Day 343, Consequences of using money as we do right now.

List of our delusions that have become our way of living:


I am making a living. { No, we are not making any living on this planet, we are destroying life actually, all we do now is try as hard as possible to make MONEY and making money stands for destruction of life in this world right now, even when one is making money with very good intentions}

I earn a living. { Why do I have to "EARN" my living, who came up with this idea? was he or she someone that gave life instruction/command for me to have a life, and if so he or she must be someone that was before life?, which of course is impossible, because there is nothing before life or beyond life and certainly not the human.}

I work for my bread. { There are just practical things we HAVE to do in order to survive, and these we can term work, but work as we understand work right now as in: "MAKING MONEY" is delusional, why? because it supports the system of money, and NOT life. Now, one may argue that money gives one the ability to right now buy the things one needs to survive with, which by the way have become more, our needs have increased with this money scam, lots and lots of products are being made to fit into the description of "our needs" that are actually not necessary, they only exist because someone wants to make money, which in their turn helps with the exhausting of the earth resources. Thus buying one's needs, or surviving, or believing that this means one's life is supported within this money system , is actually at the other end of the polarity, taking life/exhausting life/destroying life. The reason most of us don't see this, is because we don't pay attention to all that is here and question what we see and hear, and even when we do, we don't do anything about it, to stop it and then change it.}



                                                           

I have to work. { Here, again we use the word work as meaning: "making money." just have a look at it, all we do is either striving to one day  have a work/job or we are working or we want to change work/job to get a better paid work/job. Is this all we came here to do, to just be born, go to school, study something so we can than use that which we have studied in order to have a work/job? That's it? Is this all what the human being is good for? According to the brainwashing, this is our purpose in life. Just have a look at it, it is all that we do. We spent more of our times working then anything else years on.}

I have to have an income. { The most successful brainwashing ever in the history of mankind, in order to convince the slaves to continue being slaves without much resistance.}

I need money. { Again the most successful brainwashing, actually believing that we  NEED money in order to survive, overlooking that all the things we really need to survive with/ all the resources we are using, are and were already here and NOT ONE human OWNS any of these!!!!! We just have to use them in the best possible way, but we don't, we abuse/misuse/destroy that which was here before the brainwashing happened and that are really actually what we DO need to survive with. We have made money the middle-"man," stripping/separating our direct relationship with what is here as the earth resources to work with and expand and learn and grow.}

I need money to buy things. { yes of course now that we have imprison our own lives, with this money we can place it as a big need, I mean have a look at how far we have come  to accept and allow this delusion/illusion, so far that people and animals and plants and lots and lots of other lifeforms have to die/be murdered/be killed in order for us humans to continue with our delusion of having to "need" money, so much so that it has become our reality, because we are living the delusion, making it real no matter what, destroying ourselves and everything else along the way.}

I am rich. { It may look like that for awhile, that someone can be "rich" in this system of money, but eventually poverty will be encountered along the way, because the very system that one is using to get rich with, is the system that takes and takes and takes from life in order for someone to be able to call themselves "rich" within this system. So when there is nothing more left to take, the rich will be EXTREMELY poor. So poor that the word poor itself is too poor to call it poor.}



                                                          

I am poor. { The other end of the polarity, wherein our delusional great brainwashing as "money" as we know it, hold its grip.}

I have power. { No. We don't have power with this money at all, we are weak, very weak. We only told ourselves and came to believe it whole heartedly that when one is in a position of having lots of this illusionary thing called money, that one have power, but actually it implies that one have placed oneself through/by using this money in a position where one can abuse others. It makes abuse so much easier. Thus the power that is talked about within this current system is actually none other than the power to abuse others. It is not real power as in GIVING. This is what LIFE does,it GIVES unconditionally. Our current creation of money only takes. So only when we give money the REAL power to give as life gives, then money will have real power and us using this money as in giving with it, then our usage of the money is real power. Then we as humanity can empower ourselves and lead ourselves into living exchanging what we have become as a humanity that have learnt how to give and live it as its own expression wherein through the human as it express itself it is giving life to life back.}

I own things. { No we don't "own" things. These things we "own" were the things we have stolen by using the the scam called money as we know it right now. And as a matter of fact we cannot "own" anything, because we came with nothing and we will leave with nothing.}

I own a big house. { No we have to get out of this illusion of owning things, and just start to get use to USING things in the best possible way till we are no longer here.}

