Day 378, A Realization About LIFE.

I was watching a video on YouTube this morning and I saw a few people doing prayer. They were giving thanks to their chosen God.

And I started to look into how we give thanks to a God, which is a beLIEve and how we never give thanks to LIFE itself. This made me question within myself why is that I never in the past thanked LIFE itself?

I realized that I NEVER SAW LIFE ITSELF AS BEING ALIVE, Thus that life itself IS alive, as aware of itself as LIFE. I saw life as something that someone or something else can give to another or something, however never that LIFE itself give to itself as LIFE. Thus LIFE does NOT need someone or something in order to exist, it exists on itself, by itself. It is always HERE, whenever and wherever HERE is, life is HERE.

           

Now these Gods, whatever they are in people's minds, in order for them to exist as a God in reality, they have to have had LIFE first, they cannot exist before there was life, because LIFE is before everything, thus God cannot be a creator of LIFE as is being beLIEved in this world. Why? Because it implies that this God somehow was able to have an existence on its own without having any LIFE prior to its own existence, which is impossible!! And besides that, one cannot GIVE what one does not have, not even to oneself, let alone others. What does this mean for this God that most believers, believe into? It means that something that was not alive, did not have LIFE in any ways or form, in its very beginning has been given LIFE by itself somehow magically, and since then is now empowered to create with this gift he/she/it has been given by itself.??? Can one see it?? Thus creating first life without having it and then use that creation of life to create other creations with it??  Does it make any sense?? because apparently this God couldn't create without having to give himself LIFE first??   Now we can go further with these lines of questions. So If God gave LIFE to him/her/it-self without having life at first how did he/she or it exist without having any LIFE before he/she it gave it to him/her itself??

 As I said in the beginning, nothing can exist without LIFE, literally NOTHING. I am placing these questions, in order for people to see that if one keep on going with these questions one will reach a moment where one will see that the believe will start to crumble and it will fall, it cannot hold, because it won't make any sense anymore. Now I do understand that when one believes in God or any other thing that has to do with existence one will try one's best to make sure that the believe one has is protected and defended, because one thinks and believes that one needs it, when in reality one's needs are all taken care of by LIFE itself right here. One breathes in every moment. It is LIFE!! Either one believe or do not believe that one's breath is LIFE, it won't disappear or stop, because one is ungrateful. One will not be punished or not be punished because one did not at least give thanks to LIFE for the breathe of LIFE that LIFE support one with to exist within and as this world, this reality. It just keeps on going, never fringing, no matter what occupies ones mind. Thus LIFE is showing us in every moment that it does not give a F*** what it is one is busy with in ones mind, because it only deals with and support that which is REALITY, that which is REAL!! How many in their lives have given up their believes? Did they stop existing, did the breath stopped? Now lets go even further, when individuals are raping and murdering other individuals, in the moment of their actions, does LIFE leave them, before they could even start or in the middle of what they are doing? This question  is a very challenging question for those whom believe in God, because of what one read about this God as what he did with people whom were " bad/wrong/negative"  and went against him in the books that are telling the tails of these Gods, however not so for me, because I do not believe, I use common sense introspection to assess what is going on, about things I do not understand in a  moment. Thus the answer to that question is rather simple, We cannot, when we are being a raper, see that the one we are raping is another expression as ourselves as this LIFE. In our twisted/sick/abusive behavior we might even like what we are doing without having any inclination about what we are REALLY doing. As the raper we do not have in that very moment the same experience as the one we are raping or murdering. Because as I say, we are unaware of ourselves as LIFE that is within and as us as it is within and as others as ourselves. However because we are expressions of life what we do to ourselves as life have consequences in the reality we find ourselves within and as. Now one can interpret trough ones mind these consequences as : " bad,wrong,negative"  or " good,right or positive," all of which do not matter to what one has accepted and allowed to happen to another as oneself as life and the consequence will play itself out, because by doing it one has created it in reality. We are busy creating in every moment, and at the moment our creations are NOT what would be BEST for all that we are as creations within and as LIFE as outcomes of our creations. Thus whatever we as expressions of LIFE give in LIFE will be visible as our creation within our lives that have an effect and/or  affect lots of others in all of what life is HERE, not only for the ones that do/did it or initiated it, however also for all that are HERE.

