Day 352, Fear of working on myself alone.

Within the previous blog, I have had a realization about myself that I fear working on myself, because of what I might find about myself that I do not want to go through and when I go through it, I would prefer to not be alone all by myself.

I will quote myself here what I wrote in the previous blog:

" I realize that I fear being alone from the perspective of not having anyone to have a communication with, because it will imply to me that I will be and have to deal all by myself with my stuff, thus in actuality fearing having to face myself, or deal with myself all alone."


                                                       

Self-Forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even though I am aware that I go through these subtle fears of facing myself alone as in what I might find within myself that I have to change about myself, or stop about myself, I let the fear of facing myself influence my decision making in a moment, because it serves my personality(ies) I do not want to stop or change right now as in wanting to wait for a few more time before I put them down, or change myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait on myself deliberately, because I am aware that when I wait I do not have to change myself, apply myself thus I wait and I wait, and within this actually I do not change myself all the time in the moments as I have wrote within the commitments I have given to myself as in when exactly I have to stop myself, release myself and than live what I have committed to do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing me, because I am aware within myself that I do have the courage to stand for life and to change myself too, and I am aware that I will be feared because of this and thus I deliberately postpone changing myself in every moment and allow myself to take my own shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse in my mind as backchat: " I am tired of all of this in this world," for purposes of putting myself in a position to manipulate myself in order to not have to change myself in every moment.

I forgive myself that I did not see/realize and understand that the backchat: "  I am tired of all this in this world," is actually in fact me being tired of myself not doing what I am aware I must do to change me, to stop me, to release me in order to bring about a change within myself that have a result/outcome that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subtly try and  manipulate myself to write less, in order to postpone my own change, however deep within myself I am aware that when I do as I am doing right now it stabilizes me and gives me the opportunity to actually face myself and release myself and eventually walk my own talk as I place my words on paper that I must commit in order to change me as I am aware I am NOT living me as a human being that "what is best for life," is my life, is the way I move within and as myself and within and as this world, when "what is best for life," is like breathing, like brushing my teeth, like me eating, like walking, in one word, when it is natural to me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take my process really really serious, because again I am aware that my own change would mean the death of me as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as this world as this personality(ies) I have become to survive as a personality(ies) within and as this world, within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my own change as a threat to myself, as a threat to my existence as a mind personality(ies) wherein I want to live as this/these personality(ies) that actually are NOT contributing to what will be best for my life and all of life on this planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to change from the perspective of my mind, because I am aware that I am my mind right now, and that I fear letting me go as this mind that I have become, thinking and believing that the death of me as this mind-personality is my complete death as all of what I am here, when I am also at the same time aware that I can exist in a moment as my breath within and as one and equal with my breath and that nothing moves within me as my mind, yet still letting fear of stopping me completely in everyone moment ruin my process, prolonging my own change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to get into the nitty gritty of myself within and as myself, because I fear loosing myself, when I am aware that what I will so called "loose," is just what I have become of a mind personalty(ies) .


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent on my mind-personality(ies) to live for me and I living according to what I dictate to myself as my mind personality(ies).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just sit here and ponder about the how I am going to tackle myself just to tell myself as this personality that I am doing something, that I am applying myself when in reality, in real physical movement in moments I am aware that I am not doing that all the time, it is only sometimes, thus within this I forgive myself to not apply myself in the moments that I am aware I must do so, to actually change myself in every moment till it is done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not interfere within my own moments when I see myself falling as in not applying myself as I am aware I must do.


To be continued............................


Larry Manuela

Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.

Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG

Day 244, Positive Findings/Remarks/Feelings regarding attractiveness for a woman/women. Part 2

Now i am moving to the next Dimension, which will be the Thought-Dimension.

Before i start with this Dimension i am going to place here a piece of what i wrote in the previous post:



Self-Reward:


Now that i have identified the specific points/reactions/feelings/memories/thoughts that trigger me to behave in certain/specific way, i can STOP myself in the moments i see myself in them or when i see myself about to let myself get engaged in them, so i become aware of my action and take my Self-Responsibility for my actions and make sure i then move myself to act in the BEST interest of both participants in that moment, and if there are points that are persisting, i can now see them much easier and work them out when i am alone in order for me to correct myself in my daily living application.

