Day 385, The Good Guy Thingy, PART 2

within this post I will be doing my self forgiveness statements in regards to and in relation to the previous blog. For context read the previous blog here.


                                                                                     

Self-forgiveness statements:             

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to represent myself as a good guy within and as my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that being a good guy has something to do do with real goodness in the physical reality, which is that which is best for all of life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use/abuse the good guy personality to get away with the fear that exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that by being a good guy character within and as the mind I am allowing fear as fear to exist within and as me and into the outside world as well, wherein I am abdicating my responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being not liked by other people, thus in fearing this, I give the good guy personality existence within me in order for me to NOT go into/through the consequences of having to deal with/confront/face that which is uncomfortable because it goes right in to/through my self-created self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to go through lots trouble if I was to be self-honest all the time, because I am aware that, in a world of dishonesty I will hated, will be feared, will be bullied, thus to avoid all of this occurring to me I choose to not stand as the principle of what is best for all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people wanting to get back at me, because of me being against their self-interest, which is not what is best for life, thus knowing that I will be attacked makes me choose my own self-interest using survival as a tactic to make sure I do not choose what is best for all life in every moment, but give in/give up disrespecting myself and thus all life to avoid going through/facing my self-created fear, fearing my won fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the fear of being persecuted because of me having to stand up for life, making me back down a little, taking it slow, just to give myself more time, when in reality I am aware that the time I have / i got is the moments of breath I have in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what might happen if I would be HERE in real time as the breath of life that I have been given, being equal and one with all that is here as this physical reality as this human physical body that I am here now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that to stand within and as the principles of life, automatically place me into a position/situation wherein I can be abused, I can hated upon, I can be bullied upon, which are all true, however, having to create fear in regards to these consequences is not what would be best for me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/nor understand that to accept fear within and as myself is equal and one as accepting fear within and as others as myself as other people in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see being a good guy as something of weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see being a good guy as something as weakness, because I am aware that this good guy personality allows others to walk over them a little or completely, which is a form of weakness, but is in actuality connected to the fear of being physically abused, physically mutilated, physically hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place the personality of  being a good guy to fall into the category of something that is positive, something that is good.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that, that which I allow myself to be as this personality/character in the mind, as a good guy, is an invention/creation of myself to make sure I do not challenge reality as I really see it as it exists here within and as this physical reality/physical realm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing reality as it is, because of certain circumstances/situations that can have an outcome that would not be best for me, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding, how I can come up with a way, a manner within which I can come up with a solution that will not have to put me immediately in a situation where I can  be physically hurt or abused.




Thanks,


Larry Manuela

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Day 218, Being Nice Part 2

Now i will continue where i left off, 2 days ago.

I will place here my last sentence for context:

I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into a slightest feeling or anger and rage to immediately STOP myself in that moment directly and take a deep breath and continue doing so till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and if necessary to hold on to something that is physically here so i don't loose myself within my mind as these emotions.

                                                                     

That was my self-commitment in regards to the dimension of fear, now i will continue and will walk the dimension of Thought.

Thought-Dimension:

** picture of myself becoming very angry and fighting 

** picture of myself getting beaten

** picture of my mother sitting sad in a chair after having heard that i died fighting

** picture staying only indoors, afraid to go out because i might get in trouble and become rage

** picture of myself becoming this good guy/nice guy

Self-forgiveness statements as solutions:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture as thought in my mind of me becoming very angry and fighting, wherein i win the fight in order for my survival, without seeing/realizing/understanding that for this to happen i MUST HARM that which is real, that which is the physical existence of which my body is made of and exists as, and also the other body i will be harming when in physical fights, putting myself in a position of an abuser of LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself within my mind where i am getting a beat down by another, giving me the possibilities that can be derived from what can happen also as in making sure that fear remain within me, and that i am fear. I realize that my mind is continuously feeding fear within me in order to have enough conflict/friction and in this then remain as fear within me. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let conflict/friction to exist within me as me as the mind as energy in order to create more and more energy within me so in this matter i remain in the grip of energy and never take my directive will to stand within and as this fear and drop it within myself completely, because it then cancled itself out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture within my mind where i see my mother being all sad sitting in a chair when she hears that i have died due to a fight i got myself in.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand in the past how close i was to really getting myself into trouble and harming not just myself but others as myself, whether it would be my family or other peoples family just because i within myself i let fear and rage rule my decision as stand for life within and as myself.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed msyelf to see/realize/understand that by not facing myself as in self-honestly looking at myself i could never see the real me that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as this anger/rage personality that have been sitting there in the blackwaters of my mind hiding waiting for the tune in order to rise again to have a final storm. By this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide this anger/rage personality without seeing/realizing/understanding that by hiding it, it doesn't mean that it is gone, but it is hiding to not be found.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let anger/rage as personalities to take refuge within me, holding on to that which is against LIFE within me as a means to whenever the time comes to use them to do so, without having an inkling of an idea whatsoever what it will affect as an outcome to all of life if i were to set myself to ignite into anger/rage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself playing the role of a good guy/nice guy for purposes of personality protection, without seeing/realizing/understanding that the personalities i was trying to protect and guard are the very personalities i don't want to act upon, thus keeping them alive by puting a fals face, making my life a reality showcase, a movie.

I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to let the anger/rage to live within me as my memories as my consciousness as my mind as a thief that is waiting for its moment to come out and steal the moment when i am off guard.

Self-commitment statements:

I commit myself to whenever i see myself having thoughts as pictures of anger/rage within me to just STOP  and take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure that in this process to touch something that is physically here, to remind myself that i am HERE and to not loose myself within my mind.

I commit myself to stop all fears within me little by little as they come up that can turn into anger/rage till i am free from my own energy creations within me, that i have accepted and allowed to be the whom i am in this world in this reality, never giving me the opportunity to be the whom i am as the human physical form that i truly am as the real BEING of planet EARTH.

I commit myself to let go of all the images that appear within my mind of what could have happened or what can happen and forgive myself to letting them exist within me, because by not writing them out i am keeping them alive within me as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to digg deep enough and push myself to find the missing pieces within myself that have lead to me creating myself as a personality that hides within me other personalities that i in reality don't want to see myself living or act upon in this world in this reality, because parts of me is aware that these are distructive to life, all of life, because i am super imposing harm to life as that which supports me as this human form and all of what is HERE as matter.

I commit myself to little by little STOP myself to not be a good guy/nice guy, but just be whom i am without having to put up a personality and instead just be what i am comfortable being, which is;  a quiet normal guy.

I commit myself to let work on the fear and to pay attention to this fear that is trying to protect these personalities so i can always be clear if i am in personality act or not and in so doing be able to direct myself into a living application within that moment to not let fear take over nor anger/rage till i am clear and stable within me, and till i one am without none.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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