I don't have a house, just a shack. {yes unfortunately within this system of money, lots of people will live in these shacks, because apparently the middleman called: "money" is not here to support its creator, which is the human being, it is the creation of the human to enslave itself, imprison itself. Through its own creation the human will practically see/realize and understand that it did not gave its creation responsibility to/towards life, because we as humans ARE irresponsible. Our creation of money as we know it is just our reflection.}

I live in a mansion/castle. { of course this is one of the pleasures of some within the current monetary system, where these few can live in mansions and castles and probably having poor people to clean their mess up and taking care of these mansions and castle for them, all they have to do is give a very small amount of their money to these poor people and whuala, the abuse can continue, and they can now justify that they care about the poor people because at least they are giving some of them a job.}

I live on the streets. { unfortunately this is one of the consequences that happens in this monetary system, because it is a system that does not support ALL equally, give to ALL dignity and respect and value for being alive, life expressing itself within and as that one body.}

I live in a foster home. { this too, again unfortunately is one of the dilemma's of the current system where because of problems involving money some children will end up in the foster homes and some eventually with some foster parents. And by the way, here we think and believe that we are solving this problem by introducing these systems within the money system, but CHANGING THE MONEY SYSTEM  itself that produces these problems, we don't even consider.}


I am in the army, they pay good. { now here we are at the lowest degradation we can get, because we are willing to even murder others to get this illusion called money, put ourselves down getting commando's from others to go and kill in the name of our countries or whatever ideology, but as long as we are getting paid, we will do it.}

I am a victim of war. {many many men/women/children will be and continue being victims of war within this current system, because war itself is a way of making money for some people.}

I have a big business. { big businesses are the corporations in this world that are sucking huge quantities of money in, leaving little to very little to the average man that also have to work within this system, not realizing and understanding that there will come an end, because all these businesses exist because there are buyers and the buyers need money to buy things with, thus if there comes a time where they cannot buy anymore, because the corporations themselves have override the buying capacity of their own buyers, they too will perish and go falliet=(bankrupt).

I have a very small business. { Small businesses are little by little closing their doors, because they cannot compete with the large corporations in order to hold their businesses alive so to speak, and again don't forget that people are all brainwashed to only look for ways to "make money." It is all about how can I make money, or more money. What can I sell to make money? We merely never ask the question how can I support life in the best possible way?} 

I am going on vacation. { Within this system when one have money, vacation is seen as a great thing, to leave the workplace for awhile and go as far as possible. What is also very troubling within this whole vacation system is that those with money or living in countries where they have a job and can afford a vacation mostly choose to go somewhere where they can buy more with the currency of their country in another country, this is one of the abuses that are being overlooked within this system. People are always looking for the cheapest tickets, the cheapest hotels, the cheapest everything just so they can save more of their money in their own pockets. Thus going to a country where their currency is stronger than the others is always the primary choice, especially when going far away. Here the power to abuse in money is clearly seen.}

I am staying right here where I live, because I can't go on vacation, don't have money. { Here we are now, where we can invent all kind of ways of transportation but yet again money as the middle man rules, because the resources are NOT being used for support, for enjoyment and learning purposes of our reality, only when one have money can one travel to a distant destination on this planet.}

I eat anything I want. {Yes, with having lots of money and living in a country where food is readily available one can actually say that, one don't have worries anymore about where one's next meal is going to come from.}

I have nothing to eat, I am starving. { unfortunately within this world many people will go through this abuse and unacceptable situation because as long as one have to have money in order to get food and not get food directly from the earth itself for one's nourishment, one will eventually die of hunger and no-one will care nor know. One's death will be on a chart in the form of a number together with the rest of the people that died of hunger where some people will use these charts to evaluate how many people are starving and how extreme or not poverty is at in particular moment, but actually care, we don't. So one's death will be just a topic for discussion as it has been for long time now, either for the one's that want things to continue as they are or for those whom want things to change for the betterment of mankind.} 

I have debts, lots of it. { Debt is the engine of this monetary system, and this very engine always run dead at some point where a new engine is needed, only this time when using the word engine and comparing the situation with a car as I am doing here,.........the roads are all messed up, the car is corroded,lots of destinations that one used to drive to are none existent anymore. Thus even if some wants a war in order to reset the same old system with debt as its engine, the world and the resources are already too exhausted to carry on with the same activities we are involved with/in at the moment, even with very small percentage of humans left and within that, even for them the food and air and water would be poisoned.} 

