I have been looking at this point and especially in the political arena and the way public policies are made, that people tend to act as if any law written down on paper is something that can never be changed, as if it is the god that they themselves in their minds belief that exists have written it down, so it cannot be changed nor altered or thrown away. The only ones changing laws are the ones whom are making sure that the laws protect them and enslave the majority that are functioning as SLAVES in a society of master and slaves. So the laws are really really only to protect the masters in the society and give the slaves an illusion that it protects them to.
As a teenager already i didn't like this at all, i found it to be so stupid to tell you the truth,that people will so-called: ''respect the law, that does NOT respect them.'' Acting as if you can't make them change the laws. And what is also not grasped and seen by the people is, that they did NOT have any saying in the laws when they were made but yet when the law is made, the law itself have all the sayings and influence about ones LIFE. I mean WHAT THE FUCK......!!! No-one making laws asked the people if they will agree with the laws or not..?? They just made them and act as if they are the ones who know what would be BEST for all mankind with their stupid laws. Because understand, i am saying ''stupid'' here because the laws are all made to protect individuals against each other and to protect the rich from the poor and the little group as the very very rich against the whole of the rest of humanity...!!!
This is why for example you won't find any lawyer starting a case on their own, against weapon factories or companies for they are creating weapons for the soul purpose to KILL, and the very stupid law is protecting the companies that make weapons. So if they find a so-called: ''criminal on the streets'' carrying a weapon and he is NOT suppose to be carrying a weapon,they will take the weapon from this individual, and charge him with illegal weapon possession and throw him in jail for some months and depending in which country, it can be years.
Now if it was me, and i find a so-called: ''criminal'' with such weapon, especially fire-arms, i will look on the weapon which company built the freaking thing and held them also accountable for creating such thing where one individual can get it and will use it for it's purpose as for KILLING PEOPLE, because weapons are built to KILL, NOT to GIVE LIFE...!!! And the people-------all of them involved within creating the weapons will all go to jail and the company owners will also go to jail and will have a super major fine to pay. And the country where this company exists in will also receive a fine that will be very very high, for they knowingly accept weapon creation in their country, shit that destroy LIFE. I will give them a fine that will be higher then the amount of money they have, exactly what is being done with little people in society when they give you fines that they know you can't pay, because it is too high and exceeds your salary and put you then in DEBT, major DEBT. And then with that money we can create more real jobs and make sure that the ones that become criminals in the streets don't have to make those kind of choices,where they have to have weapons because their lifestyle of surviving in a broken system of abuse is one that is dangerous. This sounds fine isn't it, but in reality i will not win such a case ever in this system, because of what i started off with saying in this blog, that people treat laws as if they are forever and do NOT LOOK at the facts, if the law made was really really protecting ALL LIFE equally or not..?? The reality IS people that; ' we don't even need all these stupid laws, just ONE will suffice.' And that one law is: '' To always in all ways do what is BEST for ALL LIFE, and i mean literally ALL LIFE, not just humans'' In this ONE LAW, it will be very easy to see that weapons are NOT what is BEST for all LIFE, because weapons destroy LIVES, so they will NEVER be allowed to be built...!!!!! Of course the smart ones will argue that anything can be used as a weapon, so we need to create other more advanced weapons to protect us from those that are willing to use those ''anythings'' that can be used as weapons. This is the trap we all fall in. Because if everyone had a descent living and everything that they needed was provided for, i BET you that all these now so-called ''criminals in the streets'' will NOT exist at all. But in the current system this does not exist, because it is a system based on master and slaves, and the monetary system is being used as a means to enslave people not freeing them,and within this system there is only ONE way to get access to money, and that is through having a job/wage-slavery. The rest will be considered if it is not aligned with ''having a job'' to get the freaking money, is considered a ''criminal act.'' So if you can't get a job or if you do, but you don't get paid enough to meet all these wonderful expenses in the system you will be trying to do something else that will be considered criminal to come to the money, because it is NOT a job as capitalism dictates. No-one is looking at the system itself and see how this system itself is the grand producer of criminals in society, and because the system is producing criminals, the system itself is a criminal system protected by real criminals, that will force people in a way to do things they really don't want to do, and then blame them and treat them as if they are the criminals, when it is the freaking stupid system with it's stupid laws/rules/regulations that IS the real crime against humanity and all LIFE.
So we ARE the system, because we ARE the ones accepting and allowing such bullshit to exist and also accepting and allowing some individuals whom are proclaiming that because they have studied in some field of so-called: ''expertise'' they know better and will try and do all they can to protect the system and NOT you as LIFE and anything else as LIFE. They see the system itself as if it is the system that is giving LIFE, this is really psychopathic if you ask me, that someone can even dare have it within them to try and argue about a fucking broken system that does NOT support LIFE in anyways whatsoever and on top of that proclaim to be intelligent. A real intelligent being will NOT be that stupid/irresponsible ever...!!! And people understand i am NOT blaming here, this is what is going on in this world, it is a FACT and you can see it more then clear now in this crisis that is here how governments around the world are doing whatever they can to safe banks and major corporations and charging people with higher and higher taxes to safe the system, and is your LIFE now that they are doing this any better or the BEST LIFE you ever had....???? Time to wake the fuck up...!!! STOP fearing these people and their stupid laws,when we all get together and stand for real as one humanity, not one of these stupid laws will be in our ways, and we will change them all and make one law: ''Always do in all ways what is BEST for all LIFE..!!'' Nothing that is NOT BEST for all life will be here. And this LAW is for real OUR law for all of us will agree, the majority that is now the slaves. Remember we the slaves are much more in number then ''them'' the masters. without Us the slaves there will be NO master, and a system of master and slaves...!!! So STOP being a slave...!!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system that imprison me and all life to exist when i am HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief in people in governments that they have LIFE itself on their number one point in their agenda's when this is and was always clear NOT the case ever..!!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let people that are experts and engineers to built weapons under the auspices to protect life, when i know one can never ever protect LIFE by killing it....!!
