Day 237, Contemplating for Contemplation Sake or Not? Part 3

Now continuing to the next dimension.

In this post i will take on the Imagination Dimension.

Now, before i start on this journey of working out this dimension, i leave a little bit of what i wrote in the previous post here:


Self-Reward:



I see within this writing that i am trying to protect my Self-interest in the form of/as '' my upbringing/my culture'' in order to NOT have to face what these '' my upbringing/ my culture'' have as consequences within my own LIFE and also LIFE of others that i will interact with or communicate with. Therefore now that i can see this, i can gift myself the gift to pay attention to my words and to look at what reaction comes up within me where there is an indication that i might be proptecting these believes/concepts within myself to then immediately stop participating in them and IF they do NOT stop, i will make sure i continue digging to find the core of this fear, till i root it out completely within and as myself.




Problem:


Imagination-Dimension:


*** imagining myself using her stuff in my own way, but then her not liking me using it in my own way, because it interferes with her own way of using her own stuff.

*** imagining leaving her stuff behind like she wouldn't like it, and then have to hear from her that she doesn't like it the way i left it behind


*** imagining going into her fridge to get something to eat, but not knowing what to eat, because maybe the thing i want to eat and if there is enough of it is just for one person, thus i can't eat it, it is hers, and if i eat it, i then ate what she liked, and then i will feel bad about myself that i have eaten the last piece of what she liked.


*** imagining using the wrong cooking pan to cook something with, because she maybe/possibly use it for cooking but only cooks certain/specific foods with it, and NOT what i may be intending to cook with it.





Solutions:




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagining myself using her stuff in my own way which in turn will interfere with her own way of using her own stuff, which within myself i see as a point ofconflict/friction, thus i avoid using her stuff and just wait at specific times or oportunities to make sure that when i use her stuff it will be in the ''right'' way, thus the way that she might approve it is the ''right'' way to use her own stuff.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place my own judgement on what she will like or not like instead of focusing on, if what i will do will be BEST for me and for her when in this specific point of using her stuff.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself give in, into my fear of maybe/possibly getting into conflict/friction IF i am to use her stuff in a way that she will NOT approve.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear Conflict/Friction and due to this fear avoid possible scenario's where Conflict/Friction can derive from it, and just play it safe.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play it safe to avoid Conflict/friction, when in this case these Conflict/Frictions if they were to appear will only show me the whom i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become that is NOT the being that roam the earth as this Human Physical Form/Body, but just an entity of my own making in my mind.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself leaving her stuff behind like she wouldn't like it and then have to hear from her that she didn't like it, like i left it behind, confirming in this way that i fear being found faulty, or fear having to NOT do something right as in being incapacitated.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the fears of '' being found faulty/NOT being able to do something right/being incapacitated,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy and that then controls my own decision making in how to move and act in a moment, wherein i will choose to better NOT to take action.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link ''taking action'' to the fears of: '' being found faulty/NOT being able to do something right/being incapacitated,'' to take hold of me and thus influence my decision making in a moment to move myself and take action.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself going into her fridge to get something to eat, but not knowing what to eat, because maybe the thing i want to eat and if there is enough of it is just for one person, thus i can't eat it, it is hers, and if i eat it, i then ate what she liked, and then i will feel bad about myself that i have eaten the last piece of what she liked.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this imagination of eating what i think/belief might be her last piece of whatever that she have left, just because i have the ''what if?'' attached to it, and this is: '' what if it is the last piece of food that she can buy for this week, or what if she doesn't have more money for food for the rest of the week to come and i eat this last piece?


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to due to my own Self-judgement within myself have made me make the decision to better NOT go there, because i might interfere with her survival, in this case the food she buy for herself to eat.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this imagination( myself going into her fridge to get something to eat, but not knowing what to eat, because maybe the thing i want to eat and if there is enough of it is just for one person, thus i can't eat it, it is hers, and if i eat it, i then ate what she liked, and then i will feel bad about myself that i have eaten the last piece of what she liked,) existing within me when i in reality did not even went into her fridge at all.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to avoid going into her fridge just because i have accepted and allowed a belief system related to ''my upbringing/my culture'' to stand in the way, where i only see all the ''negative outcomes'' that can derive from such involvement or such action.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my superimposed belief system as ''my upbringing/my culture,'' to avoid ''the negative'' at all times and look only for '' the positive'' at all times, because of the acceptances and allowances that ''the positive'' will lead to ''good deeds.''


