Saturday 24 August 2013

Day 258, The '' THEY and THEM '' vs the '' ME and WE/US '' Part 3

Now within this post i am continuing with the next dimension of this pacticular point, which is going to be, the Imagination-Dimension.







Imagination-Dimension:


***    I imagine me talking to '' them and they'' and seeing myself being in a argument with them instead of an understanding.


***   I imagine me saying things to '' them and they'' that shut them and they up, that they just have no way of getting themselves out of it.


***  I imagine me saving the day for us by shutting the ''them and they'' out.





Self-Forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself being in an argument with the ''them and they'' as i imagine ''them and they'' in my mind and of course that i must be the one that is right and must win the argument, and thus within this not seeing/realizing/understanding that i am busy participating in a delusion created by myself to protect my own Self-interest as to keep the character/personality within and as my mind being the directive principle of my decisions.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give myself as the characters/personalities in my mind power over myself just in order for me to not have to take my own self-responsibility to stand within and as myself to do that which is BEST for all life, the only choice that will ever be REAL.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to in a moment be here within and as my breath to slow myself down in order to see how it is that the ''them and they'' including the ''me'' in my mind are all ME, as characters and personalities that are within and as my mind and my own creation and that all of them are NOT HERE as in the practical physical world, they are all in my mental world, thus my own delusion, using pictures presentations of actual people in reality and then based that picture presentation within my mind as IF i am argumenting with the real ones, when they are all just pictures as memories of real people out of actual reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use pictures of other real human bodies within my mind to justify and argument my own way out as if there is really some discussion going on, when in reality i am all alone with myself,with my memories deluding myself into thinking/believing that i am actually having a conversation/discussion/argument with other people.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine ''them and they'' being shutted up by me and that they just have no way of getting themselves out of it, thus playing the game of being a winner of arguments within and as my mind and in this also giving myself a position of superiority over ''they and them,'' within/as my mind consciousness system.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel and be superior to another within and as my mind thus in this matter making sure that this whole superiority and inferiority game of abuse continues within and as this physical reality, because as i accept and allow it to be within and as myself as my mind consciousness system, i am then accepting and allowing it too in the physical reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to imagine me saving the day for us from ''them and they,'' as in seeing myself as being a hero to humanity, as in making myself feel special about myself as if i am this special human being.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel special about myself within and as my mind consciousness system, wherein i am validating my self-interest to think/belief that i am more then others and  separating myself form others within and as my mind consciousness system and thus also within and as the physical reality, in relation to my iamgination about saving the day by shutting ''them and they'' out.





Self-Commitment statements:


When and as i see myself go into or i am about to go into imagining myself being in an argument within my mind consciousness system with other people i STOP, take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves withing me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am having arguments within and as my mind consciousness system to maintain my personalities/characters that i play within my own mind consciousness system alive and well and thus having always something for myself to participate within and as my mind consciousness system and continue keeping my mind consciousness system directing me instead of me directing myself.

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into or i am abotu to go into using my memories of people within real life without slowing myself down to make sure i do NOT participate in them, I STOP---------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear stalbe and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am using memories of picture presentation of real people in this world to play the game in my mind of blaming ''them and they,'' in order for me to feel good about myself and order to have someone or some people being the point of being responsible and NOT me, and thus within real life the same will manifest where i see these people in real life as responsible and not me.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into seeing myself within my own mind havign arguments with all the invented personalities/characters that are all within and as my own mind, i STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am using more characters/personalities within my own mind consciousness system to feel superior about other people in the real world, like i am training myself for IF one day something like that will happen, i am prepare for it, NOT seeing/realizing/understanding that in my mind i must always be the one that wins and is superior, thus having nothing to do with reality in every moment of breath.


When and as i see myswelf  going into or i am about to go into feeling special about myself using my imagination, i immediately STOP-------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am exalting myself as this hero within my own mind in order for me to feel special about myself using the '' they and them'' personalities within and as my mind against the ''me or us'' personalities and wherein the ''me'' wins it for the ''us.'' Within this not seeing/realizing/understanding that i have created 4 personalities to be against each other within my own mind in order for me to just feel better about myself, because that is eventually all that can really happen, me feeling better about msyelf, because none of the characters/personalities are real and the whole scene is NOT the physical reality.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into validation of my Self-interest to think/belief that i am more then others, i immediately STOP,----------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.



