With this title i mean, that when i am at work or anywhere else, i get this feeling of uneasiness within me, when i can clearly see that there are people that don't like each other and are talking very rudely with each other or are avoiding each other, putting a face of: '' don't fuck with me'' when they pass each other by. Trying to make sure that the one they don't like is abused more by themselves or others when they have a chance for doing so, and are always very happy when something ''bad'' happen to the one day don't like.
Now when i am in these kind of situations i get very uneasy, and very uncomfortable within myself, like i don't know what to do and what to say, because it is so obvious and it ''hurts'' so to speak, i hate it when i have to be in the presence of people that don't like each other.
And sometimes they will ask you something to get you involved as in looking for ways to find more people to agree with their madness against each other,and when they do this, then if you participate you are going to be the one fucked, because if you choose the side of one of them, the other is going to hate you for choosing the side of the other one, even if one of them could be right. So it is better to not get involved at all, or when you do, make sure to show both their deceptions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where people can hate each other and look for ways and means to cancel each other out in whatever form, and this sometimes lead to extreme forms of measurements where one can even be killed by the other.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react within myself when i am around people that clearly show with their body language and fake smile and angry eyes, that they don't like each other or disagree with each other.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed within myself for people that are around me and that they don't like each other, because within myself i cannot handle being false with people i don't like, i will sort it out immediately, because it will bother me, so i will take it out and confront them.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel so uneasy that i don't know what to do or what to say, because inside of me there is like this rage that is going on, that is like a mixture of emotions of anger/guilt/shame/sadness.......all of this goes on within me when i am around people who clearly don't like each other.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes make a happy face, because i don't know how to deal with the discomfort that i experience inside of myself, that is like a rush of mixture of various emotions running a mock within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel a sense of hate to/towards people that don't like each other,just because through their behavior i feel uncomfortable within myself. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be even selfish within the disliking of other people with each other, where i will look only within myself how their behavior affect me instead of looking at what is BEST for all LIFE, for them and me in this case.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT be directive and effective enough due to me fearing if they will like me or not after i will say it as it is to them, and tell them to fuck off and go sort their shit out with each other once and for all. I realize that because of this fear i take it to calm and try to be a nice guy and soft.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the back-chat: '' i wish you guys could just confront each other and get it over and done with this shit,'' to exist within me as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of me lashing out in anger at them in a split second.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify their behaviour with a happy face, in order to try and make the situation feel more comfortable without seeing/realizing/understanding that the ''feel more comfortable'' will only apply to myself, because i am the one feeling the discomfort of their behavior, and not them.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to interpret myself as always happen to be finding myself right in the middle of people that don't like each other and always will look for a person to choose their side, and i will get to hear of both sides, something i don't like to hear at all or find myself in the middle of.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always have the back-chat: '' why do you guys always choose me to tell your disgusting hatred and dislike about each other to me,just go and confront each other and get it over with once and for all,'' to exist within me as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that i can be affected by the vibe the people are so-called; 'sending,' when in reality it is just me perceiving and interpreting their behaviour in that way. I am the one that decides to have reactions and emotions within me about their behavior with each other.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find myself in situations like that,because i have decided to place myself around people as someone whom listen to people and give advices, so that is why they always come to me with their shit, because they think/belief i can help them out, when in reality i am tired of people coming with their shit to me and not wanting to take their own responsibility. Within this i realize that they want me to take the responsibility that they themselves are afraid to take. So within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place myself as an adviser forgetting to advise the ones that come to me, that they should take their own self-responsibility and only in that i can advise them if it is not clear how to do that.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that i was offering myself as a point of escape to them when i am an adviser to them, instead of dealing with them in making them realize that the responsibility lies within and as them to sort their own shits out for themselves, and that is the only assistance and support i can give them, because coming for advise is not really what will solve their problem, it can only be solved when it is faced and forgiven and let go off.
I commit myself to only advise people that come to me for advise on how to be self-responsible as i am self-responsible for myself and how i interact and treat others as myself, to make sure there is no consequences that i will regret in the future for myself or others as myself.
I commit myself through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE to STOP myself into going into reactions when in presence of others, and make sure that i breathe, whenever i see myself going into or about to go into reactions/justifications/emotions/thoughts/back-chats.
I commit myself to STOP myself whenever i see myself going into anger to/towards others as me, for i know and see/realize/understand that this only affect myself in abusing my own body in creating more energy within myself to feed my mind.
I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into reactions of uneasiness and discomfort to STOP and BREATHE and make sure i am touching something that is physically HERE, so i don't loose myself within my mind.
I commit myself to STOP myself of putting a happy face when i am in the presence of people that clearly don't like each other and are acting all fake with each other and just BREATHE and make sure nothing moves within me so i don't create consequences for myself within myself for myself and then affect others with it through me.
I commit myself to STOP myself whenever i see myself going or about to go through interpretations/perceptions of what i assume they might be going through as i feel this within me when i see their behaviour to/towards each other.
I commit myself to STOP myself to somehow giving the wrong impression that i might choose their side of the story, and is the reason why they come to me,looking to validate why they should hate or dislike each other and is like looking for approval, when i don't approve none of them, before i don't like people not liking each other at all, i don't accept it.
I commit myself to be more direct and tell it as it is, because i am being to soft on them, instead of being direct and effective due to the fear that exist within me for not being liked anymore afterwards.
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In my life, and still to this day, this ''questioning things'' is what i have been doing throughout my whole life. Now the problem with this is, that i have created a character of this questioning, instead of questioning what is HERE.
I questioned most of the time my own existence, couldn't get what the fuck am i doing here. This question haunted me my whole life, I know many people ask themselves this question, it is kind of a universal question, but not everyone really become determine to find out what the fuck they're doing here. It looks like there is no purpose for me being here, i couldn't see the purpose and sometimes when i found something that looked like something that would be my purpose it then turned out differently putting me in a situation where i will have to question that whole thing again, which usually would be some knowledge and information that have some mysterious look to it, like it is out of this world. Some special hidden knowledge bullshit.
If i did not stumble on DESTENI, i would still be questioning LIFE. Now i am learning to question using common sense reasoning, and not knowledge and information. With common sense reasoning i can question exactly what is here as me as my thoughts/feelings/emotions/reactions/justifications/judgements and what it is i am allowing in the world at large while i am HERE and see if what i am doing or not doing is what is BEST for all LIFE or not, so i don't create more and more consequences of inequality all over the place through my participation within this world. So i look at all that is HERE as it is in fact manifested. Very simple, but very very effective.
