Thursday, 28 November 2013

Day 269, Why i am creating unnecessary friction and conflict within myself in regards to my process of breathing. - Part 2

Within this thread i am continuing with the the second part that would be about my commitments to myself in regards to what i have seen/realized and understood within and as myself within my Self-forgiveness statements.




                                                                       


Self-Commitment statements:


I commit myself to little by little as i start to focus on my breathing again in moments wherein i will be able to see more the movements of my mind and in so doing be able to prevent myself from physical actions that lead to consequences that are not what is best for all.

I commit myself to work on my anger within and as myself that i have created within and as myself against myself because of myself being aware that i am not stopping myself in moments as i wrote i will do when the moments come up and i have to stop me from participating into my mind, and i work this out through my writing of Self-forgiveness till i become more and more stable little by little within my physical actions.

I commit myself to work on my anger that i also project on others in regards to myself not stopping myself in breath in key moments, because i see that i am late constantly, in the sense that i keep on falling in the behaviour or action and then after i have a look at it, i will see that it was because i have missed being in breath, not being here within and as my breathing one and equal.

I commit myself to gif myself the gift of just being here within and as myself within and as my breath simplistically just BREATHING, without having to spiritualize it or whatever, just simply BREATHE, and practise and practise just like i will practise doing any physical task in this world, till the task or what i am practising is ME. And with breath it means that i will be automatically focused and aware of ME breathing. And little by little not missing breaths, because every breath missed is a moment NOT lived.

I commit myself to also work on my guilt through Self-forgiveness for not focusing on my breath as i have stated before that i will do in each moment when i see myself going into or about to go into whatever energetic reaction that will pop up within me, and all this is because of the very fact that i was in my mind and not in breath that it occured that i couldn't see the movement, before it happened, and only saw it afterwards.

I commit myself to learn little by little to focus on my breathing and to stop myself in participating in thoughts by just not letting myself go through them and stay within and as my breath, till i get the breathing, the focused breathing becomes me, and that i have to have patience, because it took time to be/become an individual not aware of itself breathing, thus it will also take time to be/become an individual that is aware of itself breathing.

I commit myself to learn little by little to focus on my breathing and stop myself in participating in feelings that comes up within and as me, so i can see within myself through my breath, because through my breath i am slowing myself down, and can see the movement of my mind, thus then in fact be ON time, before i participate in the feeling and thus can not participate in it.

I commit myself to learn little by little to focus on my breathing and stop myself in participating in judgements that comes up within and as me, so i can see within myself through my breath that i am to about to go into such mind program and my physical body addiction to this program and just stop participation in it before it happens.

I commit myself to learn how to little by little stop myself through breath in participating in justifications, because i have seen/realized and understood, that because i am solely within my mind participating in these justifications i cannot see that i am in them, because i was in them and not In breath, thus my focus was on justifications and NOT on me breathing HERE. Thus breathing is key for me as i see it within and as myself, because i am sick and tired of having to go to the same things over and over and over, meaning i am doing something that is not correct, and which i found out is my very focus on my breathing that i have said i will be doing in each moment but yet did not live it in FACT.

I commit myself to learn how to little by little stop myself in breath in participating in backchats, because i can see i can only be in backchats because i am not actually in fact focusing on my breathing, me being here jsut simply breathing. Because if i was i will see beforehand that i am going to participate in a backchat and thus be ON time to stop myself in fact before i participate in it.

I commit myself to learn how to listen to others without having to feel like i have to defend myself, because this feeling is pertaining to EGO, and it is also a moment of NOT being here within and as my breath. So i have to practise extensively staying within and as my breath daily till i get this point and i live being in breath in each moment, so i don't participate in mind and then afterwards try to defend my ego for doing so.

I commit myself to learn how to stop myself in being spiteful through learning to stay focus within and as my breath in practical living, because i see that this is my problem, my being not focused on my breathing, so much so that it has even become an excuse, so i will be going back to learning how to focus on my breathing till i become it in fact, that i am here aware of myself breathing in each moment.

I commit myself to even though in this moment i see focusing on my breathing as something difficult, i have to discipline myself to learn how to do so, because it is difficult only from my mind perspective, not from my body perspective, because i am breathing, just not aware of it. The body is busy breathing automatically. Thus me being aware of myself as myself breathing as my body will assist and support me greatly in my process of getting myself out of the mind into the physical.

I commit myself to use these changes that i am going through that makes it all seem difficult because i am being challenged to help me learn to focus on my breathing so i can assist and support msyelf better in dealing with my own changes that are happening within and as myself so it is more bearable and also can be more aware of myself in what i am doing in each moment.

I commit myself to STOP being too hard on myself in regards to me not focusing on my breathing as i have mentioned before and wrote before but yet did not live them before as i wrote them before i kept on falling in the moments and only see afterwards that i have fallen, because i have missed the beginning part of my commitments i have made to myself which was to STOP myself when i see myself going into or i am about to go into, but yet could not see it, because of me not being in breath and just in my mind, thus not being able to prevent myself in going into participation within my mind.


Self-Reward:

Within this commitments i have seen/realized and understood that when it comes to my personal process, this breathing part is the part that is disturbing me to move forward within and as my process, because i keep on missing being HERE in breath and then look for excuses on mental level to cope with it, when deep down i know within myself that i am NOT focusing on my breathing and i keep on letting myself get caught in old habbits of not being aware of myself breathing. Because when i look at myself and compare myself in the beginning of my process where i was more in breath, i could see more of myself as my mind consciousness system, and now i am always late because of not slowing myself in breath and thus being in almost full mind participation most of the times, and even see that only when i take a deep breath afterwards that i can see that i was not HERE in breath, thus in my mind. So i have homework to do, and that is to go back to the drawingboard and start again learing HOW to breathe physically, just being here breathing, as simple as that till it becomes part of me in awareness, that i am aware of myself breathing, because this is the only way i will be able to be ON time and thus prevent myself physical actions that will be not what is BEST for all.


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Thanks.



Larry Manuela




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