Day 337, What happens when I am not moving, and I am stuck. Part 2

So within this post I will start with the deconstruction of what I rote in the previous blog.

Here is a link to that blog:

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/12/day-336-what-happens-when-i-am-not.html




                                                               

Let me have a look at the specific points that came up throughout the writing from the previous blog: 


*** Finding a good enough excuse to avoid doing what I am aware I must do.

*** Energetic movement within my solar plexus, specifically a positive charged one.

*** Giving myself an impression of wanting to sleep the in order to not to move myself.

*** An urge to watch a movie with the intention to use the information within the movie as                 something that can be significant and supportive to/towards my process and also supportive to/towards others as myself

*** Eventually ending up not taking notes about specific points I would like to give perspective of.

*** Using the dot connections as to make myself feel good about myself because I can see matching dots related to each other and made something out of it that make sense about the connection itself.

*** Seeing scrapbook scenario within my mind consciousness system.

*** Using watching movie as a way to divert myself in order for me to not have to work on myself.

*** Saying that I worked on my mind versus actually working on it in fact.

*** Letting myself be mesmerize about the picture presentation in the movie and the specific music related to it.

***  Getting distracted by the technology that might be used to make the effects with lights and morphing and breaking down of symbols.

*** Coupling movie scenes with other past movie scenes.

*** Coupling movie scenes with what someone said in the past that I have placed in my memory bank.

*** Creating ideas about how I could use picture presentation to tell a story of how the mind itself works using my own mind as an example.

*** Immediately backing off of the whole bringing the idea into manifestation, because I judge it through my mind to be a huge undertaking.

*** Images of past recollections of relations between me and some people either known or unknown individuals.


Self-forgiveness statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find a good enough excuse according to my mind consciousness system to make sure I do not move myself in applying myself, working on myself to change myself into a human being that does what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself generate within my solar plexus an energetic charge that I have come to name positive energy, to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to due to experiencing a positive energetic charge within my solar plexus and my believe in relation to it being something "good" I let myself get carried away in engaging within this energetic charge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that just because something is experienced as positive, it must be good, because that is the base function and programming of my mind consciousness system, to interpret and perceiving a positive energetic charge as something that is good, but that this good is just a idea about the charge itself, an opinion, a believe, thus within this loosing myself into believes about believes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately give myself the impression that I want to sleep or need to sleep in order to wake up later on, and get on with the process,but that I just trick myself into doing this, because in reality I am trying to through sleeping giving myself less time, and when I wake up I will be having less time to spent on myself and thus my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to use sleep as a scapegoat in order for me to not have to move myself, direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just  tell myself that I am going to watch a movie in order to so called use the common sense perspectives in the movie to apply it in my process and also to use the information I have gathered to support others as myself, when in reality this whole wanting to watch a movie with the intention to use it for process purposes is in reality to divert myself from myself in order for me to not have to direct myself and do what I am aware I must do to change myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become into that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after I have convinced myself that I am going to use the whole watching of the movie constructively, I end up not taking any notes whatsoever, proving to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am in physical practical manner just watching a movie with the real intention behind the whole idea to just avoid working on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to uplift myself as seeing myself as something special, because I can connect matching dots related to each other in my mind, telling myself that I cam do something great with it, but yet again just for me to wonder away in my fantasies and the actual points that I do see I do not use it to support myself in changing myself nor to share my findings with others that the fruits of it can be supportive in some way to contribute to what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see within my mind consciousness system scrapbook scenarios where I can connect pictures and images accompanied with sound and music and see a story behind it that makes sense, and because of this making myself believe that I can do something with it, just to feel good about myself and proud, but yet not actually using this ability to actually do something constructively that will contribute to what is best for all life, thus within this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to turn a point within myself that is actually diverting me into not doing what I must do, into eventually what I must do anyways, because I am aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it, thus I understand what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lots of times say to myself and others as myself that I am going to work on my mind, but eventually I will caught myself not doing what I said, and thus in this deceiving myself and thus not moving myself, directing myself. Thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately deceive and con myself into not doing what I said I will do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get mesmerized about the picture presentation in movies, because this suits my self-interest as the positive energetic charge wherein I see myself on higher grounds and something that is of value within my own little world of my head, meanwhile not seeing/realizing and understanding that I can turn this whole thing around that I am using against myself to actually work for myself and at the same time be a support for others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be affected by what I tell myself is amazing about the technology used in making certain picture presentation in movies, that I don't really know nothing of, just to dream myself away within my mind wasting time wondering about what the technology will be, instead of actually turning this whole thing around and make something constructive with it, where I will deliberately go and find out what technology is actually involved in making such effects.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put in high regard the ability I have to connect certain movies scenes with other movie scenes in a complete other movie and see a connection that make sense in the greater scheme of things on a mental level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mental level as the most important aspect of myself and disregard the rest that my human physical body is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to couple movie scenes with what people have said in the past that I have stored in my memory bank with each other, to try and make some sense out of it or try to give it a meaning, without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am in that moment deliberately trying to give meaning to something someone said that I did not understand and instead of looking for an understanding of why I hold that specific memory intact I only look at how I can connect the relationship the movie scene is having with uprising of the memory.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself believe only, that I can make picture presentation to support myself and others as myself about how the mind works using my own mind as an example without seeing/realizing and understanding that I am in fact not doing this, I am just using the idea in my mind to make myself feel as if I am doing something when in reality I am just entertaining my own idea in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the same breath as I am having the idea of bringing a picture presentation about how the mind works as I see it through my mind in order to expose how the mind works using my own as an example, I also get the thought following up that see it as a huge undertaking and built on that thought till I diminish myself completely in my own mind just to make sure I do not pursuit after the idea and manifest it, thus screwing my mind consciousness intention in the first place of keeping me locked within focusing on what is going on within it and following it and not working on it. Thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bringing into manifestation my own ideas and therefore construct within my mind consciousness system a decoy mechanism to make sure I never actually/practically/factually DO go and manifest the idea into physical practical creation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shoot of images of past recollections of interactions between I and other individuals, known or unknown related to some specific movie scene I will be watching in a particular moment and seeing this as something great and leave it to that but not actually doing something constructively with it and find out why I am having these memories with these people by watching these specific movies scenes as to understand myself better and in so doing.



Thanks,


Larry Manuela

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