The reason I and most of us humans do not see LIFE as alive, is because we are NOT equal and one with and as LIFE. We see LIFE as a thing that is needed in order to have an existence, Something that is separate from us, but not actually that we ARE IT!! However we never see/realize and understand that existence itself IS LIFE, and that we ARE this LIFE. For whatever to exist LIFE must be first, it must have its existence first in LIFE to come out of LIFE. Thus until, we do not become as one as equal as life here, the world as it exists right now will continue up to the point of us annihilating ourselves from this world and in so doing taking with us many other expressions of life that did not had actual deliberate participation in it. We must understand that we are doing it ourselves to ourselves, we are creating our own demise. There is no devil nor is there a god working behind the scenes, only humans with devilish thoughts or godly thoughts creating all of what is here as we know it and can see it, and experience it.
We are creating destruction, violence, abuse in all kinds of forms and manifestations and it is all HERE for all to see. Whatever we as humans create at the moment is reflecting our unawareness of ourselves as LIFE!!

As a man of great influence in my life has placed it once and I quote: " You will be measured by who you are, in what you do about what you see!"  Bernard Poolman.

These words I will never forget, because they speak volume about what I accept and allow to happen in my life and in lives of others in this world. To me these words are like, the greatest truth I have ever heard in my life.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela

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Day 168, Helping is NOT a Solution..!!!

So within this thread i am going to use some common sense reasoning for purposes of bringing more common sense into this world to those  whom are working around the clock doing what they belief to be ''the right thing to do'' or simply put: ''helping.''

                                                           

I have questioned this ''helping'' thingy a long time ago, and i asked myself: '' what is the point to keep on helping, when that which creates/causes the ''helping point/that which i am helping'' in the first place to exist, is NOT being removed..?''


This ''helping point'' is a big deal for religious people, it is like their final exam, to see if they will get into heaven or not when they die. And understand, that this heaven is a belief, it is NOT like everyone knows for sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt that it exists. This is one of the reasons people don't just for example remove themselves from this world, and always want/wish to stay as long as possible HERE, no-one really want to die, they all want to keep on living, and it seem that this living is HERE. There are beliefs/talks about an eternal life in heaven, but yet i see no believer aspiring themselves in removing themselves from this earth/this reality, because heaven awaits them with a much more better LIFE, than whatever life they may have on this earth.

So lets move back to the ''helping'' thingy.  Help if one have a look at it, with common sense, one immedaitely notice that it has got all to do with SELF-Interest.  Because the one that is so-called 'helping' always receives a reward, either a reward as a ''good feeling'' or a reward that is related to a belief structure in their minds that after their death, Eternal LIFE will be granted to them. And apperently this after death reward seemingly have much more value than the ''good feeling'' reward that they go through for a while when they are HERE. So you have the Self-Interest of only that particular individuals wanting to ''feel good'' about themselves by the rewards they will get when people that they ''help'' thank them for their amazing work/contibution/support, and for their personal fullfilment when they can believe themselves that, that particular act they acted upon have made the apperent God that is in this heaven keeping the ''good scores'' up for when they arrive there, they will be honored/rewarded with Eternal-Life. Can you see this, How self-interest this whole ''helping'' thingy really is..??


Now if the ones that were helping,----------------- now understand i am NOT blaming or critisizing here, i am looking at this ''helping'' thingy with you in common sense, to see if it is something that can actually SOLVE the problems that we have in this world practically or NOT.  Also understand that i am NOT saying that if you are capable and have the means to HELP, to NOT do so, by all means ''help'' if you can. The real point about this is: '' are you wanting/willing to help forever or to be part of an existence where you have to repeatedly ''help'', or do you want to SOLVE problems..??  Notice a peculiar thing. With helping it always have a dependency mechanism on the capitalistic system, it is NOT a REMOVAL action, it is a keeping the helping point( suffering,starvation,war...etc etc) co-existent, it is putting bandages on the wound instead of making sure that injuries do not occur where we have to keep on putting bandages all the time. And finally, helping is a guilt/feeling sorry-point action within the very system that produces that kind of scenarios/occurrences/circumstances/happenings that the ''good intentional people'' are trying to support to continue to exist by doing this peculiar thing called: '' Helping.'' Which is by the way, a positive action/movement, with a very negative outcome to all LIFE on earth, because it gives you the incentive to keep the CAUSE alive. By having the capitalistic system producing more atrocities, from which one can have opportunities to ''help'' these atrocities and call oneself a ''good man/caring person/compassionate person.''  What a fuck up world we live in, isn't it..??


Why are people affraid to tackle the REAL source of the problem, which IS the capitalistic system itself, with all it's rules/laws/regulations that protect it..??

