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Sunday, 27 July 2014

Day 324, So Larry Why don't you change?

As you can see, this title is referring to myself. I am asking myself, why it is I am not changing as I would like to change myself as what I am aware must be done in order to be the example I must be, so that the way we live with each other and everything else can change to?

Before I continue about myself I want to place two videos of two people whom did effect my life and the way I looked at life in a very deep way.

First I place the video of Jiddu Krishnamurti with the title: " Why don't you change."





And the video of Bernard Poolman, with the title: "  2012, finding your purpose in the journey to life."







So there you have two of the many videos that have supported me in all the times I let myself be down so to speak. Within this abusing myself and thus being abuser of all life.




Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even when I am aware that I have to change, I still postpone my change in sitting and waiting and just taking in information and knowledge and not really actually doing anything with them that will result into that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change as I would like to change myself to be an example in this world no matter what, as to what it means practically to be the change I want to be in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do what is necessary to be done in my life to change myself to be/become a living example of the principle of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe my own justifications and my self-sabotages to keep on continuing allowing myself to not change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through me not changing myself as I am aware I have to, I also within the big picture let down all of the ones that will find similarities within my writing that they go through within their own lives, thus within this not taking my self-responsibility to actually walk my own process and thus my process which is also at the same time a support to others that may go through the same patterns and constructs I am going through, to assist and support them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through my procrastination accept and allow all what is here in this world as the manifested physical mind to be here and continue to exists as it exists without me changing me in order to be effective enough to become a member of humanity that will come together and change the physical manifested mind as the systems we have accepted and allowed to be here as the way we live on this planet as human beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate within me anger to/towards myself because I am aware of myself not doing what I am aware I must do to change myself in order to be the change humanity needs to see in the world.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live my commitments to the fullest as I wrote them in the past, and therefore not proofing to myself all the way that I can change myself in every moment of every breath by actually walking and sticking to my own commitments I have made that will have a result when I live them, that will change myself into a human being that lives by and as the principles of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do too little, just because I am aware now or by the very first time I saw the common sense of what I am accepting and allowing to happen to how life functions here in this world practically, which is not what is best for all life, so in order to hold face I do just little, because within me I am aware what is needed to be done and within my mind I let myself fight my own change, thus I deliberately sabotage myself in order to not actually really change in the moment by just taking the decision and see what has to be done physically/practically within common sense that will result in me living that which is according to the principle of that which is best for all life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed poverty to exist because I do not care enough as in physical/practical care to make sure that poverty is not a living condition on this planet for any life-form.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed hunger to exist on the planet for countless beings, by accepting and allowing a system to exist where such living condition is existent for many many beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even when I am aware of what the heck is going on, still I do not place myself and do more then enough to change myself in order to be a living example of the change that is being seen as impossible and make it visible and thus possible for all to see within the whom I become and the how I live my life in relationships with everything else with only one principle as an outcome, which is; ' that which is best for all life," no matter in what form life has manifested itself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be really self-honest within my writings about myself within and as my process, and deliberately leave certain aspect about myself for later, when I am aware that the later will not come, because I will keep on not writing about it, postponing my own change.




To be continued........................................................




Thanks.



Larry Manuela



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Sunday, 20 July 2014

Day 323, Why our opinions veil us to not see what are the facts of how life functions here?

So within a conversation with my sister today about what is going on in the world and how we live with each other in this world, what we accept and allow, I came to see/realize and understand that for someone to see that their believes/opinions/assumptions and their perspectives based on these same premises, thus believes and opinions and assumptions are not fact, is a very challenging point for most people to accept.



                                                                 

As we all know the all so famous words we use to defend our believes/opinions and assumptions with are: " We all have different believes about things, so let us just leave it to that" and with this meaning that because of this we are of the opinion that we will never come to work together or agree on the things that are really actually important in this world. The point not seen is that no-one is asking the how it is that we all have different opinions and believes and assumptions that are most of the times not based on actual facts. Most of our believes/opinions and assumptions are more based on knowledge and information, that in some cases some facts are used to defend it with, but the actuality of the fact itself is not a reality for that particular person. It is not something that the person in fact have proven physically for him or herself.

Let me give an example about this.