I have no debts and have lots of money. { No, unfortunately this is also a delusion, because one may appear to have no debts personally and it may be so too, but unfortunately where one lives and the money one uses is always DEBT, if there was no debt one would not even have the money, because all debt will be paid and no more money will exist. Thus the word: "buying" is actually = paying debt.}
  

                                                                        

I was able to go to an university. { Of course again, when one have money and living within such system as ours, going to a university is a piece of cake. The only problem is that the universities are all within fitting the design of the system we live in itself, meaning: " with the current knowledge one will be prepared to move into the system to be effective for the system and university is where one can achieve the highest level of education, thus one is then knowledge-wise and information-wise better equipt to function at the highest levels within the current system. Thus the design of education is to imprison one within the parameters of the current system, getting out of it is almost impossible. And most of the people educated on this level will be the loyalists within the system, and will even defend it, because their reward within the system is much better then the rest of the levels beneath them.}
 
I have no education. { Again with having no money of course education too will be a very challenging thing to get, and this is for this system a "good" thing, because now these people that have no education can go do the jobs that those educated one's do not want to do, the so- called: "dirty jobs/lower jobs." One will find then later in ones life educated people giving speeches and creating programs to help the lower educated people and feel all good about themselves, but yet at the same time some are helping them with good intentions, but most actually are exploiting them to get them to do what they themselves won't do with the simple words as these: " someone got to do these jobs too." This "someone" is never them.
 
I am a scientist. { Who knows how many human children died in third world countries that could have become great scientist and came up with great ideas, but then again at the moment we will never know, because there is this have's and have not's dilemma to deal with and on top of it, there is this whole race problem too in regards to this, that people believe that those whom are poor somehow won't be able to be smart. But how can they know if we have never given them a chance to reach their highest potential, they were born in poverty and will die in poverty as long as this current system we participate in continues to exist.}

I am a simple person, not smart. { being born in poverty many and many will be simple person, but this word: "simple" is actually an euphemism for "stupid." We feel guilty about what we allow and because we don't want to "hurt" the people's feelings and call them directly that they are stupid because of course they cannot afford an education and cannot read and you name it, we will call them "simple." I mean, how bizarre is this, leaving people who needs our support for their own vices just in order for us to feel guilty about it, as if supporting our guilt is somehow a solution? } 

Conclusion:

Thus within this list I have made if one noticed it may appear as if I am blaming some people or all of us but in reality I am giving a sarcastic view of what is really going on within the world we live and what are the things we accept and allow and some things we are thinking but we don't talk about them, and some things we just do and don't care about the consequences they may have, because we haven't gotten to the point where we can see yet what all the consequences of doing or not doing something will lead us into. We all know that this list can be made very very long, but as what I have written here, I find that we all can understand it, because most are things we see within our world or things we know about.

Solution:

The first and most thing that we have to do is look for a way to come together and agree together as to where we want to lead ourselves within this world and we form a bog enough group and from and within this group we appoint individuals whom for now will go and be on the political platform and effect the changes necessary to bring about a change that will benefit all equally. One thing is certain at the moment. We cannot continue like this, because we will lead ourselves into destruction. Therefore have a look at our proposal LIG and join us to perfect it more and more as we go along, because working together as one, will be the only way out of our own accepted and allowed consequences.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

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Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Day 216, Being Nice.

Problem:


Now within this writing i am going to go into finding out why it is i have created myself to be this nice guy that everyone, or at least most people like around them.
It was very early in my childhood that i can remember that i have created this character/personality, because it kept me out of conflict/friction.
Before i created this nice guy character/personality i, by myself was and still is a quiet guy, i don't talk that much and when i do is because i am asked something or i really have something to share, i am mostly introvert as what is being used in psychological terms. As a kid i realized in terms of my survival that being this introverted kid and quiet made me went through a lot of other kids wanting to take advantage of me, in the sense that they thought/believed they could push me around and bully me, which of course they afterwards found out that beneath that quietness was a ruthless/don't give fuck/ready to go to the extreme, in terms of fighting kind of guy. There is another thing too that i have noticed about me when i used to get angry like that, that if i experience pain, thus if i am fighting and someone hit me and i feel the physical pain, that pain ignites more rage within me, like it is food for the rage, and this is what makes the people i am fighting with really scared, because it looks like i don't feel pain and thus i am not going to STOP.