Problem:




Thought-Dimension:



***  i picture her in my mind closing her eyes ever so slowly to feel my kisses and my hands touching her body.


***  i have a picture of her in my mind moving her body in the way she does that i like, and i always find it cute.


***   a picture of me touching her skin to feel the softness of her skin.


***   a picture of her skin color appearing in my mind and me just looking at it and get mesmerized by it.


***   I see her coming closer to me and whisper something in my ear, and me liking the sound of her voice, the softness of her voice.




Solutions:



Self-forgiveness statements:



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to picture her in my mind closing her eyes ever so slowly to feel my kisses and my hands touching her body.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use these pictures in my mind in order to built energy within myself of desiring her and as such when i really see her, it will overwhelmed me, making me want to really touch her as in: '' making the picture i had in my mind real.''


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that by letting pictures of her appear within my mind consciousness system i am in fact giving food to my mind consciousness system as the whom i am in this world, more energy to keep on existing as the me i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of her in my mind moving her body the way i like, that i find cute to exist within me as me as the mind consciousness system.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate the WHY it is i am finding her cute, and what i have accepted and allowed within/as myself CUTE to be.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find the way she moves her hands and also her whole body as when she is explaining something to be cute, because it looks like the way she positions her hands and her body to explain what she is explaining is NOT comfortable and in a way it looks funny, and this ''looking funny,'' i find very cute about her.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see in finding a woman cute within me more to have to do with finding her sexually attractive and not just in a pretty/endearing way, but more so that the sexual preference is more dominant within finding her to be cute.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link CUTE to sexual preference and this sexual preference is all about energetic sex within and as the mind as in trying to fulfill some fantasy or desire i have placed as valuable within myself as what i will be wanting from a woman or expecting from a woman, without seeing/realizing/understanding that the fantasy/desire/want is NOT in accordance to what is physically HERE and that it is leaving her out of the equation, that she also may have her own preferences that may or may NOT match with the ones i have in my mind, and thus in this way makes the physical real sex NOT what the mind thought/belief it must be or would be.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use ''finding her CUTE'' as a way to delude myself to maybe/possibly/probably being able to manipulate her into having sex with me to fulfill my own self-created sexual fantasies/desires/wants so i can engage into that which i have placed also as a lot of value within/as myself, which is to have an opportunity to reach an orgasm, or to go through the experience of having an orgasm.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand  that by seeking to experience an orgasm within and as my mind, is all i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world when looking to be with someone else, as i have placed the orgasm point  as an evaluation point, a point of utmost importance when it comes to having sex with another, thus basing my whole sexual action on energy in the mind, and thus how i experience myself with her within and as an orgasm and how i use my human physical body/form to get/extract/suck this energy from.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself touching her skin to feel the softness thereof, as wanting to confirm as what i perceive with my physical eyes is really so, and then when i do feel the softness of her skin, i then instead of leaving it to just that physical feeling of the touch of her skin, i then go through my mind and start coloring it in and make it more than what it actually is in that moment and thus making the physical touch a mind experience/interpretation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that i am manipulating physical touch of our bodies to fulfill my own self-created selfish desires and wishes, as in wanting to make the fantasies/wishes/desires/wants manifested in order to just go through energetic experience through the mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of her skin color appearing within my mind and me feeling mesmerized by looking at it, because i have placed value within this specific skin color, which is white skin-color as what i will find attractive and desirable to me in relation to her.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand  that forming an opinion and having a belief about what i see with my mind consciousness system through my human physical eyes is NOT what is real and HERE as that which is actually physically manifested as forms, in this case her human physical body/form's skin-color.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of her coming closer to me and whisper something in my ears, and me liking the the sound of her voice, the softness of her voice.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced sexually by the softness of her voice.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get aroused by hearing her soft voice, because i have created a belief within me that a woman with a soft voice gets more sensual when having sex and the moaning and groaning is more soft and i have placed self-interest value in sensual SEX enormously.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link ''softness of her voice'' to moaning and groaning during sex, because it gives me a feeling of power that i can make someone else feel wonderful and that they even make sounds because of it, thus boosting my self-interest even more.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define moaning and groaning to having a great feeling inside that it even arouses me more, more then the actual sex itself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place more value and importance to only one physical expression of the human physical body/form which is the voice, and focus more on that one than the whole of the body/form.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse the expression of voice as the sound the body makes during sex to energize myself even more rapidly and reach more easily an orgasm.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to through the sound the body makes during sex to sabotage myself into creating more energy within myself to reach an orgasm, because i have placed more value in reaching and having an orgasm than doing the actual sex itself, that sex is just a means to get to the orgasm and that is it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place value in orgasm as the ultimate feeling thingy, when in reality it is the reward i have given myself when i have sucked/extracted SUBSTANCE from my body to transform into energy, thus literally enjoying killing myself little by little every time i have an energetic orgasm through and as the mind.