So as i mentioned in my early writings already, questioning from the perspective of knowledge and information is as good as done. With this i mean my questioning have substance now, it is not just knowledge and information, and to gain more knowledge and information, it is to question things in LIFE and to see how i can correct myself in my daily living to function as a part of this whole group that is called humanity, in the BEST possible way, to bring about a world that truly is BEST for all living things, so we can co-exist together HERE on planet earth in the BEST possible way, not harming nor abusing each other.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to questioning things in life in the past using my knowledge and information, to gain more knowledge and information as to feel important instead of questioning what is HERE and how we are living with each other and if there is another way to co-exist that is BEST for all participants, not just humans.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that by questioning things by using my knowledge i was questioning it in the right way, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i was questioning from a limited perspective, so my conclusions will always be limited and what are NOT BEST for ALL LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the past into philosophies and spiritual knowledge that seemed very great at the time, when in reality all they were with all the big words, was just a way to justify this reality as an illusion and their knowledge as REAL.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that i was on a great path because i was questioning LIFE, without realizing at all that this kind of questioning was the very thing that was enslaving me to NOT LIVE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be so obsessed with questioning LIFE,that i even created a special character for this in my own mind, that will be the: '' the life questioner character.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character within my mind to question for me things in life and LIFE itself based on memories within my own mind, making it absolute delusional and thus NOT having any validity whatsoever. I realize how can i use something to question something with, when it is the very thing that is limiting me to see what is HERE, the very place where i am separated from all that is here, is within my very mind. So this means i am questioning always from the point of view/perspective of separation, so my answers will always be in and as separation exactly equal and one to what i am using to question LIFE with.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my own mind as more then LIFE, even when i was not saying it, but it was there in the black-waters of my secret mind, because i was giving it more value then LIFE itself, so much so that LIFE had no value at all.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the sentence: '' don't play with your LIFE'' many many times wherein i was implying that LIFE is the most valuable thing, but yet in that very statement was not LIVING it as reality, because my whole reality is NOT a reality where LIFE is valued at all by the very means that i have to use such statement within it, which is implying also that there is something being done that is endangering LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a world exist where LIFE is endangered and is being feared to not loose it, without seeing/realizing/understanding that the ''loosing'' part is only when i am not equal and one with/as LIFE, and it is only within my mind that i can clearly see that i am not equal and one with and as LIFE, for the rest that is physically HERE manifest, is all working in oneness and equality, assisting and supporting itself within this oneness and equality to that which is BEST for all.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how in choosing to question things in life based on my thoughts derived from memories imbedded within me, i was just repeating the past interpreted with a slightly different look to make it seem as if it is something new i am discovering or uncovering, when it is all past memories.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never question my own ability i was using and the tool i was using to question LIFE with to see if i can trust myself within using this ability or tool effectively.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT deal with LIFE at all as important from the perspective of me BEING LIFE, but was looking at LIFE as something that is separate from me and that even now i am still in separation to LIFE, i can only see in common sense that i am LIFE, it is NOT in FACT so yet for me. I realize that for me to realize and see in fact right HERE that I AM LIFE, my mind must NOT be in the way at all, no mind LIFE will remain.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not ever considered that i could be fucking with myself by questioning with my very mind, because of it being the very thing that was built to separate me from NOT finding out for real the whom i am as LIFE right HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to question things in life and LIFE itself so much so to the point that i couldn't even trust myself any longer, let alone trust what is HERE as the physical manifested LIFE.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by questioning with my mind using thoughts, i was in fact busy creating myself to be less trustworthy to myself and others as myself, because the questioning was taken me away from what is HERE, and what is HERE in FACT is My truth and all of humanity's truth, all that is being accepted and allowed deliberately without having any consideration at all FOR LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even when i was looking at the atrocities done to LIFE while was questioning i was still managing to brush it off and looking at it as IF it is ''life lessons'' these people need to go through for whatever reason which i knew within myself was not clear enough as to why would a being that is eternal be needing any ''life lessons,'' how a being that is suppose to be all ONE be needing any ''life lessons'' and on top of it all, how can life be a lesson, it should be expression and NOT a lesson to be learned, creativity is about expression not about learning, learning implies limitation, because how can i create if i still need to learn how to create....???
I commit myself to show through my writings of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life that to question using ones mind is NOT the way to go, but rather using your common sense reasoning with which one look at just what is HERE manifest in FACT as LIFE, and how that functions in specificity and if all of these manifested life expression can co-exist in the BEST possible way leaving as little as possible harm and abuse, till we create ourselves in a way where no abuse and harm will ever exist.
I commit myself to always question from the perspective of common sense reasoning alone for this is the only way i can see if what is being presented in the systems of this world are what is BEST for all LIFE or not, because in common sense reasoning FACTS of things are the value and NOT opinions of men about what they think and belief the facts are.
I commit myself to show through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE that the only questioning that will be valid is the questioning that life is being lived in an equal way.
I commit myself to STOP myself every time i see myself going into or about to go into using my thoughts based on memories to question this reality and the systems within it and just BREATHE,and make sure i am touching something that is physical to remind myself that i am HERE, and forgive myself for what i will accept and allow to be within me as thoughts and memories.
I have been looking at this point for a long while and i see that i still keep on forgetting to BREATHE.
If you are reading and you are not familiar, with what i wrote up there implies, let me explain a little. You see our breath is what is really keeping us alive here, it is a life-support given to all equally.
Now let us have a closer look at this. Have you noticed that even the worst criminal crazy fucker that ever exist is STILL breathing if he/she is not killed by someone else..??
Have you not question why this could be, why LIFE is allowing this individual that is destroying another life to continue...?? I mean it is a just a simple out-breath and it is DONE...!! So what is going on..??
Can it be that everything and everyone IS this BREATH...?? And is this breath supporting what really...?? Is it supporting an idea of yourself, which you call a PERSONALITY(IES) ..?? Or is it supporting the physical reality which your body consist of and exist as....?? Can this be reason why the killers and abuser and cheaters and manipulators and you name it in this world don't just DROP DEAD, breath leaving them before they commit some crime against LIFE.....???
So who am I, really that this breath that is HERE with me as ME all the time supporting me in every way,and that will go to extreme extents to just be with me..?? Why is it NOT giving up on me even when i give up on it many many times..?? Why do i NOT see it as myself when it is right HERE as ME...?? Am i NOT the one that is BREATHING...??
