In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Day 89, I Am Better Then You Character.
Can you imagine that the whole of humanity is into this character at some time in their lives, even when they will tell you that they are not a someone like that..??
And why do i say this..?? Because the whole system we have accepted and allowed to be here in our names, is one of competition and within competition there is always a winner and a looser, and no-one wants to be looser, and a looser can mean many things within the system. Let me give a few examples.
A looser,because one didn't study well at school and now is doing a shitty job and low paid.
A looser, that one have to loose in a match of some sorts.
A looser because one cannot get the kind of girl/man wants to be with, or wish to be with.
Now there are more of course, but you do get the point. So within one's life one have always try to not loose, and within this make sure one wins, or is the winner or a silent winner,where it will be called: ''success''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always seek to be the best that i can be at some physical applications, for i saw that within some physical application i have more talent to make it work, it can be sports, or any physical work,which i will have or create a certain affinity to/towards what it is i am busy with, my body will align more easy to the task then other people, and thus within this i will use this talent to make myself belief that i am superior to others or better then others because i can do something that they can't do or can't do as good as i do it,and yet i will hid this and say that i am just exploring for myself how far i can train my body to be perfect for me, but yet within this exist the veil as just wanting to be better then others and the fear of not being wanted and the fear of loss.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand how within my character as ''better then you'' is hiding another character that is ''fearing you'' within which is in reality me fearing me, because it is only me, that can go through my own fear, no-one can experience my fear for me, so the character of ''fearing you'' is in reality me ''fearing me.'' Thus the ''fearing you'' is just a masquerade to hide the real fear of myself fearing myself as fear as the fear of loss.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system of ''better then'' exist as the world system where i can play out within it my character as ''better then you'' and wherein others as me can also play the character as ''better then you'' without none of us seeing/realizing/understanding how ''better then you'' is just ONE character played out by all the personalities within this world, but yet each will play this one universal character in their own way,so this character can have the illusion that it is/exist as, the appearance of being real, because of the various bodies that are being abused for playing it out to exist.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny that i am playing this character within myself and also to/towards others as myself outside myself, because i know that wanting ''to be better in this world'' is considered to be negative, where one should not be, or that which is wrong and bad. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to knowingly hide my fear of being seen/perceived/looked at as being ''bad/wrong/negative'' for these are the very things i was taught to avoid at all costs, without seeing/realizing/understanding that the avoidance was only being hidden in my mind as a secret but when my physical action and the world stage where i have to play out the character will always reveal the character, because the odd thing about characters is, that they want to play out their character, want to give it life, so it cannot hide forever in the mind as secret.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that hiding the character as ''better then you'' when my action as the character as ''better then you'' must be that character,it cannot play the character as ''NOT better then you'' when it is the character as ''better then you'' this will make it cancel itself out, like: ''like cures like''
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how each character is controlled by their own self-wished to be real,which for this they must use/misuse/abuse that which is real in order for them as characters within my mind to have the validation of myself as the main character within my mind to experience itself as if it is real, through the mind - physical relationship it has established within and as me as the main character within my mind.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the character as ''better then you'' to gain what i perceive that must be mine within this world in whatever form it comes, making sure i have more arms at my disposal so my character as the ''better then you'' can have it's glory if it could manage to make the body dance as it wants it to dance, where when the winning happens the main character can exalt itself as the energy that will be experienced as ''pride'' for the achievement, a sort of a mental coming.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself within this character as ''better then you'' always a picture of myself as the winner, when all the time it is just me as the main character producing and using decoy characters attached to itself as layers of defense within my own mind as my own creations, just to boost some fleeting energy, because the main character with it's soldier decoys cannot survive without energy for energy is all they are, and the real character that they use/misuse/abuse as host which is the real me as my human physical body can continue being sucked at, under my own watch without me never ever stepping in/forth and take my directive principle in STOPPING me within and as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that it is only through my acceptance and allowance that such thing and things as character(s) can exist within me as me, and that all it takes is my firm decision and stance to STOP me of creating me as characters that need ME as the real character that is HERE as the human physical body that at the moment i am not yet one and equal with and as in order for them to exist.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create whole scenario's of how i will play this character as ''better then you'' out in the real world outside so i can be blissfully energized if i get to be the winner outside that in it's path to become the winner within my mind, it had killed many little parts of me as the REAL character as my human physical body to transform it into energy for the fleeting bliss experience as the main character as the ego within and as me as my mind.
I commit myself to stop little by little, breath by breath to keep on creating characters that does not serve me as the real character as the human physical body that is here for real on planet earth.
I commit myself to show that the character as ''better then you'' is abusive to life, because it puts one in a position of thinking and believing that one is in fact more then another, when in reality we are one and equal as physical beings here on earth, having each certain specific talents that when brought together as one it will equally benefit all.
I commit myself to show that one can stop oneself of creating characters in one's mind as i walk little by little myself out of characters with using the tools of self-forgiveness in self-honesty and with my correcting applications/commitments to life.
I commit myself to through my writing, self-forgiveness and my commitments to debunk/delete all characters within me so others can recognize same patterns as layers as characters in them and start their own process of debunking and deleting characters in the mind that don't serve life, but abuse life, for all characters are energy parasites.