Day 45, Beliefs.

Now, here we are talking about something that in this world among humanity is so so so important and of much value. Humanity have a ''belief'' within their minds that what they belief is real, never ever questioning how it come that their own living is NOT a belief, how LIFE is NOT a belief, but yet they will measure their own living upon that which is their own self-created Belief. This belief point is going to be one of the points that will be very difficult for many to self-realize themselves as in how and why it is NOT real. All their lives was interpreted as a belief. You start by believing your parents, then believing your teachers in school, and believing your peers, and then believing those whom your parents see as people who know better about the particular belief(religion/spirituality) they support or hold as true according to their particular experiences and interpretations in their own world and society, which they upon themselves also got it from their parents and so one and so on..... This whole brainwashing is never questioned.

 

 

 

So now again here we are living in a world, but not really living and we are superimposing our beliefs upon the world, like for instance: ''money'' which is/was a belief, an idea in peoples minds and we give it life so to speak, and now look at it, it has become more then it's creator, it's creator is now it's slave. Be quiet here and see this in common sense. And for every belief we need to use the physical substance to make it real and the physical substance itself that we are using to create the belief with is being totally abused and raped and missed/not seen at all. And when it is seen it is in the form of consuming it, to make profit out of it..!!!

Let me give a simple example. There is this belief that there is a God and the ones believing this got it out of books from those that went before them, that also got it out of books or out of storytelling which is the same thing by the way, you tell it as a story vocally or you write it as a story that exists in your mind as memories, but a story it will still be. Now the book what it consists of and exist as, is real and the words(coming out of your mouth as sounds are also real and part of this reality) of what they consists of and exist as, as in the ink are all real manifested physical substance, but the what is being conjured up from your mind to be put in the books and the ink you use to write the thoughts and to put them into this reality ''the mind garbage'' is what is NOT real. I know this can also still be not clear to you, but let me give another example. I can think that i am on the moon, something we will call imagination,and that many hold as very dear in this world, now when i am busy imagining myself on the moon, is my body on the moon, am i on the moon or only in my imagination...?? But if i write this imagination down, it will still be an imagination, but now i have used what is real to explain or show my imagination, like the paper i will write it on, and the pen i will use with the ink in it to write the imagination down. but yet i am here sitting on my desk in a room on planet earth and NOT on the moon. Now this imagination thing here, in many humans is so important that they will not honor nor respect nor see that their human body is HERE and that it is real nor will they see anything else that is here as real, they will do anything to make this imagination looks real and be experienced in the minds of others as if it is real. And when the superimposing it happens on the physical reality it harms it, because it is not in alignment with what is here and with how things work on a physical level.

Now let us move to our companions here on earth, the animal kingdom and the plants, the whole nature, i wonder if anyone with beliefs have asked the simple question if these companions have ''beliefs'' Is it necessary for them to express themselves as manifested physical expressions as LIFE..?? Do they go about expressing themselves as what they really are on grounds of a belief or do they just express themselves as what they are according to their program/structure functionality...??? Many will argue here, but you can't make an comparison like that. Well i can, because these are all manifested physical living expressions, just like your human physical body,Your human body itself as it functions is not functioning based on a belief, with this i mean the cells and all the organs and you name it, they are following a pattern, a program. So how come they are living/existing without beliefs and are even more benevolence then the human(consciousness/mind)..?? They don't go around destroying earth, robbing the earth, and make war with each other, but the human does and all of the wars are backed by beliefs, whatever they may be, like for example; ' believing that one is more then the other or better(civilized) or smarter so deserve to have what the others got in their countries and go and manipulate them or go and kill them to get it or believing that what one holds dear as one religion or spirituality is true and is better then the other so you don't deal with the others and you see them as enemies, or people you don't associate with. You will just tolerate them to a certain level, but when the topics of what you belief comes up, you will see how you are NOT interacting with them as living manifested physical beings, but as personalities with a belief. Belief that you are powerful, more powerful then the others so you deserve to live and not them, that you are blessed somehow when your life is working for you but not for the others, they are not blessed and in this giving yourself a sense of being favored by this god in your mind and deserving more. The others apparently not, their lives is  total mess, a total fuck-up, they are on the loosing end of this polarity game that is going on in humanity in this world. Most are not even questioning how it comes that their god in their minds is protecting them who already have things and those whom really really need protection are not being ''blessed'' by this god, when they should be the ones needing it the most not those whom their lives are all fine/o.k./good. etc etc..............................All the wars are based on beliefs in some form or another. But yet with all these problems with beliefs,and the facts that they are not supporting life but instead are harming and abusing life,separating us from ourselves and each other as life, still people will choose their beliefs and give it MORE importance and honor/validation/relevance then LIFE itself. They will talk about their beliefs as if it is sooooo important and not LIFE itself as THE MOST important, and when they do talk about life as being important it will be within the context of what it means within their beliefs, so from the starting point of their beliefs itself and within that, what it means for them based on their beliefs, and NOT from life itself, as what they are as a physical human being. If you don't get what i mean here, i am going to give you an example. Lets say you belief that there must be a god and that this god ''created life.''   So now if i ask you if LIFE can be created, you are going to answer me based on what you belief which is what i wrote there as an example that ''god created life''  So this means that you belief that there is some greater and more powerful an almighty being who is BEYOND life itself and that even could ''create life''  But you will not see at all that whatever you will conjure up will be coming only from your mind, your beliefs in your mind, it is NOT your body that is telling you this..!!! It is NOT your breath that is telling you this..!!  It is NOT your world/planet that is telling you this..!!  It is NOT the universe that you find yourself in that is telling you this..!! Nothing that is constituting your living/LIFE HERE on planet earth is telling you this.  Now all these that i mentioned are HERE, but that thing(your belief/thought as example: ''god created life, or give life'') is only real in your own little mind it is NOT part of this reality, this universe, this galaxy, this solar system,this planetary system, this human system as your body, it is only ''real'' in your mind and is true there alone nowhere else but there. You will look at all these manifested life expressions and say god created all this,because of your limited understanding of how it can exist. But this ''god creating all this'' is only in your mind. And you don't have any proof whatsoever that this god and that is, IF this god exists or not that ''he'' created all this, let alone the how ''he'' did it and then hide ''himself'' who knows where and NOT take ''his'' responsibility for ''his'' own creation. But yet these people will measure their lives with and according to their beliefs and see it as a point of reference that they ''need'' in order to LIVE a fruitful, benevolence, harmless LIFE, when all the while LIFE is right here in every breath, but they don't see that, because they are lost in their beliefs, their lives have now been made dependent on their own beliefs for them to express themselves based upon that, and NOT LIFE expressing itself as LIFE manifest as this physical existence. If you are reading my words here that are written using in common sense, understand it is time for you to WAKE THE FUCK UP..!!! Drop your beliefs(ALL of them) and start living and you will see for yourself that life is not dependent on anything but itself, life needs only itself to be what it is, expressing itself in zillions of ways and manifestation some of it you will not even see it as life, like for example the wind/air or a stone or a cloud, or the structures of forms.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to consider and even hold in very high regard my beliefs as being MORE then LIFE itself when i know for sure that without LIFE i cannot LIVE, and within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a belief that there is something or someone beyond life and that is not life it created life, so meaning that life came from something else and have a beginning thus will have an end.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be brainwashed by my parents, my peers,my teachers,religious leaders and political leaders to take knowledge and information as in the form as beliefs as more important then LIFE.