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER ever in my life consider my own breath to be of REAL importance, to be of REAL value, i always saw my breath as just breath, something my body does on it's own.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even within the sentence above where i state: '' something my body does on it's own'' how far and deep i have separated myself from and as my breath, that it is NOT me, but something apart form me. Within this i realize the simple fact, that how can something be apart from me as in my breath, when I AM the ONE BREATHING. I cannot be apart from something that I myself do.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny my own breath by seeing/perceiving/interpreting it as something apart from me, when all the time it is right HERE as ME.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER in all that is HERE be them '' good '' or '' bad '' living actions of us humans, how the breath have managed to stay right HERE through ALL these personalities that see themselves as apart from this BREATH, showing me right HERE in my face, that i am Missing me when i am in my mind believing myself to be this personality in my mind, wherein this is the only place where i am NOT one and equal with and as my BREATH, because my breath is physical, and support all that is physical as for one my human physical body that i have separated myself from within my mind as the personalities i think/belief I am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER saw how my breath was and is still always but always waiting for me, showing through myself and others as myself that it IS ME, no matter what character i choose to play as myself and as others as myself in this world, my breath Remains right here through the badness and goodness of all men, but yet i don't notice, and i don't even give it my honor let alone my respect for giving so many opportunities to be one and equal with as my BREATH right HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER ever notice/see/realize/understand how by choosing my mind above my breath i was in FACT choosing deliberately to NOT be one and equal with what LIFE is as ME supporting ME and all of LIFE HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself so much within and as my mind that i don't even consider the foolishness of my choice and that it have consequences to ALL of LIFE, because of my deliberate choice to NOT choose LIFE, but instead an illusion that i experience as if that has something to do with and as LIFE. When it cannot even equalize itself as THIS LIFE that I AM.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge man/woman/children to be ''bad'' or '' good'' based on their behaviors without NEVER ever seeing their BREATHING, that i and them are all doing equally right HERE,and never took it at all as something as valuable as what i consider to be given a value as the mind fucks as the separation and the polarity and opposites that i see in others as myself and in myself, avoiding constantly my breath calling me right HERE in myself and in everything else, as an gentle in-breath and a gentle out-breath.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself even when i KNOW my breath to be of very very importance STILL i choose to dwell within the place where i deliberately fuck with myself and miss all that LIFE is all about by limiting myself and give this limitation a great value when in truth it is JUST NOTHING at all compared with MY BREATH. My breath is HERE through all expressions and manifestations always the SAME, never flinging even in the face of the greatest EVIL that can exist as us HUMANS.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use many times my breath as an comparison, but never ever actually for real and in fact LIVE as MY BREATH one and equal. I was using this just as knowledge and information to make myself feel great inside when in reality i am NOT one and equal with that very thing i am talking about, because i never lived it. The occasional moments that i do walk as my breath are very few, but these i use to fro purposes of making myself appear special and to be seen as better or someone that understand some mysterious thing, when in reality all of that is just my mind fuck ups, because my breath is just what it is LIFE giving LIFE, and as that it cannot be special because specialness implies separation, implies '' more then'' and more then implies there must be something that is ''less then.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER ever have questioned my own breath as to why it continued giving LIFE,especially to those whom are taking LIFE, without seeing/realizing/understanding that this BREATH is supporting LIFE and that i am the one that does NOT support LIFE, because my breath is NOT busy with the personalities in an mind, it is busy supporting what is HERE as the physical as itself MANIFEST.
I commit myself to once and for all even when it is initially difficult to start walking more and more as my breath right HERE, so i can ground myself more and more to that which is real and move out of that which is an illusion and even bring that illusion as the energy it extracted from life to be an illusion and bring it all HERE as myself and just be a living breathing being for real of the planet EARTH.
I commit myself to pay attention to my breathing, because it is the only thing together with my body and all that is physical right HERE that i can really trust.
I commit myself to walk as into and as my breath as it should have been from the start, till i am HERE one and equal with and as my breath within and as the physical.
I commit myself to pay attention to others as myself and look at them as a start as just what is HERE as physical breathing bodies,and NOT as personalities in the mind till i am one and equal with them within and as the breath and the physical right HERE so i can assist and support them as myself as them.
I commit myself to start honoring and respecting breath as what it is as LIFE support right here something i should have done from my very inception within this world.
I commit myself to little by little to walk myself within my own breath and stay with and as it, till it is ME for real, till i am My BREATH one and equal for REAL, not that i am breathing alone, but that my breath is the whom i am.
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There is nothing so seemingly powerful in this world right now then this thing called: '' money.'' Even the ones whom are saying money means nothing to them HAVE TO go by the rules of this money and HAVE TO use it no matter what their beliefs about it are.
And the majority or better yet everyone is using this money in a selfish way, even those whom are proclaiming that money means nothing to them,and they can be perfectly ''good folks '' in this society, but yet they don't see how they live in a pattern where they have been taught to handle money in a selfish way, take care of yourself with it and yours, those very very close to you and that is about it.
So if i would tell them in their faces they are selfish, they're not going to like it,because they don't see themselves as selfish human beings. They will throw in lots and lots of defensive arguments to protect their position and tell me how they help people that are in need and so forth and so forth...........
But now here is the thing, will they give their support to a new system wherein not ONE individual will starve within this system...?? Will they live their lives supporting this idea, and walk together with others to bring this idea about, because they can see how it will STOP all atrocities and suffering in this world...??
What would they do..?? Most will start to look for ways to avoid this, and will call such a system and compare it with a ''socialistic'' or ''communistic '' idea and that these ideas never worked and so forth and so forth, without even investigating it in detail. So for those whom don't know what it is i am talking about, which kind of system i am implying here..?? It is the EQUALMONEY SYSTEM..!!
