Day 287, What is understanding Part 2

In the previous post I wrote the following, and this is just to give a little illustration of what I will be continuing with in the post.


" This means that all of these words I never ever lived them as whom I am for real. All the words I/we use are talking and saying something about something that exists within and without us. Most of the words have an actual real manifested form in this reality, in which they can be seen. And there are forms that are subtle but yet physical, they cannot be seen with the human physical eyes so to speak. So I can say that I do have knowledge and information about these words, but how I turn these words as knowledge and information into Self-Awareness is a whole other story which involves actual practice and dedication and patience with oneself till Self-Awareness steps in and with it also understanding."


Now I will move to Self-forgivenesses and Self-commitment statements, regarding the previous post.


                                                       

Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements:

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to really investigate and do self-introspection to see/realize and understand what understanding really means in practical living.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into avoiding and sabotaging myself to really investigate and do self-introspection, to see/realize and understand what understanding in practical living really means, I STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am not thoroughly investigating and doing self-introspection in regards to the word; understanding and what it implies in real physical living.

Therefore, I commit myself to little by little to do real investigation and self-introspection on understanding what exists as words within and as myself and within and as the world in common sense and words that not lead to common sense as what is best for all, I redefine them so I can live the word for myself in common sense in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not actually really do understand what it means for real to practically live the desteni message as; ' oneness and equality, that which is best for all life,' which implies that I live oneness and equality, that which is best for all life as whom I am.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into not really practically live the message of desteni as whom I am, because of trying to understand it as knowledge and information of the mind without practical living of it in every moment, I STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am too much trying to understand as using knowledge and information about the message of desteni instead of living at it as it should be as I have proven for myself already what it is to live the message using the tools of desteni.

Therefore, I commit myself to live the message more and more and stop mentalizing the message less and less and turn the knowledge and information into real practical living.

I forgive myself that I haven't  accepted and allowed myself to give myself as the awareness as whom I am as life within and as my human physical body and this physical existence a chance to come forth and start to live as one as equal with the my human physical body here.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into clouding my awarness with what the mind present to me instead of just being here and breathing as one as equal with my human physical body and the awareness within and as it as life, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I not letting my awareness come through/up within and as my human physical body, because I allow my mind to direct me as if the mind is the awareness part of me, when it is not.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to m,ake sure that I little by little writing by writing and especially breath by breath live less and less in and as my mind and more and more in as as the awareness as me as the life-force within and as my human physical body, one and equal.

In the next blog I will start with each word I have written and start investigating them in common sense and see where I am not living the word, and how I could redefine the word so I can live it in this world in a way that is best for all life.



Thanks.



Larry Manuela



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Day 286, What is understanding?

I have listen to many people talk/speak and give perspective on what is understanding.
There was one man that I used to listen to him talking. He called himself: " The speaker."

His name was Jiddu Krishnamurti. From all the things I have heard him speak about, there is only one thing that I kept with me and hold on to, and that was/is, and I will quote him: " To understand, is to transform what IS."


                                                             

So with these simple words, I saw that I did not understand anything about myself nor about anything in this world, even the things I would say I understood, they're not real understanding.
Within this understanding, it means that when someone is really living as something completely, looking at it completely as it IS, without the definitions and all of that understanding whatever one is looking at comes into being.
So here I am looking at this one word understanding, and after awhile I came across the people of desteni and their message is: "Oneness and Equality, that which is best for all life."

And I ask myself: "Do I understand this message completely?" How does one do come about to understand for real such a message, which is even more then just a message. It's a living principle. Now I know what this message means, but there is NO understanding of it yet, because if there was an understanding of it, it would have been something that I am living continuously in every second of every breath.
It would be like for example, when I was a baby, I used to crawl and then I moved to standing and then walking and eventually running. So there was an understanding of crawling as a baby, then because of the understanding of cawling I moved to standing and then from there was an understanding of standing, and so I moved to the next step which was walking till I got to the running. So within this one see that there are real physical changes that occur in the progression of growth of the baby and understanding of the body itself on a physical level as how itself functions and what it has to do according to its own design.
Now within this understanding, there is something else going on, which is called: "awareness."