When I say that it is possible to stop thoughts/emotions and feelings and reactions and judgments, this is not a believe/opinion or an assumption I am sharing with another. I am sharing this with someone else as a fact that I myself have gone through and is going through, thus it is not a believe system from my part, it is an actual fact, because I have done this through forgiving myself and remaining here within and as my breath. Now, I am aware that this is a process, and that I am not yet still constant and consistent within this and that there are a lot of points that needs to be forgiven, and then corrected thus deleted within my mind and my human physical body, before I completely am just here breathing with no thoughts/emotions/feelings or any kind of energy reactions coming up within me.

But to someone else when I share this information with them and they do not agree with me on some points, they are not paying attention to or they cannot see clearly yet, that they are weighing what I am sharing with them based on what they have as believes within themselves, and will think and  believe that I am sharing my believes/opinions and assumptions with them, just like they are doing. But they themselves have not done the actual forgiveness and the actual being one and equal and staying within and as their breath to see/realize and understand for themselves and have their own proof that what I was sharing with them is not a believe, but an actual fact. But instead they will choose to not agree by using what they have as believes/opinions and assumptions within their minds without the actual fact for themselves. And just because of this also will not go into actual trying it out to see if it works or not, they will rather protect the believe they have about the points they do not agree with based on what they believe without having actual facts. And all this happens because we within ourselves have accepted and allowed that everyone have their own unique believes and opinions about the facts, so much so that we forget to look at the fact itself and by this we value our believes above the facts.

So within this we keep on devaluing facts with believes and we don't try something out practically to see/realize and understand for ourselves that what someone else is sharing can be so or not. An immediate dismissal comes up in the mind based on what we have accepted and allowed as believes in our minds that have no substance at all, because we are basing the believe not on actual facts, but on opinions and assumptions, and from there we project it out on the other that he/she is just sharing his/her believes/opinions and assumptions, because that is what we have accepted and allowed within ourselves as mode of operation, the things we have accepted and allowed about ourselves that we value and make decisions about life with.


We are all aware that if a human body does not have food to eat it will eventually die, this is a fact. No matter how many opinions we throw at it, will not change this fact, because this is how the human body functions in this world. There are certain things we do for example like the word "care," that we say we care because we feel sad and we get emotional about certain things we see and then we help someone that is in need and then based on this help we have given, we are then from the opinion and assumption that we are caring beings, because we are helping someone else, but in reality we cannot see yet that the helping is in actuality an acceptance and allowance of a system wherein these living conditions are a result of,  and thus that we need to change the system that produces that kind of end result as that living condition we all are aware we won't want for ourselves nor for our loved ones, but instead  that we create a system  that supports all life equally, so that no-one will be in a position where they can't take care of themselves, we accept and allow this to continue. We believe that help is the only thing we can do. Solving the problem itself so that no-one have to suffer needlessly and get into a situation where they need to be helped just for awhile we do not compute, because within our believes and opinions and assumptions this is an impossibility, and understand an impossibility that we have never actually lived to see if it works or not. We never created a system where life is being supported to have a result that is best for all life. But yet within our believes/opinions and assumptions we act as if we have done this already and it didn't work and that what we have now is the only way we can function even with all the proof we have daily that it is not working. Now the planet provides and produces more then enough food and also resources so that all the life expressions on it can survive and have all they need to live an optimum life with. But with the human, when the believes/opinions and assumptions comes up, we create systems wherein only a few can eat and the majority not or not well enough, and we justify it. We come up with all kinds of excuses to drive away from the fact that we have created a system wherein most will die of hunger and suffer severely, because within our believes/opinions and assumptions we are not equally valuable. We think/believe that some of us have more value then another and that we deserve to have more, and that we are special, all of which of course are believes/opinions and assumptions, because in the physical reality we as human bodies are not special, we all need to eat, we all need to poo, we all come into this world in the same way and we all die, we all breathe the same air, drink the same water, we all have two hands with uneven length of fingers, we all have hairs on our heads. There are things about the human body that one cannot change, because it will harm the body, or it will die. But in the mind we can stop and change anything in seconds and we will not die. We cannot stop our breaths, because we will die, there are consequences to the body when we do this, we cannot stop our hearts and continue living, or stop any major body function and continue living. Thoughts/emotions and feelings, reactions and judgments we can stop all these without harming the body. But of course if we do not test this for ourselves how would we see/realize and understand that these things that seem to be part of the human body is so or not? How would we be aware that they are the illusions? Would we just trust our believes without proving it to ourselves first if what we are experiencing as thoughts/emotions and feelings and all kinds of reactions are real or not?
Now I am aware that my mind cannot move in breath, my mind does not have any form of control on the breath itself. By this I have my own proof as I said some paragraphs above by staying within and as my breath one and equal, just following my breath, not needing any special meditation technique or whatever, just a simple being here with and as my breath following its movement in and out and whatever comes up within me I immediately forgive it till it appears no more and after awhile I am just here breathing. So if you are reading this and you have never done this before, test it out and see for yourself, but do not dismiss it because of believes/opinions and assumptions you may have about it. All of us that have done it and are doing it, and we are people coming from different walks of life that have proven this for ourselves and if we can do it, so can you, it is not reserved for the few or the special ones, it is something we can all do and apply. It is very simple but yet very effective.
So within this I implore you to before dismissing anything based on believes/opinions and assumptions in your mind wherein you have not walked the point itself in the physical and proven it to yourself that it is so or not, to first consider the point and try it out for yourselves. And then when you have your proof and it is something you have done yourself physically your process of becoming aware of what you have accepted and allowed yourself to be/become starts, and your creation of yourself into a being that live what is best for life starts and to also understand that it is a process that will take time, it is not something that will happen overnight, because it took us years to become what we are now as personalities in the mind we live through the body, so it will take some years to deconstruct that first and then start with creating ourselves into a human being that always does what is best for all life in all ways, always.



