Sunday, 18 September 2016

Day 380, a new beginning in the middle of continuation. Aloneness day:1

Within this post I will be working a point I have been stuck with for a very long time, however now have decided that I really have to pick myself up and do what needs to be done.





                                                                       
 


SF on aloneness

Day 1:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the outside world, the humans in this world as people that do not really care about what is going on in this world, thus accepting and allowing myself to create within myself an emotion of me being all alone as someone that is caring, without seeing/realizing and understanding that this “ caring “ is just a word I use within and as my mind to exactly support the very personality/character I have created to judge the outside world with, the people in the world that I judge as not caring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a separation within my mind between me and the outside world, the people in the world, in order to have a point of ME against THEM to exist within me as me and as my mind as myself as self here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the outside world, people in the world as “ not caring,” because within myself I also judge myself as not caring, because I do not see that I am being effective enough to bring about a world that would best for everyone and everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my process of becoming one and equal with life here, birthing myself here in the physical as life as something that is a burden and that looks like I am not doing anything in the outside world that would really matter to change the world in fact, without seeing/realizing and understanding that the outside world, as the people in the world I judge as not caring is actually an accumulation of each individual as is myself not being responsible human beings in this world, to and towards life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the emotion of sadness to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, in order for me as the personality of aloneness to keep on existing within me as me as the mind, because I create within myself a reason now through sadness to stagnate myself, to not move, that I do not need to actually change because change as what is best for all does not exist anyways, thus just keep on being alone and experiencing emotions of sadness about experiencing myself as alone in the mind is a fine prerequisite to not change in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear real change, because I have no idea what I will be and become as an actual real human living, expressing what is best for all in the face of what is not best for all as is the status quo in the world at the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being brutalized, abused and tramped down, annihilated, humiliated, abandoned in this world, by the people of this world if I would to actually change and become a living expressing human being that gives a damn about life, because the world as it exist now is a world where life has no meaning, no value other than to abuse life as living forms as slaves to accumulate money and execute control over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let all these “ what if’s” to have dominion over my process of changing me as a human being that actually lives care, lives what is best for all life in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through accepting and allowing fear of changing me, because of judging myself as to what could happen if I would change to me, to interfere with my process of actually living, changing me as what would be best for all life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that through the creation of the personality/character of aloneness within and as me, I am in fact busy not actually moving and thus, creating myself within the physical as someone that does not care, because in the physical care means giving, real practical/physical giving and I am not giving care to myself, thus not giving care to the world either.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give myself responsibility and thus always fall in my own mind trap of being irresponsible and not walking my process of change as I am aware I should.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use aloneness within as myself to trap myself into not moving, not changing in order to create friction and thus energy to support my own mind personalities/characters that are existing only by my permission to be against myself for not allowing myself to be responsible, for not allowing myself to live self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself in assessing within myself what is going on, because I am aware of myself that when I do so I have to stop this personality I have created within and as myself to disturb and hinder my own change, to procrastinate myself, keeping on postponing my own change.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand as to what extent I have accepted and allowed myself to, through the personality/character of “ aloneness” exclude myself from not involving myself with my own self creation as a human being that stop abuse within and as himself and give care to himself and thus through giving care to myself, being able to actually live care as who I am in the world.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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