When it comes to systems, this system was coined in one breath, as to be HERE to support all LIFE equal. Because as you know, the one system we have now in place is NOT supporting LIFE at all, it is just a parasitic system that sucks on LIFE for real and does NOT know when to STOP. All of this is based on our acceptances and allowances. the current system exist only, because we are deliberately allowing it to exist..!!! And in our deliberateness to not STOP and Change this system, we CHAIN ourselves within our own creation and act as IF we cannot free ourselves from our own creation, strange isn't it...?? We will even defend this system of chain with our own LIFE, rather then stopping ourselves in our supporting it's continued existence.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself chain myself within a belief system that i allow to exist to chain me,instead of freeing me. Herein i realize that it takes me to chain me as it will take me to free me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that in reality i cannot set myself free from this chain that i together with others have allowed ourselves to be chained with.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use chains as a presentation of slavery, for the chains man created was used and is used today still for this purpose to contain and control and not let go off. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in world where resources are being transformed into objects that enslave me and all, instead of transforming them into objects that free us,where we are supported by the very objects we create.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself not do whatever it takes necessary to break my own self-created chains as my thoughts/feelings/emotions/judgements/justifications/reactions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear this system that i myself have created together with others HERE, thinking/believing that this system is somehow beyond my capacity to do something about it, when it is clear to me that NO human made system can continue without the human, the human make the system, so the human is the system. I realize if i together with all the other humans were to be extinct all the human systems in this world will STOP existing for they were being held alive by the human alone.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to the symbolism as chains to explain my own bondage to the system,making sure the fear to NOT go there to keep surfacing, when it is just a fear, and fears just like they surface out of nothing,i can make them nothing to, for if fear was real, i will be in constant and consistent fear in every breath. I realize fear appears only when i am leaving it's presence in me, it's a reminder within my mind to go there where you should not go, and there where i am being warned by my own mind passively to not to go is exactly where i need to go as to see the ''whom i am'' for real, right HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to engage into fears of chains for they come with images of slaves being chained as to not escape their capture, symbolizing that when one is captured, one is CHAINED as to have no possibility to escape.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that i for real can chain myself within my own thoughts/feelings/emotions and then create a system outside of myself that will be exactly what i accept and allow of myself within myself, and thus here we are in a system of CHAINS.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand how DEBT of one of the Chains within the system, the one that is the MOST heavy duty built within the system, it is so heavy duty that it keep on gaining weight, that none will be able to carry when it reach it's optimum.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand how PROFIT is the very iron the chain is made of from, the very reason the chain must exist, so DEBT can have it's rein.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER realize how this whole chain system of DEBT and PROFIT is exactly like our beliefs in GOD and THE DEVIL, how god needs the devil i order to appear that god is good,and have all power, the same with DEBT as god and PROFIT as the devil, for the devil as profit is the driving force just like in this world and God is the one hiding as the DEBT within the driving force as profit, so profit is heavily dependent on it's god that is DEBT.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let he heavy chains as my thoughts/feelings/emotions get the grip on me, when the only grip they have is a grip that is dependent on my allowance of their grip since they as being a so-called grip cannot exist without ME. I decide what can grip me or not, and especially when it is something i cannot even see and then allow myself to be going to an experience of possibly being gripped.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to loose myself within my own self-created chains of energy within me that come and go as the energy is made and when the energy runs out they are gone. But yet here i am letting this having power over ME, something like energy that cannot even hold itself as itself for long it have to deplete and run out, and in all this i keep on giving it rein over me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use money as a chain to chain me HERE in this world so i will be captured within/as my own thoughts/feelings/emotions/judgements/justifications/reactions about this money that is the representation of this energy that runs within me in this world outside, so the energy as money outside is showing me what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within myself.
I commit myself to little by little debunk and expose and delete all the chains i have been accumulating and building within myself and also within my world outside myself, where i don't just chain ME, but all the other ME's.
I commit myself to STOP myself of looking at things in symbolism and look at them as what they are HERE in fact as what they produce as consequence and if this consequence is a consequence that can be BEST for all LIFE, and if it is NOT to immediately STOP myself within and as it and BREATHE, and make sure i am touching something that is physical to remind me that i am HERE.
I commit myself to show that money as we have accepted and allowed it to be in this world is just our own enslavement and that all we need is come together and transform what we do with this money.
I commit myself to never give up and continue till me last breath to make more and more people aware that We have TO STOP as soon as possible, all it takes is our agreement to never ever again to create ways to make life suffer, because life is us, life suffers we suffer..!!
I commit myself to make sure to break loose of all my own self-created chains that run as deep as my thoughts/feelings/emotions, and embrace myself out of it by embracing all that i am HERE in order to understand me and LET Me be free.
So i am going to have a look at what this meant to me, when i was so-called: ''clicking'' with other people.
Most of the times this ''clicking'' implies individuals having almost the same way of looking/perceiving/interpreting their reality, and having almost and sometimes the same tastes in things of their liking.
So when one encounter someone like this when it comes to a partner someone is looking for, it will looks like and be experienced as a great thing and lots of energy movement happens within oneself. With this one will think/belief that this is one ''person'' is the one, the so-called: ''soul-mate''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that in this world i could find the one individual that will assist and support me to be/become the BEST human i can ever be while i am HERE, for this is NOT what no-one ever have as a goal within themselves, all each have is to find someone that is equal minded to be happy with, without realizing to be happy have lots of consequences related to it in this reality and that it has nothing to do with being and becoming the BEST human one can be and become at all, because the BEST human will always in all ways do what is BEST for all LIFE, for this will be it's principle of living.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand how i was walking right into my own self-created trap of feelings and emotions without having any clue at all, what these consists of and exists as and how they manifest within me, and within this, totally accept them without any questions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to mold myself into a person that was always looking for these ''click-points'' within another as means to find them mentally attractive as a way to make myself belief that this is an ensured approach for the relationship to not get into boredom in the long run. within this i realize how i constructed my life around the fear of boredom.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to mold myself to create a character that will step in every time i would see the so-called pattern that constituted within me a point recognizable as the ''click-point'' that i create within myself about what the person i am speaking with and that i have already find attractive by the way they look,and within this now is looking for more cemented points within them in order to attach myself to them as to make sure this one choice as to be with this person will be my perceived/interpret perfection, what would mean to me that we are navigating on the same mental wave so to speak.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for woman that will have this thing that will click between to the two of us, and when this is present, it will make me create another character within me that will become the character that will try and seduce this person that i see within me that is my so-called: ''match'' without knowing anything at all in fact about this person, just some points that i have given value within me that i think/belief i have to have in order for me to have a fruitful relationship with a partner.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that a fruitful relationship will be based on my judgement of the person i want to be with based on my assumptions of what i think/belief we have as a match without even knowing all about the person in fact of whom this person is in fact in every moment.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make choices based on how things feels within me, instead of making choices of what will be BEST for all LIFE and walk it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand that in choosing to be with one where there have to be this ''clicking point'' is implying that i must close/limit myself enough to this one particular person, which is a complete separation,that i have made myself addicted to so much that i even constructed and created a character within me that will defend this limited perspective of myself in looking for an illusion that is called: ''love.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the character that is '' the defender of the clicking-points'' that will step forth/in every time i make the choice to NOT choose to use my assumptions based on what i think/belief is a match within the personality of the person i have found attractive by looking at.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to defend my own assumption, because i am addicted to my own assumption, so deliberately choosing to assume when i already know within myself that assumption is NOT what is REAL,because my assumptions about the person are never what the person is in fact in real flesh. I realize that i know most people will put an act to be liked by the one they like so my assumption about them is based on liking the act, which is another character they are in and as in that moment just because they also like me, and want/desire/wished to be found likable by the one they like. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately choose to go for making myself fall for a act, just because of what i already decided within me that i wanted when i look at the body that is real and that have attractive parts of interests to me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the way the person will present herself as a way to commence my navigation on assumptions based on a presentation that is rooted within me as my own self-created wants/needs/desires.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the presentation of the person to what i will be assuming of them based on this particular presentation that i have placed as an presentation that will be likable to me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to base my choice to be or want to be with someone on a limited judgement as '' clicking points '' instead of intimately getting to know someone for real.
