Sunday, 10 November 2013

Day 265, Why does the Concrete Jungle seem Isolated?


                                                                   





I have noticed within myself that when i am walking in the city, any city small or big and there are not many people in the city i experience this as lifeless and a form of isolation when i walk in the city.
So i started investigating this point within and as myself. And of course i started questioning it whithin and as myself as to understand, WHY it is i am experiencing it like that.
Then i noticed a peculiar thing; that most of the things we humans take from the earth to create something else with it, have no real movement as in the movement of LIFE. What do i mean with this; That it doesn't move like nature does.

For example when i take a walk in nature, even when there is NOT one individual human being there, still i do NOT experience this lifelessness or isolation within and as myself. Because every individual part of nature in that particular place/area and moment are all moving, even the trees. The breese of the wind that moves the branches and leafs of the tree, there is this presence of LIFE happening/Growth/expansion, even though it is NOT seen with my human eyes yet, the little movements that are not visible to my human eyes.


                                                           

In the concrete jungle there is another thing happening, there is decay, the buildings going empty, closing down, lots of ENDING in many ways. And when the buildings are done being built, they will stay within that form as they were built and finished for a very long time, till they end. One may say; 'but trees end too!'  Yes they do. But look at this peculiar thing. They don't end because of stagnation or of not growing, of not expanding, they end because they have reached a certain length of time, of growing and expanding and also there are many other consequences related to them as the human factor for example, that put an end to their lives in different ways and manners, that i will call; genocide.

So what i have noticed is; that when we humans create something with the resources of the earth, it will NOT have growth in it, or a way to expand itself naturally. What we touch and create has a tendency to stay stagnant not having LIFE-movement as in growth and expansion. So we take from the earth that which is growing and is expanding, and we create that which is stagnant and standing still/freeze with it. And now i see more clearly why it is that; cities never attracted me, as in going to some country to walk and see what people have created as old buildings and things like that, i never could understand people that will go to a country to watch old buildings. To me it was like a waste of time and money. If i go to another country i will be more interested to see the nature of that country and not its buildings created by men.


Self-Forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the experience of lifelessness and isolation to exist within me as me as the mind as energy, when i walk in a city, be it; small or big and when there is not many people or no people at all because everything is closed or it is in the evening.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand before that what we humans at this moment create using the earth resources will be frozen in time as/in another physical form that does not move or can express itself naturally as it did when it was in the form of the resource where we took it from.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that OUR Human Physical Body/Form is indeed capable of creating another body as itself that can and does move and express itself as another form of LIFE naturally, and WE within and as our minds when we create from the mind CANNOT do this at the moment, from the mind we do NOT create another LIFE, we are at the moment TAKING LIVES through and via the use of the mind and transform it to be less then what it was before, thus creating diminishment and limitation exponentially, down to the point of destruction and annihilation where all that is HERE will be no more.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all that is HERE as LIFE no matter if it is in a form that is in movement as expressive life form or/and in a form that is not in movement as an expressive life form, because i within and as myself is NOT living yet as one as equal as LIFE to see/realize and understand that all that is HERE are expressions of and as LIFE from the biggest to the very smallest, from that which SEEM lifeless to that which is, as we call it; ''alive.''

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that only when there is people around that there is LIFE, that there is a sense of livelihood, because i am in separation of ALL that is HERE as the planet, as everything that the planet consist of and exist as and i am only in a mental reality that exclude everything else, like the 99,99999.......% of the rest of  LIFE that is also HERE within each moment of Breath.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see human beings as one expression of LIFE as more important and have more value then the rest of LIFE that is also HERE together one and equal within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only see nature as an expression of life that is more important and have more value then the rest of LIFE that is HERE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize and understand that by including only one aspect of LIFE is in reality excluding ALL aspects of LIFE from this one aspect, and thus give value to only one aspect of LIFE and deny and completely separate myself from the rest of the aspects of LIFE, so much so, that even my breathing and my human physical body is OUT of the equation as the rest of the aspects of LIFE, which i do NOT include within and as myself within and as my participation in this reality of physical manifested LIFE and delude myself to only focus on the delusion that is within and as my mind consciousness system wherein i separate ME from all that is HERE to only focus what is interpreted and observed through/via this mind as a personality within it that i at the moment have no idea how i created that personality in my mind to interpret and observe reality in my name, a personality that was put together based on memories gathered/accumulated through my life i deemed important and valuable according to what i have accepted and allowed in myself from others that went before me, that in their turn also have done the same, leaving me to then only being aware of a fraction of what is going on within and as  my own mind conciousness system and NOT the totality of it as all that it consist of and exist as, as the mind consciousness system that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as this world, within and as this reality, as this existence.



