Day 372, Drug Experimentation Success or Failure. Part 4

Now I am continuing with where I left off yesterday.

Here are the links in relation to this blog I wrote previously.


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/01/day-371-drug-experimentation-success-or.html



http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2016/01/day-370-drug-experimentation-success-or.html


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.nl/2015/12/day-369-drug-experimentation-success-or.html




                                                                     

Self-forgiveness statements continuation:




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that, that which is termed human nature by me/us the human(s) is something that cannot be changed, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that it is the nature I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the nature of myself that projects its nature upon my body forcing my body to live the nature I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the whom I am in this world, in this reality, in this moment accepting and allowing myself to be a nature that is not equal and one with the nature of life on earth as all the expression that exist of and as life, however living the nature of the mind consciousness system that is equal and one within and as inequality as self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, because of not practically applying myself in every moment of every breath to be here as one as equal as my breath, expressing me as the breath of life within and as and through the body as what is best for all life, I make myself believe that it is a difficult and hard thing to do and to be, when I am aware that I can change anything that is energy within and as me, because I have done it several times what I only need now is to be constant and consistent in my application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated about being frustrated, because within and as myself I am also aware that I am not sticking to my own decision I have made to stand regardless of what the mind shoot off onto me as the breath of life and as the body/substance of life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my mind more than often and not just be here within and as my breath, my physical breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow and sometimes acted upon ideas about drugs and the usage of drugs without actually really seeing/realizing and understanding what is at stake here within and as my human physical body and within and as the world at large as the consequences as outcomes that are damaging and destructive and abusive in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see drugs as a problem when I am aware that it is not the drugs themselves that is the problem, however that it is me as all as the human beings that is the problem wanting/desiring to be something else within and as the mind not expressing as in living as who they are as the human form they are in this world in this reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link drugs to money and sex and fun, and the fun part being using the drugs with other drug using people in order to have fun in having sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek/look for fun with women by accepting and allowing myself to squeeze myself within their groups, those of whom uses drugs as a way to also have fun and doing things that will be considered wild.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that by being wild as the others that I perceive are having fun while being high in certain specific moments and in certain specific situations, that it is o.k. to join in and do and act the same as them in order for me to get one of these women that are also within these groups.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to more than often place myself into all kinds of situations with all kinds of people, and sometimes even people I won't interact with usually, just in order for me to get myself into a position, in a spot where the possibility to get sex is much, much greater.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my self-worth away in the pursuit of that which I thought would be worthy, when it is all outside of me and representing to me that which I could not get, however yet because of it being so, made me more determine to give it a try anyways, crushing my boundaries for something that is actually not important at all and that does not have a result that will be best for all.

To be continued......................



Thanks,

Larry Manuela

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