Therefore;

I commit myself to make sure i slow myself down in my breath so i little by little stop participation in my mind consciousness system and choose exactly in the moment when i know i am starting or about to start letting myself get into the participation, i just breatheee and make sure that i am doing something that involves a real physical movement to support myself physically being here within and as my breath and my human physical body/form. And IF these continue to make notes so i can deal with them later on in writing of Self-forgiveness statements and corrective applications.


I commit myself to in the moment i see memories of picture presentations of real people within the real world in my mind, to immediately focus on my breathing and slow myself down and make sure i touch with my hands any part of my human physical body to help me being here within and as my breath when i am focusing on not letting myself get cought in participation of mind delusions.


I commit myself to investigate through my writings all the point that are related to superiority complex and inferiority complex related to my own process so i can find out what is the fear behind them all, what i am really fearing doing or not doing and when and how i crearted this fear to then embrace it as myself in order to stop me as that fear completely and thus delete it.


I commit myself to investigate through my writing of Self-forgiveness as to why exactly i want to feel special and wanting to be a hero that save the day about myself, as in what happened to me that made me fear myself that i need to feel special about myself in order to think/belief that somehow feeling special about myself is going to change me in real reality.






Self-Reward:


The reward i have given myself within this writing is my realization where i see that i am using certain/specific characters/personalities within my own mind in order for me to feel better about myself  and thus boosting my ego in order to keep participation within my own mind consciousness system to continue being the directive principle in my life and NOT myself being my own directive principle. Thus now that i have realized these points next time if they come up again within me i can more readily direct myself accordingly because i already seen them for what they are and what their purpose is. So my gift to myself here is to stop participation in critical moments and remain here in breath.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela






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Thursday 15 August 2013

Day 257, Bernard Poolman, the greatest world teacher EVER, yet just a few noticed.

Now i am going to share with you, the reader what this man; Bernard Poolman meant to me and how he has EFFECTED my life so i can start taking my Self-responsibility as it should be.




I was called by Ingrid and she asked me if i have read the email about Bernard, and i said no, because when she called me i was sleeping and i woke up and went immediately to check my email to see what she was talking about, and as i read the first sentence;" We are here to inform you that Bernard has passed away in the early hours of Sunday 11th of August.''  This sentence alone hit very hard, i was totally shocked and i said: '' WHAT!!! ''  and then followed that up with: '' SHIT!! ''

And after all these swearing, a deep sadness came over me, like a part of me is gone so to speak, and then i became angry at SYSTEMS, just systems, all systems, i start blaming systems, all systems, existential systems, and the systems we have in this world as in how we conduct/manage our living together here in this world.

So before i continue let me forgive myself for having this anger within me in relation to Bernard's passing away.


Self-Forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat in me in the form as the word: ''what,'' to in that moment to represent my own disbelief about the news that Bernard have passed away, thus like wanting my disbelief to be true, without seeing/realizing/understanding in that moment that the disbelief itself is also a belief and is my own making that has nothing to with reality, which also in this moment of writing this statement is another clear PROOF how belief can fuck one up, because my disbelief as my belief in that moment was proven to be NOT true as i manifested it in my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat in me in the form as the word: '' Shit,'' to in that moment to represent my own fear as in: '' what the fuck am i going to do now,'' which is a point of self-interest, because in Bernard through his words i was looking for stability and empowerment without seeing/realizing/understanding that i was not giving that to myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be very angry at all what  i in a moment saw as systems and that i hate systems, without seeing realizing that I AM a system, i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become a system and by being angry and hating them is in reality hating that which i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.


I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that by being angry and hating systems is somehow going to change something within me as me trying to ease away the real pain as in the sadness that came over me with the news of Bernard passing away, thus in this transforming it as----------- in running away from the sadness instead of standing within and as the sadness completely and embrace myself as it and get it over with as making me totally the sadness that i manifested within and as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand in the moment of being angry and hateful to whatever that is outside and inside of me as systems is nothing but what i myself has accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and without.


Therefore i commit myself to stand within and as myself within and as my process i need to walk in order to be/become the principle Bernard walked and lived equal and one as the whom i am as an individual and doing this within/as the group of desteni.


I commit myself to use the tools provided by desteni as what Bernard himself used in his own process to be and become the whom he was and is as the principle of oneness and equality as what is BEST for ALL LIFE.