I commit myself to STOP myself every time i see myself or i am about to go into my judgements and look for clicking points to match the person i find attractive and BREATHEEEEEEEE..............................and remind myself by touching something that is physically here, so i don't loose myself within my mind.
I commit myself to STOP myself whenever i see myself looking for ways to justify my own self-created craving for pursuit of happiness that is more like a catch 22, which is also a pursuit of unhappiness, and BREATHE to ground myself back HERE and make sure that i am touching something that is physical to keep reminding myself that HERE is where i am.
I commit myself to STOP looking for clicking points in woman that i find attractive, because these clicking points are just assumptions and are really also based on the play the woman is in, in that particular moment.
I commit myself to show that all clicking points are just judgements about characters in action, and not what the individual really is in fact.
I commit myself to little by little as i walk my process of self-correction to STOP all my assumptions/judgements of myself and others as myself through my writing and my commitments to LIFE.
I commit myself to show that clicking points are a nice way to hide ourselves of not facing ourselves as what we really are within/as ourselves and is just a character play to find validation and approval.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look within me to find a way to run from my own thoughts and feelings without realizing that this was causing more and more back-chat.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to confirm/validate my own back-chatting with my own back-chatting.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand how within this thinking process i am sealing my own imprisonment with the prison guards as THOUGHTS.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT trust my own breath in every moment and due to this loose myself within my own thoughts, when i KNOW that only in my breath can i be REAL trust, and walk REAL trust, because in breath i am HERE, it is HERE-time.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that i can even run within myself away from my own self-allowed thoughts by back-chatting about them within my own mind,enslaving myself within my own self-created illusions as my characters within my mind.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that by back-chatting myself into oblivion i was and am missing myself HERE within and as my breath and my human physical body.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use sexual thoughts as fantasies to get me started on my way to try and get out of the commitment to LIFE and out of my of my focus of me as my breath.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that thoughts about sex are the thoughts that i use to get me out of focus of my breath, and back into my thoughts and back-chats. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use sex-thoughts to get me out o focus compromising my own process slowing down my process.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use back-chat of thoughts of my children, especially my son, because i know he is very attached to me, and is missing me and when i think about him, i get emotional because i cannot do anything about it due to my relationship i have got with money, meaning that my money is not enough to go and visit them whenever i would like to. Thus by this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the emotion to/towards my son to exist within me as me to get me out of focus within/as my breathing.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER saw/realized/understood how i used a word like '' to run'' that is in reality a physical function/movement in fact to address my hiding within and as my own mind through the characters within my own mind. I realize that '' to run'' for real is a function of my physical body, so the running in my mind will never be or can be the real running for it is NOT. Within this i realize that my characters as myself within my mind for what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world are addicted to physical functions and want and desire to copy them as making them theirs when in truth the physical real functions are physical and NOT energy as the characters are within and as my mind.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even consider that such thing as running away within my mind can actually be achieved, as if it is a very serious thing, when all along it is just a complete mind-fuck. In this i mean to really go as far as to use a physical function as an example and take it very serious as if i can do that within my mind for real, is beyond insanity.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use a physical function as in running and copy that within my mind to give to one or more of my characters to play with, will always show me within myself, that i am just making out of what is REAL a movie within my own mind and that i can never achieve what i really want to do in my mind, which is to hide from my own thoughts, try to suppress them, because they are of what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for ways within that which i cannot trust within myself and that i don't even know how i am creating them within myself and how they are existing within myself as THOUGHTS and then to rely on these for finding out things, because i will never find anything as these, because they are within me the very thing itself that is questioning themselves, within this i realize that it is futile to question with thoughts as thoughts are just the end product and i still have to get to the producer of this end product as thoughts.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that real physical movement requires just physical movement and does not require energy movement for it to move, but energy on it's part does require the physical in order for it to move, it depends on energy for it to move. I realize this when i look at my own thoughts/feelings/emotions, which are energy and how they are dependent on the physical in order for them to move within me as what they consist of and exist as within/as me. Thus i realize for example that if i cry, the cry itself can only happen on a physical level, it is physical, but the experience of the crying within me as the thing i am crying about is dependent on the physical to cry, so it can experience it and then i can call the experience: '' me being emotional '' thus the actuality of the cry is physical and the interpretation of the experience within me as my mind is the emotion,which is heavily addicted to this body going through cry.
I commit myself to STOP myself in letting myself go into back-chatting trying to cheat myself out of my breathing and my focus within/as it so i can remain just HERE.
I commit myself to STOP confirming/validating my own back-chats with back-chats within which i just continue creating more back-chats within myself, instead of me being just here breathing.
I commit myself to show that believing in my mind as characters that they can run in fact is beyond insanity for no character in the mind will ever run for real, because real running only the body itself can do that, and that one really really realize this simple realization one can see how one is trusting ones own mind delusions.
I commit myself to little by little STOP myself into participating in my mind-fucks as they create more and more back-chats that lead to nowhere, when in reality the only abode is right HERE.
I commit myself to when i see myself going into or trying to use my thoughts in order to question things, to STOP-----------------breathe and make sure to continue till there is no movement within me as me and make sure within this whole process to touch something that is physically HERE, to remind me that i am HERE.
I commit myself to remind myself through my common sense reasoning that a thought is just a thought and no matter what characters i create within my mind they can never ever be REAL as the REAL character of this reality which is my human physical body.
