Saturday, 15 June 2013

Day 246, Positive Findings/Remarks/Feelings regarding attractiveness for a woman/women. Part- 4

Continuing with the next Dimension.


The next Dimension is going to be the Backchat-Dimension.



For a little bit of context, here is a little of the previous post:



Self-Reward:



Within this post i have seen/realized/understood through my own writing that i am using imagination to trigger energies, within and as my mind in order for me to get my energetic highs as feelings and emotions, and thus keeping myself in this matter away from actually/factually/practically Expressing ME, as the Human Physical Body/Form, thus NOT living as the body but as a personality in a mind.





Problem:



Backchat-Dimension:





                                                    Art done by: Andrew Gable




***  if i could only get that point of passion again with her

***  lord have mercy, look at how beautiful she looks and she doesn't even know it

***  why not just have sex and then we deal with the practice of what come up when we are done?

***   i can still remember touching her skin, it felt so nice

***  why is her skin-color still having impact on me?

***  damn, her voice is making me crazy, so soft!





Solution:







Self-forgiveness statements:



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' if only could get that point of passion again with her,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to have  this backchat: '' if i only could get that point of passion again with her,'' to exist within me, because i am looking at satisfying my own sexual desire based on energy, as a form of fulfillment that i just have got to have.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link, the backchat: '' if only could get that point of passion again with her,'' to fill in a point of fulfillment within myself as implying to myself that i am somehow empty if i do NOT get to experience this passion as in the act of having sex with her, thus projecting my desire onto her as if she is the one i need in order to get this passion, NOT seeing/realizing/understanding that this passion as i have define it within me is nothing but experiencing energy in the mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define emptiness in relation to NOT getting an energy kick as in passionate sex.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize/understand that there is a huge difference between passion related to energy and passion related to actual real expression as the body itself right HERE.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' lord have mercy, look at how beautiful she looks and she doesn't even know it,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy as i based this ''looking beautiful'' as a trigger-point within myself in order to engage into energetic built-ups.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to link the backchat: '' lord have mercy, look at how beautiful she looks and she doesn't even know it,'' to  a trigger-point within me as to create feelings of desires to/towards her to fulfill my own self-interest.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' why not just have sex and then we deal with the practice of what come up when we are done?,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, which is a way of looking to satisfy my own self-interest in the form of experiencing sex with her pure for the sake of getting energy out of it for my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want/wish/desire more energy-sex instead of pushing myself to learn expressing myself within/as SEX as the totality of the whom i am as the human physical body/form.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' i can still remember touching her skin, it felt so fine,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use this specific backchat: '' i can still remember touching her skin, it felt so nice,'' because it allow me to participate in memories that can induce certain/specific feelings as to drive me to eventually make the move to when their is an opportunity to feel her skin as in touching it, i can than be satisfied within and as my mind as i interpret this within/as my mind as a winning-point, an energetic boost just to keep the energy existent within and as my mind.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat as a question to myself as: '' why is her skin-color still having impact on me,'' to exist within me as me as i see that by emphasizing the words: '' skin- color,'' i am feeding the feelings and emotions and memories that are pertaining to it, so i can keep all of that alive and well within and as my mind as energy as the whom i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within and as this world, wherein a simple thing like a skin-color can make me react in feelings and emotions based on some set of values i have given to it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to color-in what i see as in her skin-color in my mind, instead of just looking at the skin-color as i see it with my human physical eyes and that is it, without any energy racing within and as me as what i think/belief about the skin-color.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat: '' damn, her voice is making me crazy, so soft!,'' to exist within me as me as the mind as energy.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give a positive value to the softness sounding of her voice to utilize this to charge certain/specific memories and feelings within me all of which are related to SEX, as i have valued SEX as a means to get me lots of energy, especially when i reach an orgasm.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a value-system within myself in relation to a woman's softness of voice to be a VERY important point for me to extract/suck more Substance from/of my body to transform it into energy for my mind as the Feelings i then experience as the reward of my participation in the value-system of my own creation within and as myself.




Self-Commitments statements:



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into back-chatting about passion in my mind, I STOP-------------- take a deep or many deep breaths till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am using the word ''passion'' as a means to fulfill some energy experience within and as myself and NOT '' Passion,'' as in me expressing me passionately as the whom i am as my human physical body as one as equal as LIFE, HERE.

Therefore, I commit myself to be attentive in every moment and look within me for certain energetic feelings that trigger some backchat that on their turn trigger a longing and a want, a desire to fulfill the crutch so to speak. And thus to investigate the point through the writing of self-forgiveness and corrective statements to STOP and eventually learn to walk as ME as the body as the Real being of earth, Expressing itself as a manifested Life-Form.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into, having a backchat with ''beauty'' in it to create energies within me, i immediately STOP,------------- take a deep breath and ground myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize i am using my own interpretation as what i have defined as ''beauty'' within me to trigger some memories and feelings in order for me to experience energy within and as myself through/as my mind.

Therefore, I commit myself to investigate and work out these point when they appear within me as in writing them out in order for me to see what it is i am accepting and allowing and thus change myself to NOT participate in such energy and to just be HERE.



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into participating in backchat in relation to wanting to have sex with her, I immediately STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, and make sure i continue focusing on my breathing till nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i am looking for ways to have sex with her, just to satisfy my own selfish desire to go through the experience of sex and to engulf into energies that are prevalent to come up during sex and especially when having an orgasm.

Thus, therefore I commit myself to NOT give in, into this backchat neither into what makes me react because of this and to NOT give them attention and instead place my attention on my breathing and invent anything that physical to do, in order to be just HERE physically and not lost in my mind, and if there are points that come up, that i see within myself that i haven't investigated yet, i then make sure that i write them out in the form of Self-forgiveness and Corrective-Statements to attend and workout the point in order for me to be/become my own directive principle instead of my feelings/emotions/memories doing that for me, which have proven to me are NOT doing things that are BEST for me and all of LIFE, only what is BEST for Self-interest as the personalities i have accepted and allowed myself to be/become in this world.


When and as i see myself going into any backchat related to skin-color, I immediately STOP myself in participating in them, and make sure i take a long deep breath till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize i am using backchat that have to do with her skin-color just to generate some feelings within me.


Therefore i commit myself to make sure i do NOT participate in these backchat when they do come up again, as i already did self-forgiveness on them thus i know they will come again as to see if i will give-in into them, thus i will let myself get distracted of my being HERE as my human physical body and my breathing, and if this continues for too long and doesn't STOP, than i know that i have missed some points, that i have NOT gone deep enough investigating and out-rooting the cause of them existing within me as me. Thus i will take on writing them out through Self-forgiveness till i am satisfied with myself that i have reach a point of depth where there is nothing within me anymore about this particular point.


When and as i see myself going into getting myself all worked out because of what i perceive her voice is ''doing'' to me, I STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.


I realize that i have placed many emphasis on the sounds of voice of women in and hers in particular as something i need in order to make me feel certain/specific way in me as a '' good feeling.''


Thus within this, I commit myself to little by little to workout all this delusional belief that i have placed within me as a value system to energize myself positively. Thus i write myself out in Self-honesty and make sure to place commitment statements that are doable for me to practically engage into, so i can walk the point more effectively.




Self-Reward:


Within this post i have seen/realized/understood that i have placed certain words to have certain and specific values for me, just in order for me to USE them to get myself energized and participating in the mind and NOT be HERE as my Human Physical Body/Form as i Breathe Right HERE. Thus my reward is that i am now aware of what i do and how i do it, so i can do something about it, that will eventually have an outcome that will be BEST for me and BEST for all.






Thanks.



Larry Manuela





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