Day 292, Who am I in relationship with the word: " Fear." Part- 7

Now I am moving to workout the next word that I have placed within the list of words in my first blog about this particular point, which is; 'understanding.'
The next word will be: " Fear."

I place here the link of that first blog about this point where this list exists:

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/02/day-286-what-is-understanding.html



So lets see together here what the dictionaries of the world are saying about: " fear."



                                                   

fear  (fɪə)
— n
1.	a feeling of distress, apprehension, or alarm caused by impending danger, pain, etc
2.	a cause of this feeling
3.	awe; reverence: fear of God
4.	concern; anxiety
5.	possibility; chance: there is no fear of that happening
6.	for fear of , for fear that , for fear lest  to forestall or avoid
7.	no fear  certainly not
8.	put the fear of God into  to frighten
— vb  (foll by for )
9.	to be afraid (to do something) or of (a person or thing); dread
10.	( tr ) to revere; respect
11.	( tr; takes a clause as object ) to be sorry: used to lessen the effect of an unpleasant statement: Ifear that you have not won
12.	to feel anxiety about something
13.	an archaic word for frighten
[Old English fǣr ; related to Old High German fāra , Old Norse fār  hostility, Latin perīculum  danger]

So here I am going to deal with fear, the mother of all emotions. This fear is the basis for feelings to, because from this fear we create the opposite polarities as illusions. Lets say for example someone hide the truth and does not tell the truth because of the fear of having to go through the consequences when doing so which is the negative polarity, and yet looking at the polarity thereof which is the positive polarity, when someone is telling the truth is also out of fear to not have to go to consequences if one should NOT tell the truth. See? So even though one did tell the truth which is being seen as something that is positive, but yet one did so because of the underlying fear of the consequences that will flow out of it if one does not do so.

Thus there is this fear for/of the direct consequence which is being seen as negative. Because it happens when one is already caught up in the lie.
And there is the fear of the indirect consequence which is being seen as positive, thus a positive reason to in this case/example tell the truth. Because in this example one is dealing with a future projection as in what might happen. And to avoid what might happen one is seeing oneself as being a very "good person" by telling the truth.
Within this second one, thus the positive polarity the fear is not seen and experienced as heavily as it is within the first one, the negative polarity, which I find as direct confrontation and direct consequence.
As we all have experienced in our lives that there are certain moments of telling the truth that are also experienced as very fearful, but this is more so in cases when one is about to loose something or loose one's life itself thus can be killed or murdered because of telling the truth. Then the fear becomes a direct fear that is then experienced as negative. Even though the telling of the truth is positive.


I'll suggest one do read the heavensjourney to life blog and these are the following blogs:

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/02/love-and-fear-tug-of-war-day-483.html


In this blog the relationship we have created within our mind to/towards the energy experiences in our minds is being explained and forgiven. It is also suggested to read this out loud when one read all these heavensjourney to life blogs, because in this blog, that level of us that is being walked is the level we cannot see for ourselves yet as being self-aware of these, thus through the reading of these blogs we are planting seeds of remembrance as how we created ourselves in the mind through the body.



http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/character-dimensions-fear-dimension.html


Within this blog here the dimension of fear itself in the mind and physical is being explained and also there is explanation as in how to work it out when one have identified the memories relating to the personality that is holding on to a specific self-interest. So I suggest to also read this one for further assistance and support and many others dealing with fear, because there are many blogs written about this fear and also the dimension of it that exists in the mind and physical.




Self-Forgiveness & Self-commitment statements:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and aloowed myself to not see/realize and understand that fear is the basis of all my decisions I have made and is still making within my living here on this planet, in this world.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into not seeing/realizing and understanding that all my decisions I have made and are still making are based in fear, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that by having the experience of fear as the basis of my decisions makes continue with my participation within the mind and the experiences of energy within and as the mind.


Therefore, I commit myself step by step throug my writing of self-forgiveness and my commit to life, to make sure I walk the necessary steps to come to the actual awareness of myself within and as my mind and the physical as to understand myself within my relationship to this fear that I have accepted and allowed myself to be created by myself within and as my mind conciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect my self-interest as energy within and as the mind by utilizing fear as the basis and master program within and as my mind consciousness system.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into protecting my self-interest as energy within and as my mind consciousness system, I STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am protecting my self-interest as energy, because I need this energy to survive as the personalities I have created within and as my mind.

