Sunday, 1 July 2012

Day 73, Character number 1-One

Today is a very excited day because i got to hear that we are always in every moment creating a character based on what we have placed within our memories as thoughts.

 

 


now i am going to deal with the character of me at home all by myself.


Self-forgiveness:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be another me as when i am at home that is not the same me when outside of the home.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be all alone back-chatting my way into a mind-fuck just to get out of the silence that is here in my room, it so quiet here, that i can here myself thinking, instead of me focusing on my breathing as me, one and equal.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i am cooking i am the character that is cooking.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character based on what website i am visiting, and what specific words i will be using to play out as this character.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character when i am taking a dumb, that will sit there and have all kinds of imaginations about himself as being this great soccer player.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when i am taking a shower to engage into another character that belief he is one day going to make enough money to invest it in LIFE, and within this all the nice memories of how that could play out will arrive to make the character in the mind seem real, because i am experiencing the illusion within myself, i experience the thoughts.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a back-chat where i am lashing out, playing a character that is a politician whom is standing up for life, believing myself to be this great politician that will save humanity together with others from it's own self-created  hell hole.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to characterize myself as this great singer that is very famous and knows how to sing and touch people make them all ''feel'' the song and bring great changes in them.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be this angry character that have disputes with others in my own mind where i must be the winner of course and also the one that is always right about everything.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be an character that find himself looking good in specific clothing. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge certain specific clothing to be better suiting me then others, when the ''better'' suiting me is about better suiting the character i am in that moment.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look around in the room and judge myself as a character living an isolated life all by himself talking to myself playing different characters at once that is talking to different woman and trying to seduce them in my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be this character that is a nature lover and is in heavy argument with people whom are defending corporations and is trying to convince them that we cannot continue fucking up our home that is the earth, because we all die, no-one will survive, and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the world being fucked by ourselves as humanity.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give value to my own characters in my mind that i create to play the character game all the time.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play this character in my mind that is this great philosopher who has a very clear vision and understanding of life, when in reality it is just a character looking at himself as character and give it importance/validation/value.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as this character that is surfing the internet and sometimes look for a woman that might be interested in me as this character that know exactly what buttons to push to get them to say what i will hear and in order for me to built my character around that and seduce them with their own words, making them ''fall'' basically for their own words, within their conversation with me as this character whom is great with manipulating woman with words, especially when it comes to the topic of SEX.

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to built a character that i talk to within my own mind about my process as if i am having a conversation with another one of me, that knows better then the ME that is asking questions, and the Me that is asking question is relying on the other ME that is answering because that other ME is more directive and to the point and knows a great deal. Within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself in breath and rely completely on characters created by myself in my own mind to tell me what i should do or not do, and find the back-chat conversations to be importance and validate them to as important and not my breath HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes create a character within my mind that will play out the: ''the emotional guy'' that knows how to use words and make people all emotional and wanting to cry, because of the word the character uses that work on the memories they have that will trigger emotions within them and make them cry because of this.


I commit myself to whenever i see myself going to or about to go into character building to STOP and take many deep breaths till i am just here in and as my breath and do not participate into this character building, that will create just more and more characters, and make sure to touch something that is here physical so i remind myself that i am HERE.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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