                                                                

I fought 4 times in my life for real and all of these took place when i was in grammar school. And all of them was fights between me and guys that bully others. The first time i found out what i could become when i become angry, was when a guy that loved bullying others threaten me in the classroom, he pointed at me and told me that he is going to fuck me up when school is finished, when we have to go home. Now the moment he said that, this rage took me over, i just lost it, i jumped from my desk all the way over another desk and then jump literally on him and started hitting him with my fist and elbow, hurting him badly that he was bleeding out of his nose and i broke his lips too. But when i was attacking him like that it was like there were mixed feelings within me going on, of hate/rage/anger and also sadness, because i could see real fear in his eyes, and i wanted him to like show me more of that fear, because within me i experienced like; ' if i don't make him fear me enough he will never stop fucking with me, so i am going to show him what  going through fear really feels like.' I was the kind of person that when i get angry i don't care if i am going to die or not, or if i am going to get hurt or how many people i am going to be fighting, i just don't give a damn anymore, i am ready to die in that moment and would really go to the extremes and i don't care where i am.  Thus that day i found out what rage and anger really meant, and it scared the hell out of me, that i could become like that, but that didn't change me yet to become this nice guy, i continued being quiet but not nice, just a quiet ''normal'' guy.

Now i am going to tell the story that really made me change and took this character/personality of a nice guy ever since. It was in the schoolyard and a guy that bully other kids came to me out of nowhere and he said to me: '' if you fuck with me, i am going to kill you.'' These kind of things kids were saying to each other back then already too.  Now to me, this was like a serious thing to say  to me, that you are going to kill me. So i heard it, but i couldn't imagine that someone would really say something like that to someone they don't even know and with such a conviction like they mean business, but just because they see you quiet and think/belief that they can control you and have power over you, they will say these things to scare you, and if you get scared then they are going to abuse you. So i asked him very slowly, but i already became very angry, i felt this rage coming up within me, because i took it as a life-threatening situation, and to me that means, that it is going to be him or me, one of us is really going to die today, so i said:'' WHAT THE FUCK did you just say..??''  And he repeated it of course to try and look tough.  Well the moment he repeated the sentence i just lost it. I grab him by his throad with one hand and lift him literally up and put him against the fence and i said to him: '' well today you are going to understand what it means to die,'' and i just couldn't control this rage that took over me, it was like a complete possesion, i saw his eyeballs turn into his head and they became all wet and red, and he couldn't do anything, he couldn't breathe anymore and other kids that were there started to hit my arm and screaming at me to let him loose, but i just couldn't, and lots of kids started to scream and get all hysterical/emotional about the whole situation and my teacher got out of his classroom and ran towards me and had to really do a lot of work to get my hands off of his throad, he said something to me, that i don't remember that made me come to my senses and i just let him go, and he fell down and gasped for air and was like trying to vomit or something, in that moment when i came back so to speak to my senses, i was very sad, a total regret went over me, i felt really sorry for what i did, because i knew if there was no-one there i would have literally choked him to death. After that day that guy remained in fear of me and also he stopped bullying people.  And this was the day, that i decided that instead of being quiet like i am in my natural state all the time and getting fucked with because of it, it would be better to be nice, act nicely, because back then, when i was a kid, being nice was a good thing, i could see that those that were nice, were always treated nicely and with some sort of respect. So i took that character/personality to hide my quietness behind it, to not get into conflict/friction, so i don't have to kill anyone or get killed by someone. Now in a sense one can say, it is  a ''good thing'' that i have chosen to become this 'nice guy,'' because i could have become this very angry/mean/tough person, figthing other people that bully others all the time too, but back then, i also saw that being tough would still get one into conflict/friction, so i decided to NOT choose that one. I didn't like conflict/friction, i hated it, and tried as much as i can to avoid it, and being a nice guy was a perfect way to go.


Now i am going to work on the dimensions in relation to this problem, and within each dimension i put the self-forgiveness statements as SOLUTIONS, and the self-corrective/commitment statements as REWARDS.