Most know for example, that depending in what kind of field you're working, that if you have problems at work, that those whom hired you to solve the problems are expecting this result from you, thus that you solve the damn problem when there is a problem, right..??  They did NOT hire you to HELP the problem continue existing. If you would help the problem continue existing it won't be long, that they will sent you home/fire you. But yet at work, we will do whatever it takes to solve the problem that will arise at work. Meanwhile problems in LIFE we do NOT have the same drive to SOLVE them as we do in our jobs.  So whom are we than, what kind of individuals are we than..?? Do we really Care for all LIFE...??  Apperently as you can see with this simple example; we DO NOT care for LIFE at all....!!!    This is easy, and once again it all have to do with.............yes you already  guessed right..??  yes...............SELF- INTEREST..!!  Because you already know what degrees of difficulties you will go through when you do NOT have a job in this world, so you will avoid at all costs this consequence of not being able to survive within this STUPID system, called ''capitalistic system.''


So by all means investigate what is going on, question your beliefs, be self-honest about whom you are in what you do, about what you see....!!!!



Thanks.


Larry Manuela



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Day 141, SFS On How Can I Be False Part 2.

So here i  am continuing with my self-forgiveness statements in regard to this one specific point of falseness.

 

                                                       

To have a look at what lead to these self-forgiveness statements, see:

Day 139     and  the intro of self-forgiveness on   Day 140.

Self-forgiveness on the thoughts:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of a woman crying because she felt i did not understood her correctly and i did not give her attention to her deepest pains, wherein i do NOT see/realize/understand at all how i created this thought to exist within me as me yet. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately forget how i create a thought in me based on memories i have implanted within me to exist within me as me, that i will call ME/I, and on top of all this belief/think that it is me, when the REAL me as my human physical body right here, i am completely unaware of how i am AS IT right HERE and LIVE as IT AS me as ONE as EQUAL as MYSELF as LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of seeing myself getting into fights physically or argumentatively and due to this i then lay low in order to keep myself NOT getting into conflict/friction, without realizing that this very allowance of this thought is being created as conflict/friction within me that i will eventually end up experiencing as a thought afterwards when parts of my body have been killed and consumed and than been transformed into energy, to exist within me as me as energy as the mind. Thus my energy experience of a thought is where the part(s) of my human physical body that i am still as of right not yet one and equal with/as, have been transformed into energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of a man well-suited up sitting behind a desk and ordering people around and being very abusive to/towards them to exist within me as me as energy as the mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of seeing myself not getting some specific task done  and sweat running on my forehead, because i am trying to do it as how someone else want, when i know it doesn't work for me, in can't get it done in his/her way, to exist within me as me as energy as the mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought where i see myself with my head down and my eyes full of tears and anger to exist within me as me as energy as my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought where i see myself laughing at others within my own mind, when they say: '' i know the system is going to get back as it once was.'' to exist within me as me as energy as my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form thoughts based and charged with judgements of what i perceive/view/interpret about others according to my own past created and held-on accepted and allowed judgmental interpretation based on opinions of others and then taken as my own and shaped/mold to represent myself in a so-called unique way, when all that i am in fact is only that which is of memories within and as myself, just a memory entity as energy.

I realize how all of my thoughts are for real just memories, as their origin within and as myself as the mind that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in this world. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become memories as from where i will manifest thoughts to keep me occupy so i do not notice my total separation to my human physical and this whole physical existence HERE, wherein i have no idea whatsoever what it really is.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make sure i have thoughts to entertain myself within my own self-created separation from myself wherein i only experience some energetics within myself as thoughts/feelings/emotions and NOT at all have a real physical actual and factual interaction and touch with and as my human physical body itself, i am just i pure energy entity within the human body that is dependent of the human body for it to have it's parasitic existence to continue till my body have had enough of the abuse of this parasite within it, that acts as if it is a GOD.

Self-forgiveness on emotions related to the points:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry and sadness for others and due to this try and project an image of myself to others as myself as it exists within my memory-bank, that will suit the moment best for a successful effective agreement for the one on the receiving end, without seeing/realizing/understanding how i and the other are both within that moment agreeing on the same thing, which is that we need our memories to come with some solution to feelings that the memory itself has made sure that we experienced. It is like the blind leading the blind and both pretending that they can see. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to delude others as i delude myself in thinking/believing that what i have as memory are viable and valuable to the HERE moment that is NOT the past as the memory that i am allowing myself to measure the HERE moment with, when the sadness and sorry i feel is nothing more then a memory that is already dead and is NOT HERE anymore, it can only exist as a memory within me when i supercharge it with energy produced by the my human physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let FEAR interfere within and as my existent HERE, in order to make sure that i DO NOT remember how i created the FEAR to exist and be experienced as real and as the ME in this world, in this existence.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go through the experiences of uncomfortableness/uneasiness and frustration due to the fact that the people in the system that accept and allow the system to exist and don't want to STOP it, are doing everything in their power to NOT agree with the message of EQUALITY, so much so that they will go back into their books of knowledge and information from some old dead person, that had some ideas based on their opinions, because none of them were aware at all how their minds really worked thus was just regurgitating what the mind spewed forth/out and took this as some very profound and deep thinking, when in reality when i investigate what they said i can see that most if not all of them whom said some great things, were speaking out of separation in some form or another and wanted to form something else but again in separation from those they deem as wrong/bad/negative/not deserving to be part of their newly molded and in another jacket separation continuation and this is NOT equality at ALL..!! 