Thanks.

Larry Manuela



Join us at: Desteni

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Saturday, 12 July 2014

Day 322, Strange people.

Today sitting and listening to my sister talking to her children, I heard her talking about strange people.
With this she meant, the kids are going camping and they will meet "strange people"  there. In Dutch they say: "vreemde mensen" literally translated means: "strange humans." So I had this realization, that we can all see, and thus I share with you, the reader here.

These two words are being referred to other people we yet do not know. We consider them strangers.
I myself, have used and do use these two words now and then.
And now I ask myself the question: " what makes another human strange?"



                                                                   

Because the only strange thing that we actually look for in another is about their personality, the whom they present themselves as. We see in them similarities we have within ourselves so we can agree with the personality they are presenting. In the beginning when we don't know the personality this human has become and is living through his/her body, we consider them as strangers.

So, how can someone else be a stranger but yet be a human equally as we are each? When I see a human, I am aware that I am looking at a human, and there is nothing strange about the human I am looking at. How come we have separated ourselves so much from our bodies to the extent where we only seek the personality in the mind in order to get to know someone or give that person in the mind value and then the person will be accepted within our world/reality. We weigh the personality of the "stranger" to see if he/she can be accepted within our circle of "familiar people." In this manner we create the "us" vs "them" clicks.

But yet, when we all look back, what do we see? All of us whom are now so-called familiar with each other, were all strangers in the beginning. So within this, one thing is very clear, that the possibility in the physical exists to move from fear of sharing and co-existing in harmony, to actually share and co-exist.

One day when equality is here because we created it and live it, words like "strangers" won't exist anymore, because they are not needed in equality. There are no strangers in equality, thus reality. Only in the mind can exist such constructs of inequality where life and the life-substance have no value at all, and can be called: "strange."








Here is the definition of strange from the freedictionary.com:



strange  (strnj)
adj. strang·erstrang·est
1. Not previously known; unfamiliar.
2.
a. Out of the ordinary; unusual or striking.
b. Differing from the normal.
3. Not of one's own or a particular locality, environment, or kind; exotic.
4.
a. Reserved in manner; distant.
b. Not comfortable or at ease; constrained.
5. Not accustomed or conditioned: She was strange to her new duties.
6. Archaic Of, relating to, or characteristic of another place or part of the world; foreign.




So as we can see at the definition of the word "strange," it is fully loaded in separation to what is HERE as life equal and one.

Our word definitions we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be/become are stating very clearly the whom we are as a collective and as an individual and how we all accept and allow the same way of living no matter where we come from and who we are, or what we may believe or not believe.