I commit myself to embrace myself as the systems i have become so i can understand myself as these systems and then bring all of what i have become to the HERE point, so i can free myself of what i have become that is NOT what is BEST for all LIFE.


I commit myself to remind myself to always when i see that i am going to or about to go into becoming angry and hateful to immediately STOP myself within and as breath and do NOT allow myself to participate into emotions and stick and be within and as my breath right HERE, as the point of stability as the point of actual standing within/as my human physical body/form.


I commit myself to workout deligently on myself with myself with the tools i have been given by Bernard and that he have lived himself in absolute detail never waivering an inch, so i can be/become a +1 in the equation where eventually will be where all the one's (1) put together live the same principle till it is done.

I commmit myself to give myself patience and to not forget that the process is a process and it will take time, so patience is critical and also practical and make sure i stick to my breathing as the point of stability wherein i can trust myself as the breath within and as my human physical body/form equal and one.


                         ========================================





So in the beginning of hearing Bernard speaking with his roaring voice as a lion, i was not afraid of the way he spoke. I heard within his way of speaking as a directness and a certainty and as he change from sound with his voice in the voice i hear humbleness and actual real care in every word even when he was swearing.

In the beginning if i was to let other people that are not part of the desteni group hear some awesome interview where he was speaking, the voice was the first thing most of the people will react to and find it scarry or whatever, and this i could not understand, because to me i was hearing what he was saying, the voice is just like a carrier, a way of effecting the words, so they can touch the core of our being.

What i was fearful of was really to meet Bernard, because i was aware that he could see all the shit in me i had as secrets in my mind where no-one else can see and only i know is there. Now that i am writing this,  i can see now within me why it was i was postponing so much, it is because of this one point, to have to face myself if i ever got the be in the presence of Bernard, thus this means that i was fearing my own fear of facing myself and then use Bernard as a projection of my own fear so i can continue fearing myself and thus not move and change for real deeply.


                               ======================================



Therefore, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear Bernard for what i was aware he could do, thus seeing within the dephts of my mind as what lies within it, what i am hiding, thus in this case fearing my own fear and making sure that i keep being in this fear.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that ''hiding something,'' is being dishonest within and as myself, like harnessing energy for myself within myself as to keep myself as the energy as the mind consciousness system to continue being the whom i am within and as this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself down and engage in unnecessary fear of my own creation, just in order to NOT stand within and as myself to be/become the living principle of oneness and equality, that which is BEST for all LIFE.

Hereby i commit myself to bring myself to the point where i am aware within me that i loose something within me and in that point i then stand within and as my breath forgiving myself and standing so i can take this fear of myself having to stand away and delete it.

I commit myself to write out in detail all that is within me so i can see the whom i am as my mind consciousness system, as what i accept and allow within me and as what i will not accept and allow to be within and as me and direct myself to bring it to the HERE point and change myself.


I commit myself to stop hiding within and as myself and just open myself up patiently till all that is as me as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become is on paper in the written word, through my Self-forgiveness and my commitments to then have a view of what i am doing in order to STOP myself in the critical moments and stand in the stopping as in NOT letting myself participate within the fear that will want to rise up and to digg deep till i find its root within and as me using the tools as they are presented at desteni.



 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  --

as you can see by now as what i have written here, that i did not meet him in the flesh when he was here in the flesh as the flesh, even though there was this willingness within me to wanting to meet him and get it over with in a sense deep within me, like wanting it to go really really bad as in the point of no return and face it all in that point and get it over with and for this one more time i project it as Bernard being able to support me in that particular point as in pushing the buttons that i should be pushing myself, because i can see them within and as me, but yet fail deliberately to not push myself to get to that point of no way out BUT to face myself in my own darkest hours.

Now with Bernard's passing away i have also within me see/realize/understand more clearly then ever what it is i need to do and to actually do it as an individual and also within and as a group as desteni.

There is not one interview that is shared where Bernard spoke that i have not listen to, because i was listening to all of them, i always looked for support through his words and all that he has written that were shared i read them all, because they are simple and yet direct written as in a form of cutting right through any bullshit that i may have in a moment. So but you see;  this was supportive but yet i took it the wrong way, in the sense that i wasn't really integrating it, as in living what he was sharing, it was like a moment thing just to feel better about myself for a particular point i was busy with.

