such a thing appear within me as for me to experience it as an energetic experience.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel happy about myself when others will tell me that i am a ''good person'' in their eyes, because i am always ready to help anyone, and open to give advises, within this i realize i do all this for the whole purpose of reward, and the reward i will get out from all this is that i will go through as a ''feel good about myself within myself experience'' that only lasts when i get to hear from others that in their eyes i am a ''good person'' because i help everybody.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react within me when people say to me that i am a ''good person'' because when i react, it means that i have missed breaths, because if i am in breath all the time, no reactions as energy can ever come up.

 

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to walk this earth finding ways to make some people say to me that i am a ''good person'' without seeing/realizing/understanding that the moment i am finding ways to be/become something that is NOT here in the moment constantly and consistently, it means that that what i am looking for is NOT whom i am and that i have to rely on my mind to come up with ideas in coined out of memories, that leads to a physical performance as in order for me to be noticed and then in that notice get the possibility to be seen/perceived/interpret as a ''good person.'' 

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let the world i am in to exist within personalities/characters that are playing their acts out for themselves and few other personalities where lots and lots of these personalities are being called: '' good people'' in the face of the suffering that is here everywhere to be seen in this world, where no personality ever stood for real to STOP these to exist and the need to be called ''good person/people'' won't even exist anymore for all will be equally the BEST for all LIFE. I realize this is so because personalities are NOT interested in practically bringing a real change in this world, otherwise the personality won't have anything to ''feel good about itself,'' it depends on energetic experience to exist, so the suffering/abuse in this world must continue being here for the personality to act as if it is doing something about it, that will give it it's justification to exist and at the same time the allowance of the suffering/abuse to continue, because without these no personality as a ''good person'' is needed. So the ''good person personality/character it's soul purpose to exist is heavily dependent on the real suffering and abuse within this physical world, that is being done to LIFE.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how in literally performing as this ''good person'' character i am in fact being the EVIL of this world, because this personality MUST have some real suffering and abuse for it to come to the rescue, within this thus accepting and allowing it, instead of eradicating ALL suffering and abuse in this world forever more.

I commit myself to every time i see myself going into my mind to play this character of a ''good person'' to STOP-----------take as many deep breaths as possible in order for me to slow myself down and STOP myself in creating myself as a character in my mind and make sure to touch something that is physically here, so i don't loose myself within and as my mind.

I commit myself to show that this ''good person'' character in this world that is being performed through/within the mind in many real beings as the human physical form are all EVIL, for it can only exist in the face of real suffering and abuse.

I commit myself to show that real suffering will NOT stop as long as these characters exist through/within the mind within the body.

I commit myself to little by little stop myself creating myself as this character in some specific moments, for it only exists in some moments as it is an energetic experience and energy never lasts long enough it dissipates and ENDS.

I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into a reaction or about to go into a reaction when i may be told that i am a ''good person'' to immediately STOP myself---------and breathe, take as many breaths within me so i don't give rise to this character within me till it is NO more.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 94, Why I Believed..?

I use to be a believer. Now a believer in god, a believer in spirits, a believer in theories that people use, that may sound great, and very believable, but are they true or are they lies, and when i say lies, i am talking here about not being REAL.

 

 

Let me give the reader(you) an example. I can tell you with a straight face, that i have been to China for example. Now you don't know this, you are going to have to belief me or not belief me, and you will belief me according to how you judge me, or not belief me also according to how you judge me. But you will not look for facts as to find out if i for real went to China or not. If you would see in me, as me being someone nice and well mannered you will probably belief me that i am telling the truth, when in reality i never went to China at all.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be brainwashed into beliefs and took beliefs as more then LIFE itself, without seeing/realizing/understanding that LIFE is the REAL deal, and beliefs are illusions, and for any belief to exist, LIFE is NEEDED, and not the other way around.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take my mind, the place where beliefs exist as more important and as of more value then LIFE itself, so much so, that everything coming from my mind is being glorified and deified and all that is HERE as LIFE is being abused for the illusion as my mind to experience itself as if it is real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief in love, when love is just another tool of the mind to keep me imprison in it, to make sure i do NOT realize myself as LIFE HERE.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how in love i had to also belief the other person based upon my assumption as what was presented to me as how the person look like and how she behaves or act, and based on these i will then decide if i will let myself follow the feeling as love within me, because i am clearly not the one creating the feeling of love within me, i just experience the feeling of love within me, thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand that I was never in love ever, not even as the feeling itself, because the feeling i just felt it, i was not the creator of the feeling, i was not the one directing myself to feel the feeling as love.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief the that LIFE is something to be experienced, without seeing/realizing/understanding in common sense that LIFE is to be LIVED. I realize that experiencing LIFE is not being one and equal with and as LIFE, because experiencing life is being separated from LIFE, it means i am NOT LIFE, i am just experiencing what i perceive within my mind LIFE should be.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that in order for me to LIVE on this planet i require to be a slave, i require to be in DEBT, i require to pay someone, i require to never question authority, i require to at all costs to follow my thoughts/feelings/emotions, when none of these are necessary at all in order for me to LIVE, because the real ME as the human physical body IS already LIFE manifest, and LIFE always supports itself in all ways.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the beliefs of my parents and from other people without questioning them, because back then i was just a believer and as believer one just belief. Within this i realize that there is no living involved in believing, and beLIEving is always a LIE from the very start, because it takes one away from what is HERE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create world as i see it in my mind, hence i live in a world where my mental stuff is being superimposed on that which is real,and abuses that which is real for my illusion and delusion to exist. For me to belief my believes, i MUST use that which is HERE, which is real to try and validate and give my belief a value as if it is real. And that which is real itself i am not being responsible at all for it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEf that a beLIEf can be true and real without seeing/realizing/understanding that IF beLIEves were true they would have never been beLIEves, they would just be REAL, no-one would have to beLIEf them in order for them to have a validity of truth.

 

I commit myself to show that  beLIEfs will always be LIES, because the very starting point of any beLIEF it to take someone AWAY from what is HERE, Away from taking their responsibility for what is here.

I commit myself to show that the system of money that we see as so valuable and even more valuable then life is just another belief-system that does NOT have LIFE as value at all within it, it only abuses LIFE and make sure that LIFE suffers.

I commit myself to show that beLIEves MUST come to an END, because they were born, it was not part of what is HERE, had to be invented. What is here as LIFE will always be HERE, because LIFE is HERE.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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