So by us moving from two strangers coming together and producing children that one day will also meet another stranger and produce children, something that the physical body is required for, in order for it to be achieved, the physical existence, the substance of life is showing us very clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt that what we have as believes within our minds is far removed from what can be done in reality, the actual creation happens in the physical with and as the physical.
Without the physical, even when we like or dislike someone or something, still is the real power, because without it we won't have likes and dislikes, the personality in the mind will have nothing to compare itself with or against. 
This is in actuality very harmful, what we consider our "normal daily lives" to be. Because by liking or disliking we are dismissing and abusing that which is actually real and of real value, which is LIFE and life-substance.



Larry Manuela





Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

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Friday, 11 July 2014

Day 321, Telling my daughter I am not her biological father part 3

Now  within this post I am going to layout the self-commitment statements in regards to this point.

For more context, I suggest having a look at the two post that are related to this one.


Here are the links to these two posts:


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/06/day-319-telling-my-daughter-that-i-am.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/07/day-320-telling-my-daughter-that-i-am.html






                                                         



Self-Commitment statements:


I commit myself to stop sabotaging myself and look at things in a practical manner and not always follow what my ex. or anyone else say, and learn to take self-responsibility to/towards everything and everyone that is here step by step, breath by breath, till this becomes who I am here, doing what is best for all in common sense practical ways/manner.

I commit myself to stop evaluating someone else's stories without further investigation and find practical ways to ensure that I get at least more sides/dimensions of the story and also if there are people involved within the story and they are mentioned within the story to also look for ways, if it is possible to communicate with them too, in order to hear their side of the story, so I can have a better evaluation about the whole situation and can then make a better assessment and come up with practical ways to solve the problem for myself and for others as myself.

I commit myself to when I am in a relationship/agreement to make sure I have equal saying in the relationship/agreement and to not sabotage myself because the other one may be first in jumping to solutions or probable solutions.

I commit myself to when I have something that is critical and important to share, to evaluate it deeply first, looking at all angles both theoretically and practically and out of that make the best practical decision that will be best for all parties/people involved.

I commit myself to now and in the future to, if I have some problem with someone and the opportunity exists that I can communicate with them, I make sure I do this so I have more information about the person in question to, and not only information about him/her from hearsay.

I commit myself to stop judging other people based on someone else story about them without hearing their own story, and if there is a moment or an opportunity for me to get to hear their own side of the story, to do so and within this also making sure to not judge them in their own story but to use common sense assessment to see what is best for all in the story, and within this i can assist and support that person in helping them help themselves within their own words.

I commit myself to in the future to stop defending people only based on a story they told me, and make sure I use common sense to evaluate what they're saying, and only stand within the common sense they shared with me in the story, because I am aware that only the common sense perspective I can trust, and in this assist and support accordingly.

I commit myself the next time to not only weigh something on what might go wrong alone, but to look at it in a common-sense practical manner to see what can be best for all participating people and also from what will be best for all. Within this I also make sure that I only rely on common sense and not my mind consciousness system trying to make right from what I judge within it as wrong.


I commit myself to in the future to not let fear get in my way, especially when it is something very important to tell or share or that I need to find out. Thus I make sure to stabilize myself first through self-forgiveness and my breathing and then just go for it without having to have fear about anything existing in my mind and body.


I commit myself to not judge my daughter as "too young" and just tell her whatever I need to tell her in a way that is practically understandable, in way I would have want it to be told myself clear to the point.


I commit myself to tell the real truth when there is an opening for that at all times and not be quiet or try to avoid the real truth after weighing the situation within my mind consciousness system.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela




Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

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Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Day 320, Telling my daughter that I am not her biological father. Part 2

So within this blog I am continuing with the self-forgiveness statements in regards to this point.