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine using the wrong cooking pan to cook something with, because of what i think/belief that she might be using it for cooking, but cooking for only certain/specific foods only, and NOT what i may be intent to cook with it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this comparisson within my mind existing of her using her cooking pan for only certain/specific food, because i have been through that myself where people will use some of their cooking pans they have for only to cook certain/specific foods and do NOT like it at all IF someone were to cook what is NOT to be cooked within this pan that they have decided that they are going to cook only certain/specific foods with.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to based my whole reality in a moment of living HERE to a memory within and as my mind, that is only focused on a ''negative outcome.'' 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even rely on my memories instead of me BEING HERE within and as my Breath and my Human Physical Body/Form as one as equal as LIFE.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that to live according to memories within me, is me living according to the past and not Living as LIFE HERE.


I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to trade in LIFE HERE, for memories within and as my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put value within and as my mind as the possible outcomes that i see within my mind as the memories of ''possible negative outcomes'' that exist within me as me as the mind as energy and choose them instead of Living HERE within and as my Breath and my Human Physical Body/Form.



Self-commitment statements:



I realize that i avoid using her stuff and just wait at specific times or oportunities to make sure that when i use her stuff it will be in the ''right'' way, thus the way that she might approve it is the ''right'' way to use her own stuff, thus within this i Commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into attempting to use her stuff, because of my own self-created believes within and as myself as my mind CONsciousness system, I STOP--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i Remain HERE within and as my breath focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then out of this clarity and stability i move or take action and IF it is something i just don't know how to use it or if it is o.k. to use it, i just ask her.


I realize that i focus on what she might like or not like instead of me being HERE focusing on me being HERE and doing what will be BEST for me and and then also for, because eventually it is her stuff that i am about to use, thus within this i commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into focusing what she might or might not like about using her stuff, I STOP------------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing and remind myself that this what i am participating in, is just a mind-fuck, that it is NOT what is HERE, and thus i do NOT participate in what is NOT HERE as physically manifested as being REAL, and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then from this clarity and stability i then move or take action that will be coming from me being HERE within and as my Breath and my Human physical Body/Form, one and equal.


I realize that i play it safe where i see that a possibility for Conflict/Friction scenario can derive out of it from the point of view of my Mind CONsciousness System in relation to what i have accepted and allowed to be there as Memories within and as it, therefore I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into using my memories to play it safe within a moment to avoid Conflict/friction based on what i see/perceive/view/interpret within and as my Mind CONsciousness System, I immediately STOP,------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable from any energy movemen within me, and then from this clarity and stability of NO energy movement i move/walk/take action as me just being HERE within and as my Human Physical Body/Form.


I realize that i have created an Entity within myself that i accepted and allowed to make decisions on my behalf in accordance to what this Entity interpret as what could be Conflict/Friction IF i were to engage within the action/movement related to past memories of what went Wrong/bad in similar scenarios, thus within this I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into comparissons within my Mind CONsciousness System with the memories placed there, I STOP--------------------- take a deep breath and make sure i focus on my breathing and do NOT let myself get carried away within and as my Mind CONsciousness System with its memories and make sure that my attention is focused on my breathing and my Human Physical Body/Form and to make sure i hold my hands together to remind me that i am HERE and then when i am clear and stable and can then move and take action(s) out of this clarity and stability.


I realize that based on my reasoning and findings within myself as my Mind CONsciousness System as the Memories that exists within it as me as energy, i make decisions, thus I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into making decisions based on what is existent within me as memories, I STOP--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as Energy and then from this point of clarity and stability i make my decision that will be a decision based on my Self-Will and my Self-directiveness.



I realize that based on my own Self-judgement i avoid doing something, in this case avoiding going in her fridge, to choose what i can eat, just because i think/belief that what i might want to eat and IF i find that only very little is left and i eat it, then i ate her very last piece and that to me is NOT a good thing to do, so within this I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into avoidance of doing something or taking an action in this case in regards to her food that she have brought for herself, i just Ask her if it is o.k. or not, and that is it, instead of letting myself being a slave of my own memories of apparent Conflict/Friction that can maybe/possibly come into being, thus i make sure that i do NOT participate and give attention IF these imaginations were to pop-up within me and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then out of this clarity and stability i move/walk/take action and do What will be BEST in that particular moment or instant.