Self-Commitment statements:



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into making pictures in my mind, I STOP--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i make these pictures appear within me to built more energy of desire to/towards her, and than when i actually meet her i become even more excited because i interpret the seeing her as me having made the picture real within and as my mind.

Thus within this, i commit myself to when i see her to before any movement happen/occur within me to start taking deep breaths and when i am in front of her and if there are movements to immediately say STOP to myself and make sure i do not participate in my own mind delusions, and make sure i move myself into another room or just take a little walk somewhere or just invent anything in that moment that is a physical movement and if this too still does NOT help in that moment i see than that i have to do more self-forgiveness on that point to see what i have missed that is still making itself presence within me as me as my mind consciousness system.



I realize that i am by/through creating pictures of her within/as my mind consciousness system i am in fact securing my existence as this mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.


Therefore, I commit myself to little by little to STOP doing this and work out this point more and more through self-forgiveness till there are none within me existing and i am just HERE  breathing with her as two bodies on earth and of the earth being together, expressing themselves as manifested LIFE-Expressions.


when and as i see myself going into finding her CUTE within and as my mind consciousness system, I immediately STOP--------- I take a deep breath or many deep breaths till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that what i find cute about her is because of the preference of have placed within myself in linking the word CUTE to the word SEX, thus finding her cute means to me, i want to have sex with her, or that cute can lead me to sex with her.

Therefore i commit myself to Re-define this word ''CUTE'' to a word i can live practically, thus instead of finding her sexually attractive or pretty and endearing, to only use the word cute within and as myself when and if i am actually having sex together with her and make sure that it is a SEXUAL expression and NOT energetic SEX through the mind and instead of liking her through the mind as pretty and endearing, i transform that into exploring together when touching her body what it physically feel to me and in by doing this it stays in as an actual understanding of two physical bodies being together in a moment.



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into seeking an sexual experience as in an orgasm through my mind, I immediately STOP. I take a deep breath or many deep breaths, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i have placed utmost value into the experience of energetic orgasm through my mind, then the actual SEX expression of myself as my human physical body/form when with another.

Thus therefore, I commit myself to little by little to walk this point step by step to get out of this value-system i have placed/created within myself and put in its place actual real SEXUAL expression as the whom i am when having sex with another, thus when i am having sex, i make sure to stick to my breathing during sex and to be watchful of any movement within me and if there are movements within me to deliberately STOP having sex, even if it means that my penis will get flat, but to take that moment to only breath till nothing moves within me and to find out by slowing myself down through my breathing what these movements are and what i want to achieve with them and when i find them i do self-forgiveness out loud or i write it down to clear these within me and only after i am totally clear within myself we can continue or start again with having sex with each other.


When and as i see myself trying to interpret the touch of her skin, I immediately STOP,--------------- Take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till in am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am using my mind interpretation of what touch means to me in order to manipulate the actual real physical touch, so i can get my energetic experience through the mind as IF i have rewarded myself because i have now touched the real thing itself, trying to confirm/validate my own mind interpretation ABOVE that which is actually REAL which are; 'the two physical bodies touching each other in that moment.'


So within this i commit myself to work out these mind interpretations that are lurking for an experience within me as i see that i have created them for the purpose to experience energy, and instead get REALLY Real when i touch another body and to only focus on the touch itself without interpreting the touch, and by this IF there happens to be a movement within me when i am only touching the body i say out loud to myself STOP! and investigate what exactly that movement was and what i want with it and what are the benefits of doing so and to write all this out through self-forgiveness till the day will come that when i touch, i just touch and feel the physical feeling of touching without any mind interpretation.