For context one can visit my first blog about this point at: http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/06/day-319-telling-my-daughter-that-i-am.html







Contuining with self-forgiveness statements, up to the point I am satisfied with what I have placed:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only look at and measure things/situations/events on what might/can go wrong within them and not actually introspecting the practical common sense, that can flow out of me when looking at the the whole situation on as many dimension of possible scenarios, and from there I can evaluate what would be best for all in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my daughter on her age, determining within my mind that she won't be able to handle the situation, because I thought/believed that she would want to meet him and thus force me and the mother to comply to her need of wanting to see her biological father, something that the mother and I already decided we didn't want to go into, because of the possibility that everything that happened in the past will start again, thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the past within and as my mind consciousness system and reinforce it by acting on the fear that exists within me as me as the mind to make a decision in a moment, and thus creating within the physical reality an outcome that is fear-based just like the past again.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to look at the situation of my daughter, but only look at the situation of what me and the mother would have to go through as the possible outflow and thus choose to protect our own self-interest and not the the interest of as in what will be best for all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having  to be involved in a situation where I have to deal with uncomfortable points that are not personally related to myself and thus within this find myself into probable trouble that are not mine in the first place, thus clearly avoid taking responsibility for all that exist within and as this world as I live within and as this world as where I live.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that by not telling my daughter who her real biological father is, it will protect me and the mother from possible problems with her biological father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that a possible problem with her biological dad will lead into some form of disputes that can turn into possible physical fights, thus judging from that perspective have decided to better not have nothing to do with him to avoid such conflicts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the biological father of my daughter as someone whom one cannot communicate with, based on the stories of what I have heard from them, as him being a aggressive man whom solve problems with his hands instead of reason and understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the stories and not investigate for myself if all of that is true or not, but just went with it without question.


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give myself the option of going and investigating what is going on for myself, but instead have chosen to follow the  stories of others without question, just to avoid problems, or possible problems that can derive from such points.




To be continued.................


Thanks.


Larry Manuela



Join us at: Desteni

Have a look at Equalmoney the solution to all the problems in this world.


Support our research and buy one or more products that will assist and support you greatly in understanding what is actually going on in life, through;  EQAFE

And do the life course and perfect yourself: DIP

Study another proposal we have, which is:  LIG







Sunday, 22 June 2014

Day 319, Telling my daughter that I am not her Biological father.

Fathersday I told my 14 year old daughther that she is not my biological daughter.
She asked me to tell her the truth, and so I did. That on itself was not a problem really.




                                                   

The problem started when she started crying about it and went into her room, that is what the mother told me via Whatsapp. But she was angry that I and the mother did not tell her long ago. The mother, then asked me what it was I told her that made her upset, and I told her too, that I told her the truth.

Now here is where the whole thing became a problem. Now the mother got angry with me too, because she found that as she decided a time ago, that she was going to tell her when she is 18. But looking at how my daughter communicates with me, I can tell that she is old enough to handle the information.

The reason why I in the past, way before I met the desteni people, decided with the mother that it would be best to not tell her, was because of how her real dad was behaving. He was a very agressive man and was stalking the mother constantly, everywhere she goes he will look for ways to find her, so he can continue being vex with her.

In the beginning when I met my ex. girlfriend she already had this girl, that became my daughter, she was back then only 1 year and a few months old.
Back then when the mother asked if it was o.k. for her father to come and see her, I agreed with it, because I saw that as no big deal, I mean who the hell am I to decide if the child can see her dad or not?

But the mother would put the child ready and they will wait and wait and he will not come. And then he will appear late in the evening drunk and high, when the child already slept. But his aim was to look if he can get back with the mother, trying to sleep with her and the lot. And this happened over and over, he will use the excuse of wanting to see the child but would never actually come and see her, it was just to find a way to get close to the mother and try to get her back. So then after all of that the mother decided that she don't want anything to do with him anymore, because he was lying  to everyone, but especially to the kid, because she will wait and wait and he won't come.
When the mother told the biological dad, that she don't want anything to do with him anymore, is when the stalking started becoming more, he will look for her everywhere, and ask everyone for her and even when she will change her phone number he will find it anyways and keep on bothering her late in the evening and harassing her and stuff like that. There were times that my ex. had to call the police on him just to make sure that if something happens that they know that this was going on for awhile already, because when it come to the police they have these strange rules that they apply, if there was not a lot of notification given if it is something that has to become a court case they will not put him in gail for stalking and being vex. Here is a simple example of how the police does not function on prevention, but are functioning on almost waiting for something to happen to then take action. And everytime I was out of the country he will go there and be vexing and always using the excuse of wanting to see the child, when it is late at night and always drunk and high.