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by having no saying in any public policies i was in fact giving my power away for the ones whom are the real abusers to get their way in making laws that will imprison me and all of life.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see laws as something beyond me and that there is where no-one should go and for sure no-one should question, when there is exactly where we are being imprisoned through the written word coined out of the minds of psychopathic individuals, that have NO clue whatsoever what LIFE really means and what to LIVE really means, if they would such laws as are written would have never been written, EVER..!! The laws written down now are imprisoning LIFE not freeing it..!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be lulled into believing the laws are here to protect me when all around me i can only see how the laws are NOT protecting me at all, in contrary i am being imprisoned by them and have to abide by them no matter what, and i have absolutely no saying at all within these laws, especially when it comes to how i am being treated as LIFE within this system of laws made to protect the system and not LIFE, as they are proclaiming that Laws are made for.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how laws at their very starting point was not to prevent atrocities done to LIFE but to more likely increase them and act after that as a bandage. The laws always came in at the aftermath. Laws don't prevent atrocities done to LIFE, and the world is the proof for that, for the world is the the real fact that the shitty laws we have don't prevent abuse to/suffering of LIFE at all, as a matter of fact the laws are causing an increase in suffering and abuse done to LIFE, and this is evident everywhere on this planet.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how laws were deliberately written down in a very complex matter and with lots and lots of back-doors in them to make sure the abusers can get away in the face of FACTS, with their crimes committed against humanity, because they know simplicity is in FACTS, and complexity is in Illusion. In an ILLusion one can argue that a FACT is NOT a fact, but in FACT itself, the fact is what it is; '' A FACT..!! '' So i realize that laws are made to go around FACTS and not to address FACTS, and prevent FACTS that will HARM LIFE...!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that laws are necessary in LIFE, when in reality if i was truly living as one and as equal as LIFE, i will be free for real, and in LIFE and as LIFE there can be NO laws for laws denotes and enforce limitation and separation.
I commit myself to show that laws are not made as some intended to protect LIFE, but more likely to protect the lifestyle of some individuals that see/belief/perceive themselves as more deserving and valued to have a LIFE worth living on the backs of countless lifeforms on this earth.
I commit myself to never ever give up in exposing the atrocities that are HERE committed to humanity and LIFE in general, and to make sure i will be part of those whom will STOP this atrocity so we NEVER ever again create together as humanity such bullshit.
I commit myself to show that the laws in this world are PRO-system and NOT PRO-LIFE....!!!!
I commit myself to in this lifetime i am HERE to dedicate this life that i have to LIFE itself as an example for those to come after i am gone, to never ever accept and allow nothing that is to be LESS then LIFE or want to proclaim to be MORE then LIFE.
I had an interesting realization this morning. I have noticed within myself that when for example i found out that my ex. slept with another guy, the anger to/towards her was not really about her sleeping with another guy per see,but more because of the fear that existed within me that she can experience this other guy being better then me in bed, within which i will be the loser.
I looked at this point within me, and i saw that this is the main reason we, at least i, got angry when i found out that my ex. was sleeping with someone else. So even in moments like this we can see how self-centered/selfish/competitive we really are. And when one does cheat oneself it's also about the same point wanting to be better then others that went before you with that particular person, so the competition to have a feeling of being better then others one will hide this within words like: '' i love you '' '' you are the best lover i ever had '' '' you know exactly how my body works and what buttons to push '' '' ooh my goodness i never came like that ever in my life before '' '' with you i can talk anything, you are very understandable.'' So both the male and the female are saying these to each other when they are cheating, to try and justify and validate their escapades.
The moment one cheats in reality it means that there is something within one's life that one have to take responsibility for and that one thing one is very very afraid of facing it, because one already know within oneself the consequences of facing such things, and the friction/conflict that will derive from it when one does so. But what is being missed is that one is being self-dishonest, thus one is deliberately choosing to run and try and hide from ones own truth that is inside where one know why one don't want to be in the relationship anymore, but fear saying it as it is, and finding out how the other look at it and how they would react, all of it base on assumptions. So what one will do is cheat, go behind the back of the person one is with, and look for the things that one apparently miss in the partner one is with to justify that the cheating is worthwhile, and that trying to ''be happy'' is the main reason one does all this bullshit. In reality one is just a scary/fearful individual who will run and not face his/her consequences that he or she can already see. The decision to NOT wanting to be in a relationship anymore with one particular individual is based on what one ''FEELS'' as energy within oneself, meaning: '' that the energy that was in abundance in the beginning has diminished to such an extent, that there is no more ''FEELINGS'' of ''being happy'' with this person anymore within oneself.
We never question the feelings we have, we just follow them, because we have been brainwashed by society as a whole to always look and try to find all those things that will ignite ''good feelings'' and avoid at all costs those things that will ignite ''bad feelings'' as in emotions. And within this we miss the obvious which is that all these feelings, be them good or bad are all the same thing, just FEELINGS..!! Thus a bad feeling or a good feeling have the same outcome in experience, and that is that one keeps on FEELING, and choose to feel, instead of LIVING..!!! One can clearly see within oneself that when one has a feeling to/towards someone or something that one does not have this same feeling for another someone or something, it is very very limited and restricted within oneself to only be experienced for certain individuals and things, that one see and interpret as being more acceptable to allow oneself to follow the feeling that will appear in oneself, for this particular person or thing.
And the person one will cheat with, within oneself there----- one will experience all the ''good feelings'' within oneself when one knows also within oneself that one is being self-dishonest with oneself for not have taken one's responsibility for oneself and others as oneself as in this case the partner one is in a relationship with. So we never question how it is we can ''feel good'' as any other ''feel good '' experiences when we KNOW we are not suppose to ''feel good'' about something that we know is unacceptable...?? Can you start to see this, yes you the reader..?? Can you honestly say to yourself that you trust your ''good feelings'' and the place they are coming from, which is your mind, when you can be doing something that within your terminology will be ''wrong'' and yet still experience a ''good feeling'' about it...?? I mean WTF....??
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be living in a world where such thing as cheating can exist and be seen as a normal case of circumstances, when i realize it is in fact an abomination and that it is in favor of energy as it's source. LIFE will never cheat on LIFE...!!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even see cheating as a choice/an option, as a way out of the consequences i was afraid to face that i know i must face in order to bring order within myself and others as myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being maybe/possibly less good in bed then others as me, for this will mean to me that i will be a loser.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear cheating, for i have given cheating the value of worth, of something that can be applied in times of difficulties in a relationship that doesn't work any longer. Hence without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am participating in creating more of cheating to exist in this world, where communication for real is diminished to practically nothing and prevention and problem solving, and not to mention responsibility for ones own decisions and actions are not be seen at all.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear of worth with cheating, and hence made sure that cheating will be/is a point in this world where one will so called: ''still be worth something to be loved,'' without seeing/realizing/understanding how i have given permission to energy to be the way LIFE is to be LIVED in this reality, without ever questioning: '' how can LIFE be LIFE if i am taking it as ENERGY...?? ''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make sure that cheating is created as a back-door for those whom are afraid to face their own self-created consequences.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at someone cheating on me, when doing this it is giving my power away to energy and give it existence, give it validation.