Now that he has passed away, i have seen/realized/understood that i leaned too much on his voice as what his voice could do through sounding of the words in certain and specific way and using certain specific tonality and resonance in supporting and assisting me so my process can become more bearable, but then again with all of that, even when i understood what he was saying in common sense i lacked LIVING them.

So now this NOT living the words as i understand them is changed, because i am aware now as he is not here in the flesh as an individual human being anymore to push any buttons for no-one i have to and must push my own buttons and sound my own words and do what i have to do in order to be/become a living example as to what it means to live by the principle of oneness and equality, that which is BEST for all life, as Bernard has shown through his living when he was here.

Living time have arrived.!  So indeed Bernard has given his own life so all may LIVE as one as equal as what is BEST for all LIFE as the principle of/as life.


So i am forever grateful for all what Bernard did for me and for what he did for ALL always in all ways and this gratefulness to make it count;  i must live it, and so be it!!


Thanks



Larry Manuela










Sunday 11 August 2013

Day 256, The '' THEY and THEM '' vs the '' ME and WE/US '' Part 2

Now i am moving to the next dimension, which will be the Thought-dimension, in regards to this particular point.



                                                       Art done by Andrew Gable


Thought-Dimension:

*** a picture of me talking to some people

*** picture of me trying to explain why common sense is not existent in this world

*** picture of me looking at the faces of people, like them not having a clue what i am talking about




Self-Forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a picture appear within/as my mind consciousness system wherein i see a picture of how my eyes see myself in the mirror, and use this picture to represent my actual real human body in my mind consciousness system to talk to some other people within/as my mind consciousness system when all of them are just picture-representations of actual human bodies and thus are all illusions.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that all the pictures i create within my mind and that at this stage i am not even aware as how exactly i am doing that, where exactly they're coming from, with this i mean; which specific memory holds what specific picture and so forth---------------i then fall in giving them value as in giving them attention, and by giving them attention i create more of them within my mind consciousness system, like a snowball effect and because it moves so fast i cannot even see what picture is belonging to what memory exactly and how/when i placed that memory within my human physical body. 


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be deceived again by myself as the mind consciousness system and in the moment forgetting to BREATHE and instead went on with the generation of thoughts within/as my mind consciousness system to keep me from standing HERE.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that i am deliberately giving my thoughts attention in order to generate more of them as IF i actually really need them, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i didn't need them the moment before they appeared, and i was functioning just fine without them and was without their existence.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that my thoughts are actually something real, that i can even rely on, when i know they come and go according to what happens outside of me as in how i interpret what happens outside of me, raising a whole agglomeration of files upon files of memories i don't even remember when i placed them there and for what purpose and how exactly i did it within and as myself to protect my own self-interest.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how by participating within and as my thoughts i am actually not being HERE as the the breath and as the human physical body/form that  i am for real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture in my mind where i am trying to explain why common sense is not existent in this world, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am just participating within/as my mind consciousness system.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within my mind try to explain common sense, when it is something one just have to get it and then to apply it. Thus trying to explain common sense through/via the mind is just not going to work, because it is just that one have to see what is actually HERE as it in fact functions without the bias of the mind, very simply put; what is best for all life equally, which is common sense and what is NOT best for all LIFE equally is NOT common sense, thus NOT LIFE.

I forigve myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that by using these pictures in my mind i can then through/via them use them to CONvince people what common sense is, when i know common sense does not need convincing, it needs to be realized by each one for themselves and then applied/lived as whom we are in every moment of every breath in Self-honesty.

 I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand in the moment of having pictures of me trying to explain common sense is utter none sense and very delusional and only adds to the trying to feel good about myself, which is in itself self-interest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of myself in my mind looking at other peoples faces and see within their face expression that they have no clue what i am talking about.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this mind projection within/as myself that i will use also in the real world as a way to weight what i am saying and if i am being understood or not, thus coming from a mind projection to evaluate reality.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind in evaluating what happens in reality when most of the times i was shown in real life that my mind was unacceptable, thus that i as a mind consciousness system is not aligned with reality.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that within my own mind i judge others as not being capable of understanding me, and thus in real life will have a starting point based on that mind perspective, instead of just being HERE within and as breath and as my human physical body/form one and as equal as all as LIFE, and then use my common sense to share whatever i have to share fully aware that i shared myself in common sense as what is BEST for all.



