Day 382, day 3 on SF on Aloneness

                                                                        DAY 3 SF on ALONENESS

                                                                            

So with this which is not a real THIRD day for me, however more like a third moment as I have chosen this moment in time to do this writing about myself.

I have written 2 days of SF on Aloneness already, and when I have a look at it, I am aware that I can go deeper than that, and not for the purpose to just be able go deeper, however for the purpose to really face the dark waters that are hidden within and as myself, that keep on disturbing, obstructing me, for me to not change  for real.

So, why am I experiencing myself alone?

Now the real answer is very simple, however yet, it needs to be worked out.

The answer is, because I am not really facing the real points that I am aware I need to face in order for me to really change into and live as a human being that lives “ what would be best for all life, oneness and equality,” which is a principle living. It’s like I am postponing facing myself. Like I do not want to really change yet, let me be system Larry a little bit more longer and then one day, I will take on myself for real.

So, what am I really waiting for? It does not make any sense, I am aware. Why do I want to postpone hiding my dark side, the real nitty gritty about me, what goes on within me and about me that I am aware I am doing or not doing.

Btw, this writing is inspired by the interview I’ve just listen to called:  “ Dark- Self: true nature of Self, by the Atlanteans through the portal at the EQAFE website store.
Here is the link if one wants to have a listen to it: https://eqafe.com/p/dark-self-true-nature-of-self-atlanteans-part-440

So let me list them all for myself here, to put it all into context and perspective  and exposure as I should have done and should be doing,  not only today but also constantly till there is no more LIVING with hidden stuff in my life.

1  1)      SEX. I am someone at the moment,  that will literally and I am being brutally honest with myself here, that would have sex with anyone that is a woman or really look like a woman, and by this I mean transsexuals or transgenders, however they must really look like a woman, because I am not attracted sexually to a man physique. I am not attracted to gay man. And there is more, I am having sex with two women, they both know I am having sex with them. One of them is a Polyamorous kind of person and the other one is someone that loves sex as much as I do. Now even with having two women to have real physical sex with I find myself when I am not with them sneaking watching some porn now and then anyways, it is like I have to have an orgasm, either with them, with porn or sometimes even without porn or just finding other women on the internet that are horny and engage into sex talks to get each other horny and go as far as exchanging sexual pictures or little sexual tainted films of ourselves with one another.

       2) Work. The work I do is not something I would love to do for the rest of my life, it is the kind of work that I just do it as best as I can, because I have to take care of myself within this system, however the continuous pressure to work faster and faster and producing more and more is not my thing, I am a guy that want to do my work properly with as less as possible stress of competing with other companies etc.

       3) My process.  In regards to my process, thus that which I am aware I have to do to change myself into a human being that lives “ oneness and equality, that which is best for all life,” this includes blogging and vlogging  and my DIP course, investigating all systems in this world,  I am legging behind with them and why? Because all of these are the points that force me to face myself and by “ force me” I do not mean that I am experiencing these points forcing me, however more like a push, a point of facing myself, thus I avoid them as much as possible so I do not have to change for real.

       4)  My son. I hear of my son now and then, I would like to be hearing from him more, not because I miss him or anything, however because I am responsible for him as I am responsible for myself and everything and everyone else. There are some points that I see are just excuses I use, because I can change them, but keep on waiting to make a move. For example, he does not have his own phone, and I have to call the mother first, and the mother works and I have to deal with the time difference and also with my working shifts, which means it makes communication very poor, however I can at least make some arrangements to change all of this so it can have an outcome that is best for all. So here for example I see that I always had the pattern of waiting too long to do something or to move, take action, I always let things accumulate till it becomes a problem or bigger problem.

       5)  Debts. I have a few system debts, some I was responsible for making them, however some I was not and I am in the process of dealing with them all, meaning taking organizations or companies to legal court lawsuits, which drains me financially, however I have to do it.