FEAR Dimension:


** Fear of getting bullied
** Fear of loosing all sense of care or compassion
** Fear of loosing it, and killing someone
** Fear of getting killed by someone, before i kill them
** Fear of living as whom i am as a quiet guy
** Fear of  rage and anger within me


Self-forgiveness statements as SOLUTIONS:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being bullied when i was a young boy, and because of this exactly the opposite occur 4 times in my life when i was a young boy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing all sense of care and compassion if i were to become angry and in rage, because what i experienced myself going through for the first time i got in a real physical fight.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing it, and be able to in this state of mind kill someone else, because i saw within me that the fear feeds the rage within me to an extent that i would have killed someone without any remorse at all in that moment i was posessed by this rage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear underneath the fear of killing someone else also the fear of being killed by someone else and both of these fears i use as fuel to be effective in the fight and determine and certain with each blow so i won't make a mistake and get killed.

I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear living as i am naturally as a quiet guy, going about his own business and just being an observer and questioner of his sorroundings.


I forigve myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear rage and anger within me when i found out what they could do to me when i am completely taken over by them.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be controlled and taken over by rage and anger.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be carried away by rage and anger so much so that i would kill someone just to not be killed myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have rage and anger existing within me  as a kid and not dealing with them at all never ever in my life, but only lived to suppress them as being a nice guy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect rage and anger to death, that it means to me that to get angry and in rage i must push all the way through to try and kill someone, otherwise the anger and rage won't go away or STOP.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never understood how it is that anger and rage existed within me at a so higher level as a young boy, because my parents didn't show me that kind of rage and anger ever, so i couldn't understand what these emotions were doing existing within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to instead of investigating the anger and rage, i resolve it in suppression and trying to play the nice guy all the time and avoid any slightest hint of conflict/friction that could result in me getting angry and in rage, wherein i could kill people or be killed by people.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body and body of other people by letting fear/anger/rage control my desicion, where i will be totally out of control and even ready to die/giving up my own life for that matter.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to, when i went into regret that i did not follow fully on changing me as fear/anger/rage, but instead just changed me into a character to avoid getting into fear/anger/rage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that when i get angry and in rage and i experience real physical pain if i am hit, instead of stopping i use that pain as a means to energize more anger and rage within me, to a level that i will not feel the physical pain anymore, and become fully posessed into and as anger and rage.


Self-commitment statements:


I commit myself to investigate more deeply and pay attention to slightest of hints that can come up within me that will make me remember why it is i was so angry and in rage when i was a young boy.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into anger or rage or even a slightest hint that i am going to be angry and because of this anger rage will follow, i immediately STOP, take a deep breath and continue focusing on my breathing till i am clear and stable and don't give the energy within me attention till nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to whenever i see myelf going into or i am about to go into fear that could lead into me becoming angry and in rage that could lead in me getting into a fight that can lead to me killing someone or someone killing me, i just immediately STOP, take a deep breath and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to little by little to workout the fear that is within me to kill someone else or being killed by someone go and self-forgive myself for letting myself accepting and allowing such thing to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I commit myself to stop fearing being whom i am as comfortable within and as my human physical body, which is a quiet type of guy.


I commit myself to little by little investigate myself into and as fear or when some hints of anger accur within me, so i can digg out why i am having them and especially how i am creating them within me and where they are coming from and to what character/personality they are attatched, and in so doing to desolve myself from such emotions that are certainly not what is BEST for all LIFE.

I commit myself to do my utmost BEST to stop acting and trying to be a nice guy character/personality and whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into playing this character/personality out, to just STOP myself and take a deep breath and bring myself back here and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, so that little by little i will be just here breathing as the human physical form that i am without having to play any character or personality.


I commit myself to find out within myself where this anger and rage originated from, because as of right now i cannot see where it orginated from, because i know it was not from my parents, thus that they did something to me that made me suppress my anger.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into or i am about to go into a slightest feeling or anger and rage to immediately STOP myself in that moment directly and take a deep breath and continue doing so till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and if necessary to hold on to something that is physically here so i don't loose myself within my mind as these emotions.



I will continue in the next post on the other dimensions, stay tuned.....................



Thanks.  



Larry Manuela

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Day 132, Going Into The Military..??

There was a time in the past when i was younger that i wanted to go into the military. I was looking at it from the perspective of going into the military and learn some technical skills and get to be doing ''good things'' for people whom were in trouble either in this country or in other countries. Understand that this is the kind of bullshit that is being told to the young people to persuade  them into joining the military, as if it is a great adventure, and besides that, they pay you well to, to become a soldier.

