Sunday, 8 July 2012

Day 77, Me And My Mother

Within this blog i am going to write self-forgiveness and my commitment statements regarding the character(s) i am with and around my mother.

 

 


Self-forgiveness:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character around my mother that will be the son of my mother.


I commit myself to STOP myself in participating in creating and acting as the character as the son when i am with my mother and just be here in breath one and equal with my mother and treat/talk/behave as equal to my mother.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be this character with my mother where i feel more feelings for my mother then the rest of the family members within my family of my mother and father and my siblings.


I commit myself to STOP my own participation in feelings to/towards my mother where i exalt her as special, because i see mother as someone special the one that gave me the chance the be here with this physical world.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play this character with my mother that shows ''respect'' to my mother, which is just a ''character that respects his mother,''  and not real respect, as real respect would be not a character as in my mind, but the character as my flesh treating my mother as myself as flesh as one as equal.


I commit myself To STOP myself in creating character(s) that are showing ''respect'' is in respect that is system-wise, and instead walk as that which is real respect that is oneness and equality as LIFE here.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character that will in all ways as possible protect my mother, without seeing/realizing/understanding that protecting my mother and not all mothers as life is me accepting and allowing myself and all of life to exist in separation.


I commit myself to NOT participate into a character that is playing a hero when a hero is just another character i create to play within this movie of characters i am participating in, without seeing/realizing/understanding that characters in my mind are all not real and are all part of memories existing within me, that i need to forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and letting them exist within me as me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ''love'' my mother above all people just because i was taught by my mother herself and society as a whole that this is what one as a child should do when here on planet earth,so within this creating another personality/character that loves his mother above all.


I commit myself to STOP myself into participating in this love that is taught and that is not a love that is equal in living life and treating all parts of LIFE as equal to itself, so within this i debunk myself using self-forgiveness and my writing to delete these characters i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a character around my mother that does not use ''vile language as in bad words'' because i have been taught by my mother that these words are not words that one should be using.


I commit myself to Just be whom i am here as breath when interacting with my mother and if i have to use a word like: ''fuck'' for example i will use it to describe the atrocities that we accept and allow to be here, which is the perfect word to describe it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to always be the character with my mother that is suiting her character that loves me so much and have me as her favored child, without seeing/realizing/understanding how i within this character play i am busy supporting my mother in living in separation as in choosing to give more value to one then others as life here. Thus within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself into this character that holds my mother into character that acts in self-interest by loving me or having more affection for me then my other siblings and within this where i see myself as special to my mother because she have more affection for me.


I commit myself to get out of this character that support the character of my mother by letting her give me more affection of mother then my other siblings and also to make sure i am not the character that sees myself as special and more then the others because my mother have more affection for me, and make sure to breathe and be here and stand within and as my breath and make sure i am here as my physical body one and equal and out of my characters creation in my mind.

 

 

I commit myself to whenever i see myself going into character creation or character already created playing out, to STOP and BREATHE and bring myself here  making sure i am touching something physical here so i don't get lost within my memories where all these characters are existing, and one by one as they come up self-forgive myself them all, so i step by step one by one delete all the characters that i have accepted and allowed myself to belief myself to be in this world.


Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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