Self-Commitment statements:


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into making picture-presentation of my own body or other human bodies or anything in this world, i STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am using these picture-presentations within/as my mind  to use later on as examples in real life as IF they are real and i can count on them, when all they really represent is my self-interest in how i view/see/interpret myself and everyone and everything else within/ as my mind consciousness system.

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into picture flashing, i immediately STOP------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE within and as my human physical body and focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that that with the fashing of the pictures in my mind as thoughts, i am still forgetting to stop and slow myself down in the moment and be HERE, within/as the breath so i can see where the pictures as thoughts are coming from and to which memory they belong and then i can have a look at the memory and see when i placed it there where it is and for what reason i did it, so i can embrace it completely and let it go.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into generating more thoughts, i immediately STOP,------ take a deep breath or many deep breaths as necessary till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am forgetting to breathe and choose to follow my thoughts within and as my mind consciousness system which in turn create more and more thoughts as pictures in it and this takes me away from being HERE as my breath and my human physical body/form.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into trying to explain what common sense is, i immediately STOP myself and take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am trying to explain common sense instead of living it as an example and in so doing let the living example speak for itself as the expression of common sense as i live common sense in every moment of breath.

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into judging and projecting my mind perspectives as what i see in other peoples faces, i STOP, -------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i using my judgements based within my memory to evaluate and judge what others may be thinking or believing about me or about what i am saying. In this, i am thus perpetuating my self-judgement and thus then live this self-judgement in this world wherein judging is then acceptable and allowed, because it is acceptable and allowed within and as myself.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into judging others through my mind as not being capable of understanding me, i immediately STOP, -------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am basing my evaluations on biased information within and as my mind, instead of using common sense, as that which is BEST for all LIFE.



So within this i commit myself to make sure to remind myself to actually STOP myself within the moments i choose my mind picture-presentations to evaluate reality with as IF it is real and instead BREATHE and just be HERE and from HERE to remain HERE and then express myself within as my breath and my human physical body one as equal.


I commit myself to remind myself to stop and slow myself down in breath when the pictures are flashing within my mind consciousness system and then to investigate where exactly they are orginating from and to what memories they belong and for what purpose was that specific memory placed and hold within and as my human physical body.


I commit myself to make sure i keep myself committed to being HERE and remind myself to stick to being HERE so i don't wonder away from HERE and get lost in my mind consciousness system with its toughts.


I commit myself to make sure to do my utmost best to live common sense in my words and as whom i am as the human body in the words i speak, little by little till i am completely expressing myself as such in all complete Self-honesty, and to also remind myself to have patience with myself because it is a process that does not come from the day to the next.






Self-Reward:


within this specific post i have seen/realized/understood that i am compromising myself through participating within and as my mind consciousness system, and due to this making my opportunity to realize myself as LIFE HERE longer every time i choose deliberately to go into my mind consciousness system to evaluate and to have a look at reality which in its turn will be based on biased information as examples as memories to protect my own Self-interest as me thinking/believing that i ''know'' what i am talking about and that it is real, when all of it is based on an illusion.





Thanks.




Larry Manuela




Join us at: DESTENI



Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world, and i mean ALL: EQUALMONEY   and   Living income guaranteed



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Walk yourself out of your illusion back into the physical LIFE substance through using the tools in this course: DIP











































Saturday 3 August 2013

Day 255, The '' THEY and THEM '' vs the '' ME and WE/US '' Part 1

Within this blogpost i am going to walk the necessary dimensions to sort this point and see what else lies behind it and in so doing keep on peeling the layers as i move and understand myself and see what i am accepting and allowing within and as myself and then to push myself to correct myself as exactly as i write my commitment statements i place that i have found within myself for myself that are physically/practically applicable.


Now this point of THEY and THEM vs Me and WE/US, is in fact me being angry within myself about they as the people in the world that don't want to stop and start the correction and i justify this then by using the ME and We or US words as to defend myself within the blaming of THEY or THEM. Even when i know the THEY and THEM is just US and I am part of this US or THEY or THEM. It is about my acceptances and allowances and their acceptances and allowances and in the end it is each their own acceptances and allowances that will have an outcome, a consequence that is physically measurable and that affect ALL LIFE on earth in many many different ways and manners.