I commit myself to show that cheating is being used to avoid confrontation of ones own consequential outflows.
I commit myself to expose cheating for what it is and for what it implies for real in this world, and that it does NOT support LIFE and LIVING in any form whatsoever.
I commit myself to show that when one gets caught in cheating one will go through the consequences anyways that one was trying to run away from, and they may be even worse when that happens, because an accumulation of consequences have taken place when one was busy cheating.
So, now let me venture on work, what i understand when it comes to ''working''..?? There is a reason why i am putting WORKING in quotes. When i have a look at what i and everybody else is doing as what is to be considered ''work'' i must say,that we are not really ''working'' Working should have been about sharing in creativity, honoring ourselves as life and everything else as LIFE, we give to each other our talents, and so we evolve for real. Being of earth working together towards exploring themselves as LIFE, creating themselves as LIFE, a total expansion, where each part knows their place, as the parts that are as a whole one group,so we create with LIFE as ourselves.
In the current system, ''work'' is about survival, it is about keeping a system alive, that DOES NOT support LIFE in anyways whatsoever.!! It is about competing with each other, it is about whom is going to be successful, it is about masters and slaves, it is about making products so money as a belief-system can continue existing through using money to obtain the products, it is about winning and losing. But yet within this kind of system there are people whom belief that they are creative within it for what they do as their ''work.'' Very few individuals are really really creative, and the most creativity is in art, and mostly it is those individuals whom are doing art and they are not famous for it, it is what they LOVE to do, are the ones that are being creative. Now there are people whom like their work, it's what they will tell you, and some really do, but mostly none of them really sat down and question WHY it is they are working...?? They know about the survival thing, and taking care of family and stuff, paying expenses,that are seen as the only responsibility they have to take care of.
Now if you ask any person that have a job, that if they would do it just because it supports LIFE and you won't be rewarded for it, do you think they will do it..??? Of course many will say NO. And this is pretty obvious because everything is depending on money, and only with a job can one get the money. So to many they won't even question themselves about this and will disregard that question immediately, because it will seem impossible, and they are right about it being impossible, but the impossibility lies only within the current system, for one to be able to do something as ''working'' without having to be paid for it, and just because by doing it one will support life as oneself and everyone else as LIFE equally. In an equalmoney system, this will be not only a possibility but an certainty as in: REAL..!! So within this equalmoney system working to support LIFE for free, would be a normal activity of everyone and everyone is highly trained responsible beings, each one in whatever they will be doing that is supporting LIFE, so each is at their very BEST and optimum supporting LIFE always as one and equals.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system of abuse as the current monetary system to exists, where within it i have to work to support this system and NOT LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never dare question the system and just accept everything within and as the system, even when i can see that within the system one is being abused enormously to keep the system going.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how i am using a tool as work as something that will mean creativity of the human body, to enslave myself as the human body using the own functioning creativity of the human body to support a system that does NOT support LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see work as a means to get money, because in this reality in order for one to live one must have money, so we replaced LIFE with money, where money decides who lives and who dies and how they live and die, something life itself will never do to itself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create out of work my own enslavement instead of working as in CREATING as what is the function of the human flesh to use as to create with, instead i made sure to separate myself from my own creative ability and hence enslave myself within and as it, making it a tool where i can force myself and others as myself as life into submission in order for abuse to exist within the physical reality.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make work into something where i need to be paid for doing it, within which i allow myself and others as myself to be enslaved instead of creating in real freedom,which can only be when we are one and equal.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system of work exist that is based on consumerism of resources to turn it into profit. So i work only for profit, either for myself or to make profit for others within which i myself as my human physical body is one of the many resources.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge work as something negative in this world, for that is only what i see in working even when i am using work to get money and to after that to get food and stuff that are necessary, because all that we ever use is coming from the earth and is given freely by the earth, but since we see the earth not as a living being but just a planet we so happen to be living on, and thinking and believing we can do with it whatever we like because it is not alive anyway, it have life on it, but it is not alive as we may belief. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to treat the earth as NOT a living being but just a planet i can take from it for me to continue existing, not ever realizing that my body itself is also from the earth, and so is everything else that are physically here, hence i also treat my body as something i just happen to be living in but i am NOT my body, i am in it, even though i don't have any clue as to who i am for real in it nor how i don't see myself as myself in it,meaning i am NOT aware of myself in it for real, i just follow; 'thoughts/emotions/feelings.'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see work as it exist in this world as only a means to survive, without ever seeing/realizing/understanding that work itself as the functionality of the human design is NOT the problem, the problem lies in the characters in my mind and in all minds that want to use work as something selfish that does not support life at all.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become stressful when i don't have a job, because in this system without a job there is no assess to money at all, and if there is another way to make money that is not the way the system put in place is dictating, it will be labeled as ''illegal/criminal.'' When in reality the illegal/criminal act is the act of putting a system in place that does not GRANT LIFE back to LIFE, making people and everything paying in order to live. Within this i realize that those that put this system in place for them to be the ones in control and believed-power, are as enslaved to the system as everyone and everything else, because for them to have this kind of life-style where they are seen as more valuable and deserving life, they to have to rely on the majority to be slaves through this very system, making them also slaves to it, so now the system is running on automatic pilot and creating more and more DEBT as it was programmed to function as an automated DEBT-creating machine.
Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be enslaved in DEBT as a DEBT-creature, creating only DEBT as a means to live or have a life, when all is in reality a big LIE. DEBT is NOT part of the expressing nature of LIFE.
I commit myself to make sure i will be/become one of those whom will make sure another system will be in place where when one will work within this system it will be because of one exploring and expanding oneself in one's creativity in the form as work, and hence within this work will support LIFE as it should have been from the very start, but is as of right now NOT so at all.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into judgement about work as it being something negative i STOP myself in BREATH and make sure to continue breathing till nothing moves within me and make sure to touch anything that is physically here to remind myself that i am here.
I commit myself to show that the equalmoney system is the only system that will give WORK it's proper value, and that is the functionality of the human body to be creative within and as LIFE to support LIFE as LIFE support ALL and everything.
I use to be a believer. Now a believer in god, a believer in spirits, a believer in theories that people use, that may sound great, and very believable, but are they true or are they lies, and when i say lies, i am talking here about not being REAL.