So I see within myself that real understanding also with it goes hand in hand actual awareness. With this I mean, that without understanding there will be no awarness and without awareness there is no understanding possible. I am now a grownup man, and I have no understanding of how it was and is that I am walking for example, because there is no awareness of me walking. So how could it be that I as a baby went through all these steps from crawling all the way up to walking/running and now that I am doing the last step as what the purpose within the design of the human body was/is, I cannot only not explain it in detail and speceficity, but I have no understanding at all as in HOW my body as a baby did all that. But yet here I am, my body is still doing it, I physically have evolved from crawling to standing and then to walking/running, which would be the purpose of having two legs, existing to walk on them.
Now here is the dilemma because I am doing something or better said, my body is busy doing something wihtout me being aware of it all as myself. I am so unaware of everything, that I take unawareness as even natural, like it is all suppose to work by itself automatically. Does it really works automatically or is this word: "automatically" a justification of/for not understanding how me as the body functions and me not being aware of my body as my own functioning. Automatic working is my interpretation of myself not being aware of how I function as my body.

I will place a little list to start working on real understanding about these words.

List of words I do not understand about me and about the world in actual Self-Awareness:

**  Thoughts
**  Emotions
**  Feelings
**  Anger
**  Fear
**  Life
**  Death
**  Walking
**  Seeing
**  War
**  Animals
**  Wind
**  Clouds
**  Air
**  Water
**  Human body
**  Planet Earth
**  The universe
**  Atom
**  Molecule
**  Money
**  Sadness
**  House
**  Car
**  Airplane
**  Learning
**  School
**  Life-force
**  Being


So I can place much more words and say, I know these words and what they imply, but I do NOT have any understanding whatsoever what these words and their definitions actually imply in actual Self-Awareness at all.
This means that all of these words I never ever lived them as whom I am for real. All the words I/we use are talking and saying something about something that exists within and without us. Most of the words have an actual real manifested form in this reality, in which they can be seen. And there are forms that are subtle but yet physical, they cannot be seen with the human physical eyes so to speak. So I can say that I do have knowledge and information about these words, but how I turn these words as knowledge and information into Self-Awareness is a whole other story which involves actual practice and dedication and patience with oneself till Self-Awareness steps in and with it also understanding.

In the next blog I will be doing self-forgiveness on this whole ordeal.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela



Join us at: Desteni

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Day 285, Work/Communication with the children = Debt based Money Problems- Part 2

In this blog I am continuing where I left of from the previous blog.
Here is the link to that one blog: http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/02/day-284-workcommunication-with-children.html

Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitments statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not find the job that I have interesting/not of my liking because, the machine is having the same technical problems all the time and they are not being fixed properly and this makes my work on the machine more stressful, because the pressure is on me to produce more, when I can't produce more when the machine is not running well.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into judgement of my job and looks for ways to blame it within and as my mind, I STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind.

I realize that I am judging and blaming my job by finding it not interesting and out of the confines of my liking, because it has some technical problems that are not being fixed, thus stress ensues.

Thus, within this I commit myself to look at my job as a point to support myself within the system and not judge it or blame it just because there are problems and it is not function well. I make sure that when there is problem to remond myself to stay focus on my breathing and just make sure I engage into some other little work that take my attention away from the point where the problem is where I keep on stressing, and make sure also that I am physically busy doing something and just take it to the technical staff to come and solve it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sad and feel guilty, because I cannot communicate with my children properly as I would like it to be.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into being sad and feeling guilty, because I cannot communicate with my children properly, I STOP---------take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that because of not proper communication with my children makes me feel sad and also guilty, when all I have to do is communicate the situation in a way/manner they can understand and take it from there as it is, and that this is the situation I find myself in and its going to be so for awhile and that I am in a solution to it that is going to be a route/section.

Thus within this I commit myself to just stick with the physical tasks that i have to do within the system to support myself and to get out of the problems I am in with regards to the debts  that I have created for myself and when all is set, I can communicate this all to the children as practical as possible and make sure when I do so, to stay stable within my breath and direct myself to communicate in clarity without fluctuation in voice nor energetic feelings of emotions,just share the my situation as it is and what it will mean in regards to my communication to/with them and that's it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make debts in the past and due to this have to now face the consequences related to these debts I have made in the past, be them unpractical debts or debts that I just had to make to survive within the system.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into making new debts, to Immediately STOP,------------take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that because of me making debts, have severe consequences that are not best for all, and thus that I have to STOP this and change the way I deal with money.


