Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Day 316, Who am I in relationship with the word: "money." Part 5

Now continuing with the last part of self-commitment statements that have to be walked here.

I left off with the last words in my previous blog:

" I commit myself to stop the judgement that exist within me as me as the mind as energy wherein I think and believe that not paying for something is not caring and is abusive, without seeing/realizing and understanding the whole situation. Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to investigate within me this point till I free myself from it and then live as an example to myself to show myself first that I can change in a moment when I stick to my decision and then as I walk the change I become the example to others as myself." 







                                                                                   
                                             
Self-commitment statements continues:


I commit myself to push myself to when I do not have money to do go out and mingle with other people to not challenge my fear, but to face my fear of being embarrassed when I may find myself into a situation where I will have to spent money I do not have, thus within this I make sure to tell whomever I will meet or go out with that I do not have money and that I also do not intent to use his/her money. I am going out to enjoy myself and to move myself out of the confines of my home or my comfort zone where I hide from the reality and judge myself and sabotage myself into submitting myself to the reactions that come up within my mind.

I commit myself to push myself to have contact with the people around me and stop avoiding them, because of my conviction I have made within my mind about how I deal with myself when I do not have money and also how I deal with others when I don't have money. And if there are any reactions within me during the meetings, I make sure to put them in my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life, to clear myself from all these delusional misconceptions and fears, that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in order to not change myself and thus sabotage my own change.


I commit myself to stop and push myself to walk little by little and step by step through the fear that exists within me of what people may think and believe about me of the fact of me not having sufficient money to actually live a dignified life with, into my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to change myself into a human being that take care of it's finances properly and also make sure that when all is in place and stable to support with that finance those whom work to bring about that which is best for all life into this world, this reality.


I commit myself to stop the judgement of governmental institutions actually being a point of hiding my fear of not having to be exposed by those whom are in my immediate circle and thus not accepting the help that can come from them and instead accept more easily the help of the outward bigger system where people I don't know are working, so it can be more easily  justifiable to myself, within and as my mind. Thus within this I implore myself to invesitgate this point through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitments to life to find it within me a point where I become more humble with myself in relation to my survival.


I commit myself to when I see myself going into or I am about to go into an energetic experience of emotion as sadness to immediately  remind myself to stop myself in focusing on my breathing and when I see that the point keep on coming up I make sure that I put it into my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, in order to solve this problem of experiencing sadness that I have accepted and allowed to be part of me within  and as my mind consciousness system.


I commit myself to stop the idea and concept that exists within me that "life is hard," because I see/realize and understand that I am interpreting my surival that I have accepted and allowed to be hard as if that is life, when I am aware that it is not so, but yet still will let this concept and idea rule over my awareness of what I can see in common sense here in a moment. Thus by pushing myself to stop this idea and concept of life being hard through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, I am actually moving myself to change myself to be that  which I see within myself that I have participated within and as the world system, wherein survival is a challenge especially when one does not have money, and bring forth the necessary adjustments to my life in order to be effective in my personal life as in the greater system outside myself and be a point of change where survival eventually will be not a hardship, and just practical actions that have to be taken to meet the need of the physical human body in harmony with all other physical expressions of life that are here.

I commit myself to stop first the reactions I have accepted and allowed within and as myself  about being stressed in my mind first about not having enough money to survive with that eventually will manifest as a physical stress in the body, and work out the points that are related to this problem through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life in order to release myself from the stress in my mind and then also the stress that manifest in my body, and to remind myself to have patience with myself that it is a process and not a miracle pill.


I commit myself to instead of my reaction about not having money getting the best of me and directing me, I decide to make sure I direct me, in order to from that application push  myself to direct the way I manage and use and spent my money.

I commit myself to push myself to little by little and step by step to stop myself feeling ashamed of not having money and be in the presence of people that do have money, because I created within me a belief/idea/concept that not having money is something to be ashamed of and embarrassed about, within this sabotaging myself to stay within this mind concept and idea and thus never actually stepping out of it in real practical living, thus within this I commit myself to face myself as this fear I have created within myself to protect my own fear of being ashamed and embarrased for not having money and being around people that do.


I commit myself to not only question the monetary system when I do not have money, but to question all aspect of it all the time, whether I have money or don't have money and  look for solutions that can be implemented to best support what is best for all life here on earth.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into or about to go into fantasizing about winning a great money prize when I don't have money, to stop myself in breath in that moment and keep doing so till this stops and if it does not stop it means that there are more points related to this practicular point that I have missed within my self-forgiveness statements and thus can then write myself to freedom out of this contstruct I have accepted and allowed to be part of me as me.


I commit myself to pay very good attention to prices when I do have money, and push myself to really buy stuff I really do need and not just spent money like crazy without any self-responsibility, and make sure that I use my money constructively so that I can support myself better within the system and also support solutions that are supportive of life on earth, that will be best for all life.

I commit myself to stop the interpretation of days feeling longer when I do not have money to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, because I can actually let myself get influenced by the experience of the interpretation and just do not move myself into the physical to come with practical applications that will be best for myself and also best for all life.


I commit myself to when I don't have money to not abuse my body by trying to save a little money and eat not healthy, and make sure that when I do have money to manage it accordingly that it will meet my survival needs, and thus in that way not abuse my body. Thus I make sure I take good care of my body.


I commit myself to stop interpreting coming into contact with people that also have little money as something magical that in the moments I don't have money that I bump into them and we talk about our experiences of living without money, so I have a crossreference of not being alone in the situation of not having enough money. And make sure that I work out the feeling of belonging to these people with similar problems as me so I don't have to look for ways to change myself and the situation and also mingle within groups that have no actual solution but only have points of blame to/towards the system at large. By changing at how I look at these people I can use their experiences to transform into looking for solutions that will be best for all practically.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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