Let me give the reader(you) an example. I can tell you with a straight face, that i have been to China for example. Now you don't know this, you are going to have to belief me or not belief me, and you will belief me according to how you judge me, or not belief me also according to how you judge me. But you will not look for facts as to find out if i for real went to China or not. If you would see in me, as me being someone nice and well mannered you will probably belief me that i am telling the truth, when in reality i never went to China at all.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be brainwashed into beliefs and took beliefs as more then LIFE itself, without seeing/realizing/understanding that LIFE is the REAL deal, and beliefs are illusions, and for any belief to exist, LIFE is NEEDED, and not the other way around.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take my mind, the place where beliefs exist as more important and as of more value then LIFE itself, so much so, that everything coming from my mind is being glorified and deified and all that is HERE as LIFE is being abused for the illusion as my mind to experience itself as if it is real.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief in love, when love is just another tool of the mind to keep me imprison in it, to make sure i do NOT realize myself as LIFE HERE.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how in love i had to also belief the other person based upon my assumption as what was presented to me as how the person look like and how she behaves or act, and based on these i will then decide if i will let myself follow the feeling as love within me, because i am clearly not the one creating the feeling of love within me, i just experience the feeling of love within me, thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand that I was never in love ever, not even as the feeling itself, because the feeling i just felt it, i was not the creator of the feeling, i was not the one directing myself to feel the feeling as love.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief the that LIFE is something to be experienced, without seeing/realizing/understanding in common sense that LIFE is to be LIVED. I realize that experiencing LIFE is not being one and equal with and as LIFE, because experiencing life is being separated from LIFE, it means i am NOT LIFE, i am just experiencing what i perceive within my mind LIFE should be.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that in order for me to LIVE on this planet i require to be a slave, i require to be in DEBT, i require to pay someone, i require to never question authority, i require to at all costs to follow my thoughts/feelings/emotions, when none of these are necessary at all in order for me to LIVE, because the real ME as the human physical body IS already LIFE manifest, and LIFE always supports itself in all ways.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the beliefs of my parents and from other people without questioning them, because back then i was just a believer and as believer one just belief. Within this i realize that there is no living involved in believing, and beLIEving is always a LIE from the very start, because it takes one away from what is HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create world as i see it in my mind, hence i live in a world where my mental stuff is being superimposed on that which is real,and abuses that which is real for my illusion and delusion to exist. For me to belief my believes, i MUST use that which is HERE, which is real to try and validate and give my belief a value as if it is real. And that which is real itself i am not being responsible at all for it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEf that a beLIEf can be true and real without seeing/realizing/understanding that IF beLIEves were true they would have never been beLIEves, they would just be REAL, no-one would have to beLIEf them in order for them to have a validity of truth.
I commit myself to show that beLIEfs will always be LIES, because the very starting point of any beLIEF it to take someone AWAY from what is HERE, Away from taking their responsibility for what is here.
I commit myself to show that the system of money that we see as so valuable and even more valuable then life is just another belief-system that does NOT have LIFE as value at all within it, it only abuses LIFE and make sure that LIFE suffers.
I commit myself to show that beLIEves MUST come to an END, because they were born, it was not part of what is HERE, had to be invented. What is here as LIFE will always be HERE, because LIFE is HERE.
I am writing here about the death of people whom have died that were close to me, and how i remembered that i did not feel that much or almost anything because they died. I used to have some dogs. Well when they died i did cry. So i questioned myself then, was i normal, because i didn't cry, or felt much to almost nothing,when these people died..??
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i was a kid, to see death of people or humans as a fearful/scary, and ugly thing, so within that when someone dies that is close to me, i don't feel anything,because i have suppressed death since i was a kid thus meaning to not feel for a fearful/scary and ugly thing like death of people.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself create myself into a character that will live as someone not wanting to do with anything that revolves around people dying, because i have accepted and allowed myself when i was a kid to be influenced by the people of my country with their stories about the dead and the way they were dealing with the dead, that looked very scary to me when i was a kid, and very very sad, lots of people crying, especially the woman, so within this i created a hate for death for i saw only suffering somehow when there is death, so within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create another personality that hates death, so when someone close to me dies, i do not feel sadness, i most of the times will feel hate for death itself. So within this, i realize how i have chosen hate instead of sadness when people close to me die, or anybody dies, and the hate is to/towards death itself for i have accepted it as i saw it as a destruction of LIFE.
Thus within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to interpret death as destruction of LIFE, without seeing/realizing/understanding that what death was really taking care of was NOT the body, it is in reality saving the body of going through more pain and real suffering, and is taking care of the parasite that is inside, which is our minds. So i realize death is in reality the invention of LIFE itself to protect itself from unwanted hosts that are trying to abuse and destroy life. So when someone dies, the body( the real being of earth) returns to life as the earth as where it came from, and the parasite which was the host as the personality(-ies) in it's home; 'the mind', is the one that really really dies, it ENDS.!!
So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hate death, for i did not realize nor understand that death in reality was assisting and supporting LIFE, and NOT destroying it as i was believing/thinking, and is taking care of that which is truly killing and destroying and abusing LIFE, which is our hosts as the MIND.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hate death, because of my own ignorance and my own blindness and my own NOT being one and equal with and as LIFE as my human physical body here, and as the whole physical reality of earth and the whole physical existence, for DEATH was making sure to eradicate that which was NOT real and was destroying life.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that being sad was normal, without realizing that sadness as a feeling is of and as the mind, because of and as the mind within me, every time i feel sad the mind is in reality sucking like a parasite on my body and transforming little parts of my body into energy and what i feel as sadness is in reality the mind eating as what was transformed into energy, so i am feeling the killing of parts of my body that has become energy for my mind to consume and to continue with it's existence within my body as a host as the parasite, and for this i have invented a word for, which i have come to call: ''sadness.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear death for i always saw death as something ''bad'' ''wrong'' and ''negative'' when in reality death are none of these and also it is NOT the opposite of these which are ''good'' ''right'' and ''positive'', it is just what it is HERE as assistence and support to LIFE, so that LIFE don't go into an eternal abuse and destruction.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the fear of death to the words: ''bad'' ''wrong'' and ''negative'' and to their definitions making it then a reason to fear death, without seeing/realizing/understanding how it is that only in my mind fear can exist and labeling of the fear as many fears as the words, will make fear seem as many, when in reality it is always just ONE fear dressed up as many fears in the forms and symbols as words with their definitions rising out of memories.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my self-created belief of what death is or can be,and then hate my own self-created belief about death, without investigating more deeply what is death really is..?? So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character that is acting out as if it knows things, but it doesn't and create assumptions about things and then belief it's own assumptions and take them as real without ever really knowing the thing it formed a belief of, what it really is in fact.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never have trusted my own common sense even when i was a kid, when i had some realizations about this death thing, but took my realizations and transform them into HATE, because of not being able to understand my own common sense, and also of being devoid of common sense itself, was growing up not living using common sense as a way to see what is going on for real, but was learning using my knowledge, and taking knowledge of others that went before me. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be the continuation of those that went before me, which were all living out of memories and memories are NOT what is HERE. In common sense i always see what is here alone, and if what is here is what is best for all LIFE or not, very simple.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself into an illusion, and therefore me as LIFE had to invent a way for the illusion to STOP abusing myself as LIFE and everything else as LIFE, which is what we know as DEATH. So death is the illusion eraser.