Thus within this, I commit myself to make sure I learn and teach myself to work WITH money and not make it something I have to fight against and treat as if it means nothing to me, and thus spent money like it has no value, and just use it as what is just actually needed and that is it.




Self-Reward:

Within these two blogs I have seen/realized and understood what I have done within and as myself, within the decisions I have made within my past and also see now that I am in the consequence phase of them, what it is I need to do in order to correct these mistakes and just face what is coming to me in common sense, and be humble with myself and with others within the whole process and to stay vigilant and focused too, so I do not let myself get abused because I am being humble with myself with others. I make sure I keep the common sense points sharp.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela


Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Day 284, Work/Communication with the children = Debt based Money Problems

Now within this blog I am investigating within myself how work and communication with the children are  being affected with the problems I have with money in the moment in the form of debt.



                                                         

When it comes to work, the way I am affected in relation to money is, that I have to do a work that I am not really interested in doing, but HAVE TO do it anyways, because I have to take care of myself within this system that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. So when at work and when certain and specific problems manifest themselves that I see that are problems related to making the machine to function in a proper manner/way and it is not being done, because the quantity that have to be produced is at risk and we have little time left, makes me react to the whole job within itself, because within myself I am someone that in practical work, I love to take my time to make something function perfectly so I do not have to every time keep on having to fix the same thing over and over and over again. And this is what is happening at work, the same problems are manifesting over and over and they are not really being fixed as it should be, otherwise they won't be manifesting all the time, very simple. And this is why I do not like this job, because there is no time for no-one to actually properly do their jobs in the best possible way, because the amount that have to be produced goes first. And this is because the factory have to make more and more money, and the more products we produce the more money the factory makes. And based on this the workers then have to function using a machine that is not properly running at its optimum capacity, which through this making the one that runs the machine having to run around trying to prevent the same old problem from keep on repeating itself with no avail, costing more time and lots of scrap to be heeped up, which is for the company loss of money. So in the end the running after the quantity to make more money produces more and more stress among the workers  and put more commanding stressful pressure on the workers with lots of rules as to try and find out within a stressful environement what trully is going on, when in reality what is going on is that the machine itself needs an overhaul sound technical maintenance or repair to function as best as possible. So all this, makes the job that I do a challenging job to me, because the condition in which I have to work are not comfortable and are stressful and hasty.

Now, in regards with the communication with my children that do not live here, but have moved to another country, here to because of money is limiting my approach within communication to/towards them, because the money I have is not enough for me to always be in communication to them, and then besides that, I have my working hours and shifts that makes it more challenging, because when the possibility exist that I can communicate with them, they are then in another country at sleep or at school, because of the time difference and when I can I am at work. Thus what rest me is only the weekends and within the weekends again, money will play a role, because in order to call them I need money. So all in all, I am not content nor satisfy with the frequency of the communication which in turn makes me sad and also gives me a sense of guilt, because I am in a position where I am not financially stable enough that I can do more about the frequency of communication and make it more fluid and consistent, as I really want it to be.


So within this all the debts I have put myself in within the past either by foolish decisions in the past or some debts that are just debts that have to be taken when one is not earning enough to not have debts, all in all today have its influence in the form of consequence in my life. So for this let me now move to the self-forgiveness statements and self-commitment statements within these points.


Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make an issue about my job in finding it something that I am not really interested in doing but have to do it anyways because of having to survive in the system and instead of just letting this worrying about what  well and what not, in how things are going and just do what I see I can do in a moment at work that is what is best for all and just do it, I let myself get overpowered by this worry and disatisfaction about the work and lose myself within and as my mind.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into judging my work and my place with my work and how I do my work, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am judging my work and thus judging myself within and as my work wherein I create disatisfaction within and as myself to/towards my work and lose myself within and as my mind within and as this judgement, which is Self-judgement.