EQUALITY is about honoring and giving value to LIFE that is EQUAL as ONE in everyone and everything and live according to this principle always in all kinds of ways, leaving nothing and no-one behind..!!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the emotion as impatient experience to exist within me as me as energy as my mind, due to the fact that i am sensing that people are NOT getting the simple message just because they don't want to, and because of this not seeing/realizing/understanding that in the suffering that will flow out of this, will not be just for them that seem safe now, but for all participants in this world, for the good/bad, for the right/wrong, for the positive/negative humans, all must suffer in one way or another in order to understand that we are all together in each breath creating this mess that is HERE that the majority is thinking/believing that they did not for whatever positive belief they may have about themselves.

Thanks, to be continued tomorrow..................

Larry Manuela

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Day 88, Random Thoughts And Memories On Time.

Within this post i will be doing self-forgiveness on memories and thoughts related to time.

 

 

So now i am having this memory of me always looking at the clock as a means to measure my lateness, and not how much time i still have. I always look at the clock and say within myself:'' holy fuck, is it already that late, and i haven't done shit yet.'' So i will be doing self-forgiveness on time.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see/look at time as translating the time as me being always late within myself, even though i am the kind of individual that is 99% of the time way on time, but yet i have this fear within me of being late, hence that is why i am always 30 to 40 minutes early sometimes even an hour early wherever i have to be, i always make sure that i have time to spare so for any reason something would happen, the possibility for me to still make it on time exists.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link time to a negative judgement within me, because in my life NOT being on time was seen as negative and within the system not being on time is punished and punishment is also negative. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge time as negative and link time together with negativity also with punishment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that right now as i am writing my self-forgiveness statements see that i also fear negativity and punishment for being negative, without ever seeing/realizing/understanding how i am just fearing my own fear because in myself there is fear and outside myself as in the world system is also fear, the world system itself is a system of fear,  it is a fearful thing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to come as far as to let fear exists within me and then fear it. Hence within this----------because i am fear inside of myself i create fear outside of myself also and not only for myself but for all others as myself as life here. Thus everything i touch as anyone else touches is always a fearful thing, because all we ever were was just fearful beings, creating exactly that which we are. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself only as fear and nothing else.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear humanity as humanity is the manifestation of fear, and within that humanity will try to veil it with a creation out of this fear that will be experienced as it's opposite, which is LOVE. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word love to fear and hence the word fear to time, creating within my mind the perfect scenario as i live in this world that is my creation together with others that have exactly these three things in it, which are; '' fear, time and love.''  Within this i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how fear is the basis for the other two, thus that the other two would have never existed if it wasn't for fear, thus meaning that me as fear is the creator of time as fear and of love as fear, because my starting point is and has always been just fear, because i created myself as fear, and from this all i will ever create will have it's foundation in and as fear, as the whom i am, as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how far deep in the rabbit hole i managed to put myself, creating myself as fear that i will create a whole system for me to only experience myself as fear in many many ways, and through many characters i play myself and other parts of fear will play out as themselves together with me, creating together a perfect scenario of a fearful world,where fear govern and control all aspect of my living and their living.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even fear sticking to my breath, because i have accepted and allowed myself to live so much in my mind that i fear loosing living in my mind, so every time i am in breath and i am not participating in my mind, i will create this fear within me, but that will come dressed up as in a positive way for me not to ignore it but embrace it and before i know it, i am a machine running thoughts.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear time, because time means to me that there is an END and an END is not what i would like, i would like continue living, thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear continuation of living and create through this the very END. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw how within me, fear is something that ENDS, and ENDING is something that is fearful.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to veil myself as fear in order to try and prevent myself as the END of myself as FEAR, because FEAR as what i have accepted and allowed to be/become can never be LIFE. Life is for the expression of LIFE itself, and expression of and as LIFE is NOT fear/fearful, it is LIVING.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw how i connected: '' fear/time/love'' to LIFE and hence within this abused LIFE, because for anything that is NOT LIFE to attempt to be real or at least be experienced as real, it have to depend on LIFE, so i abused LIFE for that which is NOT real, which are: '' fear/time/love.''

