In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
Day 79, Me When Student
Within this blog i am going to write my self-forgiveness on my life when i was a student.
When i look back at the last living as a student that i did, i can see that i feared being in a position where i have to managed people and things, but it was mainly to managed people, i didn't want to tell no-one what they should do or not do, i never liked this in my life, to order people around. And this one fear made me always avoid studying things that will put me in such positions, where i will have to judge people by their ability to work, and if they don't function as what will make the boss more money then i am the one that will have to sent them home, when deep within myself i would look at what someone is good at and let this person do that as work. But in this system as it is, the managers and supervisor are also fucked, because if they don't sent the people home, they are going to be sent home themselves, so therefore they will do whatever it takes for them not to be sent home, because they didn't do their job as they should have done, and sending people home is one part of it,and the other is to force them to work to create more and more and more money/profit for the boss to be happy.
To say the least everything in the work environment is NOT acceptable at all. The work we do are not work that one can be proud of, because we only work to support a system that does NOT support LIFE. So no matter what you do as work in this world it is all in VAIN. We must change together this whole reason and purpose why we work, and change work into working for that which will be BEST for all LIFE, so then we won't work to get paid, but work to SUPPORT LIFE. And then we can all talk about us doing work where we are proud of, and that the works we do are honorable work, because it supports ALL LIFE in every way possible always.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be a character as a student in this world where i will as society dictate of me to fill myself with knowledge and information in order for me to just get a job when i am done, because that is all we humans do, get a job and get paid and wait till you die, and when you get paid you can use the money to buy what society have dictated one should be doing with ones money, and within all this i accepted all of it as what LIFE on planet earth is all about, getting an education if you can, so you can get to the money later on as a form of debt, because that is what i studied for, to be in DEBT later on, to support a system of DEBT with my ooohhh soooo intelligent education.
I commit myself to show that all educations in this world no matter what it is, is only existing to support the system of abuse, a system of self-interest, a system where life is NOT honored nor VALUED. The only value life have in this system of education is to learn how to get money sucking on the resources of earth like a parasite.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be a character that feared studying to be someone that will be on top of others where i will make the decisions of how they ought to work as how i would like it to work for me so to suit the boss above me and then finally suit the system above all of us within which we all fear together, because we have given the system of DEBT meaning and value above that of LIFE, where LIFE is not even on the second place.
I commit myself to quit my fearing of studying ''important studies/higher learning'' within this system and study what i need to study to get myself into a position within this world where i can STOP the abuses that are here in this world. Take my directive responsibility to that which i've accepted and allowed to be HERE in my name as the characters i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge studying as something ''bad'' and in so doing create a character that will avoid studying especially the studies that revolve around me being above others, as putting me in positions in every way even in salary above others which i saw as ''wrong'' and as selfish.
I commit myself to STOP the judgements that exist within me as a character that avoid to study higher learning because i see it as bad/wrong/selfish.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character that feared being in higher positions, because the main fear of me as this character is the fear of changing the shit that i know is not acceptable, that i have accepted and allowed to be here in this world, and that in these positions i will be fought against for me not to change anything.
I commit myself to STOP myself in creating a character(s) of fear and instead be me here as the main character as the flesh that is here, and walk as flesh without characters as memories in the mind, and do what is BEST for ALL LIFE HERE.
I commit myself to show that it is possible to use what is already here and change it to support that which is best for all life.