Thus within this, I commit myself to step by step to identify these personalities and step by step work them out through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life in order for me to reach the starting point of creating them and within this give myself the oportunity to understand myself better and also give myself the gift to stop and change myself into a being that does what is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I have created a whole dimension within and as my mind about fear to protect myself as personalities within and as my mind in order to continue with the giving of energy to the mind.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into not seeing/realizing and understanding that I have created a whole dimension within and as my mind about fear to protect myself as personalities within and as my mind, I STOP----------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that through the creation of an entire dimension of fear within and as my mind I can hide/protect my self-interest as energy in the mind.

Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life in self-honesty to make sure that I walk the necessary steps that needs to be walked to realize myself in relation to this whole dimension I have created within and as myself tp protect my own self-interest as energy. And to make sure I stay HERE, I focus always on my breath when I am doing my introspection to see more of what comes up within me as me as the mind as energy.



Self-Reward:

Within this blog I have seen/realized and understood that the fear I am experiencing within me, I am holding on to them because I am not aware of them on all levels of the mind consciousness system thus not able to understand fear in its whole construction as it exist within as me as the mind as energy. Now that I have more information about how I can detect the memories within myself that lead to the creation and maintance of the whole fear dimension I can work it out more easily.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela

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Day 142, SFS On How Can I Be False Part 3

  I am continuing with my self-forgiveness statements here from the other days:

day 139

day 140 

day 141

 

 

                                                       

Self-forgiveness on memories of the points:

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a memory of someone that was sharing her deepest pain with me, and where i was hearing her, but was not showing any reaction, have made her become angry at me for what she thought/believed, which was; 'that i was not hearing her, or paying attention to her deepest pain she was sharing' and this memory i have stored within me because i felt as if i was guilty by not showing any reaction, and thereafter i acted upon my guilty feeling when i engage into similar encounters or interactions with other people from this one incident or experience, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am busy acting out on a past memory and not taking action as to what is HERE and direct myself in this HERE moment to make a decision to say what i have to say in that moment based on what will be BEST for all participants involved.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a memory of myself when i was just a young boy and that other boys will pick on me,because i was quiet, believing that they can bully me around but wherein they will soon find out that i am quiet but beneath the quietness there was a great storm as anger that i don't understand that exists within me as only the feeling of this anger when i am being challenged,  pops up and i couldn't control it, i will become so angry at what i know is abusive that i will feel no pain, and no fear at all of what could happen to me, like a total anger possession and also having a lot of strength wherein those bullying will go through hell, because i will not stop fucking them up at all if there were no intervention from teachers.  So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let anger be part of me as me and engage completely in it, letting myself get possessed by it where the me that was quiet won't exist anymore but just the me that is now in full rage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be guided and possessed by a memory of me not liking people in higher positions in this world system, because they were always abusive towards myself and others as myself, wherein i will judge all of them as abusive, hence i can never trust any man/woman in higher positions because they will always abuse the ones under them for them to climb up even more on the ladder of success.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a memory of me not liking people bossing me around because it is always about doing what they want and need that will benefit them and not me or others, especially since i am good in physical tasks, and when they see this they want to put pressure on me, because in their eyes they can abuse my physical skill to their benefit to reach higher on top, the normal system norms as usual.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a memory of me finding out on my salary slip that i and everyone else is being lied to and manipulated and conned and paid not as it should be, wherein i became angry and made it my life purpose to find out how they are doing it, to have so many different amounts for different workers that are being paid exactly the same amount per hour and also are working the same amount of hours in a month. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself carry this memory within  me and always measure bosses with according to this one incident.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the memory existent within me as me wherein i feel sad and frustrated,mixed with anger because i have the understanding that it is NOT going to get better in the system and it is NOT going to be the way it was never ever again, no matter how much positive the ones whom belief this get, because the system as it exist now was built on the premise to abuse life only and never to support life, so it has been abusing life for so long and now that there is not much life to abuse and all that is being abused and sucked and consumed are coming to an END, so will the system to come to an slow end, but surely.

 

To be continued......

Thanks.

 

Larry Manuela

 

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