I have constant backchats in regards to the THEY and THEM and talking to myself within my mind, trying to come to an understanding with the THEY and THEM that THEY and THEM have to STOP and correct and change themselves in order for real change to happen in this world. In my mind i am like this person that is standing up against THEY and THEM that are in power that are in positions where they can make decisions that can impact how we live with each other and everything else on planet earth, including the relationship with earth itself too. And in these backchats i get angry at them, because i relate to it as the examples i get in my talks with people in the real world when i showed with words the common sense perspectives as in what we do and how we live and what kinds of influences it has in our lives and how it affects others in atrocious ways, that most of us are not even aware of, and because many people don't hear these words, or don't want to hear these words and in most of the times try to look for a way to justify it, makes me afterwards when i am at home to have backchats on how i am going more deeply into trying my best to let them see that we are not living according to the life principle as to what is BEST for all LIFE. And this then in my mind makes me go through the emotion of anger. Now all this is totally delusional and stupid to create unnecessary energy within myself that are totally not bringing about any significant change at the physical level that would be considered what is BEST for all LIFE.


So i will walk to deconstruction of this point here starting with the:




FEAR-Dimension.


**  fear of me thinking and believing that us humans will never get it and thus stopping or chaninging anything

**  fear of me not being able to be effective enough and on time

**  fear of the anger that rise within me on the blame i put on myself and us humans



Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that us humans will never get it and thus stopping and changing anything, just because i judge this based on how i am being responded at, when i talk to people about the state of how we live in this world, thus what we accept and allow to be HERE within and as this world.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to fully integrate the extent of the brainwashing that is going on within myself and also others as myself as the rest of the human beings on earth.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and fear when i see that the responses in the world about what is actually in fact happening is not being seen as urgent and unacceptable.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes loose my patience in being clear about what i share when i know within me that someone that is deeply brainwashed cannot hear what i say in just one go, they need more time, not everyone can hear common sense the very first time and accept the facts as how things really are in how we live with each other and everything else, because i am fogetting that i too did not get it immediately the whole thing in one go i needed time to get it, due to the same reason as everyone else, which is; brainwashing.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to be effective and on time, just because i am judging within and as myself as my mind consciousness system on the responses i get from the people within my direct environment and also the people on the net, even when i see their is a growth within the people that are starting to get the message of ONENESS and EQUALITY, that which is BEST for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and others as myself based on my own assumptions instead of just being HERE in every moment of every breath and just do what is BEST for all in every moment of every breath, not wavering or projecting anything.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my own thoughts and backchats on others as myself within and as my secret mind blaming myself and others as myself, when i know that ALL blame and judgements are always Self-blame and Self-judgements.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself get lost in the emotion of anger on the blame i put on myself and others as myself as the rest of the human beings.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to apply myself accordingly using the tools that are presented by desteni, when the anger rise within me or when the blaming and judging starts within me as me as the mind consciousness system and instead let myself get caught within the whole emotional ride or rollercoaster, and to after all this feel like i have failed my own process of not being diligent and effective enough in every moment and also be watchful at all times at the little movements that occur within me as me as the mind consciousness system as energy.




Self-commitment statements:


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into judging others within and as myself i STOP------- Take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE and make sure i focus on my breathing till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind consciousness system as energy.

I realize that there is still judgement existing within me as me and that i let myself get caught in them, when i know that i have to apply myself and not let myself get caught in them.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into loosing my patience with people that are not getting common sense, i just make sure to remind myself to STOP------take a deep breath or many deep breaths till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am loosing my patience with people because within me i let myself get caught worries about being late, when i know all i can do is do what is best for all in every moment of breath.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into assumption about what others might think/belief, i just STOP------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i let myself get caught in assumption to easy instead of just being HERE within and as my breath and stand stable and clear and in this stability and clarity then move myself.

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into letting myself get angry for participation in blames and judgements, i just STOP---------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am falling in the little moments when i have the chance to actually in the moment STOP myself and due to not doing this i perpetuate myself into making things worse within and as myself where i will react in the emotion of anger.


Therefore, I commit myself to now that i have seen/realized/understood what i am not doing effectively and how i am letting myself get caught in little moments that could have been little opportunities to move along and get it over with, i let myself fall deliberately in those little moments as if i want to get emotional, i will make sure to pay very close attention to when i communicate to people what my words are and how my body language is and to slow myself down and in this slowing down choose the words carefully in HERE moment that are clear and common sensical and just express myself as such in a moment and don't porject myself in the future and IF there is anything in that moment that comes up to take note and work it out later on when i am on my own, till i get to the bottom of it and clear myself completely from these points and learn to little by little to apply myself accordingly and effectively using the tools provided by desteni.




