Here is where I left off in previous post:
" I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to not take good care of my human physical body, because I then try to avoid spending money on food and stuff like that or avoid spending money on things that may make things worst in the very near future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I don't have money to belief that I am bumping into people that also don't have money or have little money, without seeing/realizing and understanding that most people are now in financial difficulty, but yet I made of the situation a point of finding a way to justify me not having money and finding a way of avoiding myself feeling alone all by myself having similar problems as the others as myself, thus by sharing our problems with each other I feel a sense of belonging to the group and I am not so alone within the problem of not having money or having not enough money."
I commit myself to not only see money as not the real wealth but also to be clear about money being just a representation of the real wealth in this world and to commit myself to use to do what is necessary within my own survival and also to support with it those whom are doing their best to bring forth into this world and existence, that which is best for all life.
I commit myself to question money and the money system and do what is necessary to be done in order to udnerstand this very important point that has become a major point in influencing how I and the rest of everything that is here live, thus I have to take my self-responsibility to/towards money and the monetairy system, because I am a participant within it and supporter of it as it exist within this world right now, thus by changing who and how I am within and as it I then see more of what I can do in order to come up with practical solutions that will be best for all thus best for me too.
I commit myself to now that I have seen within myself that in situation where I have to take care of myself for my survival I have to make the decision and live it to remember to save some money for the rainy days, because it is a practical point within my own survival and especially when my financial situation is not stable yet, thus taking the example of my mother and grandmother I have seen in the past, because it is practical when dealing with my personal survival.
I commit myself to see value in money in the sense of what I can practically do with it for my own survival and also how to use that to support bringing about in the world system what is best for all, and come up with practical solutions that will be as fun as spending it in selfish manner.
I commit myself to not use any idea about money as in how I interpret gender in relation to using money, being part of my life, because it is unnecessary and just make sure I commit myself to use money as a point of support for myself and others as myself in the system that will be best for all.
I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to make sure I stop being generous when I have money, and instead be practical and use money in the form that is best for me and for all in a very constructive way that suits not only me but all.
I commit myself to make sure that I start seeing contribution of money not to the economy just for the sake of believing it to be so, but instead redefining contribution of money and that the spending becomes support of life and not a spending on products that does not support life or my real needs.
I commit myself to from now on, really have a look at prices and only buy things I really really need and to not spent money on things that are unnecessary and to also treat myself something small once in a while, but to not spent money like crazy without being constructive about whaat to spent it on.
I commit myself to stop all charity foundation because I can see they are not what would be best for all, they are just here to support the inequality that exists within this world, and do not support life and are not a system that will bring that which best for all of life. So I commit myself to support the EqualLifeFoundation instead of a charity foundation that is not busy with coming up with solutions that permenantly stop and eradicate all the problems we have created within this world, this existence.
I commit myself to stop giving treats to people in the form of buying drinks or whatever for them, and then when they are with more people feel guilty of not treating the rest and then force myself to treat them to, because I see/realize and understand that I am compromising my own survival to do unnecessary spending wuth my money, just to have a feeling of me being a good person and that is not a cheap person. Thus within this I also commit myself to writing this point fully out till I am clear about all the reactions that are related to this point if they will come up in do time, and to remind myself to stand firm within my convication and my commitment to not fall pray for my own limitations and sabotaged my own survival.
I commit myself to stop spending money on foods I don't really need, jsut because I like to enjoy "good tasting foods," and in so doing when I have money I spent money on that. Thus I make sure that I remind myself when these moments present themselves to remember to not go into them and remind myself to focus on my breathing and continuing doing so till I am clear within myself and then out of that clearness I move and direct myself to make the decision to do in that moment what would be best for me and best for all.
I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to stop myself letting myself be influenced by money when it also comes to communication, wherein I communicate more freely when I have money then when I don't have money. Thus within this I commit myself to direct myself to communicate freely without having to be influenced by money.
I commit myself to look at my finances and use my money that I get constructively and make sure that whatever it is that I always wanted to buy, if it is not really necessary, to not buy it and instead direct myself to use my money and invest into something that will support life, like the equallifefoundation.
I commit myself to whenever I see myself going into or I am about to go into treating other people when I am aware I don't have to, I just make a decision and do not do so in the moment and just choose not to treat at all, and remove myself from the situation and stay firm within my decision and breathe, and if any discomfort arises within me, I just continue breathing till I am clear and then from there proceed to act in the moment and direct myself to just move here without having to feel obligated to treat no-one, or guilty for not treating people using my money.
I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to introspect and investigate within myself the guilt I experience when someone else insist to pay for me, and just stop myself in that moment in breath and keep on breathing till I am clear and from there I can proceed by either say yes or no, without having to react within myself about the situation.
I commit myself to stop the ideas/believes/opinions that exist within me about other people treating me, because I believe that they believe I am less fortunate then them, thus I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life to investigate these believes/ideas and opinions till I work them all out one by one step by step, so in the moments where the same situation present itself I can direct myself in making a pratical common sense decision that would be best for me and also best for the one that wants to treat me.
I commit myself to stop the judgement that exist within me as me as the mind as energy wherein I think and believe that not paying for something is not caring and is abusive, without seeing/realizing and understanding the whole situation. Thus within this I commit myself to through my writing of self-forgiveness and my commitment to life, to investigate within me this point till I free myself from it and then live as an example to myself to show myself first that I can change in a moment when I stick to my decision and then as I walk the change I become the example to others as myself.
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