  6)     I am a nice guy. This is how people that know me will define me, however I do not want to be a “ nice guy” I want to be a real guy, someone that lives: “ giving a fuck about life.” This means that I sometimes let people push me around or walk over me a little, but all very calculated, I have always been this very calculated person ( another point here to face.) I calculate shit in very little detail about what could happen or not happen, I used to be a great deceiver, and patterns of the “ greatness” are still here. This “ greatness” is actually weakness, weakness into making sure I avoid as much as possible consequences that can harm me or make people not like me. I have found like a middle ground so to speak throughout my life in order to deal with these points, so I let people sometimes walk over me just enough in order to keep on being looked at as “ the good guy.” However as I said already I am aware that “ good guys” can never be “real guys”  because real guys give a damn about ALL life and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

O.k. So that is my dark self as far as I can see, now in the next blog I will be going into the specifics as I do Sf on all of them as to HOW I really do them. As they are written down here now they are just empty sentences, not yet faced, exposure though, but not faced yet through self-forgiveness.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 381, SF on Aloneness day 2.

                                          Day 2: SF on ALONENESS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the outside world, the people in the world for not wanting to take a stand and stance against the abuse that is going on in this world, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am blaming the outside world, the people in the world, because within me I am also silently blaming myself for not taking a stand and a stance as living human being that is here and that does not take abuse in any form done to all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that in order for me to take a stand and a stance against any abuse done to life, I must first take a stand and a stance within myself, stopping my own creations of abuse within and as myself as the personalities/characters I exert via/through my human physical body, forcing my human physical body to do the bidding of the personalities/characters that I have created within and as myself to represent energetic me’s, that are heavily in great need of continuous/constant energy to exist within the body of life as my human physical body as if they are the real body of life that is here as my human physical form, believing that the personalities are something of value to life and not my body/form, expression of life here itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the personality/character of aloneness in my mind to divert my attention in such a way that it comes back  to itself when I sometimes is about to take a stance or stand within myself or to converge attention to itself when I do not take a stand and stance within myself, always leading and attracting me to itself first for decision making as I have programmed it to be/become as a representation of myself within my mind consciousness system to make sure I do not actually change myself in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that the diversion I talk about are points within the outside world that I use to ignite the personality/character of aloneness within and as me, when I see that I am going to take a stand and a stance within and as myself as the points I see outside of me are not common-sensically speaking, what would be best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the words used within the system as: ’ money, rich people, famous people, smart/intelligent/intellectual people, religious people, price, status, poor people, elite, politicians, spirituality, New- Age, philosophy, law, rules, regulations, debt, debt-collectors, taxes, war, hunger, work, love, loved ones, ’  to be the words that will divert my attention to the personality/character of aloneness within and as me, as tentacles of this very personality/character within and as my mind consciousness system because I have judged all these words and their applications within this world as being words that support abuse done to life in this world, thus words that according to my judgments do not in fact for real contribute to what real caring would be in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the words used within the system as: ‘ mystery, sex, secrets, happiness, wonderful, playful, horniness, lust,’ to be the words that will convert my attention to the personality/character of aloneness within and as me, as positive charged energy within me to feed this personality/character in order for me to again not change myself here in fact.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

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Day 380, a new beginning in the middle of continuation. Aloneness day:1

Within this post I will be working a point I have been stuck with for a very long time, however now have decided that I really have to pick myself up and do what needs to be done.





                                                                       

 