 

 

I passed almost all the tests, but after i have passed the psychological tests and so forth, i had to talk with one of the officers and in that particular conversation he was asking me some questions. Now before i continue, as i was waiting in the big hall for my turn to go in and have the conversation i looked at all the people there and  i noticed the ones that had higher rankings when they were walking in and took a seat, they don't say hallo at all to no-one. They were proliferating themselves as arrogant, and in that moment i just had a good look within myself and i asked myself: '' is this really where you want to be, and with people that are like this..??''

So i went in and the officer started asking me questions and he asked me if i have had any troubles with the justice system and if i have had some fines in whatever matter. Now i remembered then that i did receive a fine from riding in the metro without paying, but they never sent me anything home to pay, so i never bothered asking them either, so i thought that will not be accountable since they never sent me a bill to pay the fine. So i said to the officer: '' no, i have no fines.''  And as i was answering his questions, he was looking in the computer, and he replied: '' you know Mr. Manuela, in the military we don't like people whom are liars, so are you sure you have no fines..???    And i repeat once more: '' no, i have no fines, because in my mind i was sure that the one fine will not be visible anymore since i have never received any bills and it was something like at that time 5 to 6 month later, so in my mind it cannot be in the computer otherwise they should have sent me a bill.  Anyways, he told me, well since you are insisting in lying to us, i must in this moment not let you proceed with this whole test, because in the military we need people whom we can trust and we don't want liars, so hereby you are dismissed.   Well, let me tell you, when i got out of the office to leave that place, i felt a relief, and i said to myself:  '' thank goodness for that little fine,'' because i just didn't felt like that was the place for me to be, i didn't like the attitude of the people at all, it looked all stiff and cold, and the body language showing arrogance--------i just saw myself going to have a lot of problems with these people if i were to be in their midst. Because from my experience with interaction with arrogant people, i know that most if not all arrogant people are people whom always want to be better then others and see themselves as more then others, and i never liked people like this. Because they are very abusive either verbally or physically. The thing that i found out about this whole military bullshit, is that they can get any information about anyone if they like to, if they have your identity information. Because the people whom are dealing with these fines were not the police or something like that, they do work for the state, but it it doesn't fall under the police and legal departments. And even after the whole military tryout, i never got the bill home either from the department till this day, that is like 13 years later, wherein i will be asked to pay my way due fine. So to me that means they can look into systems of other departments and find out about things about you if your name is there very easily, they don't need any chip insertion as people belief/think that are afraid of these things, as all the conspiracy theories out there are trumpet around everywhere....lolll

Self-forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wanted to go into the military because of my adventures attitude that i was living back then, wherein i was not even questioning the whole military complex in it's entirety, i just saw it as people whom will go to prepare themselves to protect their country and if there is trouble in other countries  go and help them, IF they are part of alliance agreement wherein ones particular country is in with other countries.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that dying for ones country or for the good for all people was a great thing and a tough thing to do as it is being portrayed in the military when in reality it is NOT great at all to go and kill anyone and real tough people are people whom want to LIVE, not people whom want to DIE. People whom stand for LIFE, but not by trying to kill LIFE.  I realize that negative things and things that are destructive to LIFE are being seen as tough things and given much more value, when the toughest thing ever is to live LIFE, as one as equal as all as everything as LIFE, right HERE and be self-honest. People will rather kill each other as in killing LIFE, then to give each other LIFE, they will rather fight then to find and agree to live in peace with each other, and the fight will be seen as something very tough, and peace will be seen as weak, so weak that they will even fight and kill each other using the name of peace..... i mean:'' What The Fuck..!! ''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw/perceived/viewed how by just wanting to participate even when the very existence of something like a military alone is beyond insanity, i still wanted to be part of it anyways as i was seeing/perceiving/viewing it as something tough without considering in fact what the fuck i was really trying to involve myself within, and wanted to be part of.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that the military is here to protect me, when real protection is to prevent the killing of ALL LIFE by giving as you would like to receive, which is a giving of LIFE back to LIFE itself, there is NEVER a loss in giving LIFE to LIFE, because LIFE is the REAL support for all that is manifested as itself as LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the military as something honorable to the country and the people in the country, when in reality it is just plain brainwashing to protect the ones in power in the country, and also to execute their power when they need to.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that the military everywhere in ALL countries is in reality an abomination to LIFE, that will never ever honor LIFE, because it's very intention is to destroy LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the propaganda of the military that are going around giving people false hopes and false protection, because with the military one will never reach peace and one will never be protected because it creates more hate in people, and the more hate it creates the more it creates more enemies and have to keep on growing in numbers and in weapon creation. So i realize that with war one will only produce more enemies and NO peace at all as the world is proving and have proven throughout the ages, but still the young people are being brainwashed and their parents approve it either directly or indirectly that it is all o.k. to be part of the military or marine, that it is a great /tough thing to go out and kill other people in other countries that don't agree with the way one live in ones country, with all the none-sense that one belief.

