Saturday, 3 January 2015

Day 341, A dream about an occurence with a woman I am attracted to. Part 2

Now continuing with the deconstruction of my first blog about this point. For more insights, do have a look at the link I am placing here.

http://larry7yearwalk.blogspot.com/2014/12/day-340-dream-about-occurence-with.html


Now I am continuing with the self-commitment statements:


                       




Self-Commitment statement:

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into desiring her, I stop--------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here, ground myself within and as my physical breathing till I clear and stable within and as myself.

I realize I am desiring her, because of interpreting my attraction to her into giving the sexual attraction more impetus, thus leaving out the other attractions as being comfortable with her and around her and stable and also being able to move more freely as and within myself with her.

Therefore, I commit myself to explore myself better and learn from what I gathered when being around her, because within this I can see that I experience a grounding, a stability, a comfortability that I did not experience with others before that is practical, physical, thus making sure to go deeper into exploring within myself to use this opportunity to learn about myself more and thus getting to know myself as I am getting to know her.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into creating an energetic positive experience within myself, I stop---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am creating this positive energetic experience within myself but in separation with the actual experience itself thus not getting into the depth of the experience as the positive energy experience itself, and within this not being able to direct myself within and as this energy and allow myself to be carried away.

Thus within this I commit myself to really direct myself within my positive energy experience and make sure to give it back to my body and use that in a way that is practical to/towards myself and to/towards her.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into wanting and feeling energetically that I want to kiss her, I stop-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that my want to kiss her is about me fantasizing about it within my mind and thus generating energy within my mind.

Thus within this, I commit myself to let go of this generation of energy within myself but first also letting go of the fantasizing about kissing her that is making me generate energy within myself. Thus when this happen I make sure to immediately to step out of it by reminding myself to breathe first grounding myself and than to change myself in the moment itself by staying here, in the touch of my breath and the touch of my hands.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into wanting and sexually desiring her, I stop------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am confusing the comfortability and stability when being with her or in her presence and give it a sexual desire, so I can start accumulating and building energy within my mind using the attraction of being in her presence and really getting to know her.

Thus therefore, I commit myself to when I am with her to only make sure I focus on the stability and comfort I am experiencing and learn about that, because it is something that I need to learn to be, make part of my expression as myself in this world.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into being impatience about myself waiting and projected on her as if I have to wait for her, I stop------ take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am projecting waiting on her as if I am the one that have to wait for her, but in reality it is me fighting against my own impatience, thus that I am the one that have to learn to live patience.

Thus within this, I commit myself to direct  myself using the tools of self-forgiveness and self-commitment  done in self-honesty to become someone that lives patience and just be here doing what I must do to bring about that which is best for all, whatever will happen will happen, because she can also find someone else and decide to choose to be sharing her life with this someone else.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into wanting to protect the woman I am with or want to be with, I stop-------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am here and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I am relying and applying within myself an old relationship pattern wherein men believe that they are made to protect the woman, because the woman is weak somehow and they are strong, thus within this wanted to express this old construct within and as a relationship to feel better about myself.

Therefore, I commit myself to use the tools I have at my disposal as self-forgiveness and self-correction done in self-honesty to release free myself from this old pattern and construct about relationships between a man and a woman.


When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into giving a woman more value because of me being able to protect her, I stop---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that within this I have allowed myself to programmed myself into believing that a woman have more value if I am able to protect her, as if she is a prize I have won, thus this prize is to be admired and honored, but purely from the perspective that I won the prize as her.


Thus within this, I commit myself to release myself from this program that I have programmed myself to be and become utilizing the tools of self-forgiveness and self-correction done in self-honesty to stop and change within myself to not see the woman as a prize that I won, thus the woman as the prize itself is not of value, but my winning of her as the prize anymore, but to see and live with her as an equal expression of life here having the same value as I have to express myself as life here.

When and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into feeling sorry for her because of interpreting that she cannot defend herself with words when others are attacking her with knowledge and information that she does not have clear understanding of yet, I stop---------- take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that I feel sorry for because I feel sorry for myself to when I am in similar situation or have been in similar situation and thus remembering myself going through that I project this onto her.

Therefore within this I commit myself focus resolving and releasing myself from this construct within and as myself of feeling sorry about myself and thus when there is a similar situation outside myself I generate the same emotion again within myself, thus making sure to forgive myself in that moment and stay focus on my breathing, grounding myself touching myself by holding my two hands together to remind myself to stay here when I am busy grounding myself and releasing myself from this emotional pattern.



Thanks,


Larry Manuela



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