When and as i see myself using pictures of her skin-color in my mind to mesmerize myself, I STOP,-----------------  take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i let myself get mesmerized by my own self-created belief-system about skin-color and place sexual undertone about this as a means to generate more energy within myself through extracting/sucking SUBSTANCE and transform it into energy, that i experience as feeling.


Thus within this I commit myself to work out this belief-system i have created within myself about skin-color and make sure to investigate in every moment i am in her presence to see if there are any movements within me about seeing her skin-color and IF there are movements, i immediately say: ''STOP!'' to myself out loud and investigate the movements through my writing in that moment if it is possible and if not possible in that moment to make notes of the movements and work them out when i am alone by myself and do this till the day will come that i do not have any reactions within me when she is in my presence and i see/look at her skin-color.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into having a picture of her whispering something in my ears, I STOP,----------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i have placed value/importance in one expression of the body, which is; ' the voice,' because i am using/abusing it to Reward myself with the ultimate energy experience which is: '' ORGASM.''





Self-Reward:



Now that i have seen/realized/understood what i am doing forming pictures, thus thoughts in my mind i can identify them more easily when they appear within me and i can take them to the point of their origin so i can delete them and purify myself through self-forgiveness and be clear and stable. Thus when i move physically, i move without interpretations/views/beliefs/concepts within and as my mind, i am just HERE breathing as a human physical body and that's it.




Thanks.



Larry Manuela

Join us at: DESTENI

Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world, and i mean ALL: EQUALMONEY

Support our research and by one or more of our educational products that will surely blow your mind:   EQAFE

Walk yourself out of your illusion back into the physical LIFE substance through using the tools in this course: DIP

Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Day 160, When Happiness Turns Into Sadness Part 2

So here i am going to walk the dimensions of fear in self-honesty so i can resolve the issues within myself and you the reader can see how you can resolve yours to.

                                             

This is what i wrote yesterday:    http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-159-when-happiness-turn-into-sadness.html


So what are my fears within all this story, let's have a look..??


Fear dimension:



* Fear or loss

* fear of not being able to communicate with my son

* fear of what he might become if i am not an influence in his life

* fear of him turning his emotional turmoils into destructive behavior to/towards himself and others as himself


* fear of my son being brainwashed into any culture in this world, for they are all serving one purpose and one purpose only, and that is to separate one from another.

* fear of my son loosing himself in his mind, and never be able to birth himself as life as the physical, because he is far away from me and i cannot have any influence in his life for him to see that the way we live with each other is unacceptable and that he is the one, like everyone else that HAVE to change in order for all of us to change the world. We are the participants in this world that make the world the way it is, so as participants in inequality now, we must change our living with each other into EQUALITY, where LIFE is honored and NOT the opinions we have about life.