SF on aloneness

Day 1:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the outside world, the humans in this world as people that do not really care about what is going on in this world, thus accepting and allowing myself to create within myself an emotion of me being all alone as someone that is caring, without seeing/realizing and understanding that this “ caring “ is just a word I use within and as my mind to exactly support the very personality/character I have created to judge the outside world with, the people in the world that I judge as not caring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a separation within my mind between me and the outside world, the people in the world, in order to have a point of ME against THEM to exist within me as me and as my mind as myself as self here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the outside world, people in the world as “ not caring,” because within myself I also judge myself as not caring, because I do not see that I am being effective enough to bring about a world that would best for everyone and everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my process of becoming one and equal with life here, birthing myself here in the physical as life as something that is a burden and that looks like I am not doing anything in the outside world that would really matter to change the world in fact, without seeing/realizing and understanding that the outside world, as the people in the world I judge as not caring is actually an accumulation of each individual as is myself not being responsible human beings in this world, to and towards life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the emotion of sadness to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, in order for me as the personality of aloneness to keep on existing within me as me as the mind, because I create within myself a reason now through sadness to stagnate myself, to not move, that I do not need to actually change because change as what is best for all does not exist anyways, thus just keep on being alone and experiencing emotions of sadness about experiencing myself as alone in the mind is a fine prerequisite to not change in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear real change, because I have no idea what I will be and become as an actual real human living, expressing what is best for all in the face of what is not best for all as is the status quo in the world at the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being brutalized, abused and tramped down, annihilated, humiliated, abandoned in this world, by the people of this world if I would to actually change and become a living expressing human being that gives a damn about life, because the world as it exist now is a world where life has no meaning, no value other than to abuse life as living forms as slaves to accumulate money and execute control over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let all these “ what if’s” to have dominion over my process of changing me as a human being that actually lives care, lives what is best for all life in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through accepting and allowing fear of changing me, because of judging myself as to what could happen if I would change to me, to interfere with my process of actually living, changing me as what would be best for all life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that through the creation of the personality/character of aloneness within and as me, I am in fact busy not actually moving and thus, creating myself within the physical as someone that does not care, because in the physical care means giving, real practical/physical giving and I am not giving care to myself, thus not giving care to the world either.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give myself responsibility and thus always fall in my own mind trap of being irresponsible and not walking my process of change as I am aware I should.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use aloneness within as myself to trap myself into not moving, not changing in order to create friction and thus energy to support my own mind personalities/characters that are existing only by my permission to be against myself for not allowing myself to be responsible, for not allowing myself to live self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself in assessing within myself what is going on, because I am aware of myself that when I do so I have to stop this personality I have created within and as myself to disturb and hinder my own change, to procrastinate myself, keeping on postponing my own change.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand as to what extent I have accepted and allowed myself to, through the personality/character of “ aloneness” exclude myself from not involving myself with my own self creation as a human being that stop abuse within and as himself and give care to himself and thus through giving care to myself, being able to actually live care as who I am in the world.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

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Day 379, Why Am I stressing and hurrying?

At work there is lots of pressure to increase productivity. Everything has to go faster and faster, because Up-Time is very important. However the human factor, thus the human physical work and mental stress is not very much well balanced, it is the last thing on the list to be looked at and to be changed, because productivity matters more. The bulk or volume of products produced is a prerequisite. Why? Because the more is sold, the more money the factory make, which is one of the reasons given that one must work faster and faster, because that is where our salaries are coming from. However it is true that when the company makes money it can keep on existing and thus us continuing getting paid a salary. This is partially true, why? Because if we had a system or a factory that; when they make more money, they immediately also incorporate a raise in one's salary this going faster and faster would have made a little sense. However this of course is not the case, one works faster and faster, but the salary stays the same. To make a comparison, imagine if one was used to jog 10 Miles and then suddenly one must start sprinting 20 Miles without going back to jogging and when finished one gets 3 drops of water as one was getting after jogging 10 Miles.....lol Understand  that raising the salary is also not a prerequisite to make it o.k. now to continue with the abuse.

I see sometimes if I am not here in breath I get stressed when I see that I am not going to make all the tests that are required to be done and also are required to be transfer into/on the computer, because of everything else that is going on around and with the machine that has precedence.

Of the 5 days of work in a week, most of the times I actually only manage to finish all the tests, depending on which specific product I am producing on the machine 3 days. Of which  I haven't done 4 times all the tests that are required to be done in 1 day. One may think/believe that 3 out of 5 is not bad, however in this case it should be 5 out of 5 always.

Now to bring into context the title of this blog: " why am I stressing and hurrying?" I see within and as myself that this happens primarily because of the fear that exists within me of not being able to finish all these tests and also the hurrying part got to do with making sure I produce a higher volume of product during the shift.