I commit myself to show to those whom can now see and are ready to see, that death is NOT what it seem,and it is NOT to be feared, it is just a tool in life as any other tool to make sure life is not eternally abused and make to suffer.
I commit myself to show in common sense that the symbols and words we use for death are all symbols and words of fear, for we as fear only see in everything ourselves as fear as what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.
I commit myself to show that having no feelings at all when people die, doesn't mean that one is not normal, it only means that in one's mind one have a different assumption about death which is also coming from the same mind as the others that are believing that they are normal because they feel something for the one's that they knew died, which i again coming from the mind just another assumption, because none know what death is for real, in fact.!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed a world where money influences the way we live with each other and with everything else to a degree where the money has taken the place of LIFE, and make sure that LIFE suffers.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define life according to money and act as if life is something that can be defined.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to weight my relationships in the past with money as seeing it and judging whom it is i am going to be with depending on the amount of money they have, either if they have lots of money or very little, but yet the money issue was there.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to consider money as more valuable then life in my life, without seeing/realizing/understanding how money as i give it value is not supportive to what is really valuable, it works against LIFE, which is what is really valuable. Within this i realize that nothing can escape LIFE, not even death, because even death must take place in LIFE. So the death of the monetary system as it exist now, that does NOT support life as it should, MUST DIE..!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand how money within relationships with people always brings a relationship of friction/conflict, because the money i have accepted and allowed to be in LIFE is not one and equal in supporting me as LIFE, it is against my own support as me as LIFE. Thus by the very starting-point it is already in conflict/friction with LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to measure things as valuable in this world according to the price they have been given as the amount of money they are worth according to the system of DEBT, without seeing/realizing/understand that i was not valuing the things as to their functionality and support they can give to LIFE, because within the current system things are valued according to how much profit they can accumulate for one individual or a few individuals. So within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to value things according to the profit i can generate out of it, or the so called: 'market value'' the thing have.
NOTE: i use the word ''thing'' in the sentence above, because in the system as it exists now, everyTHING have a price human/animals/plant/and everyTHING else on the planet, even the planet itself for what it has as resources.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imprison myself to a monetary system that supports imprisonment instead of supporting freedom of expression as LIFE in ways that are best for all LIFE always.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself into reactions to/towards my ex. girlfriend, i STOP---------BREATHE......and make sure i do not feed the reaction(s) within me and keep breathing till the reaction(s) don't exist anymore within me,and make sure i am touching something that is physically here.
I commit myself to show that money in this world as it exist today at the moment does NOT support LIFE in anyways whatsoever, and make sure to debunk and expose the monetary system as it exist now, so others may start to question it and realize that we have to get together and stop this atrocity we have accepted and allowed to be here in our names, and make sure we transform this money into money that support ALL LIFE which will be the EQUALMONEY system.
I commit myself to use the money i make now within this system of abuse and direct it to/towards what is supporting LIFE, and not for selfish purposes that benefit only me and not LIFE in it's entirety.
I commit myself to make sure to show how the monetary system works within the working-place and makes of everyone in the working-place just wage-slaves and nothing more, with the belief that because one is being ''paid'' that this is acceptable and justifiable.
I commit myself to make sure to learn everything that is thrown at me that i am capable of learning so i can support myself better and the people around me better and also the group of people i am in so we can move faster as group to bring about a world that is truly best for all LIFE.
I commit myself to work within the group of desteni, and together bring about a solution towards the problems in this world that are best for all LIFE, till this is done..!!
I reached home today and i saw her message on my phone, and this is still a point that i am reacting to, because i always somehow let her get me stressed with this money thing. She asked me if i could help her with € 200,- this week,because she really needs it for the children to eat, and she does not know how she is going to get it. Every time she called or i get her message i immediately go into defense mechanism, because in my mind i am already thinking: '' ooh fuck she needs money again.'' Now folks, it is not that she might be lying or something, because she does live in a fucked up situation, and what she cannot understand is, that i am working but my expenses are all sucking all my money,so much so, that i cannot even take a vacation from work, or get sick because for me it will mean less job,less money-------- because i am being paid for the days i work alone, i don't have a steady job. I have a steady none-steady job, literally. Because i work via a working agency within the factory, thus the factory have a monopoly with this working agency. And what does the working agency do..?? They pay you only for the days/hours you have worked, and the more you work, you will accumulate some hours that will turn into days so you can take your vacation when you have had enough days. For example; if you have worked only 3 month, you won't have much days of vacation, it won't accumulate to even a week. You built per month 16 hours of vacation if you have worked 40 hours a week in that month. And you have the option to also instead of taken the days, let them pay you the days.This may sound so fantastic, but when there is for example no work at the factory and i have been sent home till there is work again, and let's say it will take 2 weeks, well within these 2 weeks i will have to take the vacation days, because i will not be payed like the ones working there steady. So it will be bye bye vacation days. Cool system isn't it...?? NOT....!!!!
This whole working-agency thingy here has become very popular in this country, because it is a way to get rid of someone much easier, when you don't need them anymore, and because they get into a monopoly thing with the working-agency you will never as someone who is looking for a job, get a chance to get into that factory or company. The working-agency also have a level-system, and this entails that the longer you're work without interruptions, meaning without breaks in between, like for example you worked 7 month and then was sent home for 6.5 month, well when you come again you will start all the way form the start on the level-ladder. and they have the level A,B and C. When one reach level-C, only then in this phase they will pay you when there is no work for you and you have to stay home, it's like you have become a steady worker for the working agency. To finish level-A and move to level-B takes one 78 weeks of working it doesn't have to be continuous, and if the staying home is 26 weeks(6.5month), you will start at the beginning. In level-B you get a contract for a ''certain period of time'' is what they call it. And these contracts can be a maximum of 8 contracts, now last year i have signed a contract of a year of certainty so to speak with this working-agency and the factory that at least this year i will be working for the factory via the working-agency for this whole year, because the factory likes the way i work, they see ''potential'' in me.