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how and when i am in my breath here that as here within and as my breath there is no time, there is no fear, there is no love, just me as breath here within and as my human physical body. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the greatest fear that i have ever invented within myself and that is the fear of: ''LIVING''

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how in me creating myself as fear--------- i veiled myself in a fear that is the opposite of the real fear i have, and the veiling fear is the fear of DEATH, because the fear of death is not so great as the fear of LIVING that is within me. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the fear of death to cover my greatest fear, which is the fear of LIVING, because i know deep down within myself that i will find out even in death what living and LIFE is all about, but when i am HERE, i make sure as myself as fear to NOT find out now. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not give me the opportunity to find out now, the whom i am as LIFE HERE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to veil myself in an illusion knowing that veiling and illusion can never ever STOP LIFE expressing LIFE, because both rely on LIFE to exist, and their reliance as me as them within me, is one of abuse, one of a parasitic nature, one of sucking on LIFE, so when LIFE leave me, i as the illusion as the veiling and the illusion itself ENDS forever.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to measure time within my mind as memories, as memories that shoot of in the form of thoughts, that will preoccupy me into oblivion, removing me far far away from me finding out the whom i am as LIFE, for the whom i am as LIFE cannot be found in memories, because memories are creations out of me as fear. Thus i can only find out the whom i am for real in me being HERE one and equal as LIFE

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear now as i write my self-forgiveness statements, because i see/realize/understand that for me to realize myself as LIFE HERE, i must go through the memory of me as fear,as all that i have created myself to be/become as fear to release myself from it, thus seeing/realizing/understanding how i created myself as fear that are now as memories as the whom i am now in this world, in this reality. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself only as a fearful thing, because all i have done was creating myself as fear in many many ways, layers upon layers of fear as characters of fear in an horror theater that is also fearful.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to face myself as fear because of fear, within which i see now how crazy this is, to fear my own fear, which is all i have ever ever been until now: '' a fearful being, creating itself in a fearful existence/reality to be experienced as itself.''  Within this using and abusing LIFE to make the experience have an appearance of being experienced as real, but REAL it will never BE.

I commit myself to show through my writings, self-forgiveness and my commitments to life that fear is all we have ever been and that there is a way out in the form of self-forgiveness as a tool to release the memories and layers and self-honesty to identify what one has become as the lie that is NOT LIFE.

I commit myself that whenever i see myself going into fear, or thoughts that will ignite fear to STOP--------------- Breathe and make sure i am touching myself or something that is physically here so i don't loose myself within my mind.

I commit myself to STOP little by little my apparent fear of lateness connected to time, till time is only real as me as breath here as the real time that exists, which is breath-time.

I commit myself to STOP trying to veil myself from myself, for veiling is another illusion within an illusion as an illusion that does not serve LIFE at all, and hence bring myself here as breath within and as my human physical body one and equal.

I commit myself to show through my writings,self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE how far deep we have layered ourselves as fear as i walk little by little myself back into the physical, back into LIFE, out of my mind.

I commit myself to STOP myself in breath every time i see myself going into linking and connecting time to negativity and punishment,and forgive myself for doing so,hence walk myself little by little out of this layer of fear i have created myself into.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 63, The contradiction Of Love.

Today i read a friends quote: '' I spit on those who go out of my life. I will find a replacement for everyone. But those who stayed, I love more than life! '' 

And friend if you are reading this do not take this personal, just look at the words we use in our languages as what they are. And we debunk the who we are within ourselves that is not nice and beautiful as many think/belief.

I had some reactions within me when seeing such statements, because i know people, like us in this world like to say things to boost our EGOS up, and look big and strong and full of guts in the eyes of the others, but we are never really standing still and have a closer look at what we are really really saying and to what extent it can influence others in their particular lives and that what we are saying is something we can NOT even live, and that it is NOT supporting all life practically at all.

 

 

Now lets look at the first part: '' I Spit On Those Who Go Out Of My Life.''

 When i take those words and place them as my words i see this: '' those who has hurt me in some way or another or that have just left me alone i will hate them, for leaving me alone, for hurting me, for leaving me at all.'' 

and for the second part: '' but, those who stayed i love more then life!''

Now here again when i take those words and place them as my words i see this: '' i only love people whom value me myself and i alone, they support my ego personality, they will never challenge me, so i will love them.''