Self-forgiveness:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing  my son to exist within me as me, because i know within myself that when he is far away, it will be more difficult for me to see him and hear from him, and this add to the consequences as when something happens to him mentally or physically i will not be able to assist and support him using common sense reasoning for him to realize what the heck is going on and why it is he is feeling the way he feels, because no-one else with him will be able to do this, because they just don't know, don't understand these things, they are as lost as he is. Lostness can only teach lostness.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the fear of not being able to communicate with him to exist within me as me, for i know my son listen to me, because he is very attached to me, as i can already see, that even in the little moments i spent with him and i say things to him that make sense, he never forgets and always wants to proof to me through doing his best at whatever that he have me in his mind, something i don't really approve of, because within this he is learning to depend on his feelings instead of learning to walk within and as his human physical body and be one and equal with and as his human physical body and his breath.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear what could become of him when i am really far far away from him, because i know he is an emotional kid, something that is NOT the way one should be living by in this world, and measure ones reality according to it, for it is NOT what is physical and HERE as LIFE. I realize that this what i write here is very difficult for others to understand, because others see and believe themselves to be these feelings/emotions/thoughts, because this is all they ever were and experienced themselves as, and have used to walk the earth as: ''the whom I am.''  So within this i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to have patients with others as myself as i am aware that they do NOT understand what i understand as of right now.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my son will turn his emotional turmoil into destructive behavior to/towards himself or others as himself for he will not know how to deal with these. Within this i realize i see three secnarios that can play out in his life because of being an emotional kid............ 1) He can by being emotional about things start to question things in life, because of this, because this is what happened to me to, when i was a kid, i was also emotional as he is now..............  2) He can by being emotional about things start to fight the emotions themselves within himself and also become someone who is always looking for troubles and.......3) even can become a bully or someone that becomes a person that everyone just walk on.   So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my son using what is within my memories as what are happening and did happen in this world to myself and others as myself as an example for what could become of my son, without seeing/realizing/understanding that all of that is NOT what is HERE now within and as the physical as the body of my son that is HERE within and as this physical reality and that this is just my own mind projection i impose on him and this whole physical reality.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my son will be brainwashed to accept any culture in this world as being part of the whom he is, because i am aware that to have a sense of belonging to any culture in this world means that one accept and allow separation to exist within oneself and within the world at large, and as long as there is separation there cannot be ONENESS AND EQUALITY, that which is BEST for ALL life.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my son will not be able to birth himself as the physical, because i will not be having as much as a communication with him in order for him to HEAR common sense reasoning, and he will be lost in his mind with all the people around him that are just like him personalities in a mind, that are using logic and opinions, which points are NOT to be trusted as measurements for life. Within this i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that whatever happens within my son as energy that it will be his own doing and he will have to take his self-responsibility for that, and that i can only assist and support him in that by helping him develop his common sense reasoning so he can for himself what is REAL and what is NOT and choose than what is REAL,which is that which is this physical reality and NOT his mental garbage that is the thoughts/feelings/emotions/opinions/judgements/internal conversations/energetic reactions/back-chats/imaginations/projections/needs/wants/desires/believes.


So within this i forgive myself that i haven't seen/realized/understood that i am being selfish in regard to my son, by having future projections about him within myself as wanting/wishing for him to birth himself as the physical right HERE as his human physical body, for i am aware that this is NOT my decision and is and will be only his, and his alone and from no-one else for each stand alone in this, they are either going to choose life or abdicate life for an illusion as the mind.


Tomorrow i will continue with self-commitment statements in relation to these self-forgiveness statements...............



Thanks.


Larry Manuela




Join us at: DESTENI


Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world in the form as: EQUALMONEY


Support our research and buy one or more educational products that will for sure blow your mind, at: EQAFE


Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world: DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Day 68, Sadness

Now let's have a look at this word. ''Sadness''

what does it mean for real to be sad...??

When is someone Sad..??

Why is someone sad..??

what are the ingredients for someone to be sad..??

 

 

Now in the word English Dictionary ''sad'' is this:

 

sad  (sæd)
— adj  , sadder , saddest
1.	feeling sorrow; unhappy
2.	causing, suggestive, or expressive of such feelings: a sad story
3.	unfortunate; unsatisfactory; shabby; deplorable: her clothes were in a sad state
4.	informal  ( Brit ) ludicrously contemptible; pathetic: he's a sad, boring little wimp
5.	(of pastry, cakes, etc) not having risen fully; heavy
6.	(of a colour) lacking brightness; dull or dark
7.	archaic  serious; grave
— vb
8.	( NZ ) to express sadness or displeasure strongly
[Old English sæd  weary; related to Old Norse sathr,  Gothic saths,  Latin satur, satis  enough]

 

So as you can see, the definition of this word ''sad'' is all related to what goes on within oneself as an EMOTION, how one feels..!!   Why is this important..??

I am questioning if the emotion of being ''sad'' is necessary and relevant in this world and in reality..??  Does it change what is going on or what will happen, when it is happening..??   So why is something we feel so important and not only important but MORE of importance to what is HAPPENING itself for real, when it has to do with us taking action or not..??   Why would we rather ''FEEL''  sadness but yet not STOP ourselves within that which is ''sad'' in this world..?? It is like we are giving in into the contentment and acceptance and allowance of the ''feeling of sadness''  Like showing/presenting the sorrow, and the unhappiness that one experience within oneself as if this is what will make one appear as if is taking action, and in so doing be someone who cares or have compassion. All these i asked myself when i were sad.  Is my sadness a decoy that i have accepted and allowed myself to go through, to use so I don't have to take my responsibility and stand up and change ME into a being that truly, practically/physically/in fact does what is BEST for all LIFE...??  Why do i fear taking my responsibility for all LIFE, THE most important thing EVER...!!!   Why does my feelings make me abdicate my responsibility to that which truly supports me HERE, in this world,in this reality, in this existence,which IS LIFE, and not just ME, but all that is here as in LIFE and of LIFE, as ONE and as EQUALS..??