So in level-B before i move to level-C i will have to work for 2 years, because every 3 month you get to sign a new contract of 3 month within the 1 year contract that i had signed for 1 year of ''certainty'' between the factory and the working-agency. Cool way, isn't it------ this system..?? .......NOT.....!!! They do this, because they want to be certain that maybe possibly you won't make it that long, and have to start all over on level-A again.
So this is a cool deal for the working-agency and for the factory or company, because for the both of them it is a way of making money, the working-agency makes money on the back of the worker, and the factory or company makes money by saving money when using the worker of the working-agency, because when there is not much work, they can sent you home. They have no obligations with you, you are not tied to them as someone who would have a steady job there. Someone with a steady job, they would have to pay him/her if they are to sent them home if the work is slow. So what is the consequences of these kind of deals between working-agencies and factories or companies...??? That the people like me whom are looking for a steady job won't find one that easy,and especially that we are now in the crisis, one have to be very lucky. Because the working-agencies are taking all the available jobs over, that one could have gotten oneself if one was looking for a job,and then after working for 6 month then becomes a steady worker. This is something of the ''good old days'' in this country. So one is being forced in a way to go to these working-agencies, because they have all the jobs, the perfect master/slave scenario. And one other thing, working for the working-agency one will get paid less, then the ones that work there as steady-workers, doing the same job, and sometimes even working harder then them, because of the pressure of trying to keep the work as long as possible, and the fear of getting to be sent home because they don't like the way you work, which most of the times means: '' NOT VERY HARD WORKING''. Perfect system isn't it..??? ......NOT....!!! It is perfect for the ones making money on ones back, but not for the ones DOING the actual/practical/physical work itself..!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated every time my ex. girlfriend calls me or message me out of the blue, because i immediately go into fear, mixed with anger because i know she is going to ask for money for the kids that i don't have, and expect me to do so magic to get to the money, or make some more debts, as long as she can get the money.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always have disputes about money with my ex. girlfriend, i see that in the past when i was with her and still now that i am NOT with her this money thing was always a stressful thing for me with her, because i can see she is not good in handling with money, she wants to live as if she got a lot of money, when she does not, and this have consequences.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my ex.girlfriend for the way she deals with money, that i see as in being negative, and having major consequential outflows that are not only for her, but also for the people near her.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated with my ex.girlfriend every time the money topic comes in, because she does not see the consequential outflows of her decisions that she makes with money now.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system exist where there is dispute and irritation within and between individuals about something as is the monetary system that is a belief-system, and a belief system can never ever actually be real, it can though superimpose what it is on that which is real in order to be experienced as real, but not that it IS real.
let me give an example here for the self-forgiveness statement above. Lets say one have an apple-tree and when there are apples on the tree one can get them and eat them. But the moment someone introduce something else like money to get to eat the apple and give the money more importance then the apple itself that is real, one have made oneself a slave to this money that then is going to be the only way one can get to eat the apple that grows out of/from the earth for free. So the money is not real and the apple is real.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow a system to exist that abuses me as life and all/everything/everyone else as life.Thus within this i have allowed a third party in that is NOT even real to govern over and above that is real and even be treated as more valuable than that instead of that which is really real.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system exists where i have no choice within it, because all the choices i could have had have been sealed as NO choices within the laws/rules/regulations that protect the system against LIFE. Within this all the apparent choices i will make that seem as my choice are really choices that were already made for me, which is clearly obvious when the only choices you can make in this system are choices that support the system, of you try and made choices that will support life, the system will not support you, because supporting life within the system means being against the system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system exist where i have to buy myself a LIFE, and not LIVE as one as equal as life HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give LIFE a limited value as DEBT, where i have to be in DEBT in order for me to have LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to base relationships with money, either directly or indirectly. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a judge as money between people's relationship to be the decider of the relationship going to work or not work,instead of me taking my own directive principle on what would be BEST for all life as the decision always, in all ways.
This is a point that i have faced in the past and that needs to be investigated some more. With this title here, i am implying that when i reached a certain point within myself or i have reached a certain halt in the perspective of not knowing what to do next,and even when i do get a glimpse of what it could be that i can do in the next moment, but yet again as you may know this is a projection of the mind.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i arrived at a moment in my life when i have reached a certain point that might have looked liked it was a difficult point and then when i got it, i immediately went into my mind projection and to justify my own glory on one side, and other side as my fear of the unknown, when i will ask myself the question: ''what now..??''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how my mind always tries to keep me in it, the moment i reach a point of silence, where there is no movement within me, my mind will immediately move into projections, giving all it got in order for me to not be HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to every time i had a woman and i have managed to get her into bed and was ready to engage into sexual activity, this question will pop up within me, indicating that i am not sure how she is going to react to me having sexual intercourse with her for real, that this was always a surprise, because all the words and kisses before that moment were just to lead to that one moment and then when the moment is really here, then doubt and fear of being seen as not good enough step in, but within the question hidden as: ''what now''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide doubt and fear of not being good enough into and as the thought: ''what now''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link the though to actual/practical/physical movement as touch of bodies to a thought in my mind as: ''what now'' without realizing how this one thought in my mind will make me use sex as a performance instead of a practical/physical touch as bodies HERE one and equal. Thus meaning that i will then focus on the result of the partner i am with when she will validate it as ''good'' or ''fantastic'' so within totally being separated from the bodies touching each other and being here one and equal within and as the touch of the bodies as myself one and equal.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought: ''what now'' to a moment of nothingness within me, as if i am not suppose to stay in that moment of nothingness, without me seeing/realizing/understanding that in that little moment of nothingness i was still here, because i will immediately follow my thoughts and it will happen so fast that i will miss that moment of nothingness and the realization that in that nothingness i was still here.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive/interpret the thought ''what now'' as negative, because it is a moment of a standing still when nothing moves, and this nothing moving within my mind is not a place to be, as the ego as i am in my mind fears none movement of thoughts, thus meaning that thoughts are not running a mock at all, for me as the ego within my mind fears nothingness, and interpret it as death, it's own death.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought ''what now'' to the word death and the definition of the word death, within which death in my mind means the END, and me as ego in my mind as my mind don't want to END, thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself within my own mind as the ego to create a belief in my mind itself that it can end, without seeing/realizing/understanding that it can give itself back to life as what it has become as energy within this giving of itself back to life will remain in life as the oneness and equality of/as life, because as energy was derived from life, so it would then be giving life back to life as what life has given from itself to be/become energy.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that with the thought ''what now'' i was creating a defense mechanism in order for me to not face the real me as the nothingness that is here, but yet very much alive.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that also that with the thought ''what now'' i was also creating a another defense mechanism for me to NOT find out that me as the main character within my mind is not real and is just trying and attempting to be real by abusing and sucking for energy out of that which is real, thus finding out that the me that i belief i am is not real is not a way my mind wants me to go, so will avoid this at all costs in the forms of thoughts/feelings/emotions as judgements/justifications/reactions.
