In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Saturday, 25 August 2012
Day 115,When Things Click Between Us.
So i am going to have a look at what this meant to me, when i was so-called: ''clicking'' with other people.
Most of the times this ''clicking'' implies individuals having almost the same way of looking/perceiving/interpreting their reality, and having almost and sometimes the same tastes in things of their liking.
So when one encounter someone like this when it comes to a partner someone is looking for, it will looks like and be experienced as a great thing and lots of energy movement happens within oneself. With this one will think/belief that this is one ''person'' is the one, the so-called: ''soul-mate''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/belief that in this world i could find the one individual that will assist and support me to be/become the BEST human i can ever be while i am HERE, for this is NOT what no-one ever have as a goal within themselves, all each have is to find someone that is equal minded to be happy with, without realizing to be happy have lots of consequences related to it in this reality and that it has nothing to do with being and becoming the BEST human one can be and become at all, because the BEST human will always in all ways do what is BEST for all LIFE, for this will be it's principle of living.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand how i was walking right into my own self-created trap of feelings and emotions without having any clue at all, what these consists of and exists as and how they manifest within me, and within this, totally accept them without any questions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to mold myself into a person that was always looking for these ''click-points'' within another as means to find them mentally attractive as a way to make myself belief that this is an ensured approach for the relationship to not get into boredom in the long run. within this i realize how i constructed my life around the fear of boredom.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to mold myself to create a character that will step in every time i would see the so-called pattern that constituted within me a point recognizable as the ''click-point'' that i create within myself about what the person i am speaking with and that i have already find attractive by the way they look,and within this now is looking for more cemented points within them in order to attach myself to them as to make sure this one choice as to be with this person will be my perceived/interpret perfection, what would mean to me that we are navigating on the same mental wave so to speak.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for woman that will have this thing that will click between to the two of us, and when this is present, it will make me create another character within me that will become the character that will try and seduce this person that i see within me that is my so-called: ''match'' without knowing anything at all in fact about this person, just some points that i have given value within me that i think/belief i have to have in order for me to have a fruitful relationship with a partner.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that a fruitful relationship will be based on my judgement of the person i want to be with based on my assumptions of what i think/belief we have as a match without even knowing all about the person in fact of whom this person is in fact in every moment.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make choices based on how things feels within me, instead of making choices of what will be BEST for all LIFE and walk it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to never see/realize/understand that in choosing to be with one where there have to be this ''clicking point'' is implying that i must close/limit myself enough to this one particular person, which is a complete separation,that i have made myself addicted to so much that i even constructed and created a character within me that will defend this limited perspective of myself in looking for an illusion that is called: ''love.''
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the character that is '' the defender of the clicking-points'' that will step forth/in every time i make the choice to NOT choose to use my assumptions based on what i think/belief is a match within the personality of the person i have found attractive by looking at.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to defend my own assumption, because i am addicted to my own assumption, so deliberately choosing to assume when i already know within myself that assumption is NOT what is REAL,because my assumptions about the person are never what the person is in fact in real flesh. I realize that i know most people will put an act to be liked by the one they like so my assumption about them is based on liking the act, which is another character they are in and as in that moment just because they also like me, and want/desire/wished to be found likable by the one they like. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately choose to go for making myself fall for a act, just because of what i already decided within me that i wanted when i look at the body that is real and that have attractive parts of interests to me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the way the person will present herself as a way to commence my navigation on assumptions based on a presentation that is rooted within me as my own self-created wants/needs/desires.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to connect the presentation of the person to what i will be assuming of them based on this particular presentation that i have placed as an presentation that will be likable to me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to base my choice to be or want to be with someone on a limited judgement as '' clicking points '' instead of intimately getting to know someone for real.
I commit myself to STOP myself every time i see myself or i am about to go into my judgements and look for clicking points to match the person i find attractive and BREATHEEEEEEEE..............................and remind myself by touching something that is physically here, so i don't loose myself within my mind.
I commit myself to STOP myself whenever i see myself looking for ways to justify my own self-created craving for pursuit of happiness that is more like a catch 22, which is also a pursuit of unhappiness, and BREATHE to ground myself back HERE and make sure that i am touching something that is physical to keep reminding myself that HERE is where i am.
I commit myself to STOP looking for clicking points in woman that i find attractive, because these clicking points are just assumptions and are really also based on the play the woman is in, in that particular moment.
I commit myself to show that all clicking points are just judgements about characters in action, and not what the individual really is in fact.
I commit myself to little by little as i walk my process of self-correction to STOP all my assumptions/judgements of myself and others as myself through my writing and my commitments to LIFE.
I commit myself to show that clicking points are a nice way to hide ourselves of not facing ourselves as what we really are within/as ourselves and is just a character play to find validation and approval.