 

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to question my own beliefs in relation to my physical reality in common sense to see if what i belief is valid or not and if it is in alignment with my physical living or not.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to squandered life in the pursuit of a belief, in wanting and pushing my belief in order for me to be right in my mind, not realizing at all that being right or not right in my mind has nothing to do with life, but it can affect life if it is NOT one and equal to LIFE and in this becomes a harm and abuse to LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be an participant in allowing the monetary system to exist as it exist today without me ever wanting to change it, STOPPING it together with others, because i know that such monumental task needs the participation and support of all that is here for it to be a manifested reality as in the form of EQUALMONEY that will set us free through and by ourselves.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to my mind reality then to my physical reality and within this abuse the physical reality for the mind reality to continue existing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall in my own self-created belief that beliefs are necessary/relevant in order for me to LIVE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to limit my own living by making and basing my living on a belief, making sure within my own mind that my life will forever more be dependent on and influenced by what i BELIEF and not by how i express myself as one as equal as life, me living for real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a concept of a god within my mind and never question how i arrived at this concept being part of my memories in my mind, how is it that it is there as memory and how come i cannot access it and see in detail how it was placed and stored in my mind as memory that i will use later on in my life to validate and perceive and interpret my reality based on it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place the god concept above my life and thus also all others life and in this way live to abuse and harm to the physical reality that is here by either participating directly or indirectly in the form of acceptance and allowance as IF there is nothing i can do about it, and put all the responsibility in my prayers where i will ask this god in my mind to do something, because i myself is to little and insignificant to stand up and join others who are also standing up to for real bring about a world that truly if practically what is best for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realise/understand how my beliefs are sprouted out of fear, my fear of death and underneath all of that there is another greater fear that no-one really talks about it or some even seeing it as a fear, and that is the fear of LIFE of LIVING, expressing LIFE, because each know that really truly living in this world will mean you will be the enemy of the system, the system don't want expressive living being expressing themselves freely and growing and expanding and learning in common sense living, but wants and needs SLAVES to work keeping the system of greed and manipulation and abuse going.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments to show as a walk my process to be an example that beliefs are not necessary and that beliefs are not LIFE.

I commit myself to try my utmost best to explain to each one who wants to know how beliefs are not real but illusions of grandeur in our minds, the only place where beliefs are possible.

I commit myself to prepare myself to when the time comes and humanity is ready for the message of oneness and equality to take my stand and stance in explaining it in utmost detail and simplicity and specificity so all may see/realise/understand what oneness and equality, that which is LIFE truly means.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 44, Schooling.

What is it about schooling that we see as important or let me put it like this; ' who told you, and why do you belief it, that in order for you to function as a human physical body, you need schooling..??'

 

 

 

 

 

What is it that you are being taught in schools and universities that have contributed in to the growth and expansion and truly learning of humanity..??

Have a look at the outcome of what has been produced by the past generations of humans, and ask yourself if this is a growth, an expansion, or a learning...???

Did we evolve as is being accepted in most societies in this world, and what are the criteria for growth and expansion and learning/gaining understanding..??

If i see that for example in war, there is only destruction of life, and if i learn,and i mean really really learn from it, will i repeat it...?? Did i grow from the first experience of war, one of the methods used to/for the destruction of life, and out of that growing am i now expanding into a living society that is not in war anymore, but are at peace and is really living: ''loving thy neighbor as thyself..??''

Well we all know that this is not so, we are brutally killing each other and lots and lots of other lifeforms, destroying our very home that gifted us the opportunity to thrive here and get to experience life as physicality. But do we care about our home, do we even see it as our home and respect it as such, or we just say these lovely sayings just to say something nice...???   Why are we not being responsible beings, let me rephrase that: '' why are we not being responsible persons.??''  Because ''beings'' we are not yet, we use this word for our convenience but it is not a word that we live, as with just one example as WAR, on this alone one can already see how many BEINGS are being killed, so if we were understanding and really knowing our beingness, we as one of the forms of beings, will not be destroying other beings, because we will understand that all forms of beings are all forms of beingness, beingness in forms.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed under another name as in ''Schooling'' and/or ''education.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that only through knowledge and information based on observations through my mind will i be able to understand me and my reality that i find myself in, when in this i can see that i still with all the knowledge and information available don't know how/why/who/where/what i am, and within this clearly expose to myself that knowledge and information will not make me truly understand the who i am, because the who i am, has to be understood in common sense and in self-honesty. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that gaining more knowledge and information will make me understand the who i am, when in reality the more i participate in it, the more apart/separate of the understanding of the who i am i get, and the more self-dishonest i become.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that schooling as in education truly meant something in life, but instead only mean something to rape life off with, something to be used to manipulate life with as it exists in this world.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how in my participation in the education system of this world, i am accepting and allowing all that is abusive to exist within this world, because my education as i accept it to be, has not been giving me sufficient practical common sense usage to see when i am not supporting life, but is abusing it and even using the very education to do so, and in this STOP and correct myself in my participation in the destruction of life and live to support life as myself as all as one as equal.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that it is not so much the education that is a failure, but me myself within it as it, because without my support and participation within it as it exist it will not exist as it exist, so the education is part of the who i accept and allow myself to be/become.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to rely on knowledge and information and not on my life and my human physical body and the countless other physical bodies for me to truly learn, expand and grow as a living being on this planet in oneness and equality, always doing what is best for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never question what it is i was busy learning or being educated in, and just accept it as if those who are teaching me know exactly what they are teaching, when the reality is that they are not teaching out of practical living, but out of theoretical living/mental living. The way we live with each other practically in this world is proof enough that education have failed to teach to be practical.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand how education was/is never about the real practical living, and what is best for all life practically. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to utilize education in some areas of practicality that only serves the best interest of myself and the system of greed and control that is in place.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into knowledge and information without practical application to be as very valuable when the world is the proof that it is NOT, because it is unable to value life as the ONLY REAL value that exists.