Self-Reward:



So now that i have seen/realized/understood what it is i am accepting and allowing in myself i can now be more effective in applying myself in the moments i know i should be doing so and give myself the gift of forgiving myself in participating in my own mind delusions and thus making my own process longer and seem hard and difficult. Thus i can remind myself that i can do this and i can stop myself and change myself by just taking the decisions i have to take in these little moments that i can see myself going into the participation.




Thanks.



Larry Manuela




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Friday 2 August 2013

Day 254, loosing patience with the machine and people at work.

I am working on one specific machine at work and this machine always have problems. Since i am working in this factory, which is approximately 3 years, i never saw that machine work lets say 2 weeks in a row without having any problems, it may run one week without problems, then suddenly something will start happening with it and eventually it will just get worse and worse till they decide that they have to seriously look at it.



                         
Now what i have noticed is that when something goes wrong with the machine the people in higher position always come down to look at what happened. They say they are investigating where the problem lies and what caused the problem. In reality they are coming down to look for someone to blame, looking for THE: ''who did it?''

I have written down everything that happened in  the logbook that we have where we have to make notes and little discriptions of what the problem is and where it originated from and if it was fixed or not, and if there were parts-replacements that have been made in relation to the problem. So the people upstairs did not read my information in the logbook and blamed one of my colleagues that it must have been him that did something wrong that made them having to put so much products on hold, when in reality i wrote everything down.

In relation to this little story here, i see within myself that when the people get all paranoid and are in a state of looking for others to blame because they don't want to be the one that is blamed and they talk to me like in a very commanding voice and almost screaming and being angry as IF it must be me that is doing something wrong to the machine, when in reality i am doing everything as i am suppose to be doing it, there is nothing i do that is out of context or not as it should be done--------- i then have to take a lot of breaths sometimes, to not get angry myself, it doesn't work all the time, sometimes i just have to turn around and leave them with unfinished words in their mouths, because i am one of the people that if i make a mistake i openly admid it, i am not afraid of loosing my job. I refuse to try and blame others just to safe my self-interest even if it would mean loosing my job.  This trying to blame someone else without really investigating thoroughly what the problem really is, is like a virus within the working environment that i find myself in. We work under lots of pressure and fear for not making mistakes and these then produce exaclty that which they are trying to avoid. The situation is very stressed and hurried. Everything must be faster and faster. And i am seeing a trend manifesting; that the more clients we get, the more stuff we have to do on our own and thus less time to really pay attention to the Quality details, and to make the problem worse, the machines are not working at their very best, they have constant malfunctions. No matter how much they rap about that; the Quality of the product goes first, in practice it is the Quantity that we all see and know goes first!! The moment one of the machines come to a stand-still, everyone that is on a position as supervisor or management get stressed immediately, because to them it means; no production and no production means no money. So it is all about the money at the end of the day no matter how much they try and TALK about we must pay very much attention to the Quality of the product and that, that goes first and is of utmost importance.

Now this blame game is making me very tired, because it is everywhere at work, the workers blame the supervisor, the supervisor blame the management and the workers, the management blame the workers and the supervisor and the bosses blame usually also the workers but put the pressure on the management to put the pressure on the supervisor and eventually the workers, and then from there when we move outside the company, one will have some clients that will blame the factory, if they encounter some problems with the products we delivered, and it all lead to the money in the end, who is going to be blamed and eventually having to PAY. So the point of blame is being used  for two reasons:


  • to make sure the factory/company can save some money
  • to make sure that if there are claims to make, to make some more money


Now we have a dilemma, because everyone is blaming each other in order to not be the point of blame themselves or in order to gain some self-interest, thus to make money using the the point of blame. There is no forgiveness in this world system. The moment there is a problem, the problem is being seen as a ''loosing money'' point. And loosing money in this world system is something no-one wants to go through. And if one is unfortunate enough to be found the cause of the problem even when it was not intentional, that someone will PAY in some way or another, usually it mean; this person will loose his/her job. Now because everyone then sees this, the fear goes up exponentially, the fear for loosing their jobs. And then this have in its turn a stressed and paranoid working condition among the people working in such environments.