The point to consider about myself within all this is that even though on a physical level pace I have to move fast, meaning; my body can cope with the fastness of the work, however the mind is another story, which is sometimes full of judgement about the work and about myself doing the work, which at the end of the day can have as consequence, namely;' fatique.'

Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my workplace as being something that is stressful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my workplace as a place where stressful people work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like it being in the middle of stressful people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself catching myself also being stressful, because I am aware then that I have forgotten to breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see stressful in others as something I judge as stressful, because it bothers me that I see/realize it within myself also.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself when I get into stressful mode of action myself, because I judge myself as participating in the same thing I deem not acceptable myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be caught up in allowing anger to exist within me as I see others expressing stress within and as my work environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I am accepting and allowing stress to take over me when working and try to find ways to blame on the amount of work that has to be done, even when deep down I am aware that no matter how many things I have to do physically to get the work done, the stress part is my own creation, I do not need stress in order to function as I have proven to myself many times when I focus within and as my breath and just be here doing what I need to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry about my work because deep down I do not agree with the system I and humanity as a whole accept and allow to exist, where we slave ourselves away, creating a system of lack, creating a system of debt, creating a system of taking from others and be perfectly o.k. with it and even happy about it when we receive our salaries at the end of the month, instead of me seeing the job I have now just as something to support myself meanwhile I am working to and towards solutions to what would be best for me and everyone and everything else on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to most of the times before I go to work sit and contemplate if I should go or not, because I make myself feel like I do not want to participate into doing something that I am aware is busy destroying my own existence and that of others, making my life and that of others more challenging when it is unnecessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ponder how I can turn the specific job I am doing and make of it something that would be best for myself and others as myself, and see no way of how what I am doing now can support what is best for me and for everyone, because it is not the kind of job where one reaches lots of people with what one is doing on a personal level, it is a job that is more focused on the individual and what the individual specifically do at the job to accumulate more money for the company, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that with the money I make doing this job I can support myself and others as myself and with that keep on searching and doing what would be a best solution for myself and everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at people within myself when I see them being happy about doing their jobs and talking about all the wonderful things they want to do with their money they get from their job and how they are saving money to do this or that, just because I know that in this system of money as it exists right now, money is not enough and is being taken from others for the one to have, thus seeing this as very abusive and thus cannot accept myself being happy about getting money knowing all this, or seeing others being happy with their money knowing how money is being created in this world, instead of focusing on solutions that will propel all of us into a world that is best for everyone where no-one will be lacking or going without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at people when I hear them talk about job positions in relation to be able to have a bigger salary/more money, because I am aware that this individual without even knowing it is willing and wanting to take even more from others as him/herself to only satisfy his/her self-interest and it even makes me more angry when I step in and explain how the system works and everyone goes quiet and then after a few moments of letting what I said sink, changing the subject to something else instead of really looking into it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the people I talk to when they go quiet about what I say as maybe, they are feeling ashamed, or maybe they are looking for ways to not agree with me in their minds, or maybe looking at me as someone that is negative, because everything that is real will be seen as a negative if one really look into it, when in reality it is a matter of what is happening being acceptable or unacceptable in relation to what is best for all life or not.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it very irritable to be around people that talk about wanting to have more money so they can enjoy themselves and live large, just because I am aware how money is being created in this world and I do not agree with the way money is being created and also do not agree that we just accept and allow it without even trying to change it, treating it as if it is something one cannot change, when I am aware that this is not so.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel very irritable when people say the words: " yeah, but there is nothing you can do to change it," because I am aware that, exactly that is one of the reasons given or lived in order for the system to not be changed, because we are all telling ourselves that it is impossible to change it, thus let us continue with the abuse till the end, because this is what it is always going to be, so do not bother try and change it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see within myself to sometimes also have the backchat popping up where I tell myself, " oh this is going nowhere," meaning " " I better just give the F*** up, because world change is about humanity changing, thus if I change and humanity as whole do not change, won't mean a thing, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that exactly by changing me I can then live the example, showing how to live the change we all want to see in our reality, looking at people whom were just 1 person and how they have shaped the world we live in either in a good way or bad way, however that they did show that even 1 can reach many and influence the many, thus I cannot give up on myself to change myself, by thinking and believing that my change is a waste of my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see changing of myself as a waste of my time, when within the same breath I also see how disrespectful this is to/towards LIFE, that which unconditionally support me in every breath without never ever judging me in any ways whatsoever, even in moments when I am totally not HERE at all within and as this LIFE, even when I am totally separated with it through my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as maybe not being worthy of standing as life by accepting and allowing of myself applications and perspectives that does not resemble someone that is standing for what would be best for all life.