 

I commit myself to show through writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments that education as it exist, is not something to be trusted because it is not giving the honor and value to LIFE, but to a system, and not just any system but a system of DEBT, HARM, ABUSE,MANIPULATION,DECEIT,CONTROL,GREED.

I commit myself to walk as an example in exposing the education that is supporting the system as it exist now, till all can see/realize/understand for themselves that the education indeed does not support LIFE..!!

I commit myself to make a stand within this system that i have accepted and allowed to be here and change myself within it as myself and in so doing together with others change the whole system as a whole as us.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 43, Norms And Values

Now, this title of my blog that i am about to write about, is in this country and many other countries a very hot topic and point of discussion within political parties and their affiliations. But when we take a closer and critical look at this BULLSHIT we will see that none of us ever can talk about these ''norms and values'' because we never really LIVED norms and values. What we now see as ''norms and values'' are all culturally-related, economically-related, religiously-related, financially-related, belief-based-related, but never ever LIFE-RELATED.

 

 

 

 

As long as LIFE is not the only real value and that all norms are sprouting out of it, nothing else is of value and should be considered a norm.

That is why laws/rules/regulations can exist where you can be put on the streets if you don't have the money to pay your rent, this means what...?? It means that the thing you are paying with, which is money has gotten more value then your life, and the house or apartment you're living in also, because you as LIFE is not valuable enough to live in it. And this is what you and i have accepted and allowed to be here, we are all responsible for this bullshit.Now within the current system, all this is being seen as ''normal'' meaning; ' it is normal that if you don't pay or have money to pay, you get thrown out of the house or the apartment, it is so ''normal'' that even the ones being thrown out see it as ''normal'', and ''acceptable''. '

That is why we have laws/rules/regulations that protect those who have more money more then those who have less or very very little money or NO money at all. why..?? because all of us together have managed to give money value, and never LIFE. So what happens..?? Money is the norm of the society, and this money as norm within it's laws/rules/regulation it is written that every citizen must obey it's rules of making everyone PAY and be in DEBT from birth till death.

That is why we can have pornography on television and all the prostitutes in the streets and in whore houses,and justify it that especially MEN, needs to get their needs/wants/desires taken care of because they might go out and harm and abuse some woman because their drive for sex is out of control.

 

That is why we can walk into supermarkets and even alcohol-stores and buy alcohol and drink alcohol at parties and talk about how great of a time we are having while being drunk with alcohol.

That is why you need health insurance, or better said you need to PAY for you to have it, your health is dependent on how much money you are going to have when something is wrong with your body, so where the doctors are going to get money out of you when you're sick is more important and valuable then your health, that is why they need all the information about your health insurance first before they do or check anything on you.

That is why education is so so expensive and never mind expensive, that education is being given as DEBT, something you have to pay for in order to get it, and what you get will only be useful in a system of DEBT, it is not useful to LIFE. Education in this world does NOT support LIFE, it supports a system of DEBT and abuse, a system of profit making till we die, a system of self-interest and greed.

That is why you will have neighborhoods divided into rich/middle/poor classes, so that all of the men/women/children as life is not valuable but the amount of money they have will provide them a house in one of these neighborhoods, and all this is ''normal,'' one of the many ''norms'' in most countries in this world.

Now i can continue giving you more of these examples, but you do get the drift already what i mean that what we have in this world as ''norms and values'' are all NOT supporting LIFE...!!!!  But we talk about them with such a straight face as if they are, when they are factually/practically NOT so at all.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the ''norms and values'' in my society as ''normal'' without ever questioning them to see if they are supporting LIFE which is of THE utmost value ever or not.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that the ''norms and values'' we have in any particular society is ''good'' when having a closer look, i can see that they are NOT ''good'' at all, because of the point of being supportive to LIFE; 'yes or no..???' And it is a definitive: ''NO''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take these ''norms and values'' at heart as if they are of utmost importance when they clearly are NOT supporting LIFE at all.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate freely in the ''norms and values'' of the society i am living in without ever questioning them for what they really stand for and represent.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by the ''norms and values'' set forth by society before i was born into the society and accept them no matter what, even when i was seeing the atrocities that were busy happening in the society i was born into.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that in order for me to express me as life in this world i need ''norms and values'' when all i really need is to express me as life as all as one as equal.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how abusive and harmful i am in participating in the idea of ''norms and values'' set forth by my society at large as important, and not LIFE as important and of importance.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to neglect and turn the blind eye when i could clearly see that the ''norms and values'' set forth are not in support of LIFE at all, but instead have lived my life in fear of facing and challenging these idiotic ''norms and values.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at people who open their mouths about ''norms and values'' when they to as me are all abusing life, and we should not even talk about ''norms and values'' as long as we do NOT value LIFE and LIVING itself as THE norm.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see ''norms and values'' as negative, because that is all they are standing for and represent in this world not realizing that within seeing ''norms and values'' as negative within me is giving them their existence within me and outside of me.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that the past generations of people within my society were responsible people and set forth to put in place some ''norms and values'' all of us should be living in and according to, when i did not see the obvious, that the ''norms and values'' were just protecting the ones in power and the system that is used for the purpose of power/control and greed/self-interest.

 

 

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments show to anyone how our ''norms and values'' mean nothing at all, but are all just window dressing to hide to real evil intentions for continuing with the abuse done to life.

 

I commit myself to walk as an example in debunking/exposing all the ''norms and values'' we have in place that do NOT  support life in anyways whatsoever.

I commit myself to show those who are not seeing yet the their ''norms and values'' are not align with the real way they are living with each other and with all other lifeforms, so they may stand up and take a stand/stance for LIFE.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 42, Privacy

This word is a word that in this country where i find myself has become like a way of living for these people, it is VERY important to them, this privacy bullshit.

