In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Problem: Today at work, i made a mistake, by proceeding to work when the quality test was not really o.k. I knew it was not o.k. but because i had to call upon the quality controller after awhile i just forgot and kept on letting the machine running. When the quality controller came he took a few more tests and he said that i need to change the perforation-blade to one that have a lower value so i can also get to a lower value. When my shift-supervisor came to see what was going on, why the machine was not running, i told him and he told me that i should have called the quality controller and that now all the products i made have to be on hold, this means that they are going to have to call the client if they want the product still or not. When he told me this i went to a slight movement of energy within me, because i knew i made a mistake, and in my mind i was having the back-chat:'' you see, i told you to stop the damn machine and change the fucking blade, but nooooo we have to continue and now what..?? ''
Solution: Self-forgiveness statements: I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let doubt have a grip on me and because of this created an immediate consequence for myself and others as myself at work, because of not stopping the machine and change the blades when i knew i had to. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take a decision based on knowledge within my mind trying to justify in my own mind that i can continue a little more before i go and get the quality controller guy, when in my practical way of working with my body with the machine was telling something else, and because of this created a friction/conflict within me that came out as doubt. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to experience a movement as energy, like an nerveseness within me when i was told that i need to change the blade now, because in that moment, i knew that that was what i needed to do in the beginning already but didn't, and that i am now in trouble. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go through a little experience of fear when my shift-supervisor told me that all the products that i have made need to go on hold now, and ''going on hold'' even though i didn't know what that realy meant in terms of production, but i perceive it to be something that have negative outcomes. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the words: '' go on hold'' to negative energy. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to have the backchat: '' you see, i told you to stop the damn machine and change the fucking blade, but nooooo we have to continue and now what..?? '' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the backchat:'' you see, i told you to stop the damn machine and change the fucking blade, but nooooo we have to continue and now what..?? '' as a way to blame myself. Within this i realize that even in these little moments my mind play tricks on me still, because even though the blame, thus what i am saying in my mind is right according to my mind perspective/view, but the ''blaming'' itself is what is NOT what is BEST for myself, because eventually in the end, i blamed my body, because it is my body that is doing the actual physical task and not my mind, thus my mind is seeing itself as more then the body and blaming it and acting as if the body is stupid, when in reality the body was aware what it was doing and even gave the indication/hints when i was uncomfortable within myself, but eventually i took the decision to continue running the machine,and that decision was NOT the body's decision, but my mind's decision---------- forcing the body to continue working when the body was aware that something was wrong. I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand and hear my body when my body was giving me the indication/hints of uncomfortableness within my chest area and my breathing became short and undeep, that something was wrong, that i was taking decision that my body itself was against. Thus i realize this day, for REAL and in FACT that it is my body that learns and NOT my mind. Thus within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always have believed that it is the mind that learns, when all these times it was and IS the body that learns IN fact..!! Reward. Self-commitment statements: I commit myself to whenever i am about to go into or i am takoing decision based on my mind interpretation of physical tasks, i STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here within/as the human physical body till i am clear and stable and then out from this clarity and stability within and as myself i then express myself as the human physical body that i am, the real being of planet earth. I commit myself to pay very close attention to my body indications, and to not loose myself within and as my mind as knowledge and information, and whenever i see myself going into this, or i am participating in it, i immediately STOP, take a deep breath and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, so that i am just here as the human physical body breathing, living. I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into reactions of uncomfortableness, i just STOP and take a deep breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then in this clarity and stability i then move and act as the human physical body one and equal. I commit myself to be very watchful to the energetic movements that happen within me whenever there are points that trigger my mind, that will result in fear, and when these happen to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and continue breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into backchatting myself away in my mind to immediately STOP and take a deep breath and don't allow myself to fall into this trap as backchat of/as my mind, and continue breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to in the future to be more vigilant in hearing my body and be watchful to its indications/hints, thus whenever i have a movement as energy within me, even though i may not know why it is moving, i just immediately STOP participation in it and take a deep breath or many deep breaths till i am clear and stable and in this matter i can then see why it is i am having an energetic movement within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to now that i have realized what i was told lots of times that the body is the real being that learns and not the mind, to be very watchful and careful in aligning myself to be one and equal with and as my body, and little by little move myself from the trap of my mind, till i am the directive principle of my mind, and i live and express as my body, the real of planet earth. Thanks. Larry Manuela
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Problem: I am going to work out some problems i have been having in regards to translating words from other languages into my native language which is Papiamento, or from my native language into other languages as for e.g. Dutch or visa versa or from Papiamento to English or visa versa. And understand that this is my own experience, it doesn't necessarily mean that it happens to all people that are bilingual or multilingual.