Will continue in the next blog......................



Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Study this  proposal which is:  LIG

Day 378, A Realization About LIFE.

I was watching a video on YouTube this morning and I saw a few people doing prayer. They were giving thanks to their chosen God.

And I started to look into how we give thanks to a God, which is a beLIEve and how we never give thanks to LIFE itself. This made me question within myself why is that I never in the past thanked LIFE itself?

I realized that I NEVER SAW LIFE ITSELF AS BEING ALIVE, Thus that life itself IS alive, as aware of itself as LIFE. I saw life as something that someone or something else can give to another or something, however never that LIFE itself give to itself as LIFE. Thus LIFE does NOT need someone or something in order to exist, it exists on itself, by itself. It is always HERE, whenever and wherever HERE is, life is HERE.

           

Now these Gods, whatever they are in people's minds, in order for them to exist as a God in reality, they have to have had LIFE first, they cannot exist before there was life, because LIFE is before everything, thus God cannot be a creator of LIFE as is being beLIEved in this world. Why? Because it implies that this God somehow was able to have an existence on its own without having any LIFE prior to its own existence, which is impossible!! And besides that, one cannot GIVE what one does not have, not even to oneself, let alone others. What does this mean for this God that most believers, believe into? It means that something that was not alive, did not have LIFE in any ways or form, in its very beginning has been given LIFE by itself somehow magically, and since then is now empowered to create with this gift he/she/it has been given by itself.??? Can one see it?? Thus creating first life without having it and then use that creation of life to create other creations with it??  Does it make any sense?? because apparently this God couldn't create without having to give himself LIFE first??   Now we can go further with these lines of questions. So If God gave LIFE to him/her/it-self without having life at first how did he/she or it exist without having any LIFE before he/she it gave it to him/her itself??

 As I said in the beginning, nothing can exist without LIFE, literally NOTHING. I am placing these questions, in order for people to see that if one keep on going with these questions one will reach a moment where one will see that the believe will start to crumble and it will fall, it cannot hold, because it won't make any sense anymore. Now I do understand that when one believes in God or any other thing that has to do with existence one will try one's best to make sure that the believe one has is protected and defended, because one thinks and believes that one needs it, when in reality one's needs are all taken care of by LIFE itself right here. One breathes in every moment. It is LIFE!! Either one believe or do not believe that one's breath is LIFE, it won't disappear or stop, because one is ungrateful. One will not be punished or not be punished because one did not at least give thanks to LIFE for the breathe of LIFE that LIFE support one with to exist within and as this world, this reality. It just keeps on going, never fringing, no matter what occupies ones mind. Thus LIFE is showing us in every moment that it does not give a F*** what it is one is busy with in ones mind, because it only deals with and support that which is REALITY, that which is REAL!! How many in their lives have given up their believes? Did they stop existing, did the breath stopped? Now lets go even further, when individuals are raping and murdering other individuals, in the moment of their actions, does LIFE leave them, before they could even start or in the middle of what they are doing? This question  is a very challenging question for those whom believe in God, because of what one read about this God as what he did with people whom were " bad/wrong/negative"  and went against him in the books that are telling the tails of these Gods, however not so for me, because I do not believe, I use common sense introspection to assess what is going on, about things I do not understand in a  moment. Thus the answer to that question is rather simple, We cannot, when we are being a raper, see that the one we are raping is another expression as ourselves as this LIFE. In our twisted/sick/abusive behavior we might even like what we are doing without having any inclination about what we are REALLY doing. As the raper we do not have in that very moment the same experience as the one we are raping or murdering. Because as I say, we are unaware of ourselves as LIFE that is within and as us as it is within and as others as ourselves. However because we are expressions of life what we do to ourselves as life have consequences in the reality we find ourselves within and as. Now one can interpret trough ones mind these consequences as : " bad,wrong,negative"  or " good,right or positive," all of which do not matter to what one has accepted and allowed to happen to another as oneself as life and the consequence will play itself out, because by doing it one has created it in reality. We are busy creating in every moment, and at the moment our creations are NOT what would be BEST for all that we are as creations within and as LIFE as outcomes of our creations. Thus whatever we as expressions of LIFE give in LIFE will be visible as our creation within our lives that have an effect and/or  affect lots of others in all of what life is HERE, not only for the ones that do/did it or initiated it, however also for all that are HERE.