Why do i call it ''bullshit'' you may ask..?? Because i can see the real deception in this word that we have accepted and allowed from ourselves to be part of our reality. Let me place some everyday examples, and remember these are just a few, for you and you will see for yourself. Privacy is more like wanting no-one or anything to disturb you in your little personal space. This little personal space can be a lot of things, like: '' not wanting children to make a lot of noise in your vicinity. Not wanting your neighbors to be loud, and this is depending on what you find loud to be. Not wanting animals to be around your little personal space which is your house. Afraid of people finding out what your thoughts are,and in this you will whisper a lot talking to someone else. Not wanting your weekend to be fucked by any unnecessary work like; 'helping someone else for awhile.' Not wanting people that you judge by their culture to be your neighbors. Not wanting people to sit next to you in an open area that you found and thought: '' ooh this is just perfect for me.''  Not wanting a bump in the streets walking up to you and asking you for money or something to eat. Get irritated when children from other parents are having fun playing, but you wish they were quiet like yours. Liking it when you are excluding yourself more and more from society and become angry if someone screw that whole exclusion your busy playing which is more like trying to hide yourself from society. Wanting no-one to hear you scream ''oh my god, i am coming. Irritated when young ones kiss in public area in your face. Becoming irritated on your mobile phone when you have to talk to someone and you are in public area, you want everyone else to be quiet for you to answer your stupid shit. Parking your car miles away avoiding the parking lot, because it is to busy and you want quiet. Not wanting people to look at you when you are eating in PUBLIC. In your house you will have little spaces you call sleeping rooms and depending on the size of the family each will have their own little private room, meaning: '' each having there own little secrets all by themselves, where no-one can see what they are busy doing. Avoiding eye contact when you are busy shopping in supermarkets. Don't want people to come ask you any question about anything, so you will walk with an angry looking face everywhere. You may choose a restaurant that is more hidden from the public then one that is in plane view. Making laws to protect your above: ''in real life happening'' examples. Decided to take a walk in nature, you will hate it when you are there and there are to many people walking already, because you wanted to be alone or with as less people as possible. Many of you reading this will find some examples given here also in your own home, or that you apply yourself. etc etc...........Now i am not placing these as judgements, but just for us to see how much we are busy excluding ourselves and becoming more afraid of each other and how we are giving SECRETS more importance then being open without harming others. We want our hiding game a.k.a. ''secrets'' to be protected. So privacy is just another word for: '' fear of exposure''  '' fear of not wanting to take ones self-responsibility''  '' fear of what others might think/belief of you''  '' fear of facing the real life as it really plays out in reality.'' and much much more fears.

But within this you will see that many will say: '' no, that is NOT what i mean when i say ''PRIVACY.''  I know about you, you are the ones who will use the definition of the word privacy to defend yourself with but when i meet you in real time, you will be living out one of the examples there in the paragraph above....loll lolll   The definition is a perfect way to justify how you are day by day getting worst at getting irritated by everything, and also wanting/wishing to exclude yourself more and more up to the point where everyone else have to ''suffer'' in a sense for you to have your little stupid privacy bullshit game.  To myself when i look into this privacy word and how it is being lived, i see only the fear that people have, and that these people that want more and more privacy are most of the times the ones gossiping more about others, and have lots of secrets and lots of back-chats going on, and above all fear LIFE/living the most..!!

Self-forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from myself and others and using the word ''privacy'' to do this.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how privacy has as it's source: FEAR..!!

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that life is about being private when obviously, life is about being known, totally open, so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make life a prisoner every time i want privacy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see how in having privacy or making all kinds of excuses to have privacy is me being afraid of myself,as what i belief/think others might belief/think of me, which i am so afraid of, so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my self-judgment and created a nice little defense mechanism called: '' privacy.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how by participating in privacy i was participating in making sure the fear of being open as a living human being, express yourself as a human has little by little been captured by fear more and more to the extent that life has become something that is totally fearful, that we have to hide to live.

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that sex should be something that is private, in this totally accepting and allowing the rape of my own expression of my human physical body being touched. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that openly having sex is a ''bad/wrong'' thing to do, when sex itself is totally something physical and natural to the body. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make sex a secret by privatizing it, and in so doing making sure that it will be more and more unnatural with each passing day, making one of our expressions as a  ''bad'' thing, a ''vile'' thing to do,especially in the open, it MUST be private..!!  So i forgive myself for accepting and allowing sex to be an occurrence in this world where it will be ''bad'' and ''vile'' because i and the majority of the other humans has made it so, we are creating the experience of ourselves as what we define ourselves to be.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand by how me privatizing sex, has contributed to all the sexual related crimes and sexual addictions in this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make everything private where i fear others might know my own self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a room without a door to close it, because it will mean that everyone can see what i am doing in my room, implying that there are things that i do, that i fear others finding out about me, so i prefer not to go through that whole consequence of them finding out my secrets so i will hide them behind close doors.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how i as one of those whom have in this world, can afford such luxuries as having a privacy of ones own, when the have nots in this world can mostly not afford having any if not at all privacy, they are openly poor, openly starving, openly living in fuck-up homes,when the really really rich ones are secretly rich, secretly having their ''good'' life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see how being rich is truly having secrets, so in this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to all the times i wished/wanted to be rich to, when being rich as it exist in this world is having a secret and having a secret means i am NOT one and equal with and as life. Life is NOT a secret..!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find it ''normal'' in society that we should have our privacy, implying our fears to be protected from others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the monetary system as a system that is private and in this secretive,making sure now that the monetary system can be protected and not questioned because of privacy issues.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to do whatever it takes to protect privacy, believing/thinking that i was doing something ''good'' when in reality privacy is not necessary at all, because i can life is open for all to see.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never have questioned how it is expressing oneself as life can be private..??

I commit myself to make sure to expose privacy for what it really means and stands for in this world, for the value we have given it, which is one that is not in alignment with what we truly are as life, physical expressions of life expressing life/living.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments show as an example that life is not to be privatized but lived and make it as easy as possible so others whom are seeing privacy as very very important to put down their guards and start really living.

I commit myself through breath by breath let go little by little of the idea of PRIVACY.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 41, What Was Sexy To Me.

Within this blog i am going to do self-forgiveness on what i used to find sexy and also for what i still see as sexy.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman sexy by the way they talk if they have a ''normal'' woman voice.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find any woman with a ''beautiful'' slim well shaped body sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find a woman who is smart sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find a woman who is very open minded very sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see sexy woman as the ones i would like to be with, because it means to me that i will be getting more sex from them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman with a long curly hair sexier then others without.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman with a long firm smooth legs to be sexy looking, and these are the most beautiful part of a woman body that i like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that only with a woman that i find sexy enough would i be able to have a fruitful relationship.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that only  with a sexy lady i can have a more hot relationship with a lot of sex.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see only the word sex in sex(y) and the ''y'' is not even of importance, it is more like a question why the ''y'' when we already have what we need which is SEX.
 
