Now I am going to start with writing my commitment statements within this blog in relation to the first blog about this problem I am having with my children. Here is the link to this particular blog I wrote:
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/09/day-330-very-naughty-children.html
Self-Commitment statement:
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into letting myself feel guilty, I STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, I make sure I focus on my
physical breath here till I am calm and relaxed within myself and I am sure that there is not energetic movements within me, I then
communicate with my children.
I see/realize and understand that I am feeling guilty for them becoming extreme naughty children, because I think and believe I have neglected them and have abandon them and leave them behind alone with the mother, even though I am aware that I had to leave.
Thus within this, I commit myself to whenever I am about to going into or I am about to go into to stop myself in that moment and remind myself that I have to breathe and make sure that I touch something with my hands, it can be anything that is close by and in reach or I can touch myself to help me stay focus when I am busy breathing and bringing myself back here to ground myself and then when I am satisfied and sure that I am just here breathing and grounded, I then move myself/direct myself to communicate with my
children.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into
blaming myself that my children has become extreme naughty children, I STOP----------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I see/realize and understand that I am blaming myself, because of what I perceive myself to be of my fault that they have become the way they are.
Thus within this, I commit myself to stop perceiving myself as the point of blame and fault initiator of the way they have become and make sure I find
solutions as to how to communicate with them that will form a relationship that will result in what is best for all, by being stable and constant within the way I communicate with them.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into interpreting myself as being the only one who is to blame for the outcomes in relation to others in my life, I stop------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I blaming myself as in; taking everything on me, instead of looking at the
whole situation constructively to come up with practical solution that will have a result that is best for all.
Therefore, I commit myself to constructively look at a situation and do what I can in that moment that will lead or have an outcome that will be best for all participating in that particular situation.
When and as I see myself judging and putting down other people's remark or advise on how to deal with my children, when they themselves do not have children that are in anyways like the mine, I STOP----------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as
the mind as energy.
I realize that I am judging other people concerning my children, especially when I am aware that they themselves do not have the
experience of dealing practically with children that are in this way, because I see the people giving me the advise as unreliable and/or without practical personal experience in dealing with children that are in this way.
Therefore, I commit myself to take all
information I can gather and take them as information that are constructive and look how I can implement them with my children to see which one will work best, because I am aware that I haven't tried everything yet and all kinds of ways, thus it is to just try all of the advises that seem probable and see which will work best and keep the ones that I see are practically working out for me and the children.
When and as I see myself going into reaction of
anger and resentment to/towards others for giving me advise and telling me that my children are just doing "kids stuff," as if they have experience with being in their presence to have such a
judgement, I STOP.............take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize the anger to/towards people using the words: "kids stuff" is because of me interpreting them as judging me being incompetent and making the situation with my children seem as if it is something worse then it is.
Thus within this, I commit myself to not judge myself as being incompetent and as someone that makes things seem bigger then they are, and just look at the situation as it is in fact and out of that see how I can fix it and come up with solution that will have an outcome that is best for all, and to remind myself to keep looking at it without judging it, but simply as how it is right now, right here.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into judging other parents that give my advise of how to deal with my children that are extreme naughty, when they themselves don't have children like this, and wherein I judge their advise of not being valid, I STOP-------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as
energy.
I realize that I judge other parents that don't have children like have giving me advise on how to deal with them as invalid, because of the very fact that they themselves do not have children that are in the extreme behavior my children are, thus within this their advise would probably not work, without me even try the parts out that I didn't put in practice yet.
Thus within this, I commit myself to incorporate and put to practice the parts of the advises the other parents give to me to see if it can work with my children too, and everything that works with them, I keep on building on them till I get a best way of dealing with them and not only dealing with them, but actually solving the problem that is
existent within and as their behavior.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into judging psychologists of not taking me serious and giving me theories, that when I put them in practice don't work with my children and they then put it on me as if I am the one probably not implementing it correctly, I STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I relied too much on what the psychologists are saying instead of finding out in the moment of application what are the changes and where there can be alterations and
modifications to suit my children best, so that change can possibly happen, instead of immediately writing them off as ineffective.
Thus within this, I commit myself to not write off advises or theories of psychologist immediately when they are not working practically, but to see if I can change them and modify them to suit me in helping my children help themselves changing themselves.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into judging my children as being extreme/very naughty, without actually being there living with them, because of them living far away from me in another country, I STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I m clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that my judgement of my children are coming from hearsay from the mother and my older sister whom have had the experience of being with them, but yet I am also aware that this is their own personal
interpretation of the behavior of the children and not that they have investigated the underlying currents and reasons of the why's and how's they are behaving in this manner, and if it is something that is more a momentary reaction to/towards certain situation or event or that it is the way they have become and are living it out.