 

I commit myself to show that the military is an abomination to LIFE and also a crime against all LIFE, and should be banned from the face of the earth as soon as possible.

 

I commit myself to show to the young people especially that choosing to go into the military is THE most stupid thing one can ever do, and the greatest crime that one will commit against LIFE, that will  have consequences either HERE in this LIFE or when one dies, there is NO way out for what one accepts  and allows to be done to LIFE.

I commit myself to debunk and expose the military for what it is always, as it is a acceptable crime committed to LIFE where no-one for real is really standing up and saying: '' no more..!! ''

I commit myself to show people whom are saying that they are against the military that they are in truth pro-military, because they are allowing it to exist in their country and allowing their children to participate within it and act as if there is nothing they can  do about it, and even go as far as to say that their children have their own choices, and if they choose to go into the military, it is their choice, when in reality it wasn't a choice, they were brainwashed and are forced through laws and false propaganda to enroll themselves to go into the military.

I commit myself to work with others to bring about a system in this world in the form of the equalmoney system that will STOP all WARS and ALL military world wide.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 46, Mother Earth

We all call Earth MOTHER,but let see if we treat her as a MOTHER for real.

 

 

 

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the word mother to address the Earth when all my time that i have been here on Earth i never truly honored/respected/valued her as my Mother  for i have accepted and allowed her to be raped/pillaged/harmed without ever truly standing up and say it is enough.!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT be a child that cares and have compassion for her mother which is the earth and allow her to be harmed and abused in countless ways through and by myself and my other siblings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see my own body as part of my mother which is of and as the earth, my body is part of my mother the earth.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let all the genocide that is going on in this world on mother earth to all her children, when i can do something about it,but just because i fear what might happen to me, i will NOT act and in so doing, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself be lead by my own  fear and choose to follow my own fear and not stand for life when life is being harmed under my watch, me as a child watching and standing aside and let my mother and ALL her children be abused and harmed for the purposes of superimposition of beliefs. Beliefs like: ''profit-making'' ''control'' ''greed'' and ''money.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to measure my life according to what is in my mind in order for me to live on planet earth not seeing/realizing/understanding how that which is in and of my mind is not in conjunction with how my mother earth is functioning and in so doing i am bringing much harm and suffering to my mother and her countless children, most of which i do not even see as her children and as my siblings.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  to be part of the the problem on my mother earth and not part of the solution, and so doing in every moment i am here on my mother earth as part of her, i am contributing to her being enslaved and to her being abused, to her being harmed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind for purposes of hurting myself as a part of my mother which is the earth, and in so doing hurt all other parts of my mother which is the earth.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place much much more value in my mind reality and less and less or not a value at all in my mother earth, the only value my earth have for me, is the value of how i can make profit with it's parts.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself use parts of my mother herself against her instead of using her parts to support her as she supports me with parts of herself so i can be a physical body as part of her that functions as a truly part of her mother and not as a part that is acting as an alien as if it does not belong here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see that which is in my mind as more important and having much more value then my body that is made of the earth, and see my body that is made of and as the earth as lesser then i belief myself to be, because in my mind i am a ''soul'' and the ''soul'' i belief i am in my mind is not a part of this reality, but some so called: ''heaven reality.'' And this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to treat my mother and the body that is part of my mother as less then the ''ME'' that i see as more then my mother and all her parts.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let my sibling make creations as: ''WEAPONS'' taken out and of my mother and their mother in order for them to KILL other parts of my mother and their mother using parts that they have manipulated and form as ''WEAPONS'' to kill parts of my mother, without ever seeing/realizing/understanding that killing any part of mother is killing yourself to as part of mother because all parts of mother which is the earth is her.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to mine my mother for her resources till she starts to get sick, but still i continue with my insanity because of my belief within my mind that i don't belong here anyways,so i can abuse and harm as much as i like, and see my mother as something that i own, when in reality if i was aware of my body as one as equal as life, i will see that my body is as one of the parts together with all the other parts also as a whole MOTHER earth.