Now when i look at this whole sentence as my words in common sense i can see that they are NOT supporting LIFE.  I see lots of rage and anger within myself, and hate to/towards those whom apparently left me in the dry as they say. I see them as those whom wasn't there for me for whatever fuck-up i had in my life, where i believed i needed them and their support, but within this i forgot about me supporting myself and did not see that whatever that is going on within me is only going on within me and me alone, no-one else goes through the experience but me myself and I. All the hate and anger and spitefulness is all only in me, not in them whom left me alone. The responsibility for what goes on within me is mine alone, i cannot blame others for what goes on within me, and even when i do blame others i am blaming myself, because the blame is coming from me not them, it's all ME..!! I am the source of the blame.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what goes on within my own mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand how blame itself is always Self-blame, it is NEVER the other person or thing no matter what it is, it is always SELF. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how the blame that is existent within me as an emotional charge is only within me, and that i then project this blame as an emotional charge to/towards others outside of me as if they are the source of the blame as an emotional charge( in the form of anger/hate/spitefulness) within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place the word ''love'' as something as so high in regard and even dare to make it MORE then LIFE, when there is nothing more then LIFE, because i know for sure that love can never be real if there is no life, love depends on LIFE, so it can NEVER ever be more then life as is everything else. Thus i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize/understand that Everything that depends on LIFE can never be more then what it depends on which is LIFE,  and that i did not see this is simple common sense.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the words ''spit on those'' as in seeing them as the vile, or as unworthy, and deserving to be treated as dirt i can spit on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the emotion of hate to exist within me to/towards others as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the emotion of anger to exist within me to/towards others as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the emotion of spite to exist within me to/towards others as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make choices on behave of people that will agree with me and those whom i see that will challenge me, i will spite them and disagree with them, for not assisting and supporting the personality i belief/think i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give the personality that i BELIEF i am more value then the manifested life that I AM as my human physical body. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my own body and all bodies to continue the existence of me as the personality that i belief i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see love as something that makes me ''feel good'' within myself and an action as in doing ''good deeds'' for others, but all for the premise to what it will make me feel and not as what is my self-responsibility for being here as an expression of life with certain capabilities where i can assist and support other life-forms/expressions as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief and think that just because ''love'' is experienced within me as a ''good feeling'' that i should value it above everything else, and just because i have been brainwashed through and by society to always look for this love as the ultimate feeling i give it more value then all the other feelings, without seeing/realizing/understanding that they are all feelings, thus feeling manifesting itself in many forms, and in this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this ''good feeling as love'' as an excuse to NOT take my responsibility for what i see as ''bad/wrong/negative'' in this world practically, instead i choose to go into my mind and find happiness and bliss while the world continue to suffer for real in my face practically. And no matter how many experiences of bliss and happiness i can generate within me,they will never make me become practical in solving all the atrocities in this world, because i will just sit and be happy and experience bliss in the middle of all the suffering around me,and see the suffering as NOT real and my experience of bliss and happiness as real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw how in happiness and bliss, in their very essence they are evil, because they make me NOT see/realize/understand for real what is really going on and that i have to take my responsibility and in this make me careless and without compassionate, i will only use these words, but never live them practically, to support all LIFE equally and as ONE.

I commit myself to expose through my writings all that is here as words as what we give meanings to, and show how they don't support LIFE, but abuse LIFE in many ways, and that this is NOT a blame but an exposure as the words we have we live as us in this world, that we need to STOP living them, and live words that support life practically, not Abuse it.!!

I commit myself to show through my writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments to life that i will assist and support others as me that are not yet seeing/realizing/understanding what they are doing to themselves and others as themselves, and within this take their words and make them mine and do self-forgiveness on them as my words for that to is my responsibility as LIFE, because i am HERE.

Thanks.

 

Larry Manuela

 

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Day 52, The Questions.

I am going to do self-forgiveness on questions that i have and have had.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the moment i had any question it meant that i was not the directive principle within my participation as a human physical body in this world, in this reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life to have hold on  to questions, because i saw more in questions than what i saw in answers, and from then on i started questioning everything, but did not question my own questioning, nor myself as the how/who/what/why/where i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to squander my own living in my pursuit of questioning what i perceived was life, was the way we are living as humans,and as what existence is.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to rely on beliefs in the past that i used as a way to question more and more of what is going on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not question the existence of god the moment i was told by my parents that god existed, and i just accepted it as a truth without any proof whatsoever.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never question when i was a teen why it was i as a teen needed to behave and do certain specific things in life in order to be acceptable by others, and within this just accepted and created a personality to do this, when leaving behind myself as expressing life, just to fit in, in the personality game everybody else was busy living out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not question how me living as personality can never be real, because my body lives because of the breath of life, and not because of the personality i think/belief i am.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make of questioning a lifestyle instead of using it to question my own participation within this world and to correct myself so i can be an example as to how to live and not abuse and not in separation with myself as my body nor any other expression of this physical world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself with my own questionings regarding life, without taking my realizations to the point of changing myself with what i find as to be common sense, but yet continue with my questioning as if there must be more and not saw/realized/understood that the more is already here as the physical existence, this physical reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to question all beliefs, but not my own belief as what i belief myself to be which is what i accept and allow myself to be as an personality within this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not question how my interest in questioning life, how i and everyone else lives was really only for the self-interest of myself as what i believed life to be and how i live within this world with the other humans, but not as one and equal as life as the totality as what is HERE.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to walk a path of '' the one that questions'' without seeing/realizing/understanding how my questioning was not being met in practical living, i was just questioning stuff, but not living the realizations that i uncovered with my questionings, my questioning did not make me life-aware.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to question things out of knowledge and information and not out of common sense practical living.

