Wednesday 29 June 2016

Day 377. Why Is GIVING Such a Problem For us The Humans?

Many of us humans, know that we have a problem with giving. We have created a society where if one is in the act of giving, it is being seen as a abnormality, something outside the norms, and we have managed to change the word; giving in some cases and call it charity, as if when one do this charity,  it is seen as an act of being noble and even an act of caring.

       

As one can see that which we have given other names to, is so, so we can see ourselves as beings that are caring, is actually telling us something about the way we live, the way we have come to shape our societies, where the act of giving is not a norm, has become something we do once in awhile in order to feel good about ourselves, because deep down we are aware that the way our societies are shaped is not healthy and goes against the nature of life on this earth, which is TO GIVE!!

Our foods are a gift
Our bodies are a gift
Our earth is a gift
All the resources we use to built and create things with in this world are gifts of LIFE.
Our breath is a gift
Life itself is a gift

Have a look. Do we pay the foods we eat? Do we pay the earth for the body it gives us to express within and as? Do we pay the Sun and Moon?  Do we pay the air we breathe? Do we pay the water itself we drink and wash ourselves with? Do we pay the resources we use? Do we pay life ?  Whom do we pay? Is it not the humans we are paying with the fruits of our labors and the fruits of our talents? Why does the human believe so much so that it even went as far as creating a system wherein it needs to be paid because it has contributed to something? Why is contributing to society not a gift, but something that one rather be paid for? Why do we see giving as something weak and not valuable and in some cases even wrong when everything we need that we are using in this world is a gift to us?

Life support itself through all that it is through giving.

Now we are going to school to study something, because we have made of our lives something that needs to be paid for. Everyone is doing something in order to get paid, and with getting paid, I do not necessarily mean; getting money, however the fact that one thinks and believe that one needs to "get" something because one have done something, contributed to something, this pattern is related to wanting/wishing to be special.
The idea of wanting to be special have brought lots of problems we now face in this world.
The whole wanting to be better than others in whatever, or thinking and believing that one is more than others or has more value than others stems from this want, this wish, this desire to be special.
As we can clearly see specialness can only exist in separation, and not in Equality and Oneness of life HERE. Specialness is conflict and friction, not necessarily something that is " bad/wrong/negative," however something that requires energy to exist, it cannot exist HERE in Breath, in effortless flow of life as Equality and Oneness.

Thus the solution to our problem as humanity is to start living the word: " GIVING." Enough with living the word: " PAYING!!"  Enough with living the word: " SPECIAL!!"


Thanks,



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Wednesday 15 June 2016

Day 376, Who Am I In The Word Support PART 4

For context here are the 3 previous blogs related to this one.


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/06/day-375-who-am-i-in-support-part-3.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/05/day-374-who-am-i-in-word-support-part-2.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/04/day-373-who-am-i-in-word-support.html


Now continuing with finishing of on this point.



                                 

Self-Commitment statements:

I see, realize and understand that I am not prioritizing what I need to do in my life, because it gives me the self-interest outcome of  postponing on myself a little bit longer, meaning stretching my time in order to indulge in self-interest interest.


I see, realize and understand that I am in my mind trying to compress my process, as looking for a way to shortcut it, however by doing this I keep on looking within  my mind for a shortcut that never comes, because there is no real physical/practical movement, no real doing practically, and by only actually doing what I need to do in regards to my process the shortcut comes in the form of digging deeper into myself as to assessing how I created myself to be and become what I am up to this moment.


I see, realize and understand that I am living a personality out in the world of someone that is a nice person, to avoid myself getting into trouble with other people and also to avoid speaking my own truth and also speaking out common sense perspectives I see within others that might be very uncomfortable for the other, and due to it being an uncomfortable topic or issue, I can avoid it by being nice to everyone.

I see, realize and understand that I avoid to talk to people about uncomfortable points, because of self-judgement I had in relation to past experiences I had in the past wherein I became angry and the anger turned into rage, and thus not wanting myself to be rage, I avoid all of it completely.

I see/realize and understand that the rage that exists within me is about me holding on to anger and fear within me for a long time, and because it has accumulated so much of energy within me, it has to come out some time, thus when the opportunity is here, it all comes out as rage.

I see/realize and understand that through/via rage I am being the abuser I am myself trying to stop outside myself as another as myself, when in reality I am equally participating in the same construct.


I see/realize and understand that I am sometimes refusing help from others, because I judge their help as a debt, as a way they can get back at me when they need me, and have then something to throw at my face, they can use it to their advantage against me IF I cannot be of help to them.

I see/realize and understand that I have created a whole defense mechanism about this issue of being helped within myself to deliberately based on my self-judgement of being helped by others, to always help people without an agenda, just to like show others: " see, this is how it is suppose to be like." thus turning my helping others into kind of like a revenge kind of thing.


I see/realize and understand that all of this self-judgement within me is suiting the fear of being abused by others that exists within me as me as thoughts and memories.


I see/realize and understand that I postpone my own process because I use the self-created believe that I still have time, so I can take it slow, no need to rush or anything......however I am also aware that I am not aware when my time will be up and then it will be too late. Thus just working on myself as I should is what needs to be done.


I commit myself to push myself however with care and patience to prioritize and personalize my process in a way that it works best for me and wherein I do not have the " feeling" that I am overwhelmed by my process and that it is a drag.

I commit myself to stop trying to find an easy way out, a easier way to do process, which does not exist, it only exist in my mind as an illusion, because changing me requires real practical physical movement and application in real physical time.


I commit myself to be directive within expressing myself and stand within I am aware is common sense and what is best for all, and what I accept and allow and what I will not accept and allow.


I commit myself to work on my fears of being abused by others through applying myself in self forgiveness in every moment points like these come up within me, in order to not create believes that lead to consequences of me participating in this world as someone I am not.


I commit myself to keep on digging on the anger that exists within me that I have accumulated in the past within me through forgiving me and to really work out all of it so I cannot be influenced by them anymore, because they do not exist within me anymore.


I commit myself to work on my issue of fearing to be helped by others because of the believe I have created within me about others wanting to use that as a means to have an advantage over me through self forgiveness in order to free myself completely from this self created believe till there is none of it left in me that can influence my decision making and thus little by little allowing myself to be helped by others if asked and if needed.

I commit myself to work on my postponement point for real till it does not exist within me anymore, making sure that whenever I see myself going into or I am about to go into deliberately postpone my process, to stop and breathe and forgive it and then work it out through forgiveness.




Thanks.



Larry Manuela




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Monday 13 June 2016

Day 375, Who Am I in the Word Support PART 3

I left off in my previous blog writing out the following:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have abused others more than a dozen times in my life, because of having power and control over them, because I see fear in them, instead of choosing to assist and support them to not be in fear and also for myself to assist and support myself to not go into fear myself that turns into rage, that than have an outflow of physical abuse to/towards another as myself.



Now in this blog will continue.

for more context I suggest reading the two previous blogs about this point.


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/05/day-374-who-am-i-in-word-support-part-2.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/04/day-373-who-am-i-in-word-support.html










continuing with Self-Forgiveness:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a victim that needs to fight against a bully or an abuser to protect myself, without seeing/realizing and understanding by fighting against a bully which is an abuser, I am in fact equal and one with the very thing I am against.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a nice person, because by being a nice person I can manipulate others into liking me, accepting what I term me or find myself to be more easily, without seeing/realizing and understanding that what I perceive myself to be is of a personality design within and as my mind conscious system, that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to portray myself as a nice person, because it makes my living process much easier, as if  "easy" is what life should be like, when in reality I am aware that because of what I have accepted and allowed to be done to life in my name, in my participation, either direct or indirect has contributed to an uneasy way of living for myself and for all other forms of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have an easy life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want and desire to have an easy life, because I am living a life that is the reverse of how I should be living life, which is to live a life that has results that are best for all of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to be helped when I was aware within and as myself that I do need the help in these moments, however just because of my own self-judgments have refused the help offered by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to let others help me, because I judge them helping in order for me to later on be also of help to them when they need it, thus a form of owing them something because they helped me once.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge that others are helping or are wanting to help me, because they want to have something to tell me if one day they need my help and I cannot, than they can rub it in my face how they helped me in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to hold that judgement within me about others and therefore most of the time refuse to be helped, because of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse help based on my self-judgement, because it suits my self-interest, self-created believe that others are out to manipulate me and use me, take advantage of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to turn this self-judgement out within my world and be against it in practical living where I will help individuals to show them that I am helping them without having an agenda, that I am not helping them because I might need there help one day, thus I help them now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that helping someone based on these premises/these points are based on my self-interest need of tackling and fighting against my own self-judgement projected to/towards others as myself as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize and understand that behind this self-judgment is the fear of being abused and used by others as myself within and as myself existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear based character within and as myself that deals with this self-created opinion/self-judgement about others so that I can keep on feeding this deep rooted underneath the veil fear, that hides itself there in order for me to not face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep this fear of others wanting to abuse or use me intact within me in order to generate more energy for my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack in proceeding in working out my inner problems as I should.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to not proceed as I should because it suits my self-interest to put a hold on myself, thus a hold-on on my self-change, a hold-on on facing all of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my self-change, because of thinking and believing that I still have time, I delude myself with myself still having time, and take it too slow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it too slow just because I allow myself to indulge into points I haven't cleared out about myself yet totally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my common sense perspectives about myself even when they are clear as daylight what I am accepting and allowing to exist within me as me in every given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not support myself in the moments of seeing/realizing and understanding that I am letting myself down in not proceeding with what I am aware I must do to change myself in every moment of breath.


Will continue in the next blog.....................


Thanks.



Larry Manuela



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