The reason I and most of us humans do not see LIFE as alive, is because we are NOT equal and one with and as LIFE. We see LIFE as a thing that is needed in order to have an existence, Something that is separate from us, but not actually that we ARE IT!! However we never see/realize and understand that existence itself IS LIFE, and that we ARE this LIFE. For whatever to exist LIFE must be first, it must have its existence first in LIFE to come out of LIFE. Thus until, we do not become as one as equal as life here, the world as it exists right now will continue up to the point of us annihilating ourselves from this world and in so doing taking with us many other expressions of life that did not had actual deliberate participation in it. We must understand that we are doing it ourselves to ourselves, we are creating our own demise. There is no devil nor is there a god working behind the scenes, only humans with devilish thoughts or godly thoughts creating all of what is here as we know it and can see it, and experience it.
We are creating destruction, violence, abuse in all kinds of forms and manifestations and it is all HERE for all to see. Whatever we as humans create at the moment is reflecting our unawareness of ourselves as LIFE!!

As a man of great influence in my life has placed it once and I quote: " You will be measured by who you are, in what you do about what you see!"  Bernard Poolman.

These words I will never forget, because they speak volume about what I accept and allow to happen in my life and in lives of others in this world. To me these words are like, the greatest truth I have ever heard in my life.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Study this  proposal which is:  LIG

Day 377. Why Is GIVING Such a Problem For us The Humans?

Many of us humans, know that we have a problem with giving. We have created a society where if one is in the act of giving, it is being seen as a abnormality, something outside the norms, and we have managed to change the word; giving in some cases and call it charity, as if when one do this charity,  it is seen as an act of being noble and even an act of caring.

       

As one can see that which we have given other names to, is so, so we can see ourselves as beings that are caring, is actually telling us something about the way we live, the way we have come to shape our societies, where the act of giving is not a norm, has become something we do once in awhile in order to feel good about ourselves, because deep down we are aware that the way our societies are shaped is not healthy and goes against the nature of life on this earth, which is TO GIVE!!

Our foods are a gift
Our bodies are a gift
Our earth is a gift
All the resources we use to built and create things with in this world are gifts of LIFE.
Our breath is a gift
Life itself is a gift

Have a look. Do we pay the foods we eat? Do we pay the earth for the body it gives us to express within and as? Do we pay the Sun and Moon?  Do we pay the air we breathe? Do we pay the water itself we drink and wash ourselves with? Do we pay the resources we use? Do we pay life ?  Whom do we pay? Is it not the humans we are paying with the fruits of our labors and the fruits of our talents? Why does the human believe so much so that it even went as far as creating a system wherein it needs to be paid because it has contributed to something? Why is contributing to society not a gift, but something that one rather be paid for? Why do we see giving as something weak and not valuable and in some cases even wrong when everything we need that we are using in this world is a gift to us?

Life support itself through all that it is through giving.