 

I commit myself to question things only if they are in alignment with practical common sense living and not in any other form of questioning, because it will be on my knowledge and information which is based in memories as the past, the world of opinions and beliefs. Common sense is what is here right in this moment, and if it is what is best for all or not, if not then must be addressed and eradicated immediately because it does not support LIFE.

I commit myself to through writing,self-forgiveness and my commitments to show as an example that questioning out of knowledge and information and without any action is useless and will only bring much more confusion in humanity.

I commit myself to walk as an example as to how to question and how to use your ability to questionings all things only for the purpose to bring about a world that is best for all life, and after that world is in place we don't need to question anything anymore, we will be living as life expressions.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 32, What Is The Purpose.?

Within this blog i am going to do self-forgiveness on what i understood purpose to be and also at the same time redefine purpose as to what is physically best for all life, which is our life principle. I have noticed/realized that many people have many different understanding on what is their purpose here on planet earth,most don't even know and are all guessing and believing something or another, but all of it have nothing to do with actual practical living, it is for most something that is more out there. Living here is not important, it is what they belief will come after living here, that is of most importance to them and within this abdicating living here totally and destroy and abuse everything in their path, just because in the back of their heads they think/belief that they are not going to be here forever anyway, so let us just abuse and destroy, because afterwards we leave and we never come back anyhow. Hence you have a world what we have right now, where no-one give a damn about anyone or anything as long as they are having a ''good time'' doing whatever they do that is as/of self-interest to them, and within this ignoring/neglecting all the abuse and atrocities that are busy going on while they are having their ''good times'' in whatever way. some see their purpose into their jobs, into their studies, into their sports, into their arts. Still not realizing/seeing/understanding how LIFE itself is never THE PURPOSE to them, all the purposes they have are system-based, and belief-based, nothing substantial as LIFE/LIVING. Can we truly be that blind..???

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that my purpose in life was to do good things to people in general, because when i do that, i can be assured that when i die i will get my reward as a nice place in the hereafter.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that by just going to school and study to become ''someone'' later on in life, by getting a job based on my credentials obtained in school, that this was my purpose for being here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that, having a job and getting money is all what is installed in living here on this planet as i understood it as one of the purposes for being here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the purpose of me being here, was to get me some woman and then make children and live happily ever after as the story goes, without realizing how limited all this none sense truly is.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see purpose in having a belief of sorts, when in this i gave my belief more value then life itself which has gifted me this human physical body to express life itself into and as.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my purpose for being here as in thinking  things up to do,not seeing/realizing/understanding that the very thinking is the problem in this world, that thinking is not natural to human physical body. The human physical body naturalness is EXPRESSING life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see purpose in having feelings and emotions, because in my life this is all i have been following without ever questioning them, as if they are the very source of my existence and without them i cannot function, when in reality when i am one and equal in/as my breath i can STOP them, and still be HERE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my purpose in being here without questioning nothing and live according to what the system i found here in place dictate of me, as how and when and why and everything i should be living. And within this systematic living, i have squandered LIFE itself, for a false living, which is systematic, as if life needs a system in order to express itself, when life needs only itself to express itself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even look or belief that there is a purpose for living, when life have no purpose, life just is, and express itself in many different ways and manifestations. It is us humans that have given the expressions and manifestations of life as in separation with ourselves as life a purpose, believing/thinking that because something exists it must have a purpose and reason for it's existence, we still can't see without purpose what life is as ourselves as one as equal as all.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give value in purpose instead of given value for the life i have and am.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through my own participation limit life as in having a purpose, when by doing this i have limit my own expression as life, by giving it a purpose.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that without a purpose for living there is just nothing, without realizing that it is only me as the human in my mind is thinking and believing in life having or not having a purpose, the rest of the expressions and manifestations are expressing, while i as a human is busy thinking instead of expressing life. That is why it is so difficult for me to see a purpose in existing as a grain of sand in this world, or a rock. Because in my thinking process these have no purpose they are just there and don't move or doing anything but being a grain of sand and a rock.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that in order for me to function in this world i must go by laws/rules/regulations that in essence are restricting and obstructing me to not express myself as free as life as oneness and equality as what is best for all. So i have come to allow myself to go by laws/rules/regulations as if they are the very purpose i need in order to control my own and everyone and everything else their behavior in this world, but when one see/realize/understand it is a control that i mandated of and by the system of debt and profit making we have come to accept and allow to be here as a way to live with each other.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to see my purpose of being here in competition, when i have a closer look at competition i can clearly see that competition is not something that is supporting life, as a matter of fact it is destroying life, because inherently within competition is the drive to always want to win and the fear of always not to loose. And the fear to not to loose is bigger then the drive to win, it is the engine for the drive to win. It is the starting point of competition- the fear for not having to loose.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even see purpose as in competition to exist within me, as a way to express myself, when it is just a way that i use to behave myself in certain ways in keeping up with this game of separation that i have accepted and allowed to be here as my world as my existence, without realizing/seeing/understanding how i have squandered life for competition.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that one of my very purposes to be here is to look for sex, lots of sex, because without sex i might get bored into this game of separation and start questioning and find out what is really going on and that separation is not suppose to be the who i am.