I realize that due to my acceptance and allowance of ''my upbringing/my culture,'' i only see the outcomes within my mind as what can go wrong, and thus making the same choice over and over always to make sure that what i interpret within my mind as a ''negative outcome,'' is always to be avoided, for i DO NOT want/wish an ''negative outcome.'' Thus within this, I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into making decisions link to ''my upbringing/my culture,'' to immediately STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE within and as my Breath and my Human Physical Body/Form, and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and then out of this clarity and stability I move and take action and make a decision, that will be BEST, and to make sure that the decision i make is really what is BEST, i ask her what is her perspective on the decision, because i can make a decision, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it will also be what is BEST for her too, and IF it is NOT the BEST the decision, then we can workout an agreement on what will be BEST for both of us in regards to this particular point.


I realize that due to my accepted and allowed superimposed belief system imprinted within me, I tend to look only at things within my LIFE that can lead to an Positive Outcome, according to what my Mind CONsciousness System interpret/see/view as ''Positive,'' because in my Mind CONsciousness System that which is ''Positive'' can lead to that which is ''good deeds.'' Thus within this I commit myself to when and as in see myself going into or i am about to go into having interpretations/views/what i see according to my Mind CONsciousness System, I STOP------------------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing and don't let myself be fooled by placing my attention to/towards what is within my Mind CONsciousness System as Memories, as the Past, and a Past that is a LIE too, because with all the Positive in this world, still the Negative is HERE and is the MOST obvious and the one that is the reason why the other is being seeked and believed, thus i keep on focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this clarity and stability I move and take action devoid of energy fluctuations within myself as myself as the mind as energy.


I realize that i let my decision making be influenced by a simple thing like: '' what to cook in a cooking pan,'' just because of what i have as memories within me, either from my own or of what i have seen, that turned out to have an Negative outcome. Thus within this I commit myself to when and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into letting myself be controlled by my own memories with its ''Negative outcome,'' I just STOP my participation in it and make sure i take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and then from this clarity and stability, i then move and take action, devoided/absent of/from past memories full of Negative outcomes.



Self-Reward:


Within this blog i have seen/realized/understood that i am using my imagination linked to memories that are functioning as protection of ''my upbringing/my culture'' and thus i make sure that i do NOT make choices that will compromise this Belief-System within and as myself. Thus hereby now that i see what i accept and allow within and as myself i am now able to STOP my participation when similar situation will come up again, so i can then gift myself the gift to stop myself in participating and correct myself in that moment, instead of trying to keep on holding on to a Superimposed BeLIEf-System that have nothing to do with Reality at all.





Thanks.



Larry Manuela

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Day 109, Everything Is Haram.

At work we have a Muslim man, that always say to people, what you are doing is Haram man. I call him Mr. Haram.

 

 

And i make jokes with him, and say to him, working is also suppose to be Haram, because you are slave. Haram is a term Muslims use for things that are unrein and forbidden according to the rules set forth in their religion.

So when i have look within this system, almost everything is Haram because most things do not support LIFE, so from the perspective of supporting LIFE equally, most things in the system and the system itself IS Haram so to speak.

Having money in ones pocket is Haram. But do our Muslim brothers and sisters see these as Haram..??  Of course Not..!!

Now i am using the word Haram here, but Haram is just a word used in the Muslim community as i already said for things that are seen as unrein and forbidden. But what is forbidden and unrein is what some people have decided in the past and now people live by these rules. 

I am not talking about forbidding things and such. What i am talking about is we as humanity becoming really responsible beings and see for ourselves what is acceptable or NOT acceptable, within the context of what is BEST for ALL LIFE. Placing ourselves in someone else shoes or some other beings life and see if we would have loved for example being killed for consumption in brutal ways or ways that are really really painful.

So looking from the perspective of LIFE support, we can use the word: '' Haram ''  and not as forbidding or unrein but as UNACCEPTABLE,and not because is bad or wrong or negative, but simply because it does NOT support LIFE equal.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted  and allowed myself to let a world exist where words like ''haram'' are needed to forbid people to do certain things and to keep people from eating certain things.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where people living right now in this world cannot see what is here and look for some answers in the past, when clearly what is here today is the outflow of consequences of what was in the past.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that we as humanity are thinking/believing that we are a superior life-form then all the other life-forms, when in reality when i look very closely i see we as humanity being the weakest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in world where laws/rules/regulations are necessary, because we are all one by one very irresponsible beings, so irresponsible that it even shows in the very laws/rules/regulations we come up with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have things like religion to  exist within this world that don't support LIFE at all in anyways whatsoever.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a world exist where we judge each other and interpret things in life based on what we belief someone said in the past as if this someone in the past was more capable of understanding life, when in reality the world itself as it exist right now with all the people in it that are the generations after the so-called smart ones in the past, one can still see that we do not in anyways whatsoever understand the LIVING and what it is all about, at all..!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that some old knowledge and wise word from someone in the past is necessary for me to live now, right HERE in this moment. I realize that one thing is certain that whatever happened in the past is seen by the way we live with each other and that whatever was taught in the past, was either not understood, and that is IF it was supportive to LIFE and/or what was delivered through words were NOT solutions that will benefit all LIFE equal, and besides these, one thing that is very clear, is that the people in the past KNEW nothing of what it MEANS to LIVE and what LIFE truly is in FACT, otherwise we will be all right living the understanding that they had.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a BELIEF is necessary in LIFE in order to LIVE LIFE, when this is clearly in common sense totally unnecessary and very much in separation with living LIFE, thus if we are NOT living LIFE, what are we doing then...?? We are followers of our minds, and herein we call this living, when in reality it is enslavement.