Now we are going to school to study something, because we have made of our lives something that needs to be paid for. Everyone is doing something in order to get paid, and with getting paid, I do not necessarily mean; getting money, however the fact that one thinks and believe that one needs to "get" something because one have done something, contributed to something, this pattern is related to wanting/wishing to be special.
The idea of wanting to be special have brought lots of problems we now face in this world.
The whole wanting to be better than others in whatever, or thinking and believing that one is more than others or has more value than others stems from this want, this wish, this desire to be special.
As we can clearly see specialness can only exist in separation, and not in Equality and Oneness of life HERE. Specialness is conflict and friction, not necessarily something that is " bad/wrong/negative," however something that requires energy to exist, it cannot exist HERE in Breath, in effortless flow of life as Equality and Oneness.

Thus the solution to our problem as humanity is to start living the word: " GIVING." Enough with living the word: " PAYING!!"  Enough with living the word: " SPECIAL!!"


Thanks,

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Day 376, Who Am I In The Word Support PART 4

For context here are the 3 previous blogs related to this one.


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/06/day-375-who-am-i-in-support-part-3.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/05/day-374-who-am-i-in-word-support-part-2.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/04/day-373-who-am-i-in-word-support.html


Now continuing with finishing of on this point.



                                 

Self-Commitment statements:

I see, realize and understand that I am not prioritizing what I need to do in my life, because it gives me the self-interest outcome of  postponing on myself a little bit longer, meaning stretching my time in order to indulge in self-interest interest.

I see, realize and understand that I am in my mind trying to compress my process, as looking for a way to shortcut it, however by doing this I keep on looking within  my mind for a shortcut that never comes, because there is no real physical/practical movement, no real doing practically, and by only actually doing what I need to do in regards to my process the shortcut comes in the form of digging deeper into myself as to assessing how I created myself to be and become what I am up to this moment.

I see, realize and understand that I am living a personality out in the world of someone that is a nice person, to avoid myself getting into trouble with other people and also to avoid speaking my own truth and also speaking out common sense perspectives I see within others that might be very uncomfortable for the other, and due to it being an uncomfortable topic or issue, I can avoid it by being nice to everyone.

I see, realize and understand that I avoid to talk to people about uncomfortable points, because of self-judgement I had in relation to past experiences I had in the past wherein I became angry and the anger turned into rage, and thus not wanting myself to be rage, I avoid all of it completely.

I see/realize and understand that the rage that exists within me is about me holding on to anger and fear within me for a long time, and because it has accumulated so much of energy within me, it has to come out some time, thus when the opportunity is here, it all comes out as rage.

I see/realize and understand that through/via rage I am being the abuser I am myself trying to stop outside myself as another as myself, when in reality I am equally participating in the same construct.

I see/realize and understand that I am sometimes refusing help from others, because I judge their help as a debt, as a way they can get back at me when they need me, and have then something to throw at my face, they can use it to their advantage against me IF I cannot be of help to them.

I see/realize and understand that I have created a whole defense mechanism about this issue of being helped within myself to deliberately based on my self-judgement of being helped by others, to always help people without an agenda, just to like show others: " see, this is how it is suppose to be like." thus turning my helping others into kind of like a revenge kind of thing.

I see/realize and understand that all of this self-judgement within me is suiting the fear of being abused by others that exists within me as me as thoughts and memories.

I see/realize and understand that I postpone my own process because I use the self-created believe that I still have time, so I can take it slow, no need to rush or anything......however I am also aware that I am not aware when my time will be up and then it will be too late. Thus just working on myself as I should is what needs to be done.

I commit myself to push myself however with care and patience to prioritize and personalize my process in a way that it works best for me and wherein I do not have the " feeling" that I am overwhelmed by my process and that it is a drag.

I commit myself to stop trying to find an easy way out, a easier way to do process, which does not exist, it only exist in my mind as an illusion, because changing me requires real practical physical movement and application in real physical time.

I commit myself to be directive within expressing myself and stand within I am aware is common sense and what is best for all, and what I accept and allow and what I will not accept and allow.

I commit myself to work on my fears of being abused by others through applying myself in self forgiveness in every moment points like these come up within me, in order to not create believes that lead to consequences of me participating in this world as someone I am not.