I have noticed that if i have to translate a sentence from Dutch to English for example, i first translate the Dutch into my language, which is Papiamento within myself and from there i move to English, the same will happen too if i would have to translate from English to Dutch, i go into myself translate it in my language first and then to Dutch. This happens very fast, that it may appear as if i am translating directly from English to Dutch for example, but i am not. So what is the problem within all this.? And sometimes when i can't find a word in Papiamento i suddenly remember the word in the other language, when i then switch and really look for it in the other language, i can than find it and i say to myself in my own native language afterwards: '' see, that is the word i was looking for'' what a mind-fuck isn't...??? Let me give an example of this: I am going to use the word: '' walk.'' Now this word translated into Dutch is: ''lopen'' in Papiamento it is: '' kamna.'' Now lets say i have to translate ''walk'' into Dutch. Now what i would normally do is go to my native language first and translate it as ''kamna'' and then i know, ooh yes, ''kamna'' is ''lopen'' in Dutch, understand that this what i am writing here goes very very fast( speed of light...lol). Now here comes the tricky part, if i forget that ''walk'' is ''kamna'' in Papiamento, i block Papiamento out and go directly to Dutch and i then find it as ''lopen'' and then from here i say to myself: ''ooh yes, ''kamna'' that was the word i was looking for. ..lol This looks like 3 characters/personalities in support of each other or sometimes canceling each other out. Now each one of these languages and also including Spanish, even though i don't use it that much, have their own starting-point as in to what country and group of people i have copied them from. Can be from television/movies/books/songs and also the pictures in the study-books and magazines and newspapers. In each of these languages i copy the way the people move within/as their language, thus the way they speak the language, how they express themselves verbally using the language in certain/specific countries and also from certain/specific people that i myself will choose as articulating the language more assertively. There are people within their own languages that are very good at articulation and at making one attentive to what they are saying, as in making it very spectacular and interesting, like for example; Dr. Martin Luther King, to name just one that most people know or have hear him speak. So now that i have done all of the copying in my mind i then use them in all the languages and what happen then is that i become confused, because certain ways of saying something in one language will not come out as it will be in another language when it is translated. It is like saying something funny in English, but translating it in Dutch suddenly it is not funny anymore. And there is another problem too. Dutch for example sounds very monotonic, it doesn't sound like Spanish and English and Papiamento, these other 3 are more assertive and aggressive in way of speaking, makes one like more attentive to what they are saying, depending of course whom is speaking and in what manner, but all in all there are differences, and in order for you the reader to get a better understanding of what the heck i'm talking about here, i will place as example from each the languages a video from a political leader from certain countries speaking these specific languages. One will note that the language that is closer to the one one speaks oneself with everything of the language included, that one will tend to like that one more or better, or have that one as a preference. Hugo Chavez From Venezuela in Spanish:
Mark Rutte From Holland in Dutch:
Martin Luther King From America in English:
Jopie Abraham From Bonaire in Papiamento:
So there one can see in all 4 of these languages the body languages and the tone of voice and the way they voice themselves within their own language. Now this is not for purposes of critique or something like that, it is to just let one see the differences in the way the languages i understand are being voiced by these leaders. And these are the things i copy for example when i am speaking one of these languages, thus the way they speak, not the same, in my own way of course.