Thus within this, I commit myself to mostly look at the situation of my children in regards to their behavior as what they will actually tell me within their own words and how they look at things from their own perspectives, and based on this I can only support them with advising them with what can
work for them and what not and how they can be effective themselves in making sure that they in their own lives can live in a way that have a result that is best for themselves and also for others, thus that they are not a obstruction to others as themselves.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into fearing my own fear of letting my children come here to live with me, because I might fail in bringing them up, I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I am in fear of
failing in raising up my own children, because I see my own life as a failure right now, being on myself, thus how could I be of any support to them in this kind of situation.
Therefore, I commit myself to not see my own life as a
failure first and solve the problems I have first and when I am certain that I am ready and that I can let them come live with me, I do that. For now my focus is going to be on my own fear of my own self-perceived failure.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into feeling disgusted by people that say to me that they are lucky to have had children that are not like mine and that theirs are "good children", I STOP----------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and
stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I feel disgusted by people telling me that they are lucky to have children that are not like mine, because I am of the understanding that there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" children, that there are only
consequences we have come to interpret as "good" or "bad" so we can fit into the society we have come to accept and allow as the way we live with each other.
Thus within this, I commit myself to not letting myself fall into the feeling of feeling disgusted with other people that say to me that they are lucky their children turned out to be "good children" and are not like mine, because within me I am aware where they are coming from and do understand their judgement, thus I just make sure that I stick to being stable and direct in a consistent and constant manner with my children communicating to them to rewards of living in accordance to principles of live, that are best for all, and that by sticking to that application within their own lives will one day be part of the way they
express themselves and will be having as result always what will be best for all.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into the backchat of : " Are you serious, just look at the state of the world we live in, there is nothing "good" about the state of the world we live in at all, and the children that are now here are being
programmed to be even worse then us," I STOP---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I am having this backchat within me as a form of a defense mechanism as to get back at the person that is saying to me that their children have turned out to be "good children," thus using what is in fact so, but just to get even with another in my mind, as if I am telling them in a way, that their children also did not turned out to be "good children" anyways, because the world is painting another picture that is real that is not in alignment and accordance to any children being "good children," nor anyone for that matter.
Thus within this, I commit myself to look at this defense mechanism I am using within my own mind in the form of a backchat to get back or even with people as a way to take
revenge on them, and instead of this making sure I become constructive within and as myself to look for solutions that when are implemented will have a result that would be best for all participants involved.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into being
angry at people telling me that everything is going to be alright, I STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I get angry at people that give me positive remarks and positive forms of consolidation, because within me I am aware that nothing in this reality happens by itself or in itself or by chance, it is all
consequential.
Therefore, I commit myself to work specifically on the emotional reaction of anger itself, because I am also aware that it is unnecessary and that i just have to look at the reality as it is in fact happening, without judging it, and within this to see if what I am looking at is what is best for all or not, and if it is not, I am
aware that I have to look for a solution that will bring about what is best for all here.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into letting a memory pass through where I see myself raising my voice to go above that of my children, I STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I am having this memory in regards to my children, because in my mind it means that they are not listening to me and that I have to look for ways through my voice to make them listen to me, and this is because of myself not liking people raising their voice at me, thus now finding myself like forced to do to others what I don't like happening to myself.
Thus within this, I commit myself to work on my own judgement and fear in regards to voice tonality and volume and how I have programmed myself to react to that in fear instead of looking at it in ways to can be a tool to help myself getting rid of my own fear and taking a stand within and as myself and direct myself here in a moment to do what is best for all.
When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into not
trusting myself that i can do something, I STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.
I realize that I am not trusting myself because of the fears of failing I have created within myself and hold on to as memories so I do not get into changing myself and directing myself.
Thus within this, I commit myself to get rid step by step of the fear of failing that I have created to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, and that I become effective in having
patience and endurance and that I just stick to the practical aspect of making something happen, till it happens and make sure to make sure to use the equality of equation of: " 1+1= 2 " as a measurement.
Self-Reward:
Within this writing I have come to see/realize and
understand that most of what I perceive as problems with my children being extreme naughty are solvable and that I have only some fear issues to take care of by myself in order to be effective in communicating with them, and that things will change for me and for them when I have taken out the fears that are existent within me in regards of me being able to help them helping themselves in regards to their behaviors.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
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are you serious, just look at the state of the world we live in, there is nothing "Good" about the state of the
world we
live in at all, and the children that are now here are being programmed
to be even worse than us," - See more at:
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/09/day-330-very-naughty-children.html#sthash.yqywpGcG.dpuf
are you serious, just look at the state of the world we live in, there is nothing "Good" about the state of the
world we
live in at all, and the children that are now here are being programmed
to be even worse than us," - See more at:
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/09/day-330-very-naughty-children.html#sthash.yqywpGcG.dpuf
are you serious, just look at the state of the world we live in, there is nothing "Good" about the state of the
world we
live in at all, and the children that are now here are being programmed
to be even worse than us," - See more at:
http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/09/day-330-very-naughty-children.html#sthash.yqywpGcG.dpuf