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed by the media and magazines and the movies to mold me into what i would see as a woman who is sexy or not sexy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for sex only in a woman that i find sexy, which is at the same time my attraction.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how i was deceiving myself into believing that a sexy lady is all i need for a good sex life, when it was not necessarily so in fact, some sexy ladies are not very sexual as the image they are portraying when it comes to the real physical thing, within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by an image, and not by truly getting to know someone for real but went straight for the image, the representation which of course suited my ideal picture in my mind, that i programmed myself with through the media/t.v./movies/magazines.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman wearing a tight jeans sexy especially if they have nice legs, because the shape of the legs are visible.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find woman in jogging gear looking sexy, because it gives me the impression that they are ready to get loose, they are loosy woman, woman who love sex, but try to hide it, without knowing and realizing that we can see through any clothing what we would like to get our hands on.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see white woman as the ultimate representation of what sexy means to me, and within this i have realized that from my early childhood it was already programmed within me, that i will favor white woman, and the first white woman that really made a huge impact on my life was the lady that played the lead personality in the movie flashdance, i was 11 at that time, that was the moment when  the imprint occurred.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by a personality in a movie that had an major impact on my decision making in my whole life concerning sexiness of woman, based on what i saw that i liked about this personality in this movie.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that by following an image in my mind that i allow to exist will make me treat woman in real life as images and not as real people, real physical human beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to disrespect the physical as life, in treating it as an image and abusing it, because i was lost in my imaginary world of images and images are not real, and within this by being aware of it and try to superimpose this image on the physical where the image and the real thing are no match, and within makes me an abuser, because i am abusing what is real for a image.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application to expose the real nature of how sexiness is being used in this world to delude people and to hurt the physical in many many ways.

I commit myself to look and treat woman as equals as me and not as body parts i find sexy according to an image i have created in the past.

I commit myself to educate myself some more and in this look for practical solutions that will suit each best and bring about a world where woman are not seen and treated as sex-symbols but as equals.

I commit myself  to show to all that cannot see how being sexy in this world is busy deluding people and make them slaves to themselves and at the world at large, enslaving themselves and everyone and everything else.


Thanks.

Larry Manuela


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Day 40, Enjoy Yourself And Stop Worrying. Part 2

Continuing with the self-forgiveness of 2 days ago, see link here: http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-37-enjoy-yourself-and-stop-worrying.html


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never questioning for real and more deeply how it is i was worrying about how we live with each other in this world and with everything else in this world, the earth included, when the evidence is right here as the suffering of life that is busy happening

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that by worrying and talking about my worrying will somehow wake some people up, so we can start standing up for what we are doing to life and just STOP, correct ourselves and then create anew but then only based on that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing the people that were saying i should enjoy myself instead of taking action for what i saw as being ''wrong'' in this world, instead of taking a real stand/stance for life for real in this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be joyful together with the others who are the have's in this world, and not ever taking a stand for the have-nots in this world, making sure in this way, that both experiences are here as the whom we are.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see everyone whom are deliberately participating in this system and say something as stupid as this whole saying i am blogging about as very evil people, forgetting in this whole process of blaming others and me, that not me nor them are taking our self-responsibilities and make sure a real physical/practical change in this world. is to be placed by and through ourselves the same as we have done with this mess we have accepted and allowed to exist.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry in myself to/towards people whom are saying these things(enjoy yourself and stop worrying), because i can see within their words,their total disregard to life, and within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that i have allowed such atrocities as these sayings to exist within me and this world, making sure that we continue our decline into total annihilation of ourselves as life and also other lifeforms as life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see in how by just letting this saying continue without exposing it for what it truly represents is me really giving my permission for those who are suffering under it to continue suffering and being harmed, because we will not care as long as we can make some bullshit sayings in our heads that sounds nice, but are completely not aligned with reality and show total disregard to life and our care for life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how this saying is suppose to be a positive affirmation, but is completely rooted out of fear, the fear of not wanting/willing to take a stand/stance for life, that which really really matters in this world, so within this my positive affirmation is just a coward way to hide myself within my mind for the fearful real thing that i see as negative outside myself and that i would certainly not want for me nor my family members, the ones whom are close to me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how within this positive affirmation only the ones whom we cared and loved and are close to us are included, the rest would have to fend for themselves while i make sure with the others that their existence continue existing by my very participation in being part of the other side of the polarity game.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how no matter how positive i/we want to be or become, still nothing will change, because the whole positivity has it's emergence from that which is negative, our individualism itself, us creating ourselves as individual and believing ourselves to be separated from substance is the very negativity point,when as substance we are one and equal, where oneness and equality is the whom we are.


I commit myself to expose wherever i there is such positive and ''feel good'' affirmations/sayings for what they truly are, so i might bring a little bit more awareness into peoples minds, when they are using such sayings.

I commit myself to continue with my preparation to birth myself into the physical little by little, breath by breath till i am totally here as LIFE, a breathing physical being.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself go into reactions towards these saying s within me, to STOP myself and take a very long breath, ground myself and make sure to hold my hands so i don't loose myself within my mind, remembering myself that i am here as the physical body, which is the real me.


Thanks.

Larry Manuela


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Day 39, A Day With My Mind-Fucks Part 2.

I am continuing with the self-forgiveness statements in regard to my mind-fucks a.k.a. back-chats.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regret myself not studying when i had the opportunity to do so, and now see that it is almost too late but not late.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hate those who have studied and are living a good life now, because i can see within myself that i despise living a good life when others suffers, i just don't have it within me to do it, and don't know what to do in the system.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself deny myself the fact that i can learn, but acted as if i can't, trying to avoid deliberately the things that would mean i have to take more responsibilities if i get to study them and then get to use them in the practical living, just because i saw them as ''bad'' being in a position where i make lots of money on the back of others, so within this i was afraid of my own fear of maybe/possibly liking the whole thing and then get to living the very thing i would despise, so within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link/connect fearing being careless with money to studying, if i had money and had a good job, fearing how i will become spending money on woman basically, indulging in sexual activities that people with money love so much, and i within this will loose myself, thus fearing loosing myself in becoming sexually addicted to/towards woman, just because i know that with money one can buy love/sex.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear studying and becoming ''somebody,'' because i know within this world someone with ''power'' can get a lot of things done, so i will be able to manipulate woman better if i had money and power as in having a ''good/higher education. Thus within this i fear education for the reason of fearing what i could become if i had a higher education, so meaning if i am fearing these within me, that they are in control of my life, so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let my fear of having power and money control my decision making in studying in this world, based upon my own desires and wishes to have sex with more and more woman.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to connect studying to having sex with woman.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect studying to power and money.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have secret hidden desires that are linked to money and sex and that i know now i would have fall into if i had studied and had a nicely paid job, i would've been exactly what i see other rich people do when they have money and power.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to despise studying due to the very fact of what i know that exist within me, when it comes to the sex, and what i could become if i don't work out my sexual addictions.

 

 

I commit myself to remember to breathe, and make sure to have physical touch, to remind myself that i am here,so i stop the participation in my mind with my back-chats about studying and bringing a child into this world now.

 

I commit myself to layer out my thoughts that are in me and that i use to participate within and as my back-chats with. 