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Now what i have been noticing is that in each of these languages i have copied the words as i hear them and as i see how people use them and for what purposes and reasons, coupled with all the body language/tone of voice/face expressions/way of speaking the words. I have noticed within myself that most of us, if not all, we don't get educated from early on when we are kids, when we are being taught our languages as to learn the words exactly as how they are written in the dictionaries, we all think/belief that we know the definitions of the words we speak, but if we would to ask anyone in their own languages what the definitions are of the words they all speak in their own native languages one will notice that many if not all don't know the definitions of the very words they speak everyday, and i mean as exactly as how it is defined within the dictionaries. Thus everyone in this way are using the words according to how the words FEEL to them, and sometimes even assuming that the words may mean this or that, when it means something entirely different if one would look it up in the dictionary, but yet they have managed to use it correctly in a sentence. Thus, how it was said to them in certain specific tonality and mannerism, and all of this as a child, one will copy and mimick, and from this having a virtual understanding of what the word might mean. Thus we have made all words personal, every person with its words are carrying the words according to how he/she feels about the words personally, the personal relationship as how he/she has experienced the word in his/her environment and from the culutre and so forth. And this whole mess brings lots of confusion, because we don't understand the words we use with the same meaning, as in having the same understanding based on the definitions of the words we use. Now let alone using words to bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE, thus words that support LIFE, which does NOT separate us from life, but that we are equal in our words as we live the words we speak. Thus we have to understand the words we speak now from the perspective of our minds as they are written exactly in the dictionaries, and from there redefine them into words that when they are spoken/written and lived they bring that which is BEST for all LIFE and don't harm LIFE or bring confusion/debates/separation/conflict/friction. I know Spanish too as i already mentioned, but since i am living here in Holland, i don't have much use for it, and thus little by little because of not using it, because of not needing it here it has become very weak, especially if i were to write it down or read it, it doesn't flow like it used to be in the past. The understanding of it however when it is spoken by people whom speak spanish is fine, i understand it. Where i come from is a little island with at the moment having 16541 inhabitants. In our history we have been influenced by many cultures and beliefs/superstitions and also through languages coming from many directions. My great great grandparents were living in the slave period, and the slave mentality has left its mark in the people of the island and of which made them people whom don't speak out or stand up for their rights that easily, lots have to happen before they do so, we are mostly timid and quiet. My great great grandparents from my father side were a red indian and a black man, married with each other, thus my great great grandmother was a red indian and my great great grandfather was a black man. From my mother side they were all indians, thus my mother's mother and father were both descendants of indians, the indians from South America, from Venezuela to be more precise. On regards to the history of the people there, i leave here a link to wikipedia, where some of the history is written: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonaire
The solution:
Self-forgiveness statements:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words in relation to how i feel them within me and with how i experienced myself for the first time hearing these words, and from this perspective i think/belief that i know the definition of the words i use, when in reality i only know what i have define myself as, according to what the word means to me based on memories i have imprinted within my mind according to how my mind interpreted it in the past at the moment i first heard it, in relation to how it was sounded to/towards me and in what tonality and also for what purpose.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand in to what extent knowing more then one language will influence my life, as in understanding others and my participation in communication to/towards them sometimes difficult but also easier, because i have lots of angles/direction to look at a point(s). I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make from each language that i understand and speak a character/personality that sometimes cancel each other out but also support each other so all of them can keep on existing as the characters/peronalities behind the languages they are within my mind. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect languages within my mind together in order to enforce my own participation into and as my mind, but not speak all of them from the perspective of the words as the whom i am as the words and that they support me as life and all of life equal and one. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to engage into comparison within myself in regards to the very languages that i know, making me have back-chats in each of them sometimes as if the languages are pawns of the characters/personalities behind them. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create personalities within me in order for them to speak as if they are the real me, which is my human physical body producing the real sound, which is my voice. I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that ONLY the voice that i make with my body and the voice that i hear coming from my vocal cords IS the real voice and NOT the voice i hear within my mind that sounds like it is the real one, because the one i hear in my mind(head) is the one that my mind copied from the real one, which is the one of my human physical body. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not just be HERE in the moment when i open my mouth and speak as the words that will come out as the whom i am as the human physical form and NOT as the personalities/characters pretending to be the real one, speaking/talking as If they are Me, the human physical form, the REAL being of EARTH. I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that i am relying on a lie as personalities/characters to define the whom i am as LIFE, instead of just being here as one as equal as all as LIFE. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to copy tone of voice/way of speaking/body language/assertiveness when speaking/face expression all to be part of my personal data base where i will use them in order to coin out my own words and from this tjhink/belief that when i speak the words, that they are me, when they are all coming from memories from within me that i copied, but yet i use the real being, which is my human physical form to express them as to make them REAL. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself comprehend/understand words from my mind perspective/view/insight and totally NOT as a living expression as the whom i am as the living words, expressed from the real living being as the human physical form. I forigve myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to rule myself out as the human physical form that is real as the only one being that really speaks and can speak in this world as the ME, by replacing it with characters/personalities in a mind that are as/of energy and that they need energy from the very body that is the substance of earth as LIFE forn consumation in order to exist as IF they are real. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get confused sometimes within myself in regards to the languages i know and understand, for i mix them when i don't need to or unnecessarily, or i use words in one particular language that have a slightly different meaning in another language, and due to this i will then be understood incorrectly. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get a little frustrated with myself if i use words that may be understood in another language completely different if they were to be translated without paying attention to the sayings in another language. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react a little impatient if someone does not get what i am saying according to me, without me seeing/realizing/understanding that in the very way i used a particular word or sentence within their language, i was interpreting it from my perspective of how i understand it within my own language and thus bring it into theirs as if that word have the same value/worth/understanding when it is not always like this. Reward: Self-commitment statements:
I commit myself to make sure that
whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into trying to understand
words i don't really understand in fact what their definitions are, to just
STOP and take a deep breath till i am clear and stable, and if i am in a
position where i can look the words up i do that, if not i just breathe and use
words that i for sure know what their definitions are and then redefine them so
that they support LIFE and not my self-interest.