I commit myself to show that the mind will always find ways to make sure it is not faced with the reality of itself, which is; that it is not real through my writing and my self-forgiveness statements and my commitments to life as i walk myself out of my mind and back into the physical body.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into the thought of ''what now'' to immediately remind myself through my breath and STOP in that moment and just breathe and make sure i am touching something physical for me to not loose myself within my mind.
I commit myself to STOP treating my mind as something separate from me, but as me, because it is as of right now what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world, in this reality, a mind amalgamated within and as my human physical body.
I commit myself to for in the future when i will engage in sex, to leave the mind out of the whole physical touch and just be here as the touch as how my body with another body react to being touched and touching other body and simultaneously also staying in my breath one and equal.
Can you imagine that the whole of humanity is into this character at some time in their lives, even when they will tell you that they are not a someone like that..??
And why do i say this..?? Because the whole system we have accepted and allowed to be here in our names, is one of competition and within competition there is always a winner and a looser, and no-one wants to be looser, and a looser can mean many things within the system. Let me give a few examples.
A looser,because one didn't study well at school and now is doing a shitty job and low paid.
A looser, that one have to loose in a match of some sorts.
A looser because one cannot get the kind of girl/man wants to be with, or wish to be with.
Now there are more of course, but you do get the point. So within one's life one have always try to not loose, and within this make sure one wins, or is the winner or a silent winner,where it will be called: ''success''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always seek to be the best that i can be at some physical applications, for i saw that within some physical application i have more talent to make it work, it can be sports, or any physical work,which i will have or create a certain affinity to/towards what it is i am busy with, my body will align more easy to the task then other people, and thus within this i will use this talent to make myself belief that i am superior to others or better then others because i can do something that they can't do or can't do as good as i do it,and yet i will hid this and say that i am just exploring for myself how far i can train my body to be perfect for me, but yet within this exist the veil as just wanting to be better then others and the fear of not being wanted and the fear of loss.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how within my character as ''better then you'' is hiding another character that is ''fearing you'' within which is in reality me fearing me, because it is only me, that can go through my own fear, no-one can experience my fear for me, so the character of ''fearing you'' is in reality me ''fearing me.'' Thus the ''fearing you'' is just a masquerade to hide the real fear of myself fearing myself as fear as the fear of loss.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system of ''better then'' exist as the world system where i can play out within it my character as ''better then you'' and wherein others as me can also play the character as ''better then you'' without none of us seeing/realizing/understanding how ''better then you'' is just ONE character played out by all the personalities within this world, but yet each will play this one universal character in their own way,so this character can have the illusion that it is/exist as, the appearance of being real, because of the various bodies that are being abused for playing it out to exist.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny that i am playing this character within myself and also to/towards others as myself outside myself, because i know that wanting ''to be better in this world'' is considered to be negative, where one should not be, or that which is wrong and bad. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to knowingly hide my fear of being seen/perceived/looked at as being ''bad/wrong/negative'' for these are the very things i was taught to avoid at all costs, without seeing/realizing/understanding that the avoidance was only being hidden in my mind as a secret but when my physical action and the world stage where i have to play out the character will always reveal the character, because the odd thing about characters is, that they want to play out their character, want to give it life, so it cannot hide forever in the mind as secret.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that hiding the character as ''better then you'' when my action as the character as ''better then you'' must be that character,it cannot play the character as ''NOT better then you'' when it is the character as ''better then you'' this will make it cancel itself out, like: ''like cures like''
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how each character is controlled by their own self-wished to be real,which for this they must use/misuse/abuse that which is real in order for them as characters within my mind to have the validation of myself as the main character within my mind to experience itself as if it is real, through the mind - physical relationship it has established within and as me as the main character within my mind.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the character as ''better then you'' to gain what i perceive that must be mine within this world in whatever form it comes, making sure i have more arms at my disposal so my character as the ''better then you'' can have it's glory if it could manage to make the body dance as it wants it to dance, where when the winning happens the main character can exalt itself as the energy that will be experienced as ''pride'' for the achievement, a sort of a mental coming.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself within this character as ''better then you'' always a picture of myself as the winner, when all the time it is just me as the main character producing and using decoy characters attached to itself as layers of defense within my own mind as my own creations, just to boost some fleeting energy, because the main character with it's soldier decoys cannot survive without energy for energy is all they are, and the real character that they use/misuse/abuse as host which is the real me as my human physical body can continue being sucked at, under my own watch without me never ever stepping in/forth and take my directive principle in STOPPING me within and as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that it is only through my acceptance and allowance that such thing and things as character(s) can exist within me as me, and that all it takes is my firm decision and stance to STOP me of creating me as characters that need ME as the real character that is HERE as the human physical body that at the moment i am not yet one and equal with and as in order for them to exist.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create whole scenario's of how i will play this character as ''better then you'' out in the real world outside so i can be blissfully energized if i get to be the winner outside that in it's path to become the winner within my mind, it had killed many little parts of me as the REAL character as my human physical body to transform it into energy for the fleeting bliss experience as the main character as the ego within and as me as my mind.
I commit myself to stop little by little, breath by breath to keep on creating characters that does not serve me as the real character as the human physical body that is here for real on planet earth.
I commit myself to show that the character as ''better then you'' is abusive to life, because it puts one in a position of thinking and believing that one is in fact more then another, when in reality we are one and equal as physical beings here on earth, having each certain specific talents that when brought together as one it will equally benefit all.
I commit myself to show that one can stop oneself of creating characters in one's mind as i walk little by little myself out of characters with using the tools of self-forgiveness in self-honesty and with my correcting applications/commitments to life.
I commit myself to through my writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments to debunk/delete all characters within me so others can recognize same patterns as layers as characters in them and start their own process of debunking and deleting characters in the mind that don't serve life, but abuse life, for all characters are energy parasites.
