Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Day 351, Why do I allow limitation Part 3

Here, continuing with the previous blog,


click here to go the previous blog if one wants to read it.


                                                               




I realize that I can loose myself trying to proof a point when in discussion with people without seeing/realizing/understanding that not everyone is on the same level of understanding as I might be, and that even if they were it is about what will be best for all life and not me wanting to proof a point to get others to agree with me.

Thus within this I commit myself to, when and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into wanting to proof a point in order to get others to agree with me, I take a deep breath first bring myself back here, stabalise myself, till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy and from this point I make sure that I than communicate with another purely based on the starting point of what would be best for life.


I realize that I am just using the realization on points even when they have starting point which will be best for all, I only stick to that, I do not push myself to actually in fact live what I have seen, and am aware what is within me that needs actual real physical change.

Thus within this, I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into NOT moving myself to actually change myself and just stick to the starting point alone that I saw had a outcome that could be best for all if lived, I take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and make sure that I start applying myself to actually, in fact do what I am aware I must do physically to make sure the necessary outcome that I saw is manifested and lived by myself.

I realize that I fear being not included in group conversations or included at all, because of myself judging myself that I am not a someone to be approached in a conversation because what I have to say is being perceived as negative.

Thus within this I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into the fear of thinking and believing that I might be excluded from conversation because I will be seen as someone negative, I stop take a deep breath and bring myself back here, till I am clear and stable and from out of this stability I speak and communicate and I only do so when I am sure that whatever I will say is in the service of LIFE, in the support of life as my starting point and within this take a stand and also to remind myself that I do not HAVE TO speak all the time, that sometimes being quiet is also a way of say something without using words.

I realize that I fear being alone from the perspective of not having anyone to have a communication with, because it will imply to me that I will be and have to deal all by myself with my stuff, thus in actuality fearing having to face myself, or deal with myself all alone.

Thus within this I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into fearing myself to be on my own, I stop take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and when I stable and clear I have an honest look within myself and investigate within myself where I created this fear of being on my own and having to on my own to work myself out as if I am afraid of what I might find and don't really want to go through all that, thus within this I commit myself to investigate this point that have opened up within me more.

I realize that I fear going through physical pain.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into fearing to go through physical pain, I stop take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and when I am clear and stable I remind myself that the fearing the physical pain is not necessary, because if something happens to me that is physical and it is something that will physically hurt I cannot stop the pain, I just have to go through it, however "fearing the pain," is not what is going to stop the pain in the moment or just a few seconds before the moment.


I realize that I am thinking and believing that a negative person is someone to be feared and thus what happens is that when I judge someone to be negative I automatically go into fearing them on some level even though it is subtle and I than go into an act of preparing myself to defend myself against this individual, but if someone would to point it out to me, I would deny it, I even deny it within myself looking at it.

Thus within this I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into or I am about to go into trying or doing my best to defend myself because of already being in a subtle state of fear within myself about someone else and denying it when it is seen by others or myself for that matter, I just stop take a deep breath and bring myself back here till I am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy, and when I am sure I am stable and clear I than just accept the fearing within me, embrace it but not let it influence me and when I have embraced it within me and stand as the fear within me, I release the fear as to remind and show to myself that just like I created it to exist within me, I can uncreate it to not have to exist within me as me, and than out of this when it is not here anymore I can communicate with the person in front of me without fearing him/her.




Thanks.


Larry Manuela


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