 

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments to life show and walk as an example as what it means to be part of my mother which is the earth so all my other siblings may see and join in start living as real parts of mother and not hurt and abuse and pillage mother, because she is US.

 

I commit myself to stand for life, as life as manifested in the form as MOTHER as the earth has gifted me this body that is of and as the earth so i walk in honor and respect for my mother and life for what i really am and don't take any shit from no-one, NO MIND PERSONALITY whom wants to kill/pillage and abuse MOTHER.

 

I commit myself to show that what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as this nature that is unaware of itself as part of mother that it is possible to change and truly be part of mother and express as part of mother as one as equal and mother, only then my commencement as in CREATING will begin, as of right now, my participation has only been manipulating mother, so i STOP i breathe, and be HERE as part of and as MOTHER,THE EARTH..!!

 

Thanks

Larry Manuela

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Day 33, Not Understanding.

What does it mean to ''understand'' something..??

To me in common sense if i truly understand something, i can then transform it, that would be real understanding. I cannot talk about understanding something and then be incapable of transforming it or changing it, because if i am incapable and i say i understand, then i am making a fool out of myself. Let me give an example, if i understand the workings of my mind, totally, won't i be then capable of transforming it in how i use it, it won't run my life without me being an directive principle in and as it, one and equal.

Self-forgivness:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that by understanding it means me having some knowledge and information about something alone, and this knowledge and information is not applicable in my physical practical living.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think the way we understand things in the way this current world functions is the way to go or continue, when the world clearly project how we are not understanding it and not understanding ourselves within it as our participation is one that abuses and hurt others. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use understanding as in making it in the system only and not as in understanding as in bringing about that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how in using understanding as in the way the system demand it of me, was and is nothing more then to understand just enough for me to function within the system, but to not ever have enough understanding as in to changing the system as when i see that the system is not working in supporting life.

I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see others as in having more understanding then me as in being more then me, or more capable then me, when my reality as the physical world we live in is not something i and anyone else can be proud of, because it is not reflecting an understanding of life, but an understanding of destruction, an understanding of abuse, an understanding of manipulation, an understanding of competition, an understanding in lying, an understanding in being greedy, hence we can see in this world how we are evolving into our understanding of all those things here mentioned and hence within all this create our own devolution as  race.




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not ever study my own understanding regarding how i myself function within myself as to see/realize/understand how i am busy shaping/molding the reality we find ourselves in with the rest that is here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that i never saw how limited my understanding of what life truly is and what living here in this world really meant, but instead has used system-understanding that only benefit system and not life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my limited understanding just for the sake of survival and not expand on it for the sake of life and grown within the limitation of my own understanding within a world of limitation, thus within this having the optimum understanding equal and one within and as the existence of limitation i find myself in and as.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see how my limited understanding of the physical reality has made me create an experience on earth for every living being that is abusive and harmful.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let all of our understanding accumulate into a world system that abuses life in my name.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how my limited understanding of how things really work in this physical world has let to us making all kinds of weapons to destroy what we see as the enemy, without seeing/realizing/understanding  how the one(s) that is(are) the enemy are life just as us, expression of life,so within this we kill and destroy ourselves as life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not at all have understanding of how the system works in order for me to transform the system as me as i stand within and as the system as myself and change me within and as the system so the system is one and equal with and as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how in not having a proper understanding of my own function of  the totality of my mind is limiting me of making a viable change that benefit all life equally, but instead have accepted and allowed myself  to only be limited by a limited understanding of myself and the physical world at large and my participation within practically.


I commit myself to indulge into the proper understanding as in how i function within and as the system that is now placed, and from within this proper understanding transform me as it within it, to be an effective human being that participate in bringing about a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to show others as me that our understanding that we have in this world is not one that is of benefit to life, not one that support life.

I commit myself to walk my process in preparing myself to face all limited understandings that don't support life and expose all of them by standing as the understanding as in that which is best for all life.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela 




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