Within this post i will be doing self-forgiveness on memories and thoughts related to time.
So now i am having this memory of me always looking at the clock as a means to measure my lateness, and not how much time i still have. I always look at the clock and say within myself:'' holy fuck, is it already that late, and i haven't done shit yet.'' So i will be doing self-forgiveness on time.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see/look at time as translating the time as me being always late within myself, even though i am the kind of individual that is 99% of the time way on time, but yet i have this fear within me of being late, hence that is why i am always 30 to 40 minutes early sometimes even an hour early wherever i have to be, i always make sure that i have time to spare so for any reason something would happen, the possibility for me to still make it on time exists.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link time to a negative judgement within me, because in my life NOT being on time was seen as negative and within the system not being on time is punished and punishment is also negative. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge time as negative and link time together with negativity also with punishment.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that right now as i am writing my self-forgiveness statements see that i also fear negativity and punishment for being negative, without ever seeing/realizing/understanding how i am just fearing my own fear because in myself there is fear and outside myself as in the world system is also fear, the world system itself is a system of fear, it is a fearful thing.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to come as far as to let fear exists within me and then fear it. Hence within this----------because i am fear inside of myself i create fear outside of myself also and not only for myself but for all others as myself as life here. Thus everything i touch as anyone else touches is always a fearful thing, because all we ever were was just fearful beings, creating exactly that which we are. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself only as fear and nothing else.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear humanity as humanity is the manifestation of fear, and within that humanity will try to veil it with a creation out of this fear that will be experienced as it's opposite, which is LOVE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word love to fear and hence the word fear to time, creating within my mind the perfect scenario as i live in this world that is my creation together with others that have exactly these three things in it, which are; '' fear, time and love.'' Within this i forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how fear is the basis for the other two, thus that the other two would have never existed if it wasn't for fear, thus meaning that me as fear is the creator of time as fear and of love as fear, because my starting point is and has always been just fear, because i created myself as fear, and from this all i will ever create will have it's foundation in and as fear, as the whom i am, as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how far deep in the rabbit hole i managed to put myself, creating myself as fear that i will create a whole system for me to only experience myself as fear in many many ways, and through many characters i play myself and other parts of fear will play out as themselves together with me, creating together a perfect scenario of a fearful world,where fear govern and control all aspect of my living and their living.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even fear sticking to my breath, because i have accepted and allowed myself to live so much in my mind that i fear loosing living in my mind, so every time i am in breath and i am not participating in my mind, i will create this fear within me, but that will come dressed up as in a positive way for me not to ignore it but embrace it and before i know it, i am a machine running thoughts.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear time, because time means to me that there is an END and an END is not what i would like, i would like continue living, thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear continuation of living and create through this the very END. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw how within me, fear is something that ENDS, and ENDING is something that is fearful.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to veil myself as fear in order to try and prevent myself as the END of myself as FEAR, because FEAR as what i have accepted and allowed to be/become can never be LIFE. Life is for the expression of LIFE itself, and expression of and as LIFE is NOT fear/fearful, it is LIVING.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw how i connected: '' fear/time/love'' to LIFE and hence within this abused LIFE, because for anything that is NOT LIFE to attempt to be real or at least be experienced as real, it have to depend on LIFE, so i abused LIFE for that which is NOT real, which are: '' fear/time/love.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how and when i am in my breath here that as here within and as my breath there is no time, there is no fear, there is no love, just me as breath here within and as my human physical body. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the greatest fear that i have ever invented within myself and that is the fear of: ''LIVING''
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how in me creating myself as fear--------- i veiled myself in a fear that is the opposite of the real fear i have, and the veiling fear is the fear of DEATH, because the fear of death is not so great as the fear of LIVING that is within me. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the fear of death to cover my greatest fear, which is the fear of LIVING, because i know deep down within myself that i will find out even in death what living and LIFE is all about, but when i am HERE, i make sure as myself as fear to NOT find out now. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not give me the opportunity to find out now, the whom i am as LIFE HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to veil myself in an illusion knowing that veiling and illusion can never ever STOP LIFE expressing LIFE, because both rely on LIFE to exist, and their reliance as me as them within me, is one of abuse, one of a parasitic nature, one of sucking on LIFE, so when LIFE leave me, i as the illusion as the veiling and the illusion itself ENDS forever.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to measure time within my mind as memories, as memories that shoot of in the form of thoughts, that will preoccupy me into oblivion, removing me far far away from me finding out the whom i am as LIFE, for the whom i am as LIFE cannot be found in memories, because memories are creations out of me as fear. Thus i can only find out the whom i am for real in me being HERE one and equal as LIFE
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear now as i write my self-forgiveness statements, because i see/realize/understand that for me to realize myself as LIFE HERE, i must go through the memory of me as fear,as all that i have created myself to be/become as fear to release myself from it, thus seeing/realizing/understanding how i created myself as fear that are now as memories as the whom i am now in this world, in this reality. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself only as a fearful thing, because all i have done was creating myself as fear in many many ways, layers upon layers of fear as characters of fear in an horror theater that is also fearful.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to face myself as fear because of fear, within which i see now how crazy this is, to fear my own fear, which is all i have ever ever been until now: '' a fearful being, creating itself in a fearful existence/reality to be experienced as itself.'' Within this using and abusing LIFE to make the experience have an appearance of being experienced as real, but REAL it will never BE.
I commit myself to show through my writings, self-forgiveness and my commitments to life that fear is all we have ever been and that there is a way out in the form of self-forgiveness as a tool to release the memories and layers and self-honesty to identify what one has become as the lie that is NOT LIFE.
I commit myself that whenever i see myself going into fear, or thoughts that will ignite fear to STOP--------------- Breathe and make sure i am touching myself or something that is physically here so i don't loose myself within my mind.
I commit myself to STOP little by little my apparent fear of lateness connected to time, till time is only real as me as breath here as the real time that exists, which is breath-time.
I commit myself to STOP trying to veil myself from myself, for veiling is another illusion within an illusion as an illusion that does not serve LIFE at all, and hence bring myself here as breath within and as my human physical body one and equal.
I commit myself to show through my writings,self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE how far deep we have layered ourselves as fear as i walk little by little myself back into the physical, back into LIFE, out of my mind.
I commit myself to STOP myself in breath every time i see myself going into linking and connecting time to negativity and punishment,and forgive myself for doing so,hence walk myself little by little out of this layer of fear i have created myself into.