In this i commit myself to little by little to learn myself to speak words that i can live that are words that bring that which is BEST for me as i participate in this world, that in their turn are equally what is BEST for all LIFE, so when i live them as the whom i am, the outcome as i participate in this world is always what is BEST for all LIFE. I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into giving the languages together with the characters/personalities behind them value as if they are the whom i am, i STOP. I take a deep breath and focus on me breathing as the totality as my human physical body till i am clear and stalbe and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as the energy and from this clearness and stability in the breath, i then word myself, so the words are the real me, as the human physical form/body. I commit myself to be very vigilant in putting attention on the movements of my mind to make sure i don't fall into the trap of switching characters/personalities that are behind the languages i understand and speak and make sure i slow myself down in breath to see these movements and in this matter i can direct myself to NOT participate giving my mind illusions power over me as the human physical form that i am as the real being on/of earth. I commit myself to little by little to bring myself back here, thus earthing myself so when i speak whatever language whatever comes out of my mouth is truly ME, and not mind personalities/characters, and for this i wil use self-forgiveness done in self-honesty to find the patterns and structures within me in order to identify how i created myself to be like this and from there deprogram myself to a clean slate and then program myself as living words that are BEST for all LIFE as one as equal as all. I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into back-chatting in one of these languages to immediately STOP, take a deep breath and continue doing so if there are any reactions coming up within me, till i will be clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this clearness and stability i direct myself to speak as the words, as the whom i am one and equal. I commit myself to little by little to delete all learn copied information done in separation to myself as words and then speak words that i live as the whom i am that only produce and bring about that which is BEST for all LIFE always in ALL ways. I commit myself to whenever i see myself becoming frustrated for what i myself have inflicted on myself within myself using the words as have copied them, i immediately STOP, i take a deep breath and earth myself/bring myself back HERE and continue breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into reacting within my mind as being impatient, I STOP, take a deep breath and make sure i am clear and stable and remain in breath till i am totally one as my breath, breathing as one as equal with and as my body. Thanks Larry Manuela Join us at: www.desteni.org
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Now within this post i am going to workout a point, and this point is of me postponing to do what i have to do with regards to my DIP-course and also other things in life to.
As of a day ago i have take the decision again, as i did many times already to really this time just apply myself to what i have to do, thus to just do it..!! I have found many excuses as to not do what i have to do, and the main excuse is the one, of just sitting here and doing lots of others things, BUT the things i have to do themselves that are of importance and that makes me move faster within that which i am doing and also within the group that i am part of, i postpone them. And why..?? Just because of fear of writing TOO much and because of this then becomes overwhelmed as seeing no ending in sight. All of this of course is none-sense, because it doesn't matter how long the points can be or not be, it is about the actual being honest in working them out. Self-forgiveness statements and self-commitment statements: I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to drag my DIP-course assignment so long, just because of fear of writing too much and feel overwhelmed by all this writing, when all of this is in fact a mind-fuck that i have created within myself to not workout my participation within and as my mind, and when this happens i usually go on other websites like ''youtube'' for example and watch some videos done by other members or i get into chats with other people or someone calls me and i keep on talking without saying that i have something to do and that i have to be excused. I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into looking for ways to avoid writing out my assignment, i STOP and i take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by not doing what i have to do when i have to do it and within this same breath also sabotaging the whole group, because it slows me and the group down. I commit myself to do what i have to do in order to keep my consistency for myself and for the group, so we can move faster as a group and we all stand equal on all the points. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT hold on to my agreements i made as in living applications and compromise myself and others as myself within the group. I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into compromising myself and others as myself i STOP, i take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing else moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use time as an excuse to avoid engaging into what i have to do in order to workout my own mind and my participation within the world, as in coming with excuses of NOT having enough time, when in reality the time i do have i don't use it effectively. I commit myself to make sure to use my available time that i have constructively and effectively to what is best for all, and automatically is best for me too. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say that i will do something but then when it comes to the actual DOING it itself i don't do it, i keep on trying to avoid doing it, just to not face myself and get it over with. I realise that i am avoiding doing my tasks because i fear the time when they will become a lot, as in too much to handle and thus will not be able to cope with all of that in the amount of time i have available. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear future projections that are not HERE at all at the moment as in the physical as an actuality, instead of focusing on what i have to do and just get it done and over with. I commit myself to make sure that whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into projecting myself into the future to just STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back here in and as breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, so i can dirct myself within this clearness and stability to walk/live what is BEST for ALL LIFE. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to agree with another to use certain words as only implying what is happening now, and not to give meaning to them for the other or believing that the other might get it in this way or that way, which i don't know anyways, so better to stick to words that we both agree we use so we don't mind-fuck ourselves all the time and keep on time-looping. I realise i do this mostly because i old ways of talking and ways of being polite and nice, but these being polite/nice are not standing as the words i speak. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use words according to how i was brainwashed to use them as in order to be nice and polite but do NOT use as in accordance to what their definition itself is. I commit myself to workout a way to come to equal understanding of the words i use with with another and where we can understand each other better and have a more clear and effective communication as we use the words exactly as what the dictionary give as definition to the words and out of this when we can see in common sense that the words are not equal to LIFE, we re-define them for ourselves to live them as what will be BEST for all life, and thus we then live words that are BEST for life. Thanks. Larry Manuela
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I had a dream yesterday and it was as follows: I was somewhere on my island of birth and there was like this little path with little water-tables here and there, and on one side of this path one will have the ocean with its waves coming in, and on the other side one will have the lagoon that will be filled with this ocean current that is coming in. Now a guy i know from the island was on the other side of this path and he was like digging some little holes with its fingers in the path where the soil was wet and more easily to push ones finger through. I was observing him and the thought appear within me:'' doesn't he know about the whole ebb and flow phenomena, he is an intelligent guy, he must know..?'' So i walked on this path to meet him and when i reached him, instead of asking him if he knew about the whole ebb and flow phenomena, i just automatically started to help him digging these little holes in the soil using my fingers, in this case my middle-finger. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````
So now that is all i remember about this dream, i don't see the reason why he was digging little holes in this pathway that eventually when the water rises will be gone anyways. For those whom don't know about dreams, first of all, when one dreams, everything and everyone in the dream is YOU...!! It is your dream and the dream is happing in your mind, with pictures and images and sounds and voices and people and land and everything.........all of which is yourself as all of that. I am saying this, because many people belief that when they dream and they see someone that they know in the dream, that somehow it has to do with them in the dream, but it is all ourselves alone. It is what we have imprinted within our minds as pictures that are memories, our own data-base of information recorded by the mind from what the mind interpret of the reality we engage in and the people we interact with and from everything else. Now i am going to point out and then work out all the words in this dream and to see what kind of relationship i have created within myself to/towards them. words to work with: ** my island of birth ** path way ** ocean ** water-tables ** holes dugg with fingers ** ebb and flow ** intelligent guy ** soil ** middle finger Now that i have the words that i see a connection with them within myself, i can go and start looking at what relationship i have connected with them within me, what these words mean to me in my relationship to them. ** My island of birth: at the moment this island is to me just a dry piece of island in the middle of the ocean where i happened to be bron into this world, where my mother and father and siblings all have been born into this world, it is where i would call ''home.'' ** Path way: This to me represent where i come from, when i was very young how much i liked it to walk on the path ways that the goats will make in the woods, it felt like a natural little road to walk on and a sense of belonging and also a sense of appreciation for they have built a little path way in the middle of the woods where there were none. ** Ocean: I see the ocean as a great force, and where i come from which is an island, the ocean is all around us, and this makes one feel as if one is literally in the middle of this ocean, and one is very vulnerable to it, but yet again it makes one feel as one belong to something much much bigger and powerful. ** water-tables: these water tables i talk about here are small water tables that are left behind in some little holes after it has been raining or as in this case when the ocean have receeded back, like little ponds. And in my experience as a kid with these little water tables after the rain, i saw it as abundance everywhere, where all the animals can just come and they will have water to drink at every step of the way. ** holes dugg with fingers: this reminds me of playing in sand when i was little enjoying myself being creative. ** ebb and flow: the rise and the receeding of the ocean coming in and going out, i have a memory of me going to fish with my father on a bridge where there this happens this whole ebb and flow movement, and found it fascinating when i was a kid. ** intelligent guy: this guy i know from my island of birth is a guy whom is very intelligent, by this i mean he really did his best and studied very well and was a A+ student always, and i remember him as being very quiet not talking to people that much, and somehow i admired him for what he could do,when it comes to studying. ** soil: i always like the smell of the soil when the rain falls on it, it brings the freshness of the soil to my senses, and i have the memory of the soil as being good to me, for when i was little we planted lots of vegetables and fruits and the soil always gave, and i just loved it to see how the growth took place,-------------------- fascinating stuff. ** middle finger: this finger to me is the finger i use most of the times to punch holes in whatever or to digg in holes. Self-forgiveness in relation to all these points: I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to emotionally attach myself to an island on this earth, without seeing/realizing/understanding that to attach myself to anything, means big time separation to the rest of what is of and as LIFE. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to an island on this earth by seeing this island as my home, instead of seeing the whole planet as my home and also home of countless of other beings and manifestations that share this planet as our home with me equally and one. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the island where i have been born into this world as a special piece of land, because my parents/grandparents/siblings were also born there, within this excluding the rest of humanity and also the rest of expressions of life on this planet earth, of which this island is just a very tiny part. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this island i was born into, without seeing/realizing/understanding that to define myself according to anything means separation and limitation. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes feel offended if someone would talk negatively about the island where i come from, making me feel as if i have to defend the island, when in reality what i am defending is my own feelings/emotions and believes i have in relation to the island i come from. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect what i think, and what i feel to an island and to be of importance and value to me, when i did not see at all, that all of it is my own mind garbage and has nothing to do at all with the island itself. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use '' my island'' as a way to protect my own self-interest, my own idea of what i think/feel about this island and the people that live there. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself into believing that what i think and belief about an island is what i am, and in this make me react when this island that i have define myself as is being critisized/questioned, or the people that live there are being questioned/critisized/judged, when in reality it is all ME, because i am the one wherein the idea of what the island means to me exist within me and as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea within myself in relation to pathways on my island of birth that are being made by goats walking behind each other on the same path till it becomes a little pathway, and that this pathway gave me a feeling of belonging to nature and an appreciation to nature, when in reality all this is my own self-created idea about this path creation by the goats. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect feelings to nature and based on the feelings to appreciate and try to belong to nature, i think and belief i am one with nature and the animals when in reality i am not. I forigve myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a SENSE of belonging to nature instead of BEING part of nature, because in the ''belonging'' i am implying separating myself from that which i am part of and as. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think/perceive/see the ocean as something that is powerful beyond me, and that made me FEEL as if i am in the middle of it and that i belong to the ocean, wherein once again i use the word ''belonging'' as in seeing/perceiving myself as separate from the ocean instead of seeing myself as one as equal as the ocean, as the ocean is part of me as my physical body is part of the ocean one and equal together as NATURE, as LIFE. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive little water-tables on a pathway as something that signified abundance/plenty, without seeing/realizing/understanding that all of this is my own self-created idea i have hold on to from the moment i created that idea within myself as a kid, without ever truly questioning, nor understanding what these watertables really are in fact and how they really support LIFE, which in this matter i created myself more into separation from reality, because i was seeing/interpreting reality from the perspective of my mind-view/perspective and not from a living application, thus as a living as the body as one and equal with ALL of nature and ALL of LIFE. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory within me as a kid digging holes in the sand with my fingers and seeing/interpreting/preceiving this through my mind as being creative, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i was in my mind creating an idea of what creativity is or should be, without never ever in fact BEING creative, thus in fact standing as the point of creating itself, that creating is ME, that i understand creativity as ME, and i live creativity as the WHOM I AM, in fact one and equal.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link/connect creativity with an idea about creativity in my mind instead of truly just live creativity, as in BEING creative. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect ebb and flow to a memory and from thereof find fascination within it, without being fascinating about the movement of the ocean itself as in ebb and flow as part of me as part of NATURE as one as equal as LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to forget how i really experienced the whole ebb and flow movement of the ocean when i was a kid, and that i now only have this fascination with the whole phenomena only from the perspective of, and in relation with a memory, and NOT as an actuality, NOT as an IN-factness. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide certain experiences within myself when i was kid that were of importance to me as to live as the physical body deep inside me, that it now takes effort to remember them, so i can use them in order to understand how i in fact experience my own physical body in relation to/with nature when i was a kid, because as a kid one is NOT yet deep rooted in the mind and the workings of the mind, one is more physically expressive, and applying oneself more physically. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to admire a guy i know from my place of birth, because of him being very intelligent and always doing his best in his studies, within this i am implying to myself that i may NOT be capable of achieving such things, just because i limited myself in the past in relation to studying because it was something for me to be against, because of the moment in classes where i was refused answers to many questions and they were just shovel aside as IF they were of no importance, within which i created a pattern within myself to be against studying/study institutions/teachers, because from my perspective/understanding to study or to learn something means that i have questions about things i don't understand so i need answers to help me understand these things i don't understand, thus by not giving me an answer i took it as NOT wanting me to understand what i asked about. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself abhor studying or learning just because of a few incidents with teachers, instead of looking at studying itself or learning itself, but took it on the institution and the teachers and myself as a form of blame, in this case sabotating myself to NOT learn or study what i needed to study and CAN study or learn, because i know i am capable of learning and studying like most people. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself because of creating an abhor against studying or learning, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am in fact participating in judgement of my own mind to/towards teachers/studies/study institutions, that limits me to understand the whom i am as a participant in this world, in this reality and also giving way into distancing myself into applications that hinder myself to be more effective in questioning myself and everything else, when it comes to investigating all things and keep that which is good, which implies keeping that which will be BEST for all LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have given the soil as part of nature, as part of life more value and also being seen by me as something special without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am in fact trying to use my point of view, and my liking to separate nature into parts, and elevating these parts within my idea of them more value then what nature is as all of what nature consists of and exists as. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place as memory the smell of the soil when it is wet with the rainfall within separation to/towards myself and the rain/the soil/the smell to be part of me and never stood as the rain/the soil/the smell as the totality of nature as that which my body is parts of and as. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory existent within me of my middle finger being the finger i use to digg holes in the sand and also to punch holes into whatever. I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to remember the real physical, in fact experience of my finger digging holes, because i have only placed within my mind the memory of me digging holes with my middel finger, but then placed this memory within me as an energetic experience as how i felt the whole experience through the mind. Self-commitment statements: I commit myself to make sure that every time i am about to or i am emotionally attaching myself to my island or anything that i have given value as ideas within and as myself, i immediately STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and in this make sure that i have no reactions whatsoever, and if there comes some reactions up, i continue breathing and not give them attention till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to STOP making distinctions and also to STOP giving certain parts of nature more value then others, and to just be here as one as equal with nature and leave no room for interpretation or beliefs of any kind and just breathe and be HERE together with nature as part of me as i am part of nature. I commit myself to make sure that everytime i am about to go into or i am into giving my island of birth special privilege, above everything else that nature consists of and as, just because i have parents/grandparents/siblings and co-habitants that i have given special meaning within my own ideas, i just STOP, and take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, earth myself and continue the focus on my breathing till nothing else moves within me as the mind as energy, and from this i am sure i am always HERE and not lost within and as my mind. I commit myself to make sure that every time i am about to or i am defining myself according to whatever in this world to just remind myself to STOP, and take a deep breath and bring myself back here till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the energy as the mind. I commit myself to STOP myself everytime i am about to or i am feeling offended by people having negative judgments about my island of birth or the people whom live there, and just make sure i STOP, take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to let go of all my preconceive ideas and views on the island, because all these have nothing to do with the island itself, they are just my own mind interpretation of what i have hold unto within me as valuable and of importance, thus i STOP, focus on my breathing and continue doing so, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as the energy. I commit myself that whenever i am about to or i am deluding myself to use my own self-created ideas about my island of birth wherein i will feel offended or personally attacked to just STOP, and take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to let all SENSES of belonging go, for they do NOT serve LIFE, but only my self-interest, thus whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into sensing myself to belong to, i STOP, and i take a deep breath and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy. I commit myself to little by little to focus more on my breathing and be aware of my breathing and my physical human form, and to not let myself loose myself within my mind, and to also make sure i do not take it too hard on myself and give myself the opportunity to deal with myself taking baby-steps, but sure steps, steps that are grounded and stable. I commit myself to little ny little learn more and more about my human physical body's abilities so i can be creative as the human form in a natural form and not being creative from the perspective of what my mind perceive/view/interpret creativity should be or ought to be. I commit myself to let all my self-created judgements about the educational system and the people within it, and just be open to study and learn what is necessary to study and be learned that i am capable of doing in a particular moment in order for me to be an more effective participant within the group of humanity so i can together with others that are standing for the same point/cause/purpose/ to bring about a world that truly is BEST for ALL LIFE.' I commit myself to make sure that whenever i am about to or i am seeing that i am experiencing myself through the mind, i STOP immediately and take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and from this i can move in actions that are what is BEST for me and also best for the rest of all of LIFE.