I commit myself to show myself through common sense reasoning that no matter how much i use the example within my mind that i have '' nowhere to run'' as in ''nowhere to hide,'' i am attributing to physical functions to use as examples within my mind and that that is as far as they can go, and can NEVER become the actuality of what is implied in physical terms and physical movement: '' nowhere to run'' and '' nowhere to hide. ''
Have you noticed that everything that people consider/belief/perceive/interpret to be ''good'' or a ''good action'' they will attribute the ''God bless you'' saying to it,if this is their background religiously or if they were influenced by this religious sayings...??
Now let us look at this ''good'' and '' good action'' that is being perceived by many, based on their religious upbringing, or influenced by religion from all corners of this earth, that there is an invisible force or being that is the creator of everything and is behind everything and is looking for ways to bring about the ''good'' in the world through people or whatever means.
If someone is being considered intelligent, they will tell this person that he/she is blessed by this God,just because we all know, either directly or indirectly that one that is intelligent in this world have more possibilities to survive better within the system that is HERE now, that is the bottom line..!! And on top of that, it is also believed that these kind of individuals can somehow save the world by using their intelligence, because they know more.
Now let us have a look at something that you may probably already noticed but maybe did not question it. Have you noticed that ALL the mental related jobs in this world are being rewarded better..?? All the jobs where one needs to depend on the mind more, will be rewarded better within this system,brainwashing everyone to always have the MIND in higher regard and seen as very powerful and more valuable. Jobs like psychology, philosophy,lawyers,planners, inventors,judges, accountants,brokers,economists, managers......... etc etc, are the jobs that are being rewarded more and are being seen as more valuable, something most should aspire to, to be/become. And all people with higher education that have PhD's and Mr. and Prof. in front of their names are all being rewarded better, making sure that everyone belief that this is what one needs in order to make it in the system, and this may be so in the system,when there is no major crisis, but when it comes to real practical living what one does as the so-called: ''talent'' one have it is just something/a function that one is using. One does NOT have to be seen/treated as more valuable or whatever because of the functionality one have achieved through brainwashing really in this world. In the animal kingdom and plant kingdom--------- nature in it's totality one can see this, that every part has it's function that works in unison with the whole, it is a ONE movement. The wind is not going to see itself as more valuable then everything else because of it's functionality for being the wind and fuck the expression of the rest because of this, or the trees seeing themselves as more valuable because of their functionality of being trees and fuck the expression of the rest because of this. Parts in our bodies don't see themselves individually as more important and valuable then other parts,they all work together as what is their functionality as their design within the whole as the body etc etc.....It is only in the human mind that exists such stupidity,that what they can do, thus their functionality makes them more valuable then the rest of the humans and deserving more then everyone and everything else, because they can do something that is being considered ''important'' within the system. This people,---------- let me tell you: '' is beyond insanity and it is very very destructive, really dangerous stuff.! ''
Now let us have a look at reality, in this world it is these people whom are so-called intelligent and intellectual that are seemingly in control and are the ones deciding who, how, what, where, why things should be the way they are.
It is the intelligent people as presidents that are promoting WAR and wanting to go to war and are passing laws/rules/regulations in favor of the system and NOT LIFE, and within the military itself, all the top officers are all intelligent humans, and what do they do...?? They plan strategies to kill other people that do NOT agree with them. You have lawyers that even with very clear evidence that the one they're defending is guilty, will take a chance anyhow if this someone have lots of money, to try and keep them NOT going into jail, and lawyers are what, or are being seen as what...?? yes you know it: '' intelligent humans .'' But yet we keep on giving these people our power to act and make decisions in our names. So whom are we then when we allow such thing in this world..?? Are we NOT exactly as them, because if we were NOT, we would make sure to do it ourselves and in ways that bring about a world that truly is BEST for all LIFE, but we don't------------- we keep on giving them the responsibility to fuck with us and then keep on blaming them forever, but never ever take ourselves our responsibilities, by doing it ourselves..!!! We are the slaves and we don't want to free ourselves by/through ourselves from our own slavery, we want someone else to free us from our own slavery. Does this make any sense to you..?? This means total lack of self-responsibility..!!! This also means that our peers never ever taught us at all SELF-RESPONSIBILITY..!!!
I can give many examples, but the point is very clear, that intelligence IF it is NOT being used as to bring about a world that is BEST for all LIFE is JUST plane USELESS and abusive, and an abomination to LIFE, a total DISRESPECT for LIFE, for real..!!
So there you have it, IF there was a god and he have blessed these people then lo and behold for what this god wants and desires for you to go through in this world through them, the so-called '' intelligent and intellectual humans, that are endowed with blessings by this god(s).''
So i can say right here: '' Fuck god(s) with all their blessings, because all that is here is just a fucked up world of torment and abuse and suffering everywhere by/through US the humans,and if there was a god he is abusive as us by the very fact that abuse is here done by the humans without him doing anything at all to STOP it in FACT.!!!''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief in my life that there was this god that could bless me or anyone else, and especially if i am ''good''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that by the very fact that this god wants and blesses only the ''good'' ones means that this god is not living by it's very principles in the books he left behind through written words through people when he says: '' we are all created equal.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see blessing as a great thing when i was believing in god, without seeing/realizing/understanding that if there was a god,he was favoring me, and by favoring me in this world where my life was fine and NOT do nothing that would be considered a blessing to those who really really need it-------- i was in fact accepting and allowing abuse to be here.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for this trap of there being a god that is looking after the ones whom are good, because i can clearly see that NOT even ONE is good, they whom belief they are good are just having a belief rooted in polarity game of '' good'' and ''bad'' wherein their perceived ''good'' is just what they have been accepting and allowing within the parameters of what was brainwashed within them, according to their environment and culture and upbringing they had.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never saw that when i was believing in the ONENESS of spirituality that this ONENESS was not real, because real ONENESS will imply that everything that happens i must go through it myself to, if i am ONE with all that exists, so i cannot just experience bliss when countless beings, including the human are suffering and going through immense pain, without me ever going through these sufferings and pains myself when i am experiencing my so-called: ''oneness as bliss as in spirituality.'' So within this i realize that the ONENESS of spirituality is another mind design, and is meant to separate me more from what is HERE as LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at people sometimes when they say this stupid saying of '' god bless you, '' because i know they are just regurgitating something that they have no idea at all to what extent it implies to say such a thing, and how deeply lost one must be to really belief in such a thing and then word it out.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be very angry when i found out for real/in fact that there can be NO GOD at all, when i saw/realized/understood for real what the fuck was going on in this entire world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to try and justify the existence of a god by giving the fault to another same invisible force which is the devil, that is the cause and fault that the ''bad/wrong/negative a.k.a. EVIL is HERE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that being blessed by this god in fact means that i am EVIL, because i will look for my own salvation or blessing alone in the face of those that are suffering right here for REAL, without ever considering how a god can bless me, one of those whom doesn't really really need it, and yet bless NOT those whom are really in need and that i know they are in need because i even use them as a means to act as if i CARE and have COMPASSION, when i donate to charity to try and be a so-called: 'good person, that is blessed by god,'' believing that, that would be a ''good deed'' since god have blessed me, so at least i can give a little to those who are in REAL need, and are NOT blessed by this fucker, confirming my EVIL nature and that of this God if he ever existed, ALLOWING suffering and abuse to exist so i can pretend together with this god that we are ''good.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never considered that i was EVIL when i was feeling high when someone will tell me that i am ''blessed'' by god, because in my mind i know this person means that i am a ''good person'' when in reality i am as EVIL as this person and the god he beliefs in, that is in reality his mind or our MINDS.