So back then I agreed with the mother on not needing to tell the child yet who her real dad is, because we found that, that would mean that she would start to want to look for him and it would be my ex. that would have to look for him for her first, to tell him that his child is looking for him and then he will get the chance again to start to get close to the mother to try and get her back. Because the mother have managed after years to move to another town and he couldn't find her that easy anymore.  From the very beginning the biological father of my daughter did not want her, according to the mother he did not even go to the hospital to see her being born and nothing and did not even came to see her afterwards either. A lot of things had happen between them before I came into the picture, but that is her responsibility to take, I will take my responsibility here as what I did and what I did not do and correct the emotions and feelings and thoughts that I lived during that period of time and look at how I could have done it differently that could have resulted in what would be best for all.



Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to most of the times followed what my ex. would say, believing her all the way and agreed with her without question and sabotaging myself to not look at things in a practical manner that could have resulted into that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even though I did not trust everything my ex. was telling me, still I let myself get influenced by the way she talks and tell her story and from that go about evaluating to agree with her or not and eventually agree with her in the end most of the times.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually allow myself to have more saying in the relationship I had with my ex. and most of the times left things for her to take care of since I saw within her always jumping first in trying to solve the problems her way, and not actually listen to someone else solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be like a person who was a follower of what my ex. will decide and never really take much decision in what is going on, and became more like an observer and a listener.


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually look at all dimensions of what could have been done and prevented and look if it was possible to tell the child that I am not her real dad, so that no consequences of possible harm and abuse can come out of it.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually sit and talk with the biological father of my daughter and hear his side of the story when I had the opportunity to do so and now I only have the side of my ex's story about who he was and also a little about what I experienced myself from his behaviour to/towards my ex.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the biological father of my daughter, based on the stories my ex. was telling about him and agreed with her on the decisions she will make in regards to him seeing the child or not.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and defend my ex. based on the story she was telling about her ex. and in so doing most of the times agreed with her on the decisions she would make.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to actually go for what I found was not a big deal anyways, which was telling the child that I am not  her real dad, but instead have chosen to make decisions on emotions and fears.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to agree with my ex. on not telling my daughter that I am not her real dad from an early age, because in my mind I was weighing all the consequences of what could go wrong alone if I together with her mother will tell her at an early age, within this not seeing/realizing and understanding that I was making a decision not based on what is best for all, but only what was based on what was best for my ex.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based my decision of not telling my daughter at an early age that she is not my biological daughter, because of fearing having to go through lots of possible troubles with her real dad, and that he will continue harassing my ex. with every chance he gets.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the biological father of my daughter as a drug addict and a drunk  and based on that together with his persistent harassing of my ex. that it would not be such a good idea to tell the child that he is the biological father, because it would be my ex. that would have to then look for him after she have managed to get away from him where he couldn't find her, thus within this purely based on this knowledge and information and some personal incidents found that it would be best to not tell my daughter in that period that I am not her biological dad.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my daughter at an early age will not understand what was going on and then would want to meet with her biological dad and make me and the mother having to look for the him when the mother does not want anything to do with him anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that telling my daughter that I am not her biological dad at an early age will force me and the mother into a consequence we do not want to face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what the consequence might be in my mind and not look at the whole situation on common sense practical solutions that will be best for all people involve and then make the decision and stick by it no matter what.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the fear of what might happen influence my decision making and thus choose not to go with the real truth as it is manifested and choose to hide it to protect the point of fear that exist within me as to what might happen and which is usually what might go wrong actually.



To be continued...................


Thanks.


Larry Manuela



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Saturday, 14 June 2014

318, Who am I in relationship with the word: " Sadness." Part 1

Now I am continuing where I left of yesterday with the self-forgiveness statements. Today I am going to do the self-corrective/commitment statements.

Here is a little of what I wrote in my previous blog.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that because of me not actually being the point of sadness itself within and as myself I cannot be effective in coming up with solutions that will be best for me and also best for all, because the moment I understand sadness within me I will then understand sadness as it is, I can then support others that are also experiencing sadness within them if they have not realized themselves that the sadness they experience is whom they have accepted and allowed themselves to be/become yet, thus through understanding the structure of sadness within me I automatically understand sadness within all human beings, because it is the same construct within all human beings.