Thanks
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This is a sentence that is being used by many of us many times during our lives and depending of ones profession maybe even daily.
PROBLEM: This trying to save human lives, we are using it as an excuse to NOT bring about a way of living where ALL life is dignified, and NOT just the human life, but the rest of expression/manifestations/forms of life that also co-exist together with the human in this world, in this reality, and which are contributing and sometimes even in horrific ways, so that all life functions here, including the human life. But the humans somehow have the belief and also an opinion that all that is here is just for the humans to take and take and take and consume at all costs. We are so blind and separated from reality that we think/belief that what we do and how we live as humans on this planet, that somehow what we contribute is of more value then what the rest of the expressions are contributing, when in reality the earth and nature and the animal kingdom and the plant kingdom, are really doing the MORE and can express themselves at their very best without the human on this planet. If we really have a very closer look at reality, the human is the one race that is much more dependent on the other races and expressions and manifestations, so much so that the other races and expressions and manifstations don't really need the human at all...!! They can exist without the human..!!! But the human on the other hand CANNOT exist without them..!!
Is the human such a stupid thing that it cannot see this...?? Or is the human deliberately trying its best to control that which is more advanced and much better equiped physically to live on this planet than itself..?? The whole concept of trying to save human lives is so stupid to put it more softly, and i am not judging here, i am exposing our way of living and how we're using words, that do NOT coincide/align with reality at all. Because we all know that everyone and everything DIES. Some expressions may have a longer lifespan then others, but dying they WILL...!! And the saving lives is not real, because LIFE is always HERE, it is what exists as existence. The truth behind it is; that the human is fearing death and trying to prolong its living on the planet as the human form as long as possible, but in the end the body that was so-called; ''saved'' to NOT die in that moment will eventually DIE, or to put in another way, will transformed to be used again on this planet. The only way that the human knows it is alive is as the human body. And even this is NOT really so, we are at the moment NOT our bodies, we are personalities in a mind. There is no other way that the human is aware that it is alive other then being a human on this planet. The human may have all kinds of beliefs and opinions but the real truth and each one knows this within themselves, and that is that at the moment existing as the human form on this planet EARTH, is the only awareness of oneself one have as being alive. Some may belief that they are a soul in the human body, but not one of them that is believing this, thus that they are a soul that is existent according to them within the human body is aware of themselves as such, it is just a belief in their MINDS that lots of humans hold on to as IF it is really real and actually really really exist, that they actually ARE this SOUL but yet not ONE of them that is convinced of this illusion can say nor proof to themselves that they are indeed a soul in the body they live in on planet EARTH,----------------------- to repeat this once more, and that they can leave the body for instance at will and than come back again in it....!! Thus what we have been given to work with as the human beings we are, but we are NOT really expressing oursleves completely to our utmost potential as the human form, because at the moment we are NOT using our ability for purposes of SERVING, which in reality implies ''TO GIVE,'' but we use this ability to control ourselves and also others and everything else. Now i understand that one may react to the word ''serving,'' because serving to most of us is very much strongly connected/linked to being a slave and that to serve is something low, as of having no importance and value, only if it can be used as having a value to the one(s) that is being served in the current understanding within this world that we have created as the current world system of money where inequality reigns. SOLUTION: Thus living is NOT about saving lives, life doesn't need saving. If we are trying to save lives, we are far removed from reality, it is about assisting/supporting all the expressions of all LIFE as what LIFE is and as how life manifest itself in zillions of forms and manifestations in the BEST possible way, that result always in ALL kinds of ways, what IS BEST for ALL life...!! In this way, we will NOT fear death anymore, because we have than finally truly LIVE, while we were here to our utmost potential and also at the same time contributing to the uplifment of supporting other expressions to also live to their utmost potential. REWARD: The reward for all this will be that we each as expressions of life will perfect ourselves as the expressions that we are as LIFE, on all levels and as everything, thus that all of LIFE is functioning at its very BEST as its expression/manifestaions/forms and in this we are all than really FREE, because we are then assisting/supporting all of ourselves as individual expressions of LIFE and as a collective of life to live in full potential to always expand and grow as LIFE, which is oneness and equality, which always will result in an outcome that will be what is BEST for ALL LIFE. Thanks. Larry Manuela
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Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/