I commit myself to show that beliefs are just beliefs and are not factual living, as in the real act of LIVING. It is a lifestyle based upon what one think/perceive/interpret within ones mind about what is HERE.

I commit myself to make sure that we all understand what is to be acceptable in this world, for what is to be acceptable is always that which support all LIFE equally.

I commit myself to show that religion with it's rules are nothing but memories of knowledge of people in the past that also did not know  what to do exactly in the face of the problems that were here, and the rules as they understood it, was there only believed solution at the time,when in reality it was NOT a solution at all, because all of LIFE was NOT taken at all into consideration, because everything was just looked at from the human perspective in relation to it's survival within this world.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 41, What Was Sexy To Me.

Within this blog i am going to do self-forgiveness on what i used to find sexy and also for what i still see as sexy.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman sexy by the way they talk if they have a ''normal'' woman voice.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find any woman with a ''beautiful'' slim well shaped body sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find a woman who is smart sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find a woman who is very open minded very sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see sexy woman as the ones i would like to be with, because it means to me that i will be getting more sex from them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman with a long curly hair sexier then others without.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman with a long firm smooth legs to be sexy looking, and these are the most beautiful part of a woman body that i like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that only with a woman that i find sexy enough would i be able to have a fruitful relationship.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that only  with a sexy lady i can have a more hot relationship with a lot of sex.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see only the word sex in sex(y) and the ''y'' is not even of importance, it is more like a question why the ''y'' when we already have what we need which is SEX.
 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed by the media and magazines and the movies to mold me into what i would see as a woman who is sexy or not sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for sex only in a woman that i find sexy, which is at the same time my attraction.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how i was deceiving myself into believing that a sexy lady is all i need for a good sex life, when it was not necessarily so in fact, some sexy ladies are not very sexual as the image they are portraying when it comes to the real physical thing, within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by an image, and not by truly getting to know someone for real but went straight for the image, the representation which of course suited my ideal picture in my mind, that i programmed myself with through the media/t.v./movies/magazines.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman wearing a tight jeans sexy especially if they have nice legs, because the shape of the legs are visible.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman in jogging gear looking sexy, because it gives me the impression that they are ready to get loose, they are loosy woman, woman who love sex, but try to hide it, without knowing and realizing that we can see through any clothing what we would like to get our hands on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see white woman as the ultimate representation of what sexy means to me, and within this i have realized that from my early childhood it was already programmed within me, that i will favor white woman, and the first white woman that really made a huge impact on my life was the lady that played the lead personality in the movie flashdance, i was 11 at that time, that was the moment when  the imprint occurred.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by a personality in a movie that had an major impact on my decision making in my whole life concerning sexiness of woman, based on what i saw that i liked about this personality in this movie.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that by following an image in my mind that i allow to exist will make me treat woman in real life as images and not as real people, real physical human beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to disrespect the physical as life, in treating it as an image and abusing it, because i was lost in my imaginary world of images and images are not real, and within this by being aware of it and try to superimpose this image on the physical where the image and the real thing are no match, and within makes me an abuser, because i am abusing what is real for a image.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application to expose the real nature of how sexiness is being used in this world to delude people and to hurt the physical in many many ways.

I commit myself to look and treat woman as equals as me and not as body parts i find sexy according to an image i have created in the past.

I commit myself to educate myself some more and in this look for practical solutions that will suit each best and bring about a world where woman are not seen and treated as sex-symbols but as equals.

I commit myself  to show to all that cannot see how being sexy in this world is busy deluding people and make them slaves to themselves and at the world at large, enslaving themselves and everyone and everything else.


Thanks.

Larry Manuela


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