Thus within this, I commit myself step by step meticulously to work out this judgement I have created within and as myself to and towards my job through the writing support for myself of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, till I am free from this judgement and when I am at work to just focus on my breathing while working and make sure I just do what I have to do, to do the job as best as I can and leave it to that.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame people at work that are suppose to fix the machine to make it work properly that they are not doing so within and as myself and because of seeing that the machine are not running properly because of this blame, makes me then react against my work itself as a job I do not like to do, because I have to work on a machine that is not functioning well and due to this will make my personal job, running the machine not as effective as it should be, thus impairing my performance at the machine with the consequence of the possibility of being the one that is blamed for not producing more quantity as the factory expect of me when running the machine.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into blaming others about their work to defend my self-interest which will be to running the machine ineffectively, I STOP------------Take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize I am blaming the ones that their work at work is about fixing the machine, because I see my self-interest at risk, my survival at risk due to this.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure I work out within myself this blame of others just to protect my self-interest and step by step when at work make sure I just stick to what I have to do on the machine and do my best to do it properly and if there is something I can add to help those whom are doing the fixing, to do so and not judge them and make sure that I am stable in my communication to/towards them and also clear and breathe, focusing on physical work my hands have to do to do the work and just be completely focus on that and within that do my best and that's it.



To be continued............................................






Thanks.



Larry Manuela


Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


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Day 283, Memories that triggers the need/want/desire for sex in the relasionship : Part- 8

Now, I am going to write the last Dimension in regard to this particular point.
This Dimension will be, the Consequence-Dimension.



                                                                 

In my previous blog, I come to this conclusion about myself:


Self-Reward:


Within this writing I have found within myself that I have made my body addictive to certain/specific patterns, but yet at the same time I can now use these pattern to identify when I am participating within and as my mind, because the body does not lie, it just follows the input that it has been given, or to put it more correctly, I manipulate through my mind my body to react in certain/specific ways in order to keep my mind going coming up with more thoughts and then to get the experience as if these are real by making the body react to them. Thus now that I am more aware of these, I can use these body behaviours to sort out myself as to what happens within my mind and forgive myself for allowing myself to have such thoughts that affect my body.

So now up to the Consequence-Dimension.

Consequence-Dimension:

***  having to do masturbation based on mind illusions

***  abusing my body to comply to the images/pictures for self-gratification

***  looking for sex with woman just to satisfy my mind desire

Self-Forgiveness & Self-Commitment Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate so much into my mind that in the end I gave in, into my mind participation and have to look for a point of energy release, which will be masturbation.

When and as I see myselof going into or I am about to go into participate into my mind as to in the end get to the energy release, which is masturbation, to immediately STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am letting myself participate deliberately in the mind in order to get the energy release in the end as what I will find through masturbation, thus making masturbation a tool for my mind projections and a support for my mind addictions.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure to pay attention to my deliberate participation in my mind to generate certain/specific feelings and emotions that eventually will lead to masturbation on what has been played out within and as my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body to comply to images/pictures in my mind for self-gratification, wherein the self-gratification itself is what is of value and the body where self is getting the gratification from/of is of no importance then to just be the point where I can get self-gratification.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into or I am about to go into abuse my body to comply to the images/pictures in my mind for self-gratification, I STOP-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I use images/pictures for my self-gratification and abuse my body to produce the necessary energy to in end for my mind to consume the energy that I will experience as a positive energetic experience.

Thus, within this I commit myself to make sure that I place importance in my body as it exist here and what it does here in every moment of breath and make sure that I remind myself to be here within and as my body in order to not get lost within and as my mind and make sure that I do some physical work that support me in just being here breathing, within and as my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a consequence for myself wherein I will be looking for woman to have sex with just to satisfy my mind desires.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into trying through my mind looking for woman to hve sex with, I STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am deliberately trying to look for woman to have sex with, just because I have made myself addicted to my mind desires and look for ways to satisfy these desires.

Therefore, I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to  work out this deliberate mind participation where I sabotage myself as self here and choose to fall for my mind desires, and make commitments to myself I am aware that I can keep.




Self-Reward:

Within this thread I have seen/realized and understood what kind of consequences I have created for myself in regards to this particular point. And how I am using/abusing my body to comply to the mind with its self-created, self-accepted and self-allowed desires. So now that I have worked out the points, it is more clear and simple to spot the patterns when they come up and stop myself in time and not participate, till I will be clear of this particular desire that have consequences for myself that are not what is best for myself nor for others as myself.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela



Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG