Saturday, 14 July 2012

Day 82, Why I Can't Forgive You Yet...???

Let me answer this question as my title for this blog here immediately before i move to self-forgiveness.

 

 

The answer is, because i have not forgiven myself for all that i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.!!  How can i apply something that i myself never lived..??  Here i am talking about me/us(humans) in this world, the majority that is, whom are saying we must ''learn to forgive others.''  So within this, one MUST learn how to forgive oneself FIRST, to know what it is all about before you can forgive another as yourself as what you have accepted and allowed them to be/become as the mirror of yourself.  To play a character that is forgiving when you have NOT ever used forgiveness as a tool on yourself and for yourself, it is you just being another character that pretends to be all ''good'' and ''nice'' and ''benevolent'' when in truth it is just another character in your mind as the representation of these words as what you want to pretend to be as a character in the world as if you have changed and is another human being that truly cares and honor LIFE, when it is in fact a LIE, as the world mirrors our truths as what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to BE/become in every human that is HERE.

So within this blog i am going to do self-forgiveness on the ''you'' character that the ''I'' character is projecting out of itself so it can remain in character as the ''I'' as the main character in the mind.


Self-forgiveness:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always blame ''you'' as the one that is the reason why the ''I'' as the ''ME'' is allowing the suffering and atrocities of many many beings that are here to exist.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from you as my sister.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself  from you as my father.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from you as my mother.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from you as my son.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from you as my daughter.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to judge you for being beautiful.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you for being ugly.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you for being clever.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you for being stupid.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be a saintly person.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be a evil person.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be wrong.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be right.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be positive.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be negative.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be greedy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be a giver.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you as less then me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be more then me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be superior then me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be inferior then me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be poor.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be starving.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be rich.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you as a horrible person.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be a nice person.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to be a sexy person.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge you to NOT being a sexy person.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire you because you match my images that i would like to have.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare you with the images in my head as if these are real and treat the real you, as the body that is here as the images in my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say to you,that i love you, when in reality i wanted to love only what you represent as the image i compare you with in my mind, being totally self-interested to/towards you.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wish and desire so much to have sex with you, as you are the one in my mind where i am interested to have sex with as the desired sex character i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only look for you as the personality that i hold within my mind that you must be otherwise i will just not notice you at all.

 

I forgive myself that when i see you as an animal i don't see you as an equal being here expressing itself as another part of the greater part of me, but as the judgement of the what i perceive you to be in my mind,and the value i give you in my mind, where the word: ''animal'' is implying to me that you are not ''human'' so does not deserve equal treatment, when in reality the you as the substance as the body of the animal is the same as the mine as the human, only differently designed.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to every time i have killed you in order for me to eat and stay alive, i did not eat you in gratefulness for supporting me here in this world in this moment, for i have not seen/realized/understood how you gave up your LIFE so i can continue mine.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  to lie to you that i will give my all to you, when my all to you was meant as long as i am interested to get out of you what i want and desire of you.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to value you above all the other you's so i can validate my own self-interest where i see value in separation and comparison.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give you as the earth to little of importance in my life, because i live in my mind and not as one as equal as my body which is part of you as the earth.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that i care for you, but i did not really care for you, because the I/me in my mind doesn't care for no-one, only using the meaning of the word care to get what the I/me wants as self-interest.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my projection of myself as you's mirroring myself for the whom i am inside myself so that whatever i judge as what i see/perceive/understand coming from my mind is me showing myself, myself.


I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the you i am looking at and judging is only my own interpretation of my mind of you as what exist as myself within my mind as memories.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive you, because i saw in myself that i need not forgive me, so if i need not forgive me, how need i forgive you.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not respect you as my body, because i never met you and never was one and equal with you, the only relationship i have with you is that i can ''say'' you are my body, and that is about it, when in reality i am not in fact you, because i am not one and equal as you here as LIFE. So within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the word: ''you'' to address you as my body because i live in my mind and not as you as me here in oneness and equality as LIFE as my body that is the real ME.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see how the simple 3 letter word as''Y-O-U ''  is here only to make me see how i have separated myself from myself into many you's and where ''I'' can only see myself now as in separation of/with all the you's i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as the you's where i am lost as my self-judgement as how i define the you's within myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have come to let myself belief you as a spiritual master, when all i needed to do was seeing that you are equal and one with me, and within this i forgive myself that i have not forgiven you as a definition of a spiritual master that exists within me as separate from myself within my mind, without seeing/realizing/understanding a definition is only there when i am not one and equal as life as what is HERE, because if i was, i would not need definitions of what and whom i am, for all is me as LIFE and as LIFE i live.


I commit myself that whenever i see myself going into or is about to go into judgements, i STOP and take many deep breaths as necessary to ground myself here as my breath and make sure i am touching something that is physical so i don't loose myself within my mind definitions as judgements.


I commit myself to look at all judgements as me separating myself from myself and correct myself through my writings, self-forgiveness and my commitments to life so i debunk all that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in this world.


I commit myself to little by little forgive all my self-judgements for what i perceive/interpret through my mind.


I commit myself to little by little through my writings and my self-forgiveness delete all my perceived separations is my life and make sure to just be here as one as equal as all that is here.


Thanks


Larry Manuela

 

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