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application and my commitments to walk as an example as i go along deconstructing myself as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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Day 38, A Day with My Mind-Fucks. Part 1

Now within this blog i am going to layout specific thoughts and feelings and emotions that i go through during my days and nights, that are basically almost the same points over and over, and again and again.  I was to continue with part 2 of the blog of yesterday, but will do that tomorrow, which will be another tomorrow...loll

I had a chat with a friend of mine today and we were chatting about this, and it became clear and also as she suggested and which i found a great idea, to write in specificity how i ''mind-fuck'' myself during my days and nights. She suggested me to dig deeper into myself to find me, the fucker that is hiding, or try to hide in the maze of all these thoughts/feelings/emotions.

 

 

Now lets have a look at the who i am in my own thoughts.

I will start with a specific anger i have towards studies. In this when i look in the world outside and i can see that, studies in this world have never brought about a world that one can be proud of. This one thing influenced me in my entire life. Because from a very young age, i was already within myself questioning everything and everyone. I had a relationship with questioning things and people. So what i was busy studying at school to me was garbage because the shit was never about what really matters in the world, what really matters in life. It was just about what do you wanna study so you can ''be'' somebody tomorrow in your life, you guys know, this whole thing of having a career and shit like that. Oh yes before i continue let me say that in this blog i am going to be cursing a lot, so bear with me here,so reader discretion is advised..!! ...lolll. I want to put the shit that is in me as it is in me, brutally so out, as real as it can get, so i can see the points within me that i need to correct.  Anyways, so this whole bullshit stuff of going to school just to study to be somebody, like you are not somebody right now, is all just fucking bullshit..!!! I don't see why the fuck i have study any shit in order for me to ''be'' somebody, i mean WTF( what the fuck !!!). The moment i accepted that bullshit that right now i am a nobody so i have to rely and depend on a fucking schooling(brainwashing) in order for me to ''BE'' somebody, in this moment i gave all my power away and squandered LIFE for a fucking schooling, that never ever taught me anything about how the fuck to practically live in this world for real. It was and still is all major bullshit that is being taught in schools. It is all about Me becoming a perfect asshole slave in the system, one of the many assholes that will NEVER question the fucking thing. I despised school so much within me that i have decided within myself that i am NOT going to learn any bullshit where i can make myself make lots and lots of money, because i could not agree with this bullshit in this world.To me making lots of money when while others are poor and starving makes me a ''BAD'' person. Just because i was born with an ability to learn a little bit faster then others made me in the system if i do my best get very well rewarded. So only those who can study good will get the most lovely life, they will get the most well paid jobs and all the fucking bullshit that goes with it. So i decided to protest in myself, occupy my own mind delirium against myself by deliberately choosing things to study where i can see, that with that i will not be someone who is going to make lots and lots of money in the fucking bullshit system we have here in this world.Like laying low so to speak. Because to me making a lot of money in a system like this means i am an abuser and it is true to...!! but accepting and allowing the system to exist as it is, is also being an abuser.

 

The reason why i am angry today and all the days of my life, is because now i can see how i abdicated my responsibility to/towards life itself as myself. Because i could study, i can study, i have the brains to do so, i know it. I could have studied something that i could have used as a tool to bring some real changes in this world, to all the shit i was seeing that are NOT right in this fucking world we live in. I decided to hide within myself as a coward, not standing up for life, and i have it within me, i can see the shit clearly and know when a fucker is being a fucker..!!  How..?? Because i am a fucker to. I fuck myself by letting myself down as life, by NOT making the right choices and deliberately to in my life, just because it was my attempt to protest against the fucking system that i despised so much throughout my life. How can i be so stupid i ask myself many times to allow such bullshit to exist in this world...?? And all the bullshit is very easily recognizable using common sense, simple stuff. Let me give a fucking example, that all of you know it IS so..!!  We all know that we don't really need no fucking money in this world for us to survive, everything, and i literally mean EVERYTHING that we need to survive is provided for us by the EARTH. So what the fuck is WRONG with ME and ALL of you that makes me and all of you not say it is ENOUGH and STOP this money game and take a fucking real stand/stance together as one..!!!..?? I know it is the fucking fear of loosing things and people in this world and also ones own life, because to stand for life in this fucking world means, you are an enemy of the system. So everyone and everything within the system who LOVE the fucking thing so much will see you as an enemy..!! Simple shit..!!  No amount of money will ever replace my fucking life or lives of others, but yet here i am in this bullshit system working like a salve to a fucking idiotic scheme of a system, where i have NO freedom whatsoever..!! the only sense of freedom i will get is when i buy the stuff i need to buy with the bullshit money i spent most of my time in a week working like a slave to get, like i have no life to live. Fucking myself and everybody up, by not standing for life. But i am done with this, i am tired of this shit, tired of not standing up,tired of not saying the shit to everyone in their faces the real shit that is busy going on in this world, how i and everyone else is busy fucking everything up, with our oh so precious beliefs and educations. I mean i am so tired of people not standing up for life, tired of myself not standing up for life, so i will have to keep on going and do what i have to do, in order to bring about a world that is truly BEST for all LIFE. So i am going to study the shit i should have studied, and not because i like it or i might get paid well when i am done and have a fucking degree, oh NO, because i will use it to bring about a world that is best for all life. I am planning to study political science, so i can get my ass into politics and show all the people who had their fucking chances, how things are really done when you walk as one as equal as life and don't accept and allow anything LESS or MORE then LIFE...!!  No more bullshit laws/rules/regulations that does NOT support life. It is done with the all bullshit, done with all the justifications.!!

Now there is another anger in me and that is the anger i get to experience when i hear that some people are planning to have children or are going to have children. This thing makes me extremely angry, why...??  Because i can see within me that i won't have done that to the child, bring a child into this world right now when we are at the brink of destroying ourselves.When we are heading towards a fucking collapse of the system. I am so angry at myself that i have missed this point in my life and feel so sorry that i had to bring a child into this world. because now the child is here and the fucking world(system of men) is not supportive at all to any child. I am just a fucking abuser who brought a child in this world when knowing that the world is a fucked up place to be in, because i myself are one of the fuckers who are fucking the whole thing up, by just allowing the stupid shitty system we have here in place, as simple as that..!!

Now that i have written the shit out as it exist within me, i am going through this experience of sadness. Sadness because i can see how much hate and resentfulness i have within me, and how much i spite myself and everyone else. It is so sad that i have to live with all this anger within me, when they are totally not necessary at all, they don't change the reality i am in and the world is in. the only thing that is going to bring a change is myself standing as myself as life one and equal and be the example as that, walk it for real..!!

Self-forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at studying, because of my belief that studies meant nothing substantial in this then to just to become a slave to the system. 

