In this blog i will walk myself to nothingness for 7 years onward of self-forgiveness, self-correction and as so i take upon me all that i have accepted and allowed to be HERE as life as me as all.
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Day 83, Anger part 1..!!
My ex. send me a message today to telling me that the possibility for her to loose ''her house'' is big, she needs € 1500,- because she was late with her payments, and because she was already in a ''deal'' and have to pay exactly at the date they assign you to pay, if you don't do that, they will stop the deal and force you to pay the whole sum in 2 or 3 days and if you can't they will put you out of the house. Cool system ain't it..??? And i am living in Holland where they ''say'' the government has some good social benefits. Well let me tell you this, there is no such thing in this world, as long as a system of DEBT is HERE.!!! There are people and these are people that of course still have things working for them within the system, that will tell you in your face that the system is good, you are the one that should have not made DEBTS. HA HA HA. So clever isn't it, to talk such bullshit, and especially when it comes out of mouths of people whom have studied at a university level and a high-school level. They are either ignorant, mentally ill, or just plain abusers. Well i would say, they are all of them together in one package. And this to, is a proof that the garbage that one study in high- schools or universities are NOT to be trusted, because they never produce people that truly work to bring about a world that is BEST for all LIFE. They only produce robots that will do whatever it takes to save the system, as if the system is LIFE, as you can now see all over the world, people in governments trying to save Banks and corporations. I mean WTF..!! I don't even watch television for a long time already, because it is all just a show, literally, a total drama and fear instigators acting as if they don't safe the system and with a very straight/serious looking face, we will all die. Acting as if the food and water and everything that the planet provide for free will suddenly disappear if the system collapses. This is the level of stupidity that exist in this world, that we have come to accept and allow such bullshit, and it is not even done in secret, right in our faces..!! Everyone knows..!!
Here they have these wonderful people working as bailiffs, such a wonderful job in the system where you get the opportunity to fuck with people's living, and put them in more DEBTS and if they can't pay together with the police, they come and put them out of their homes, and to make it even more perfect, they come in the name of the Queen in this country. And did you know they have a Queens-day over here where everybody have a fest because of her birthday..??? Everybody is happy and drinking their asses off and singing and applauding and wanting to greet and shake the hand of the Queen and all the wonderful bullshit, when this same Queen is allowing people to get EVICTED in HER NAME...!! Such a wonderful system..!! This system appears to be so perfect for the ones on top that they can actually make laws/rules/regulations where the only way you can get something that the planet already provides for free, is by paying them, because somehow they see themselves as the ones whom have made it possible for the distribution of the goods and all the foods and stuff that are needed, so because of this somehow they should be paid for their enormous contribution to the world. Now, is it them whom are the ones working practically to produce the goods and provide the services or is it just you and me...?? They just handle the money and the laws to protect them with the money( the illusion part). So if we are already doing all the work, do we need them....?? do we need their stinking money...?? We are the ones that are the farmers, we are the ones that built all the machines, we are the ones that built those airplanes, we are the ones building all the ships, we are the cooks, we are the ones making bread, we are the ones producing and making all the foods, we are the ones building the cars and trucks, we are the ones making all the electronic devices and computers, we are the ones working and producing electricity, we are the ones making all the steel and cement, we are the ones building the houses and roads, we are the ones doing all the practical work what really matters, and yet we are also the ones that are stupid enough to pay for it, because we accept and allow some words put on paper by some greedy and ill minded individual(s) to be more then us, where these words on paper appear to have a life of their own and be in control of us as LIFE, when all we need to do is burn all those law-books for they NEVER supported LIFE..!!! and----- [put just 1(ONE) law, which is: ''that which is best for all LIFE in ALL WAYS, always..!!''].........so i am asking you WHAT THE FUCK is your fear....???
I am putting all this so one can see the level of stupidity we have and the mental illness that is prevalent, day in/day out accepting and allowing bullshit from ourselves and others as ourselves, we are all together with those in power mentally ILL, that is why we don't do nothing..!!! So you see they give you just a little bit so you don't complain and ask questions as to WHY you have to pay for something that is already here and that no-one is the owner. So they give you just enough to keep you in line doing their bidding and be a nice wage-slave and all the other kinds of slavery that are here in this world. It is time to wake up and work together as a real group and STOP ourselves for being killers/abusers/greedy/control freaks/manipulators/liars/rapers/fearful etc etc...................
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have a slight reaction of anger when my ex. told me that she can be evicted with children and all, if she does not come up with the sum of money soon.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge/blame the bailiffs doing their work for they to are as afraid as anyone else for loosing their jobs and will go to the extreme as of what is impose upon them just to NOT loose their jobs.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge/blame the Queen for her way of living for she to, is as blind as anyone else in her character as a Queen where she sees herself as more then others and deserving her life to be the way it is in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the monetary system for the atrocities that are here, when it is ME and US that is also supporting the monetary system, without us, their is no monetary system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in a little fear when i heard the news, for my children are there living in that home and if they have to get evicted they are going to have to come to me, but i am only living in a room, it is not a house, and my job is not a job where i can also be with them all the time at home,giving me another problem in this system in this country for they can take your children from you to if they knew this, that you can't take care of them, instead of really supporting you they will take your children away and give someone else the support to support your children but not you.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to start having thoughts of doubts within my mind related to my ex. not handling the situation with money well.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wish that this system will just collapse as in pronto, so we can deal with the mess much faster, and get the shit over with.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that i have to have patients and wait for more people to get their chance also to realize for themselves WTF is going on and start to walk their own process of self-correction and self-forgiveness in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see ourselves as humanity as being stupid beings, because we accept and allow everything without ever questioning nothing, forgetting that humanity is as of right now as me a part of humanity just a pre-programmed robot to always live in fear as fear.
To be continued in part 2...where i will continue with some self-forgiveness statements and then with my self commitments to life statements.