I commit myself to always to earth myself through breathing when i am deluding myself in my mind with the belief that life has a purpose and also stand clear in this to assist and support others that are still blind to this belief in this world.

I commit myself to walk as an example as what it means to express life, so the delusion as in purpose can little by little just like i am doing now little by little be removed by just living here as life one and equal with and as every breath.

I commit myself to always show that life itself have no purpose and if i do give it a purpose i have to then make sure that it is one that is best for all life, it must be one and equal with the principle of living.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 26, The Seeking Part 2

Continuing with the self-forgiveness from yesterday.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be mesmerized by the words i was reading in the books, just because in the books the words were unusual words and words from other dead languages that supposedly must have had some magic power in them, apparently those people from the past were very evolved and had some great secret knowledge that we somehow in the present must look for if we can understand it all and become like them, and within this totally disregarding the fact that what i was reading was in no way possible to be true, simply because it is not HERE anymore, i would have to depend on my belief in it, and that is about it.It can never be an absolute truth because it is a possible past event written that can or cannot be true.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that just because i am reading some old language words that it will give me some power of some sorts or some realization of some sorts, because the words were meant to give the reader some specific knowledge.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for these big words and magic words used in esoteric teachings as if they were special.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek special words in esoteric teachings, because i see/realize/understand that within me was a desire to be special, so i looked for that which will make me special among the group called humanity.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the words spoken of spiritual masters as enlightenment words that could enlighten me somehow to some higher state of being, that i believed would be necessary in order for me to be more effective in bringing about a change in this world, without seeing/realizing/understanding that within this i was separating me from myself more and more instead of just being here as life in every moment of breath one and equal as my human physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take every word that was uttered from the spiritual master teachers as great words of knowledge when in reality, i was not changing at all, i was just accumulating more knowledge and information and was talking about it, and that was about it, which looked as if i was changing, but the only change was the new knowledge and information i was talking about that i acquired out of books and out of listening to talks with spiritual master teachers around the world. And within this giving value to knowledge instead of practical living here in and as the physical,where all is seen and known and is in fact the reason why i was seeking something higher or whatever because of what i saw as ''wrong/bad/negative'' in this world. I see/realized/understand that it is the physical that project our acceptances and allowances of what we have become in this world, in this existence.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the spiritual master teachers as more then me, as being special, as having some ability that i would never have no matter what i do, i will just have to give in and give up and follow them, and try to implement their teachings in my life, when their teachings are not really designed to work in my daily physical living in the system and that will make me a human being that does in all ways what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to engage into channeling materials on the websites where i saw that they were spreading the message of love and higher vibratory existences where if one does what they were saying, one will automatically when the vibratory shift that they were talking about happens, be also part of it, without seeing/realizing/understanding that this is also another trap of me not being here as in breath as the physical human body that i am in this world, on this planet, in this existence.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself into believing/thinking that by acquiring some higher knowledge will somehow end the consequences i will live and also those consequences i affected upon others in this life, when in reality, i did not see/realize/understand that i already created those consequences and that i will have to face them all eventually and also those that i have caused to be affected will also have to go through the consequences that i have affected upon them, within this creating a whole world where suffering and abuse and harm is done to life in many different ways.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find knowledge and information as more then life, without ever truly living life, and in so doing abdicating my own physical living here as the manifested form of life as that which is my human physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be lured into believing and squandered my own living here as the physical human body.

I commit myself to to prepare myself in order for me to not ever have to rely on ''believes'' but just be here as a living being equal and one as life.

I commit myself t expose the delusions/illusions enlightenment and religions has brought to us, when it is totally obvious that they did not bring a practical real solution to problems in this world.

I commit myself use the knowledge and information gain in the past that i can still remember and reverse it to show it's true nature as the deception it all was and is.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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