I commit myself to keep on digging on the anger that exists within me that I have accumulated in the past within me through forgiving me and to really work out all of it so I cannot be influenced by them anymore, because they do not exist within me anymore.

I commit myself to work on my issue of fearing to be helped by others because of the believe I have created within me about others wanting to use that as a means to have an advantage over me through self forgiveness in order to free myself completely from this self created believe till there is none of it left in me that can influence my decision making and thus little by little allowing myself to be helped by others if asked and if needed.

I commit myself to work on my postponement point for real till it does not exist within me anymore, making sure that whenever I see myself going into or I am about to go into deliberately postpone my process, to stop and breathe and forgive it and then work it out through forgiveness.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Study this  proposal which is:  LIG

Day 375, Who Am I in the Word Support PART 3

I left off in my previous blog writing out the following:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have abused others more than a dozen times in my life, because of having power and control over them, because I see fear in them, instead of choosing to assist and support them to not be in fear and also for myself to assist and support myself to not go into fear myself that turns into rage, that than have an outflow of physical abuse to/towards another as myself.



Now in this blog will continue.

for more context I suggest reading the two previous blogs about this point.


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/05/day-374-who-am-i-in-word-support-part-2.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/04/day-373-who-am-i-in-word-support.html

continuing with Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a victim that needs to fight against a bully or an abuser to protect myself, without seeing/realizing and understanding by fighting against a bully which is an abuser, I am in fact equal and one with the very thing I am against.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a nice person, because by being a nice person I can manipulate others into liking me, accepting what I term me or find myself to be more easily, without seeing/realizing and understanding that what I perceive myself to be is of a personality design within and as my mind conscious system, that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to portray myself as a nice person, because it makes my living process much easier, as if  "easy" is what life should be like, when in reality I am aware that because of what I have accepted and allowed to be done to life in my name, in my participation, either direct or indirect has contributed to an uneasy way of living for myself and for all other forms of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an easy life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want and desire to have an easy life, because I am living a life that is the reverse of how I should be living life, which is to live a life that has results that are best for all of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to be helped when I was aware within and as myself that I do need the help in these moments, however just because of my own self-judgments have refused the help offered by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to let others help me, because I judge them helping in order for me to later on be also of help to them when they need it, thus a form of owing them something because they helped me once.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that others are helping or are wanting to help me, because they want to have something to tell me if one day they need my help and I cannot, than they can rub it in my face how they helped me in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to hold that judgement within me about others and therefore most of the time refuse to be helped, because of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse help based on my self-judgement, because it suits my self-interest, self-created believe that others are out to manipulate me and use me, take advantage of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to turn this self-judgement out within my world and be against it in practical living where I will help individuals to show them that I am helping them without having an agenda, that I am not helping them because I might need there help one day, thus I help them now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that helping someone based on these premises/these points are based on my self-interest need of tackling and fighting against my own self-judgement projected to/towards others as myself as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize and understand that behind this self-judgment is the fear of being abused and used by others as myself within and as myself existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear based character within and as myself that deals with this self-created opinion/self-judgement about others so that I can keep on feeding this deep rooted underneath the veil fear, that hides itself there in order for me to not face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep this fear of others wanting to abuse or use me intact within me in order to generate more energy for my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack in proceeding in working out my inner problems as I should.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to not proceed as I should because it suits my self-interest to put a hold on myself, thus a hold-on on my self-change, a hold-on on facing all of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my self-change, because of thinking and believing that I still have time, I delude myself with myself still having time, and take it too slow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it too slow just because I allow myself to indulge into points I haven't cleared out about myself yet totally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my common sense perspectives about myself even when they are clear as daylight what I am accepting and allowing to exist within me as me in every given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not support myself in the moments of seeing/realizing and understanding that I am letting myself down in not proceeding with what I am aware I must do to change myself in every moment of breath.


Will continue in the next blog.....................


Thanks.



Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study this  proposal which is:  LIG