Self-forgiveness in regards to my points in regards to this particular event and/or circumstance:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to loose my patience with the machine and the people that accuse or blame me as IF it is my fault that the machine is not working well, when i know it is solely that machine itself that have some malfucntions that happens to occur exactly when it is my turn to run it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel a little as being seen as ''not good enough'' due to this and in this order;  making me feel like i don't care for anything anymore, in other words wanting to play to victim game.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want/wish/desire to play the victim game.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let the want/wish/desire to play the victim game to be part of me as me, within and as my mind consciousness system, wherein i victimize myself when in reality i am NOT, just because there is this knowing within me that they did not see me how i am working at the machine and that i didn't make any mistake and within this, because i cannot proof it, because it will be my word against theirs.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief/think that it will be so, when in actuality none of this happened, it just what i think and belief, it is not a fact.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wanted/desired/wished to lash out back at them when they are lashing out at me as if i am the one that did something wrong with the machine, when i am absolutely sure i did not, and wherein this makes me very angry. Within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let anger exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to everytime i have to work on the machine i already go within myself having a backchat: '' i hope this fucking thing works without any problems today, working on my fucking nerves every time.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' i hope this fucking thing works without any problems today, working on my fucking nerves every time,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not even noticed that i am blaming the machine, when the machine itself is also not the problem, because the machine just functions as how the humans assemble it, it just follows certain mechanical rules and technical informations that the human placed within it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that it is within my place to judge and blame others and myself to and the machine in order to look for a way for myself to protect my self-interest, evenn within the situation when i am aware that i am not the point of blame or fault, i still react to the people blaming me, thus having a reaction on blame itself. Therefore, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react on being blamed and thus perpetuate the point of blame within this world, this reality.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by accepting the point of blame to be done to me and let it continue, i am in fact accepting the point of blame in the world at large, and that sometimes it is better to just let it be, when i know i can find some way within the system to talk to someone aside and explain to them that they are blaming me based on assumption and not on facts.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let the blame be on me, just because of the fear of confrontation with the actual truth and how the other may respond, thus my own assumption on how otjhers may respond if i am to stop the blame within me and thus also outside of me through other people.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand the implications that goes with the point of blaming, for it keeps the assumptions in myself  as valuable point of assessing information about myself and also others outside myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give in, in assumptions about myself and about what others assume about me or what i think/belief they assume about me, when all of it is just within and as my mind consciousness system.


Self-commitment statements:


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into blaming and assumptions, i STOP------take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I see/realize/understand that within me exists what i myself think/belief exists in others as blame and assumptions.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into victime-mode, I STOP------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I see/realize/understand that when i give attention to my own assumptions and also what i think and belief others might assuming about me, i get into a victim mode to deal with it, instead just breathe and be HERE and not get into reactions within myself that have an outcome as emotions as blaming and assuming.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into letting myself get into reactions/thoughts/backchats, i STOP-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear amnd stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I see/realize/understand that i am participating within the same thing i am thinking and believing others are participating in within myself as the reactions and thoughts and backchats that appear within me as me as the mind as energy.


Thus within this i commit myself to make sure that whenever i react, i blame, i assume things about myself or others, i have backchats, i have reactions and thoughts, to immediately make sure that i refuse to participate and make sure that i go and do something that is physical in that particular moment and to focus on my breathing and the physical application i will be choosing to do in the moment and if there are still some remains within to take notes later on in my phone and when i am at home i can write them out to find out what else is lurking within me that i haven't investagted yet and therefore are in need of correction.


I commit myself to STOP participating or wanting to participate in playing the victim game within and as myself and make sure to if this comes up within me to remind myself in that moment to breathe and take a physical action, so i don't engage in the whole victim game within my own mind.




Self-Reward:




Within this post i have seen/realized/understand that due to blame and assumption leads to me playing a victim game, wherein i feel protected in a sense, when all of it is in my mind and are not facts, thus now that i have seen this within myself is much easier to recognize them when they come up and also to not participate because i already know what outcome it will have, and the outcome is not what is best for me nor for anyone, it is purely an outcome that involves defending my Self-interest.





Thanks.



Larry Manuela




Join us at: DESTENI



Have a look at our solution to all the problems in this world, and i mean ALL: EQUALMONEY   and   Living income guaranteed



Support our research and by one or more of our educational products that will surely blow your mind:   EQAFE



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Do the course of a lifetime and change yourself in order to change the world:DIP     If not able to afford this one, here is a free version to get you started in becoming a REAL caring human being: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/