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the schooling system in this world, because of my belief that it is not something worthwhile doing or participating in, as it only produces slaves to a system of enslavement.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be an active participant in and as the system and NOT an active participant within the system that is walking in correcting himself to bring about a world that is best for all life as himself in the beginning when i was seeing all this none sense already and was questioning it.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide within my own thoughts/feelings/emotions in order for me not to take my self-responsibility for what i was seeing that was not correct and right within this world, within this i found a nice place within my mind where i can back-chat about all the shit i don't agree with in this world and be right about it in my mind, playing this whole game of winning and loosing/competition within my own mind, and hence having to create winning/loosing/competition in my world at large.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to delude myself in the idea and belief that by not studying the studies that are considered higher learning in this world, i will protest against the system, go against it, not realizing/seeing/understanding that there inside my mind was the only place this protest was going on in the form of back-chats.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by thinking/believing that i can actually achieve something with protesting in my mind and living this protest out as myself, when the only thing i was achieving was me being a coward in this world not standing up for what is best for all life.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to spite myself and everyone else for not standing up for life.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by my own self created mind delusions as back-chats, that are always wanting to be right and win.

I am going to have to continue in another blog finishing up with the self-forgiveness and the corrective statements and my commitments.

 

Thanks.

 

Larry Manuela

 

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Day 37, Enjoy Yourself And Stop Worrying. Part 1

Now, this is what people with money and positive thinkers, law of attraction believers, spiritual people and religious people always say. And they even add up to it more, saying; ' remember you only have one life, so instead of wasting it on ''trying'' to bring about a world that is best for all, is a waste of your life, go have some fun, travel see places, enjoy it because the time will come when you close your eyes(you die) and your whole life was just nothing..!!!'

 

 

 

 

 

Now the whole sentence above are what a lot of people in this world are saying. I used to listen to this crap before, but since i have come to look at things in common sense, i can clearly see how careless and without compassion one must be to say such bullshit. People whom are saying this are completely separated of the physical reality and what is really going on in this physical world, they are completely lost in their minds. It is not that they can't see it, they see it !! but don't belief that they, or anyone else can do something about it, it is for them a too big of a problem. So because of this they will rather have a good time in the face of the ones whom are suffering and starving and being harmed and abused,  then to actually take a real stand and do something about it. In the picture i have chosen you have another bullshit saying, the same bullshit goes for this one to. These are the positive affirmations people use in their lives to make themselves belief that all is o.k. and fine, as long as nothing is happening to me, and because i also fear that it might happen in the future, so i better enjoy myself now that i can, before it's too late..!!  All of this is bullshit people.!!!  This is the very reason that men are evil..!!  Whom are the ones saying these things...?? People that have MONEY..!!!! Some of you may say;' but i don't have that much money as to classify me as one with money,i have to work hard to ''earn'' a living.' Within this one is not realizing how one is busy being the one of the few in this world that is fine and o.k. within the system. One is not looking at the whole picture and see how the very system one is busy working ones ass of within it to justify that one deserve to have what one have is pure abuse, when all of it is a robbery/pillage really if you ask me, you are participating in robbing the earth and all it's dwellers/inhabitants through the very system that one have come to accept and allow to be the system to be used for men to survive in this world, without ever seeing/realizing/understanding for real that our survival has already been taken care of by the earth. The earth is providing everything we need in order to survive without any problems, but some humans had to made out of that a system and now glorify this system and put it on a pedestal and giving it more value then life itself as in the manifestation as earth. Now have a look at this, the stupidity of us humans, we want to create a system, where the system is trying to be more then life, when in reality there can be no system if there is no life, a system cannot stand on it's own, it needs life, and life on the other hand needs nothing but itself. One can enslave life for a while but in the end one will loose anyways, because whatever that can be created with using life has as it's essence the dependency on life,without the life it can't exist.!! So this means when you break it down to it's last drop you will always find life at the end, life will be the one thing that will remain after the whatever that was created is done as creation. LIFE Exists..!!!! It is existence itself. So whatever that tries to be more then life will loose eventually, because one cannot be more then life when life is truly all there is..!!  All this is very clearly seen/realized/understood in common sense.

Self-forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in sayings that have no common sense whatsoever and does not support life as that which is best for all, oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be moved in the past by positive affirmations that gave me a feeling as if i am doing something right, when in reality the only thing that should have ever been the ''right'' thing to do, was always that which is best for all life..!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy myself in the past without ever seeing/realizing/understanding that my enjoyment was self-interest based, and was linked to fear of not going through the mess that i know is here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in a feeling of enjoyment without seeing/realizing/understanding how my self-interest enjoyment is the very source of the abuse that i myself see in this world and in this try to run from through enjoying myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be an active participant within positive quotes that have nothing to do with reality but with my own self-judgement and self-interest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find in enjoyment reasons enough to not take my self-responsibility to act in a way that is best for all life, but instead show in all ways my deceptive nature as in being careless and without compassion, because i dare to enjoy myself while others suffer on the same planet that gift us all life equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define enjoyment as a means to run away from the consequences i have participated in creating in the past together with my fellow humans.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never ever questioned the stupid sayings we always use, and within this lived many of them without seeing/realizing/understanding by doing this how many lives i was busy harming, by just trying to be positive as in self-interest trying to live an affirmation in a world that is mirroring the opposite of what the affirmation is saying.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have planned my days with stupid affirmations that were not aligned at all with the real physical, practical living, but were just dreams and desires of a selfish man, an abusive man in a world where the majority is suffering while the few are trying to avoid this ever happening to them but NOT STOPPING the suffering permanently forever more.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see wisdom into some of these positive affirmation, when in reality they are reflection of stupidity.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even connect ''positive affirmations'' to wisdom, when neither have ever done anything practically to bring about a world that is best for all life, so within this both being total failures to/towards/in LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes saw within the affirmations that there must be some little bit of truth in it, when the only real truth in it was my own participation within the whole affirmation itself as a means to justify why it is I above all else deserve a joyful life and others NOT.

To be continued tomorrow in part 2...................................

Thanks

Larry Manuela

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Day 36, Mixed Feelings/Emotions.

You know when you get to realize what is really going on, the first thing that you will go through is Anger..!! You will get angry at the whole of humanity, all religions, all gurus/spiritual master teachers, all Prophets, all holy men, all philosophers, all wise men, all scientists, all business people, all politicians, all voters, all esoteric teachers, all whatever.................................

You will get very angry especially at those you see within this world that have the capability/ability/means and also the position within this world to make a difference but yet they don't act and make a difference.

So at first the anger will get hold of you, and then blame will follow, you will blame everyone and everything including yourself. I was blaming myself for i have not realized throughout my life, how i could be participating in the very thing that i was taught to never be, which is EVIL..!!
I realized how evil i am, with all the other humans, there is not one that is not evil, they are all evil. I couldn't belief it at first, but after extensive self-honest investigations into my own inner workings, as my; 'thoughts/feelings/emotions' i kept coming to the same conclusion, that i and everyone else are all EVIL..!! And this is NOT an Opinion, it is an obvious common sense,only by using your common sense you will be able to see this simple realization..!!  Knowledge and belief will not do..!!!