Self-Commitment Statements:

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into the experience of feeling lifelessness or isolation when i walk in a city that is small or big and there, I immediately STOP------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that based on my mind interpretation and projection i am letting myself experience a ''FEELING'' of lifelessness and isolation, but within this not seeing/realizing nor understanding that a ''FEELING'' of lifelessness and isolation is NOT lifelessness nor isolation itself, and that within this i have absolutely NO understanding within myself as myself as being aware as myself within and as these two words: '' lifelessness and isolation.''

Therefore, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to base my living in the physical reality and directing my physical body according to a feeling that is an interpretation of the words; ''lifelessness and isolation.''

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that i have never LIVED these words and that i do NOT even know of these words can be lived, but yet use them as IF i have lived them or i am living them, thus no actual understanding of these words as a physical/practical living application.

Therefore, I commit myself to make sure i investigate these two words first what is their definition as it exist in this world right now and then see IF they can be lived for real and also to see that these two words are words that in this reality can be lived or not practically, through my writing of Self-forgiveness and my commitment to LIFE.


I commit myself to study the phenomena of these realizations as in the body being capable of creating another body and the mind being able at the moment to only create destruction and annihilation to the physical reality, thus NOT in fact being used to support LIFE, but instead being used to Destroy LIFE or Harm LIFE.



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into separating myself into my mind consciousness system as what i think and belief is having life or no life, I STOP--------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i separate myself from everything that is HERE, through and via my mind consciousness system as what i interpret within it as a fraction even what the mind itself completely consist of and exist as and based on this interpretation i move myself which is NOT a Self-movement.


Therefore, I commit myself to push myself to learn to move within and as my breath and my human physical body and as my whole mind within equal and one awareness as the totality that i am right HERE so i can then direct me as myself within and as my body as the totality of what my body consist of and exist as.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into thinking and believing that only when there is people around, that there is LIFE, or a sense of livelihood, I STOP------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within and as me as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to when this happens again, where i let myself go into thinking and beliefs, to remember in that moment to Breathe, because i know that i am then not one and equal with my breathing thus NOT HERE equal and one with everything that is HERE as LIFE, and make sure that i touch my own hand or do anything else that is physical in order to help myself stick to my breathing and just being HERE.


When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into Giving human being more importance and value then the rest of the expression of LIFE that is exist HERE, I STOP----------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am giving the humans more importance and value because i can relate to them as being of the same design as i am, and therefore holding them in higher regard then the rest of the other designs of LIFE HERE on this planet, including the planet itself too.

Therefore, I commit myself to integrate within me all of the expression of all of LIFE within and as myself within what is to be understood as being important and valuable, so that no expression or fractions/aspects of LIFE are left out and push myself to see this through my writing of Self-forgiveness and my commitments to LIFE, till it becomes the whom i am as the whom i live me in this world, in this reality as equal as one with all that is HERE as my equal as expressions of LIFE.

When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into my mind interpretation of only seeing Nature as more important and more valuable as expression of LIFE, I immediately STOP----------------------- take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that i am giving nature more importance and value to the rest of what is HERE, because i see it as that which is supporting my individual existence as this human body on this planet, and within this excluding everything else, not seeing/realizing and understanding that nature also can only exist because of the support of the whole, it is NOT a separate expression on itself individually depending solely on itself.

Therefore, I commit myself to push myself through my writing of Self-forgiveness and my commitment to LIFE, to little by little to include all of nature within and as myself as one as equal as LIFE, till i am equal and one with all of nature within and as myself.



When and as i see myself going into or i am about to go into separating myself into just ONE aspect of LIFE from ALL the rest of the aspects of LIFE, I immediately STOP------------------ take a deep breath and bring myself back HERE, till i am clear and stable and nothing moves within me as me as the mind as energy.

I realize that when i focus only on ONE aspect of LIFE within and as my mind i automatically in my mind exclude all the other aspects of LIFE, where i then give the value and focus only on this ONE aspect and NOT ALL aspects of LIFE as they exist HERE.





Therefore, I commit myself to incorporate ALL aspects of LIFE within and as myself through my writing of Self-forgiveness and my commitment to LIFE, in order to understand myself within and all this clearly till i LIVE all aspect as myself within and as myself equal and one as LIFE and that i have to be patient within and as myself till i am fully living my statement as myself as expression of LIFE HERE.



Self-Reward:

Within this investigation within and as myself about the concrete jungle i have come to realize that i am in major separation of what is ALL HERE, and that because of this i am busy selecting, making a choice within this separation as to which parts/aspects of LIFE deem having to be of more importance and value then others or then the Whole, and i also have seen/realized and understood, that the selection that happens within and as my mind consciousness system always chooses the individual aspect as having more importance or value then the WHOLE as what is ALL HERE.




Thanks


Larry Manuela



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