I commit myself to show that being blessed by god IS an abomination to LIFE and a total lack of self-responsibility.
I commit myself to DEBUNK and EXPOSE this LIE whenever i can and wherever i am for i see/realize/understand the implication to LIVE a LIE and infect it on others, and i will NOT accept nor allow such bullshit when i am HERE.
I commit myself to every time i see myself go into anger or about to go into anger to/towards myself within myself and to/towards others as myself outside myself to STOP-------------- BREATHE and make sure i continue breathing till there is no more movement as energy within me and during this make sure i am touching something that is physically here, to remind me that i am HERE and not there in my mind, LOST..!!
I commit myself to discipline myself more and more through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE to be/become a living example for what is to be understood as ONENESS and EQUALITY, that which is BEST for all LIFE.
I commit myself to show that the LIE of GOD and the LIE of the DEVIL are the same LIE, as LIE, as illusion. Both are characters in the MIND.
I commit myself to show that as long as we humans keep on wanting/wishing/desiring for some outside force to bless us or whatever we will continue being the SLAVES to our own MIND, that is heading in full speed for self-destruction.
'' We know that money determine all decisions
on earth as we know what happens when we have no money, yet we do not
change what we do with money --strange. Bernard Poolman.
So there you have it, very simple in your face common sense spoken from a MAN that truly stand for LIFE, all LIFE.
In my LIFE i have never known anyone whom is as dedicated to bring about a world that is practically and physically BEST for all LIFE. And he has proven it to me through his very dedication even though i have never met him yet in the flesh.
Some people will attack him, and compare him with what is termed spiritual masters or great thinkers or whatever and who knows what else. And especially when he comes out with common sense reasoning that one cannot get out of it. And most people will become nasty.
Lets have a look at something you haven't noticed.
Look at the ones in this world whom are so-called standing up for those whom have no voice, look at this: '' do you see them on almost all the social networks themselves, do they talk to you directly when you do get to be in their groups, or do they always hide themselves not answering themselves any questions that you may have or having their own BLOG, or youtube channel---------his youtube channel has been taken down by the way and who knows why, someone or some people might be very afraid when faced with common sense...loll...?? Now this MAN does, and not because he see himself as special or whatever, OH NO, IT IS because he truly knows for real what ONENESS AND EQUALITY AS LIFE IS ALL ABOUT and what it means to love thy neighbor as thyself for real, because it is what he LIVES as himself HERE...!!
I understand that in the time that he is here he have said and is still saying and will continue saying till his last breath more common sense stuff then anyone who are proclaiming that they care about life and especially those whom are being seen as examples in this world. He doesn't have to go to a special talk or meeting to then say something or write books in order for people to quote them later, oohh no, he is saying them in one breath, right here, in every moment he opens his mouth and talk, as the living word, everywhere, when he is driving or just walking, as you can hear in the video i have placed here, now there are many many videos like this. So this is how you can get to know that someone is serious about what they say and what they LIVE...!!
And for this i am truly grateful to have met him and all the rest of the people at DESTENI whom are working together for real to bring about a world that is truly BEST for all LIFE. You the reader may not understand this right now, and maybe even think/belief/perceive/interpret that i am glorifying him or whatever, but i am NOT..!! Because i will not accept nor allow it for myself and HE certainly will also NOT accept and allow it from NO-ONE..!! No bullshit HERE..!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a money system exist that is evil because it is mirroring exactly what i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame money as the root of all evil, when it is the human that is the real root of all evil, because the money is and was created through and by the human, money is not a living being in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself in the past to NOT see/realize/understand how it can be that i as the human is the real root of all evil. Within this i realize, that even though this make absolutely perfect sense, but just because i had the belief that i was created by an benevolent being somewhere, i cannot be the ROOT, because this will mean that GOD/higher power will then be evil, because i believed that there must have been a higher being as in the form of a god of sorts that created me and everything else, so me being the root of all evil mean that this higher being IS EVIL.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of seeing myself of the root of all evil, because then it will mean to me that now that i know this i MUST change and LIVE the root of all GOODNESS, and when this happens it means then that i myself is the creator of myself, because i can change myself from ''bad'' to ''good'' and to completely get out of this whole polarity game, i just create myself as what is BEST for all LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even give money the title of being evil when it was and is all along my creation through my acceptance and allowance, and full with my disease written all over it, where the money will be used to do what is exactly evil within me in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT have seen/realized/understood to what extent i have given this money my power of evil that is the whom i am in this world to be used and now where i am enslaved by my own evil creation which is money as my representative in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blind myself within my own fear of knowing what can happen when i do not have this peculiar thing called; 'money' in this world, and due to this always not take my responsibility to STOP the way money is being dealt with and what we do with it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief that i cannot do anything to change the way we handle money in this world so i rather just accept it and be selfish like everyone else and never try with others to form a group and truly do whatever it is in our power to bring about a world that truly is BEST for all LIVING creatures.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that the value money have in this world is the value i have given LIFE, and as i can see LIFE has absolutely NO value at all under the dictatorship of this money i have accepted and allowed to be HERE, for this money does NOT value LIFE, but consumerism/greed/control/manipulation/profit-making/destruction.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let myself walk within this system never looking for ways to bring about a world that is BEST for all LIFE, because i did not even KNOW that such system can be possible in this world,and since in my education solving problem in LIFE was NEVER given,i did not see this at all. I realize that in education that the only problem solving that is being taught is: '' problem solving tools that might NOT fucked up the capitalistic system.'' So this means that i must solve the problems in the system to keep the system going regardless of what LIFE will be taken for this to happen in whatever forms.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ones in power that are using money to execute their power on the masses, without seeing/realizing/understanding that i am as them allowing it deliberately, due to fear, both driven by the ''fear of loss.''