Now if you are reading this and you are religious or spiritual, or you are neither but you consider yourself to be a ''good person,'' understand that all of these are part of the plot that makes us all evil. You might ask, but how so..?? well let me give you some examples and just maybe if you use common sense you can see/realize/understand for yourself. First thing to hold on to, in order for you to get this is: '' The Physical Reality'' as the expression of life itself..!!  Within this one must look at the interactions we have with each other and everything else when we know what is going on, what we do about it or don't do about it. The don't do part, is when you know something is abusive and harmful to others,because it will be seen as abusive and harmful to yourself also, but you ALLOW it anyways, especially if it is not happening to the people that you so-called: ''love.''   The reason i have placed love in quotes is because i can see that it is impossible for me to say i love someone or something when i am accepting and allowing a world where the opportunity for them to go through abuse or harm is sure a possibility, and now that things are getting worst, that opportunity is more then just a possibility, it is a certainty almost. I was not questioning, how can my love to/towards them be real, if i am accepting and allowing a system of money to exist where i and everyone are a slave within it, where i and everyone else have to lie just to survive, where i and everyone else have to compete just in order to win so i and everyone else can survive better then the other person,where there are wars going on, where people and animals are starving, where people don't have a decent home to live in, don't have water, don't have clean sanitation, don't have medical care etc etc........now all of these things are happening under my/our watch. There is no-one in this world that can say they don't know about this, and if there are those whom don't know, it is because they are not informed by others or they live in areas where they can't be informed, or because they are the ones going through it for real, what we hear about on this side of the globe, so  
THEY know for sure.! But these are the people whom don't have a voice in this world, they can't speak up or stand up because they are in a weaker position, they are starving and there is just nothing they can do. And with all the charity foundations that are on the planet, is more reason for me to be angry, because these exist for the pure reason for the ones whom are believing themselves to be ''good people'' to venture in, to participate in so they can feel good about themselves as if they are the ones who are caring, but in reality charity foundations exist only to keep the poor poor and the starving starving. Now maybe you will ask, but how so..?? Because you are not solving the problem, you are supporting it. It is like saying: ''o.k. poor and starving people, this is all i can do for you, and not all of you, just a few, i can only help you go through whatever it is you're going through, but to take my self-responsibility and do whatever it takes to make sure you and no-one else ever have to be poor or starve in a world of plenty....oohh no, this you will not do, you don't even see/realize/understand how there lives is also your responsibility. The reason is simple because you have not realized, and i mean really, really REALIZE THIS yet,that we have one thing in common, all of us, and that is LIFE itself. So allowing another life to suffer is allowing me as life also to suffer, even though it may not be so in my life right now, but it can happen, and if not with me, it can happen to my children or their children, just because i and the rest is allowing such atrocities to exist in our world, it has become part of our reality, the way we live with each other in this world..!!  This is our last chance to make this work, we are either going to stand together as one as equals as all as LIFE and solve this problem or we are going to destroy our own existence as humanity on planet earth...??? These are the real choices we have now..!!!  Make sure to be part of the solution, and not part of the problem where destruction will come upon you and the rest, because you cannot escape yourself as LIFE, it is who you are..!!!


Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at humanity, not seeing/realizing/understanding that by doing this i am being angry at myself, because humanity is me as a whole, so whatever happen to any part of humanity will happen to me to, humanity is my greater body, i am the little body within the greater body called humanity, which is ME.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be very angry at myself when i found out within myself how i was busy contributing to the problems that are here in this world, together with all the others, just by participating in this world, no matter how i try to justify it, i am HERE.

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny my participation in this world, by trying to use the opposite polarity as ''good'' against the other opposite polarity which is ''bad,''  so by believing myself to be ''good'' that i  cannot be part of the ones i consider ''bad'' and that are doing ''bad things.'' within this i never realized how i was just playing in the polarity game of ''good'' versus ''bad/evil'' making sure that both exist in this world.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand by being or doing ''good'' was not changing anything to the problems that are existent within this world.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ''good'' within a world where both good and bad exist as believing myself to be good, will mean that the bad will not happen to me or my loved ones.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger when i found out that i as the personality in my mind called: ''Larry''  is busy participating as a separate illusion within my mind and in so doing participate as a separate being in the outside world as i live as separate as Larry within my own mind and all other personalities in this world are doing the same thing, hence we all create a world where separation is our reality.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how by just being here on planet earth makes me responsible for all that is happening here, either if i am an active participant or an passive participant, it doesn't matter because a PARTICIPANT i am..!!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that by being angry at myself and others as myself is going to change anything.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to engage in anger, because of my belief, that participating in the emotion as anger,i  can somehow have an influence on what the heck is going on in this world, as is what we accept and allow to be here.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to life by participating in the emotion as anger,thus making sure that i as life is creating the emotion as anger within me and the manifestation as anger without me where the real physical reality is abused and harmed.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel anger to/towards people who are willingly not wanting to change themselves and then change the world as themselves together with others as a group, without realizing that it will take time for them to realize themselves and their participation in this world how it is busy supporting what is WRONG in this world. I have to discipline myself to have more and more patience.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even connect the word ''patience'' with the emotion as anger,within this  accepting and allowing patience to be dependent within me on anger, meaning; ' i can only be patient if there is an emotion as anger within me.' Within this not seeing/realizing/understanding how i am defining patient to an reaction as in me as an emotion as anger.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see anger as a natural human behavior,because i cannot find within myself how and when exactly i created anger to exist within me as me, so i assume it must be me, must be my nature as a human being, when my body itself and my breathing is clearly showing me that they are never in and as anger, that anger in me only happens as an energy, anger itself is not a physical real manifestation as life.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let anger be part of me and in so doing also part of my whole reality as the physical reality where the anger inside me and others as me is manifested in the way we will act as we are in this energetic emotion as anger.

Self corrective application:

When and as i see myself going into anger, i STOP ....and i take a very deep breath and ground myself here as the physical, reminding myself that i must let go of the anger that is existing within me and that is projected to/towards others as me, and within this make sure that i touch something that is physically here, so i do not delude myself into thinking.

Commitments:

I commit myself to walk my process of writing, self-forgiveness and self corrective application/commitments,to show to others as me how one can assist and support oneself using these tools in order for one to ground oneself and step by step, breath by breath equalize oneself to oneness and equality,that which is LIFE.

I commit myself to walk as an example as to show and explain to others as me how participating in anger only bring destruction in ones life and also in the lives of others and the reality we are in at large.

I commit myself to expose anger for what it is and also for what we accept and allow anger to do as ourselves within this world.

Thanks.

Larry Manuela

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