Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Day 338, what happens when I am not moving and I am stuck part 3

Now I am continuing with the deconstruction of what I wrote in the previous post.
In the previous post I wrote the self-forgiveness statements in relation to the more earlier post I have written in regards to what I am going through in relationships  to my process of birthing myself through the the physical here.


                                                               


I am placing the link to the previous blogs here:


http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/12/day-337-what-happens-when-i-am-not.html



http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/12/day-336-what-happens-when-i-am-not.html


Now within this post I will be going through fishing out the points I have realized within myself and place self-commitment statements for myself to live.

Self-commitment statements:

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into finding and looking within myself a good enough excuse for me to not have to move myself here in the physical, I stop-----------take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am looking to find a good enough excuse in order to keep myself in a state of not having to move myself here in the physical, thus compromising myself for moving myself.

Thus within this I commit myself to remind myself to stay focus on my own movements within my mind wherein I am trying to compromise myself and turn that into a practical point to apply, for example to first stay within and as my breath here and to help myself ground myself I look for anything that requires a physical task, in order for me to help myself stay here within and as my breath and within and as my human physical body.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into generating energy within my solar plexus, that I experience as a positive energy, I stop--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as em as the mind as energy.

I realize that I utilize this experience of the energy built up within my solar plexus as a means to escape the responsibility to/towards myself and others as myself here within and as the physical, and seeing and interpreting this as something "good."

Thus within this I commit myself to let go of this experience when it comes up through participating instead in focusing on my breathing and grounding myself here within it and to help myself grounding myself more and more by applying myself in actually/in fact doing something that requires a physical action of my part in order to help myself stay focus and remain here.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into interpreting the energy I experience as something good, I stop---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am letting myself get lost into believes about believes within myself, because I can see that my interpretation of the energy of being something good just because I experience it as positive are both just ideas and opinions about the experience of the energy itself.


Therefore, I commit myself to little by little get rid of all the believes/interpretations/opinions and ideas about myself  through the tools of self-forgiveness done in self-honesty and finding out what and whom I have become of them and then stopping myself as them and creating myself as a human being that lives only that which is best for all life in all ways always practically here.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into taking a nap/sleep a little bit, I stop------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am giving myself an impression of wanting to sleep just in order to have  less time to work on myself deliberately, so I don't have to change myself, move myself or direct myself into changing myself.

Thus within this I commit myself to make sure to stay focus in the moments when I am telling myself and allowing myself to go to sleep and ground myself within and as my breath, following it and within this, making sure my hands are doing something, touching something whatever it would be in order to remind myself to stay here physically breathing and just being here within and as my breath and within and as my human physical body.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into watching movie, I stop----- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using the excuse of wanting to watch a movie for purposes of using the gathered information to support myself within my process and also others as myself by looking at the common sense perspectives within a movie, but in reality I am just using the movies as a way to not to have to apply myself within and as my process of changing myself.

Thus within this I commit myself to really actually use the gathered information within movies to support myself within and as my process and also to support others as myself and just remember to take notes to use these for my blog or vlog.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into seeing myself as something or someone special because I can connect dots with each other related to movies in the past and also to clarify for myself some points in reality that are connected to the movie or the story within the movie, I stop----- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am using one of my talents to divert myself into feeling good about myself and feeling special about myself within my mind and in so doing not change myself, because I experience all of this as something that is positive for myself, but yet not practical and which will result into that which will be best for myself as one as all as equal as life here.

Thus within this I commit myself to stay focus on myself within and as my breath and make sure I use the talents or this specific talent to support myself and others as myself by using the information constructively and practically so common sense can be gain more and more within and as myself and also as others as myself.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into making scrapbook scenario's within my mind consciousness system to connect pictures and images accompanied with sounds and music in order to deceive myself into believing that I can do something with this ability to do this within my mind consciousness system, I stop........take a deep breath and bring myself back here, grounding myself within and as my breath.

Therefore, I commit myself to use this scrapping of pictures/images accompanied with sounds and music to instead support myself to get to know myself better and use it to support myself within and as my process of birthing myself within and as the physical, bringing more common sense within and as myself.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into deceiving myself or conning myself into not doing what I said I will do either to/towards myself or to/towards others as myself, I stop------ take a deep breath and ground myself here within and as my breath and within and as my human physical body.

Therefore, I commit myself to actually really spent time on myself, working on myself, my mind consciousness system, looking at the points that I am having difficulty changing about myself and make sure to stick to a practical plan to apply myself that is comfortable and doable within my time-frame.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into dreaming myself away about technological  within my mind consciousness system, I stop--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize I make myself get carried away by the technology that is being used in movies to make the movie look great and fantasize about wanting to know how they do it, but don't really actually go and have a look at how they do it, to understand it and use it in order to show using picture animation how my mind works and support myself and others as myself with this.

Therefore within this I commit myself to slowly but surely to find all the information that are available to start looking for ways to apply myself using the technology even if it means on a minor scale to show people how my mind works and thus support myself and also others as myself.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into seeing my mental level as more important than the rest of my human physical body, I stop-------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and calm and grounded within and as myself, within and as my physical breath and my human physical body here.

I realize that I am finding my mental level more important than my human physical body, because it is the part of me where I am mostly within and as and also all I know about myself, thus giving it more value within my own mind than the rest of my human physical body.

Therefore within this, I commit myself to little by little to make sure I pay attention and value to all of what my body is, what it consist of and exist as here, till I am totally physically here aware of whom I am as the body as the real being of earth.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into looking within and as my memory bank to some specific memories as if I am connecting relationships within my mind with movie scenes and also with what some people have said in the past, I stop take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am trying to give meaning to the connections I see within my mind about the pictures and images and memories of what some people have said to me in the past, but yet I am not asking myself the why I am having these specific memories in relation to the movie scenes and what people said to me, as in why they are related, why I made them relate within my mind consciousness system and and most importantly why it is that specific movie scene that brought up that memory, as in what is that specific movie scene telling me about myself that I have found so valuable that I have placed it as a memory within myself for later to be used.

Therefore, I commit myself to next time I look at movie scenes and have memories coming up, I make sure to question the memories in the moment and take notes about what they will help me realize about myself in order to use this information to know more about myself and to thus work out the points I will be encountering within my memory bank.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into putting down my own idea of what I want to do with a picture or movie presentation by telling myself and convincing myself that it will be a huge undertaking, I stop--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am putting myself down and telling myself that it will take a huge undertaking to do such task, just because I do not want to go into actually applying myself to learn how to do so and by this finding out more about how my own mind works.

Thus within this, I commit myself to little by little start gathering information about how to do such movie presentations, till I am satisfied with the result after I have tested them out and then start with my creation process where I little by little start to put into motion picture what I have as idea within my mind for myself to see and to support myself and also for a support to others as myself.




Self- Reward:

Thus within this post I have come to see/realize and understand that I am mostly still postponing and deceiving myself in order for me to not have to move and apply myself, thus change myself in fact. Now that I am aware and I have seen in my own words what I am busy doing I have also place some commitment that I will be using to actually really get myself back moving, directing myself.



Thanks,


Larry Manuela


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