I commit myself to show through my walking that we at desteni are HERE to bring about a real change in this world, a change that is BEST for all LIFE, because we know it is possible.
I commit myself to every time i see myself going or about to go into blame to STOP and BREATHE and make sure i am touching something that is physically here to remind me that i am HERE, till i am stable and nothing moves within me.
I commit myself to walk next to Bernard and all the people at desteni as ONE group till this is DONE.
I commit myself to show that WE at desteni are all about bringing about in this world a world that truly for real and practically WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL LIFE..!!
My ex. is telling me that the children have a school camp thing to go to, and it is mandatory and besides that, paying for them to go is also mandatory and the date you have to pay is also mandatory. So the school is deciding for me when i need to pay them and if one cannot afford this they will call the: '' attendance officer'' which usually means in this country looking for ways to take your children away from you, because you can't take care of them. Some people belief that in this country they have some ''good rules'' but when you take a closer look to the fucking rules, they are NOT ''good'' at all. I mean by the very starting point already that there needs to be a rule to punish parents when they don't have money to take care of their children is beyond insanity. They have some social services that are to be considered ''good'' but it is a false ''goodness'' because that to is in reality an acceptance of the system as it is. By the very fact that there is this kind of NEED in a so-called: '' rich country,'' like this one i am living in right now which is Holland, it means that the system has failed. Because in a so-called: '' rich country'' ( there cannot be people living in situations where they can't take care of themselves, and that they need to be rescued by a social service fee, and it is not really a rescue but more like a way to make your life a living hell so you can go back to work( being a wage-slave) as soon as possible, it's a passive forceful way to put you back to work ), it doesn't make any sense. Now for those whom don't know how the system works,and have been brainwashed throughout their lives to accept this system no matter what, to them the system is fine, and especially when things are still working for them in the system, they will say: '' these are things you just can't stop within the system, but the system itself is perfectly fine, there is nothing wrong with the system.'' Now this is the level of understanding that amounts to insanity and ignorance of major proportion, to not say: '' STUPIDITY ''
How can i look in my children's eyes and tell them: '' you look at this world, this is what i together with all the parents in this world have been preparing for you, and your future is going to be worse then this, but when you get there your problem, you fix it yourself because i can't do that for you now, right here.'' Do i love my children if i am ALLOWING this SHIT in this world...?? So who are we then if we are NOT even willing to take this ONE decision to STAND for REAL for LIFE and STOP all atrocities in this world, because we owe it to our children, and their children and their children's children. The way things are going, if we continue like this my children maybe won't even be capable of making any children for crying out loud with all the poison that is here in this world created by us humans, and to be more precisely the psychopaths that are walking this world as PARENTS...!!! It is we the parents that are the teachers, we the parents that are the law-makers, we the parents are the politicians, we the parents are the drug addicts, we the parents are the ones going to war and creating war-machines, it is we the parents that are creating all kinds of technology that are deliberately to break in certain specific amount of time after usage...etc etc etc........No child created this fucked system HERE, it is ALL done by PARENTS, like you and me..!! So parents wake the fuck up and STOP doing what you are doing, because you will produce children that will be worse then you are today, as the evident is now more then obvious in this world through the young people..!!! And understand this is NOT an opinion or a belief or a justification or a blame or whatever, it is a factual exposure of what we as parents have done as parents, and are still doing..!!
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let a system exist that dictates what i should and should not do and all of it based on the way of the system and the way of the system is NOT a way that is BEST for all LIFE.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to let laws/rules/regulations to be mandatory within this world, without me and everyone else ever having anything to say about them, we were not involved in the decision making and the agreement about those laws/rules/regulations to be implemented on ourselves. So herein i realize we accepted and allowed laws/rules/regulations that enforces us to be slaves,and we are so used to it, that we agree with it fully now,we just accept with our whole hearts our own enslavement through laws/rules/regulations made by the ones whom consider themselves smart and intelligent. In reality they are only smart in destruction to make themselves belief they are in control,when in truth control can never happen in separation, REAL control only exists in ONENESS and EQUALITY.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that in the very word mandatory is implied that it is coming from the outside being superimposed upon me through my acceptance and allowance of it, so i go living under the dictatorship of what is mandated upon me, without me having any saying at all in it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger when i found out that i am being put under pressure to abide by the laws/rules/regulations of the system that are mandatory without me having any saying at all in what is to be mandated by others and wherein i MUST obey literally.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get angry a little bit with my ex. by always coming with this stuff to me, and like in her own way also trying to do the same thing that the system does to everyone, like put a mandate on me to comply with what is being mandatory by/through the government, just because she is afraid that they might come and take the children away.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to still react every time my ex. call me or message me, because most of the times if it is not all of the times, it will be about MONEY and her worries with and about money and asking me for money, that i don't have, and then act all frustrated and stressed when i say that i don't have it with me and give me the fault of her going through all this bullshit which makes me angry at times.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to even connect the word ''anger'' with the word ''mandatory.'' and within this i see that i give the word ''mandatory'' an weight of negativity. Thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to to give the words ''mandatory'' a n weight of negativity, for i experience it as a negative thing, because it forces me to do something that is enslaving and confining me and not freeing me, and i see that everything that is not freeing me as negative. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see everything that does not free me as negative, instead of looking at it just as what it is, as something that just doesn't free me and that is it.
I commit myself to show that mandatory laws/rules/regulations where one have not participating in making the decision for them exist and hence when they are implemented enslave one, are all created for the purpose of control or seeming control.
I commit myself to make sure that every time i am about to engage in anger to STOP take a deep breath and make sure i ground myself here, stabilize myself here and touch something that is physical in order to remind me that i am HERE.
I commit myself to show that mandatory laws/rules/regulations done without my consent and to be implemented on myself and everyone else that is not the decision makers are all crimes against LIFE,because decisions that are matters of life and death are being made without me having a saying within it,when it is about my own living, and especially when they are not what is BEST for all LIFE.
I commit myself to show that the laws/rules/regulations in this world in all institutions and establishments and corporations and companies are all laws/rules/regulations to protect these alone and the ones whom own them, but not the people that are being slave for them to keep these entities alive.
I commit myself to show that schools are just another way to make people comply to this system of abuse, and where they start to force one using the children as bates to drill their mandatory bullshit laws/rules/regulations in order to keep the control tight.
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