Monday, 13 June 2016

Day 375, Who Am I in the Word Support PART 3

I left off in my previous blog writing out the following:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have abused others more than a dozen times in my life, because of having power and control over them, because I see fear in them, instead of choosing to assist and support them to not be in fear and also for myself to assist and support myself to not go into fear myself that turns into rage, that than have an outflow of physical abuse to/towards another as myself.



Now in this blog will continue.

for more context I suggest reading the two previous blogs about this point.


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/05/day-374-who-am-i-in-word-support-part-2.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/04/day-373-who-am-i-in-word-support.html










continuing with Self-Forgiveness:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a victim that needs to fight against a bully or an abuser to protect myself, without seeing/realizing and understanding by fighting against a bully which is an abuser, I am in fact equal and one with the very thing I am against.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a nice person, because by being a nice person I can manipulate others into liking me, accepting what I term me or find myself to be more easily, without seeing/realizing and understanding that what I perceive myself to be is of a personality design within and as my mind conscious system, that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to portray myself as a nice person, because it makes my living process much easier, as if  "easy" is what life should be like, when in reality I am aware that because of what I have accepted and allowed to be done to life in my name, in my participation, either direct or indirect has contributed to an uneasy way of living for myself and for all other forms of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an easy life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want and desire to have an easy life, because I am living a life that is the reverse of how I should be living life, which is to live a life that has results that are best for all of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to be helped when I was aware within and as myself that I do need the help in these moments, however just because of my own self-judgments have refused the help offered by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to let others help me, because I judge them helping in order for me to later on be also of help to them when they need it, thus a form of owing them something because they helped me once.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that others are helping or are wanting to help me, because they want to have something to tell me if one day they need my help and I cannot, than they can rub it in my face how they helped me in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to hold that judgement within me about others and therefore most of the time refuse to be helped, because of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse help based on my self-judgement, because it suits my self-interest, self-created believe that others are out to manipulate me and use me, take advantage of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to turn this self-judgement out within my world and be against it in practical living where I will help individuals to show them that I am helping them without having an agenda, that I am not helping them because I might need there help one day, thus I help them now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that helping someone based on these premises/these points are based on my self-interest need of tackling and fighting against my own self-judgement projected to/towards others as myself as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize and understand that behind this self-judgment is the fear of being abused and used by others as myself within and as myself existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear based character within and as myself that deals with this self-created opinion/self-judgement about others so that I can keep on feeding this deep rooted underneath the veil fear, that hides itself there in order for me to not face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep this fear of others wanting to abuse or use me intact within me in order to generate more energy for my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack in proceeding in working out my inner problems as I should.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to not proceed as I should because it suits my self-interest to put a hold on myself, thus a hold-on on my self-change, a hold-on on facing all of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my self-change, because of thinking and believing that I still have time, I delude myself with myself still having time, and take it too slow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it too slow just because I allow myself to indulge into points I haven't cleared out about myself yet totally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my common sense perspectives about myself even when they are clear as daylight what I am accepting and allowing to exist within me as me in every given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not support myself in the moments of seeing/realizing and understanding that I am letting myself down in not proceeding with what I am aware I must do to change myself in every moment of breath.


Will continue in the next blog.....................


Thanks.



Larry Manuela



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