Day 98, Boring character
When i look within myself i can see that this character has hold me down numerous times, because i tend within it to give up, which is again another character.
I look at the world and i see boring stuff, the system is boring, why...??
The music are the same.
When you go out you either are going to have some fun or not and depending at where in the system you are going to pay a visit as to have some fun as entertainment.
One goes to school and study to become later on a wage-slave.
One will do some sports,sleep,shit, put on some clothing that are told by other people that it is the latest fashion. There are certain specific foods one can eat, depending in which country one happens to be living, and there are certain places you can visit as in going to vacation, but of course all of these are depending on the money you have. if you don't have money none of these can happen.
To me everything looks the same, there are some things being created like in technology, but they are limited because they don't last that long, and are never really meant to satisfy one. So one keeps wanting more and more, and as one can see, this MORE is a BIG problem in this world. Because for MORE to come to self, self must consume, as it is very evident in the current system..!!!
So i look at my life and i see this:
* being brainwashed to speak from the mind by parents
* have a childhood full of beliefs that were thrown upon you
* going to school
* being a teenager
* being a grownup
* support the system in every way
* become old and rusty
* have your pension, this is IF you are in one of the so-called: ''rich countries''
* and then one DIES..!!! THE END...!!
One can die in and between all of these points, one-----as we all know doesn't necessarily have to grow old and then die. But this growing old and then dying is the common occurrence.
So is that not all we do HERE...??? I find that very very very boring. There is no LIFE in that...!! And the nerve that some people have to say that we are creative...?? WTF...!!! We may be creative in destroying ourselves, that is sure as it is a certainty..!! But we are NOT creative at all in LIVING here on planet earth as a humanity that cares for ALL LIFE....!!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system of complete boredom to exist when i am HERE, and within this allow everyone such boring existent.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let boredom exist within me as within my mind, because it is only in my mind that such thing can exist, in the physical reality creation is going on everywhere, meanwhile i live as a character in my mind far removed from reality as creation that is HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the way i and everyone else is living HERE as the only way we as humans can exist,as through a system of abuse that doesn't give a damn about life and hence we as i and everyone else lives by the way the system functions as we ourselves created it, as the whom we are.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character in my mind that will be the boredom character, for boredom have it's function in this system and that is to: '' do nothing..!!! ''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the boredom character to the giving up character, these 2 walk together hand in hand, the perfect twins. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create such character within my mind and then become them and live them out as if i am them, but the only thing i did was just superimpose some mind garbage as characters on my body, forcing my body to do what is NOT natural as what the body truly is as the REAL BEING of EARTH.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief myself to be characters and that i am these characters when i can delete them all in self-forgiveness and breathing, and self-forgiveness happens through the voice of the BEING that is REAL here, which is the BODY, the human form.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that i as the characters: ''boring character'' and ''giving up character'' are real, just because i ''experience'' them as if i am them, when in reality i have become them in and as my mind, as i allow myself to be/become them. So within this, i realize that if i can be/become them, then i am the creator of them, so if i can create them, i can also un-create them, and create instead myself to be/become a being that truly walks the earth doing what is BEST for ALL LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never question my characters in my mind before, because in my own mind i have allowed these characters to be the ''who i am'' within this world, without seeing/realizing/understanding that for all these characters to exist they need to have a host, and who is the host..?? The BODY as the REAL BEING of EARTH. So within this i realize that all my characters in my mind can NEVER, EVER be experienced as REAL if there was no REAL part involved in it all,so if my body was NOT here as the REAL part, no characters in a mind would have ever existed, together with the MIND also, because the mind cannot exist without the BODY, but the BODY CAN exist without the mind, because the body is of/and as the substance of LIFE, real life manifest as form.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief, beliefs of other characters that are being played out in this world as if they ''know'' about LIVING, when in reality they are just characters playing out an illusion as a program in the mind, that interprets what LIVING should be according to what is programmed in it to exist as what is to be defined of as what LIVING is. within this i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when i am busy playing out characters in my mind, my body is busy with creation in the HERE moments of every breath, so herein i as the being in the mind is being left out of creation, and left out of really LIVING. All i do is abusing the being as is my body, to comply to the program within and as my mind,and within this i enslave me the being in the mind and also my body to do the bidding of the mind with me the being in it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never questioned the one that is thinking thoughts and feeling feelings, for i have always regard these as the whom i am. I realize that the moment i am one and equal with and as my breath all thinking and feeling stops, and yet i am still here, so this is the greatest proof for myself that my thoughts and feelings are NOT whom i really am, for the whom i a`m MUST be LIFE, because i am still here when the thoughts and feelings STOP.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be a boring character that does NOT give a damn about life, because that is what boring characters do; 'not caring for life'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself go into this boring character when i know in each breath i can STOP this boring character to exist within me forever. I realize that in breath i delete all characters for in breath the character cannot find energy, so it will eventually die, and every time some left overs try to come up in the form as memories, i delete them in my breath together with self-forgiveness.
I commit myself to show that with diligent application i will STOP all characters in my mind and be/become one and equal as the REAL BEING of EARTH, which is my HUMAN PHYSICAL BODY.
I commit myself to every time i see myself going into character mode, or about to go in character mode, to STOP--------Breathe and forgive myself for i have accepted and allowed myself to be that particular character and make sure i am touching something that is here physically so i don't loose myself in my mind,the place where illusions exist.
I commit myself to show through my writings and self-forgiveness that the only way one can get out of character creation is through breath and self-forgiveness in self-honesty.
I commit myself to show that without characters life is much better then with characters, for they are NOT real anyways.
I commit myself to step by step and with patience to delete all the characters i have created within my mind, because i know that it takes time and dedication,just at it took time and dedication to create them in the first place, it didn't happen in one moment,it took many moments and many many breaths.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
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