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, when i look at the poor people in this world, and NOT do anything about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i looked at the people whom are drugging themselves away into their own destruction, hurting their own bodies, and not do anything about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i looked at the bump in the streets and not do anything about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i looked at the people praying their asses of, for some self-interest stuff, when i know through/within myself that they will not act practically to bring a change in this world for real, and not do anything about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad for the people in WAR, either as soldiers, or as victims of war, the ones that are killed as the ones that are innocent, without doing nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, when i looked at pictures and movies that show the reality of starvation and yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at woman in prostitution and even participate in buying into prostitution and feel sad about it, but yet not doing anything about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at people whom are working hard to ''earn'' a living in this world and feel sad about it, but yet do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look at my son, and know within myself that if I do not stand for life now, i know his future will be fucked for what i have accepted and allowed to be here while i am here, and feel sad about it, and yet do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i look at all the children in this world, because i know that unless I who have realized that if i Don't change ME as an participant in this system and then stand within/ as the change within this system their chances to have a life on this planet is nihil,and yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i look at how we as humanity are treating the other life-forms as the animals, the plants and bugs, and yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the struggle of survival all in the faces of women and men, and know that it is the system that i am supporting, that is NOT supporting them nor ME, nothing that is as/of LIFE, but yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, when i watch a sad movie that tells a true story where abuses and rape and all kinds of atrocities are portrayed and showed, but yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, when i look at politicians in this world doing whatever it is in their power to save the SYSTEM, but yet not LIFE, and yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i look at people living in houses that i will not even call a house, that i will not want to live in a situation like that myself, but yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i look at people from different races hating each other for their skin colors, or for their culture, or for their so-called traditions, or for their beliefs, but yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, when i see people fighting each other just because of anger, of hatred, of jealousy,of competition, for control.......but yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand how in all my sadness i had/have  had for people and things in this world i really never felt sad for LIFE itself, how i saw how separated i was and is of LIFE itself where it has not even the value in my eyes where i can feel even sadness for LIFE, that which really supports me in EVERY way..!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when i look at mothers caring in vain for their children, when their caring will not lead to a world for their children to live in peace, but yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad for the rich people in this world when i look and them, for they will do whatever it takes for their belief system as MONEY to continue,just because in the belief system of MONEY they are the ones that are on the safe side, forgetting totally how life is supporting even them that does NOT support LIFE equally,and yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad for famous people in this world, for they will do anything to keep their fame intact, but yet will NOT do anything to support LIFE itself, and yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad for people that make music and movies that are NOT supporting life, but are only supporting a belief system as MONEY, where just a few are protected and the majority are NOT, but yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad how we as humanity have come to invent something we called ''economy'' that was supposedly to support LIFE of beings, but yet it has turned out to be that which is abusing lives of beings, and yet i do nothing about it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be sad, for when i saw within myself that all the meditations and philosophies i have ever partake into have never ever done anything that is of support to that which is of UTMOST value, and this is that which is: ''LIFE''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energetics of my mind,where such things as ''sadness'' have reign and influence through my own acceptance and allowance of it, to rule over my decision making, instead of ME taking my directive principle and act in ways that are always BEST for ALL LIFE.

 

I commit myself to through my writings, self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE to show that emotions like ''sadness'' are in truth irrelevant when it comes to us taking real practical actions that will support LIFE, in ALL way, always..!!

Thanks.

Larry Manuela.

3D character animation borrowed from:  http://char-anim.blogspot.nl/2011_02_01_archive.html

Join us at: DESTENI

Have a look at the solution to our world problem and cast your vote, on the goals and principles: EQUALMONEY

 

Support our research through buying one or more of our educational products and at the same time our life-foundation, that will support everyone in the future: EQAFE

Become one that will stand for LIFE, but don't know how yet..?? well here is your chance: DIP